Welcoming Nikita for Thanksgiving — and Other Beautiful Babies

 

MOSCOW, RUSSIA – APRIL: A portrait of Nikita Khrushchev, then the Prime Secretary of the CPUS (the Communist Party of the Soviet Union) in April, 1964 in Moscow, Russia. (Photo by Keystone-France/Gamma-Rapho via Getty Images)

Sometimes you look at a newborn’s face and just know — ours is a Nikita. As in Khrushchev. Born just in time for Thanksgiving, she’s no picture-perfect Butterball, like her older brother Zeke was, but blotchy, wrinkled and shrunken, with chapped, old-man skin, sharp-heeled simian feet, and a flaming red, bony baboon butt. Her face, at least, is baby-pudgy, but still wizened-looking. Bald-headed, broad-nosed, with that pudgy-yet-wizened face, the resemblance between her and Khrushchev is a little less than fanciful. She is also, of course, very beautiful.

Babies are by definition beautiful, even when they’re a little funny-looking. Was your bundle of joy born looking like Uncle Fester? Beautiful. Like a garden gnome (as one of @qoumidan‘s was)? Beautiful!

Nikita was born a little late, and it’s apparently not uncommon for the late arrivers, who’ve marinated in there a little too long, to come out looking a bit scalded and worse for wear, even when they’re otherwise perfectly healthy — which, thank God, Nikita is. Her eyes aren’t the usual baby-blue, either, but nearly black, lending her an eerie, alien demeanor when she squints them up into slits, hiding the whites. Other times, when she yawns, she screws her face up into a pirate-y snarl. In the days since Thanksgiving, she’s smoothened out a little, to look more like the little angels babies are supposed to resemble. Perhaps in a few weeks, her de-weirding will be complete. But before it is, I thought I’d commemorate her first appearance to the world. After all, every baby is beautiful, but not every baby gets to look like Khrushchev.

Have you known any funny-looking babies?

Published in Humor
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  1. Judge Mental Member
    Judge Mental
    @JudgeMental

    I looked like Churchill.

    • #1
  2. Midget Faded Rattlesnake Member
    Midget Faded Rattlesnake
    @Midge

    Maybe Ricochet needs an ugly baby contest!

    I’m sure you’d be a contender, Judge ;-P

    • #2
  3. Judge Mental Member
    Judge Mental
    @JudgeMental

    Midget Faded Rattlesnake (View Comment):

    Maybe Ricochet needs an ugly baby contest!

    I’m sure you’d be a contender, Judge ;-P

    I wasn’t ugly, just extraordinarily fat.  Over nine pounds, which back then was huge, but totally average in length.  My mom tells the story of nurses going out and bring back other nurses to see the incredibly fat baby.  My dad, who in that more civilized time was sitting in the waiting room smoking, thought there was something wrong.

    • #3
  4. Gary McVey Contributor
    Gary McVey
    @GaryMcVey

    Our first child looked like Khrushchev too. Look out for when they start banging their baby shoe on the high chair. 

    “If Dad is having a western sandwich, I will have an eastern sandwich!”

    “But baby, there is no such thing as an eastern sandwich”.

    “Then I’ll have the eastern half of his western sandwich!”

    • #4
  5. I Walton Member
    I Walton
    @IWalton

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    I looked like Churchill.

    So did one of my grandsons.  

    • #5
  6. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    Midget Faded Rattlesnake (View Comment):

    Maybe Ricochet needs an ugly baby contest!

    I’m sure you’d be a contender, Judge ;-P

    I wasn’t ugly, just extraordinarily fat. Over nine pounds, which back then was huge, but totally average in length. My mom tells the story of nurses going out and bring back other nurses to see the incredibly fat baby. My dad, who in that more civilized time was sitting in the waiting room smoking, thought there was something wrong.

    11 lbs, 6 oz, with hair. When the doctor slapped me, I slapped him back. And took his comb.

    • #6
  7. Jules PA Inactive
    Jules PA
    @JulesPA

    Congratulations! Happiness and much sleep to all. 

    • #7
  8. Jules PA Inactive
    Jules PA
    @JulesPA

    At barely 5 lbs, I think my scrawny self looked like a cross of starved chicken and Mr. Magoo.

    • #8
  9. kelsurprise, drama queen Member
    kelsurprise, drama queen
    @kelsurprise

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    Midget Faded Rattlesnake (View Comment):

    Maybe Ricochet needs an ugly baby contest!

    I’m sure you’d be a contender, Judge ;-P

    I wasn’t ugly, just extraordinarily fat. Over nine pounds, which back then was huge.

    Aw, that’s cute.  Ten pounds, twelve ounces, here.  My mom’s doctor was sure I was twins.

    My mom tells the story of nurses going out and bring back other nurses to see the incredibly fat baby.

