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If one just skimmed headlines, one might get the impression that something monumental is happening at Google, one of the most powerful tech giants in the world. Don’t get your hopes up. On closer inspection, the walkout of a few thousand employees is really more identity politics and victimization theater and is yet another example of the histrionics of pampered Leftist employees who work at one of the many preschool-styled Google corporate country clubs convinced that they are continually being oppressed – because that’s what their own HR department has been telling them for years.
One need only examine the demands of the savagely oppressed Googlers to see the farcical elements of this demonstration:
1. Protesters want a blanket end of forced arbitration for harassment and discrimination claims, as well as the ability for Google employees to bring a colleague or supporter when meeting with HR.
And possibly bring a blanket as well as an emotional support animal (i.e., bunny, squirrel, ferret). Just trying to be helpful. Clearly this demand indicates that Google’s HR meetings with individual employees are rather fascistic and oppressive … which actually may be the case.
2. A commitment to end pay and opportunity inequity and to “make sure there are women of color” at every level of Google, and the release of transparent data on the “gender, race and ethnicity compensation gap.” Such data must also include promotion rates, the handling of leaves and inequity in project and so-called job ladder opportunities.
Clearly a pigment that’s a blend of light cream with subtle shades of tan does not qualify as “color” as defined by the oppressed so obsessed with identity politics. Note that the Google LGBT community (Gayglers) continues to be marginalized; as well as Otherkin (see image) who identify as animals. It’s quite apparent that these other groups – so often ignored – don’t have adequate representation to advance their demands and seek social justice within this company. I smell a class-action lawsuit…well, I smell something anyway. Maybe one of the Otherkin isn’t house-trained.
3. A public sexual harassment transparency report that includes the number of claims at Google over time and by product area, the types of claims, as well as how many victims and accused have left the tech giant and any exit packages and their value.
I’m surprised the California State Legislature hasn’t made that a law by now.
4. A clear, inclusive process for reporting sexual misconduct safely and anonymously that is accessible for all Google employees.
Ah yes, anonymous accusations of sexual misconduct. What could possibly go wrong? Can someone check the visitors’ log to see if Michael Avenatti has been lurking about on the Google campus?
5. Elevate the company’s Chief Diversity Chief, Danielle Brown, to answer directly to the chief executive officer and make recommendations directly to the board of directors, appoint an employee representative to the board, with both the head of diversity and the employee rep working to “allocate permanent resources” for the protesters first four demands.
And no, the Chief Diversity Chief doesn’t presently work in the Department of Redundancy Department. I think this demand doesn’t go far enough. The Chief Diversity Chief should really be the CEO. Of course, then the title should be Chief Diversity Chief Chief Executive Officer. I realize that’s a whole lot of chiefs but I want to make Elizabeth Warren happy.
In all seriousness – this is a clear indication of the identity politics snake eating itself…or in this case, beginning to nibble on itself because Google’s woke executives are likely to cave on all of these demands so they can publicly demonstrate their wokeness, wokieness … whatever.
By accepting the demands, Google CEO Sundar Pichai also solidifies his position as a man who protects women at the company (as offensive as some women may find that) as he did when he fired that mean white kid, James Damore who wrote a document that hurt the feelings of numerous women at Google. Unfortunately for Pichai however, he is still a prime example of the tyrannical patriarchy and may want to consider a sex-change operation, or articulate that he is now identifying as a woman of color, or stepping down so a woman of color can rightfully take his place. Clearly that would be the fair and just thing to do…that is until Google Otherkin walkout … or go for walkies … or whatever.