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How I Taught My Kids to Say Thank You For Your Service
At around 18 months with my oldest, I began trying to teach her to thank anyone in uniform for their service; police, firefighters, a few security officers have been thanked in the process. Around three years old, we moved on to recognizing “special hats” like the one her great-grandfather wears, indicating past service in the armed forces.
In the beginning, it was tough. My daughter was non-verbal; now she is oh so verbal, I hardly remember the days she was only communicating in sign language. She was also painfully shy, also no longer a problem. What it looked like in those early months was me walking up to an officer, getting on my knees at her level, saying thank you to the officer, and then showing her to do the sign for thank you. A lot of really kind and really patient members of the NYPD (mostly) helped in those early months, waiting for excessive amounts of time and encouraging her with smiles while she worked up the courage to sign “thank you.”
Soon, it became a thing she was excited to do, as she became more extroverted. Children’s emotions act like mirrors; they reflect back whatever emotion you express outwardly. Whenever I saw someone in uniform, I would give a tiny gasp, like I had seen a celebrity, and point them out and excitedly say “We get to thank them for their service!” We would approach the officer and after she thanked them, she received such warmth in response from them, and a high five from me. It became one of her favorite activities when we were out.
She’s still learning to distinguish the “special” hats; I usually have to point them out. Thankfully, we have my husband Seth’s grandfather, Pop, who wears one and she looks up to him tremendously, and so, it wasn’t hard to explain just how brave and important those who wear them are.
My daughter’s infectious excitement about “getting to thank” has passed onto her shyer little brother, who thanks officers as well now, but only after his big sister has done so first.
Over the last three and a half years, we’ve had a lot of poignant and wonderful moments with my kids because of this ritual. In Trader Joe’s recently a Vietnam veteran teared up, and quickly explained before walking away he almost never wears his hat; that being thanked for his service certainly wasn’t his experience for decades after returning from war.
She has brightened the day of many an elderly veteran in supermarkets, like this one in New Jersey:
We’ve even gotten swag for thanking an officer on duty. Recently we were walking around the WWII monuments in Washington D.C. and approached a Secret Service agent in the process of shutting down a road for a barricade. I was unsure about interrupting him; we’ve never gone near a Secret Service agent before, and he was actively occupied doing his job. We had to walk past him in order to get to our car, so I told my kids to, as quickly as they could say thank you, and to do so loudly enough that he didn’t have to bend over to hear them. To my shock, he stopped what he was doing, ran to another car, and came back with two pins with the insignia of his division of the Secret Service.
Weeks later, my kids are still wearing the pins while playing police officer. How does one play police officer, you may ask? Well, they take turns wearing the pin, and the other kid says “thank you for your service.”
I’m not sure how I initially decided to make this part of our family tradition, but I’m so glad I did. Well, mostly glad. Being told by my child in the backseat to thank an officer after he’s given me a ticket feels really strange. And I still seem to get a lot of tickets anyway.
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I am always impressed when small children show that courtesy, sometimes with a whispered prompt from their mother or father. No matter my mood, if it is addressed to me, I put on a smile and say “You’re Welcome!” I believe it is worth always offering that positive reinforcement, to a basic attitude and behavior the parents are teaching.
Love this.
I always taught my daughter to thank people for their service. As a matter of fact, it came up after dinner tonight. I will still buy a drink or a dinner for someone in uniform. They deserve it. It’s a hell of a lot of sacrifice.
Like nurses?
I should start doing this. In my small town my oldest (5) knows most of the police who dig out a sticker when they see her and she says, “thank you for the sticker” which is already pretty close to thank you for your service so it shouldn’t be a big change.
Hah! Didn’t see that coming.
Wonderful! Thank you for sharing it with us.