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Renovation: A Personal Work-in-Progress
I’ve never related to people who want to makeover their bodies: tummy tucks, eye lifts, nose jobs, face lifts, liposuction, and other miscellaneous alterations to the body. I’m certainly not against physical beauty, or even using make-up to enhance whatever attributes nature has given me. But when women say things like, “It makes me feel better about myself” or “I feel like a more complete person.” I have one response: “Really? That’s all it takes?”
We live in a society that thrives on the superficial and elevates those people who are willing to spend thousands of dollars to improve their looks. Some people will say, “Doesn’t she look great?” or “She looks half her age!”
Who cares?
This body of mine has entered its 70th year—how cool is that! It has more aches and pains than in the past; the wrinkles are increasing at an immeasurable rate. On one hand, I wouldn’t mind if Age were kinder to me. But I’m still above ground with hopefully many more years ahead.
Since I’m not interested in “renovating” my body, what is there to renovate? Plenty!
I love to take my view of the world and periodically hold it close and study it carefully: does it still make sense? Have I been open to new wisdom? Have I become a more loving person? Have I deepened my Jewish faith? Have I been able to overcome my reticence, my fears, and my excuses for holding back and not taking on new challenges?
I also try to face my barriers to growth: those times when I just want to be alone; the situations when I’m argumentative instead of open to new ideas; those times I get impatient in traffic jams or in the grocery lines (instead of just breathing into those moments and relaxing). I try to notice when my old beliefs from childhood sneak up: I’m just not as smart as everyone else, or as clever, or as talented. These are also barriers; they are not “bad” beliefs but are self-limiting.
So life for me is, in many ways, a renovation project. I look forward to discovering previously neglected stories of my faith. I look forward to fighting my nature that wants to contract my muscles, both physically and mentally, and I push back. Nature will keep trying to discourage me, but I’m not one to give up easily. I wrestle with those times when I feel overwhelmed, confused and discouraged. And I press on.
So 2019 will be a very personal renovation project for me.
I’m excited!
Published in Group Writing
It’s interesting that you are 70, and having these thoughts. I will turn 50 this year. I told my wife: “I don’t want to make a New Year’s Resolution. I hate those. Rather, I want to begin living my life in such a way that when I’m 70, I can look back on the intervening 20 years and be able to say that I lived the life I was supposed to live.” That means that for me 2019 is going to be an on-ramp to that life. It’s going to be a year of renovating how I think.
I hate the phrase “live in the moment”, but that is what I need to start doing. I read something the other day, which I’ll paraphrase: “He hates everyone and everything because for him the best times are either around the next corner, or behind the last one.” Then I was watching The Waltons, and someone said, about the Grampa “He taught me the value of simply enjoying being alive.” Both of these things really resonate with me. See, I tend to worry about what I haven’t done, my past failures. I project those worries in to the future and when I’m working on something (literally anything), I think “You screw everything up, and this will be no different.” These thoughts prevent me from simply enjoying living. They prevent me from doing what is becoming a new mantra for me: “Enjoy work for its own sake!”, which I shorten to just “Enjoy work!” I don’t enjoy work. When I’m working on something I’m always looking to the future and saying “This won’t be good enough.” And that is a self-fulfilling prophesy, because it paralyzes me, causes me to make poor decisions about the work, or causes me to put it off.
So, 2019 is the on ramp to 20 years of living day to day, enjoying each moment of being alive, changing the way I think. It’s going to mean being nicer to people, especially myself. If Ricochet is still around in 20 years, you can ask me how it went. ;-)
I agree Susan – everyone is pushing all these expensive miracle cures – especially Florida! My primary care doctor has made a fortune in that – and all the dentists are now doing Botox?? I will say …..that after seeing Jamie Lee Curtis on Golden Globes, she could use a bottle of Nice & Easy…..
Awesome, @spin. Good for you! I love what you have said, and it reflects precisely what I strive to do. I don’t think I’m quite so hard on myself as you are, but at times I’m close! The “in the moment” idea is so, so important. The reason you may not like it is that people spout it, but don’t do it! For example, I grow several African violets in my bathroom. I check them every day, not because I have to, but because I love to see new blossoms, remove old ones, and revel in the fact that I found the perfect place for them. (They can be hard to grow.) People say I have a green thumb; I just say I love to grow African violets! Good luck on your journey–you’re off to a great start!
You crack me up! Yes, you and I have met each other and I think we both appreciate who we are. Life is such a gift, but we can make it better all the time!
You’ve just turned 69? Youngster. Wait until you enter your 8th decade.