    My mom swears first thing the doc said was “Don’t know why I’m here, this one could walk down to Recovery on her own.”

    My dad, who in that more civilized time was sitting in the waiting room smoking, thought there was something wrong.

    My dad liked to tell people he knew I’d arrived when I came down to the waiting room myself to hand out cigars. 

     

    • #9
  10. PHCheese Inactive
    PHCheese
    @PHCheese

    I remember when Nikita visited Pittsburgh in 1959. I was a freshman in high school. Things were a lot different then. Everyone knew his  itinerary and he rode in an open convertible. He came to my school’s neighborhood at night to over look the city. We lined the street and waved. He later remarked how friendly Pittsburgh was. I hope the world is as friendly to your Nikita as we were to Nikita K.

    • #10
  11. TheRightNurse Member
    TheRightNurse
    @TheRightNurse

    Mine was 7 lbs 6 oz.  Slightly jaundiced, but beautiful.  C-section babies usually are.  When she came out, she didn’t cry.  She just stared at the pretty lights.  10 fingers and 10 toes, all perfectly formed.  It was all I had asked for.

    Two days later under the bili lights, she came out looking like a carrot.  I can see it in the photos now, but anyone who’d said so until about a year ago would have received the Death Glare from me.

    • #11
  12. C. U. Douglas Coolidge
    C. U. Douglas
    @CUDouglas

    Our kids would lose the ugly baby contest. Seriously. I was totally gearing up for alien babies too.

    • #12
  13. Kay of MT Inactive
    Kay of MT
    @KayofMT

    Despicable description of your new born daughter. Hope she never reads it.

    • #13
  14. Nick H Coolidge
    Nick H
    @NickH

    The twins definitely went through a phase in the first couple months where only their parents could think they’re cute, and even now we look at the pictures from that phase and think “Oh. That’s unfortunate.” 

    Thankfully, they outgrew it. 

     

    • #14
  15. JoelB Member
    JoelB
    @JoelB

    You reminded me of this:

    https://dilbert.com/strip/1989-05-20

    • #15
  16. Midget Faded Rattlesnake Member
    Midget Faded Rattlesnake
    @Midge

    Nick H (View Comment):

    The twins definitely went through a phase in the first couple months where only their parents could think they’re cute…

    Thankfully, they outgrew it. 

    That’s exactly what we expect to happen — in fact, it already is.

    I do rather like her black-on-black alien eyes, though.

    • #16
  17. CB Toder aka Mama Toad Member
    CB Toder aka Mama Toad
    @CBToderakaMamaToad

    Welcome Nikita!

    I remember at first being vaguely disappointed that my first child looked so much like my husband and not so much like me.

    I got over it quickly. He smelled so delicious I could barely think of anything else for weeks.

    My fourth child was a water birth, and when he emerged from the water, we locked eyes in an amazing stare. I was unable to tear my eyes away, and I immediately knew what name we needed to give that child. It was pretty incredible. (He is named for my grandfather, who was as curmudgeonly as they come. He is perfectly named.) He also was bright red for days, and he has a tiny scar on his leg because he was born with a wound on his leg from his own toenails on the opposite foot, digging into his skin at some point before or during birth.

    My fifth child was also a water birth and he was born in his caul. That was weird — it covered his face and we had to peel it off him.

    My sixth child refused to be born in the tub, and she was so perfect. She looked like Claudette Colbert with her perfect little bobbed hair and her little tiny rosebud lips and big eyes. 

    293 best images about Claudette Colbert on Pinterest ...

    • #17
  18. SkipSul Inactive
    SkipSul
    @skipsul

    TheRightNurse (View Comment):

    Mine was 7 lbs 6 oz. Slightly jaundiced, but beautiful. C-section babies usually are. When she came out, she didn’t cry. She just stared at the pretty lights. 10 fingers and 10 toes, all perfectly formed. It was all I had asked for.

    Two days later under the bili lights, she came out looking like a carrot. I can see it in the photos now, but anyone who’d said so until about a year ago would have received the Death Glare from me.

    Our #2 required the bili blanket for about 2 weeks.  Seems to be more common with C-sections like yours, or really really fast deliveries like my wife’s – kids need to be wrung out a bit, as it were.

    Poor kiddo too, with the jaundice lasting for weeks with her, I don’t remember how many heel sticks and blood draws they did before we were finally done with that awful blanket and light box.

    • #18
  19. SkipSul Inactive
    SkipSul
    @skipsul

    Midget Faded Rattlesnake (View Comment):

    Nick H (View Comment):

    The twins definitely went through a phase in the first couple months where only their parents could think they’re cute…

    Thankfully, they outgrew it.

    That’s exactly what we expect to happen — in fact, it already is.

