Another Coup for NYC

 

NEW YORK Nov. 15, 2018 (AP) — Governor Andrew Cuomo and NYC Mayor Bill DeBlasio today announced a major coup for the city in securing an agreement with the Sinaloa drug cartel to establish their new US distribution headquarters in New York City. The small portion of revenues the cartel has promised to disclose will bring in as much as $200 million per year in state and city tax revenues beginning in 2030 when the tax amnesty inducement package expires and the last of the $1.7 billion dollar incentive transfer payments to the cartel have been made.

The deal has been roundly condemned by NYC’s existing drug gangs. Jorge “Little Frog” Ochoa and Tyus “Dreads” Kingston of the mayor’s own Drug Gang Advisory Board expressed outrage that unlike their own activities, the Sinaloa operation would get a pass from police scrutiny and a likely blank check from law enforcement if and when they undertake to exterminate competing distributors.

Sinaloa attorney Lanny Davis said those concerns were unfounded. “Why would we wipe out our own distributors? We are not a retail operation and these kinds of accusations are simply misguided.”

Ochoa also noted that the state and city governments were paying for conversion of several warehouses to house the new, state-of-the art secure drug distribution center and for the removal of all security cameras along routes between the new HQ site and airports.

Gov. Cuomo said that Texas and Virginia could not compete with New York’s attractively lax drug law enforcement and willingness to cut special deals such that the decision by the cartel was “a no-brainer” in his words. “This will make NYC a magnet for similar large business concerns.”

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  1. Gumby Mark (R-Meth Lab of Demo… Coolidge
    Gumby Mark (R-Meth Lab of Demo…
    @GumbyMark

    I believe the cartel also promised free delivery for premium customers.

    • #1
  2. Richard Easton Coolidge
    Richard Easton
    @RichardEaston

    They’re OK as long as they don’t use horse drawn carriages.  That would make da Mayor angry.

    • #2
  3. Hang On Member
    Hang On
    @HangOn

    Are they going to make a deal with Uber for delivery?

    • #3
  4. Addiction Is A Choice Member
    Addiction Is A Choice
    @AddictionIsAChoice

    Old Bathos:

    ….Sinaloa attorney Lanny Davis…

    HAHAHAHA!!!

     

     

    • #4
  5. Richard Easton Coolidge
    Richard Easton
    @RichardEaston

    The cartels are not pro-life so Gov Cuomo approves of their presence in the state.  Any deaths they cause can be considered really late term abortions.

    • #5
  6. ctlaw Coolidge
    ctlaw
    @ctlaw

    There was a delay while assurances were sought that the “coke” they were going to sell was not a soft drink. This allowed the establishment of operations within 1500 feet of schools.

    • #6
  7. Richard Easton Coolidge
    Richard Easton
    @RichardEaston

    ctlaw (View Comment):

    There was a delay while assurances were sought that the “coke” they were going to sell was not a soft drink. This allowed the establishment of operations within 1500 feet of schools.

    They better not sell any big Gulps.

    • #7
  8. ctlaw Coolidge
    ctlaw
    @ctlaw

    Richard Easton (View Comment):

    ctlaw (View Comment):

    There was a delay while assurances were sought that the “coke” they were going to sell was not a soft drink. This allowed the establishment of operations within 1500 feet of schools.

    They better not sell any big Gulps.

    More particularly, the agreement says the dealers can only cut with baby powder and rat poison, not confectioner’s sugar.

    • #8
  9. OldPhil Coolidge
    OldPhil
    @OldPhil

    When Cuomo said they had to give tax breaks to get Amazon there because of New York’s high tax rates, well that’s better than the Onion or the Babylon Bee for comedy gold.

    • #9
  10. Flicker Coolidge
    Flicker
    @Flicker

    A discrete like without comment or qualification.  Very subtle.

    • #10
  11. Muleskinner Member
    Muleskinner
    @Muleskinner

    Old Bathos: Ochoa also noted that the state and city governments were paying for conversion of several warehouses to house the new, state-of-the art secure drug distribution center and for the removal of all security cameras along routes between the new HQ site and airports.

    Spoken like a lobbyist for a rent-seeking weasel 

    • #11
  12. Paul A. Rahe Member
    Paul A. Rahe
    @PaulARahe

    What a hoot!

    • #12
  13. Cow Girl Thatcher
    Cow Girl
    @CowGirl

    ctlaw (View Comment):
    There was a delay while assurances were sought that the “coke” they were going to sell was not a soft drink. This allowed the establishment of operations within 1500 feet of schools.

    AND, that there would NOT be any use of plastic straws…

    • #13
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