Bragger! And you work hard, too, to stay in shape, you biker, you!
Ricochet member @eb posted this and I think it goes along well, here:
https://seandietrich.com/woods/
I love his writing. We have a gator in our pond, too, but I’m not stupid enough to tempt him out!
I wish I had a gator in my pond. Well, I wish I had a pond.
Susan, you are the best!
Well, I’ve had some good teachers! ;-)
I live in a 55 and over community. We have a beautiful gym which I use most everyday. It is really under utilized. There is a core of people there everyday. Most gyms I have belonged to get crowded in January. Yesterday I asked one of the gym rats where the crowd was. His response made me laugh. He says the people here are so old they already forgot their New Year resolutions to go to the gym or got lost on the way.
We are in a 55+ too. Two gyms are always overcrowded in Jan. Fortunately they lose their enthusiasm by February. Every year it’s the same. Good for you, @PHCheese, you gym rat, you!
While I can agree with the general sentiment, I don’t think bettering yourself through surgery is completely useless or merely vain.
There are a couple of things I care about simply because they are a comfort issue. For instance, I had an unsightly mole on my face that itched all the time. There was nothing wrong with it, but it was very uncomfortable so I finally cut it off myself. In retrospect, I should have done it 20 years earlier. Not only do I look better but I don’t have a permanently itchy spot on my face.
I can certainly understand tummy tucks because after 6 pregnancies, my belly is stretched out and that flappy skin affects my ability to find comfortable pants.
There are a number of things I would consider just for comfort reasons that also might make me look better or younger by somebody’s standards. I don’t know that they would make me ‘feel better about myself’ so much as make easier to find clothes.
This is the same reason I would like eye surgery to fix my vision.
Your post reminds me of my thoughts on getting older (I’m even older than you!):
On Ageing
I stand before a mirror adjusting my hair and powdering my middle-aged face and I murmur: “Not so bad, not so bad for someone my age!”
Then a twenty-something rushes in, touches up the firm, flawless face, fluffs the full unsilvered hair and in a flash of youthful vigor is gone.
I look back at my own now unsmiling reflection and think with sad wisdom, “Now I get it, now I get it.”
I stand before another mirror. I see His face cloudy and unformed. But as the days fly by and the wrinkles form and the hair turns gray, what is reflected back slowly changes and becomes increasingly into focus—the likeness of His image.
As I gaze intently into His face, my heart surges with joy and I think, “Now I get it; now I get it!”
But all of us who are Christians have no veils on our faces, but reflect like mirrors the glory of the Lord. We are transformed in ever-increasing splendor into his own image, and this is the work of the Lord who is the Spirit.
II Cor. 3:18
Sounds like a good choice, actually pretty special.
It seems the external continuous renovation projects showing on the faces of entertainment figures seldom improve or come close to restoring the original look, whereas internal renovation projects can yield positive results, noticed by those around us.
This conversation is part of our Group Writing Series under January’s theme: Renovation. There are plenty of dates still available. Have a great home renovation story? Maybe with photos? Have a terrible home renovation story? How about furniture, or an instrument, a plane, a train or an automobile? Are you your renovation project, or someone else’s? Do you have criticism or praise for some public renovation, accomplished or desperately needed? Are you a big fan, or not so much, of home renovation shows? Unleash your inner fan or critic. We have some wonderful photo essays on Ricochet; perhaps you have a story with before and after photos, or reflections on the current state of a long project. The possibilities are endless! Why not start a conversation? Our schedule and sign-up sheet awaits.
I’ll post the February topic and sign-up sheet mid-month. I’ll consider topical suggestions.
It’s not easy to stand up to that guy – he’s always there and likes to down you when you’re already feeling down.
I hope you can kick his ass.
She is contractually obligated to use certain yogurt-based hair products until 2025.
I have no problem with people improving themselves. If I could take a pill and lose weight with no side effects, I would do it. I see nothing wrong with improving nature
According to happiness scholars, cosmetic surgery makes the people who do happier. I am for it. Nature is terrible and beauty is good. Cut away.
Does it make them more likely to vote conservative?
My mom asked us to state what we are thankful for this coming year. I said I was grateful to be me, not because I am so wonderful, but because I am so fortunate to live the life I do. I try to make myself worthy of it.
Great post, Susan!
Beautifully said, Mama Toad!
That’s hilarious!
We should all be on a constant renovation process. But certainly not those silly annual resolutions. Good post.
My mom always said the after 70 was bonus years.
The Bible refers to a nominal life span as “Three score and 10.”
I would have loved your mom!