    I do rather like her black-on-black alien eyes, though.

    That’s rather rare – she’ll continue to have very dark eyes too.  My one sister was much the same – very very dark brown eyes from the get go.  My kids all came with blue eyes, but 3 of them were hazel by 2 years.

    • #19
  20. MarciN Member
    MarciN
    @MarciN

    My first-born had extremely brown eyes at night when the nurses brought her in for her middle-of-the-night nursing session. :-) Her eyes were a typical infant blue during the day but deep dark brown at night. Swaddled in the white or pink nursery blankets, it was quite noticeable. The pediatrician thought I was nuts. :-) But, sure enough, by the time she was about a month old, she had always-brown eyes. :-)

    And all three of my kids had blond and very curly hair through their toddler years–including my son, whom we used to call “the mad professor” because of it. By the time they went off to kindergarten, their hair was relatively straight and much darker.

    Congratulations on your new baby. When my second baby was born, my first baby, who was two and half at that point, suddenly seemed so much older and taller than I had perceived her to be before. It was really funny.

    I read a great story in a doctor’s office copy of the Reader’s Digest when my second child came along. Makes me laugh to this day.

    A very smart mom decided she would ward off the first child’s feeling put out by the second’s child’s arrival by hiring a live-in, full-time nurse for the new baby. Mom thought that if she didn’t spend too much time with the new baby at first, her first-born would adjust better and enjoy the second-born more easily. An excellent idea. Everything went exactly as Mom had planned. The family adjusted beautifully, and her first-born was excited by the presence of the new baby in the household. After a month, the nurse was finished with her assignment and was leaving to go to the next. As the nurse was walking down the front path, Mom’s first-born went charging after her: “Wait, you forgot your baby!” :-)

    I think the second baby is all about managing the doubling of the workload. Parents have more time because the kids have each other, but all of the work–trash, dishes, laundry, errands–doubles. But everyone adjusts soon. My second-born laughed jubilantly at everything my first-born did. My oldest tended to be too serious as a toddler, and I’ve always thought that my second-born was the best thing that ever happened to my first-born.

    And my second child somehow seemed to make us a real family. It was no longer two adults and one child, with the poor kid hopelessly outnumbered and not having too much silly time. With two kids, the teams were matched up better. :-) That two-kids-versus-two-adults dynamic persisted right through their college years. :-) The third one was everyone’s baby, and he was raised by a committee. That’s a whole ‘nother story. :-)

    • #20
  21. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    CB Toder aka Mama Toad (View Comment):

    She looked like Claudette Colbert with her perfect little bobbed hair and her little tiny rosebud lips and big eyes. 

    293 best images about Claudette Colbert on Pinterest ...

    You’re right – she does!

    • #21
  22. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    I don’t know how I missed this post earlier, Midge.  Congratulations!

    We adopted our girls when they were 2 1/2, 3 1/2, and 4 1/2 years old.  However, the orphanage did have baby pictures of all three, and they looked exactly alike.  No pics right out of the oven, though . . .

    • #22
  23. Nanda Panjandrum Member
    Nanda Panjandrum
    @

    Congrats, Welcome, Gratitude, Prayers, Blessings! (A niece and nephew of mine often alternate having arrived on Thanksgiving – depending on the calendar – year to year.)

    • #23
  24. Midget Faded Rattlesnake Member
    Midget Faded Rattlesnake
    @Midge

    SkipSul (View Comment):
    That’s rather rare – she’ll continue to have very dark eyes too.

    Proof that eye color is non-Mendelian, I guess. Neither Nikita’s mom nor dad have brown eyes, nor are brown eyes all that common in our families, though each parental unit does have a sibling with brown eyes.

    SkipSul (View Comment):
    Our #2 required the bili blanket for about 2 weeks. Seems to be more common with C-sections like [RightNurse’s], or really really fast deliveries like my wife’s – kids need to be wrung out a bit, as it were.

    Ours was a fast delivery. There’s some hazard to fast delivery — enough hazard, apparently, for our state bureaucrats to keep records of fast delivery, as if it were another labor complication. Still, if nothing goes wrong, it’s rather nice — especially a short transition, the most painful part of labor.

    I was surprised to see listed somewhere as one “hazard” of fast delivery mothers feeling cheated for not having time to go through the birthing process they planned. Provided the kid doesn’t pop out before mom makes it to the delivery room, and there’s no other complication, why feel cheated? Getting a baby safely and quickly from in to out seems like a blessing to me.

    • #24
  25. SkipSul Inactive
    SkipSul
    @skipsul

    Midget Faded Rattlesnake (View Comment):
    Proof that eye color is non-Mendelian, I guess. Neither Nikita’s mom nor dad have brown eyes, nor are brown eyes all that common in our families, though each parental unit does have a sibling with brown eyes.

    I’ve not done formal research on this, but I’ve long speculated that there are variants on the brown-eyed genes, with different dominance levels.

    I have blue eyes, a double-recessive.  My father also has, or rather had blue eyes, but they’ve faded to gray and were never a very deep blue, while mine are a very deep blue.  My mother has hazel eyes.  I suspect that the brown gene my mother carries is relatively weak, compared to the blue gene she carries, giving her hazel.  I suspect my father carries a relatively weaker set of blue, and so my sister, while carrying a blue and brown gene both, expresses only very dark brown, while that brown in my mother blends for a hazel.

    Looking at my wife and my girls – my wife has hazel eyes, and so do 3 of the girls.  I again would speculate that they blue gene they got from me is the stronger one I got from my mother.

    • #25
  26. Stina Inactive
    Stina
    @CM

    SkipSul (View Comment):

    Midget Faded Rattlesnake (View Comment):

    Nick H (View Comment):

    The twins definitely went through a phase in the first couple months where only their parents could think they’re cute…

    Thankfully, they outgrew it.

    That’s exactly what we expect to happen — in fact, it already is.

    I do rather like her black-on-black alien eyes, though.

    That’s rather rare – she’ll continue to have very dark eyes too. My one sister was much the same – very very dark brown eyes from the get go. My kids all came with blue eyes, but 3 of them were hazel by 2 years.

    Two of my kids were born with very dark eyes like that and they are blue and gray now.

    Two of my three were very pretty babies. The third was odd looking for his first year, but in a cute way – pudgy high cheeks, giant ears, and a white man’s afro. The hair would stand on end for several days after washing. Oh… and the sourest face for all but mommy.

    He was referred to as baby elvis by his NICU staff for the sideburns he popped out with.

    At three, he’s starting to look more and more like his big brother.

    • #26
  27. CB Toder aka Mama Toad Member
    CB Toder aka Mama Toad
    @CBToderakaMamaToad

    Nanda Panjandrum (View Comment):
    (A niece and nephew of mine often alternate having arrived on Thanksgiving – depending on the calendar – year to year.)

    I have two brothers-in-law and one sister-in-law whose birthdays all can be Thanksgiving.

    Mine is Christmas Eve every year… makes it easy to remember!

    • #27
  28. JudithannCampbell Member
    JudithannCampbell
    @

    Congratulations, and a warm welcome to Nikita!

    My father’s side of the family often joke that have cute kids but ugly babies; a long, long time ago, my cousin was 15 when she gave birth to a baby boy. The baby was put up for adoption; this was a very long time ago, and at that time, adoptive parents were allowed to look at the babies and choose which one they wanted. The adoptive mother took one look at my cousin’s baby, looked at her husband, and said “We should take him: he is the ugliest one, he is the one who needs us most.” Our family heard this story decades later, when the birth and adoptive families were reunited, and everyone laughed and laughed and laughed :) And the baby grew up to be a very handsome young man :)

    • #28
  29. Kay of MT Inactive
    Kay of MT
    @KayofMT

    I forgot to congratulate you and husband MFRS, on your newborn. I wish the very best for you, hubby, son, and Nikita.

    My first born’s father’s family was from Sicily, and she came out with my bright red hair, and dark blue eyes. And I was delighted with my red headed and blue eyed daughter. Then her eyes started to change. By the time she was a year old her eyes were brown. But brown eyes and red hair still good. We won’t discus her birth, as there were compilations and we were both near death.

    Kaylett was in a hurry. She came at 36 weeks, 6 hours of minor contractions, Doc didn’t think I would have the baby before the following day, and then wham, 3 bear down contractions and she popped into the hands of the Doc, he just barely caught her. Her dark brown eyes wide open, and she stared at me eyeball to eyeball. Then she started looking around at the other people. I demanded an instant photo, so her birth photo was made when she was less than an hour old. They gave me static about that, so I threatened them with “do it now, or no buy.” But my goodness, she was covered with black hair. Thought for a few moments there that she was the missing link. Head, face, arms, legs, and back but thank goodness none on her tummy or chest. She weighed 6 lb and was 17 inches long. She passed all the tests they give for newborns, so didn’t consider her premature.

     

     

    • #29
  30. Stina Inactive
    Stina
    @CM

    CB Toder aka Mama Toad (View Comment):

    Nanda Panjandrum (View Comment):
    (A niece and nephew of mine often alternate having arrived on Thanksgiving – depending on the calendar – year to year.)

    I have two brothers-in-law and one sister-in-law whose birthdays all can be Thanksgiving.

    Mine is Christmas Eve every year… makes it easy to remember!

    I think it cycles approximately every 7 years. I was also a Turkey baby. Arrived at dinner time.

    • #30
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