Benefits of Socialism That Are Often Overlooked

 

Socialism’s main benefit is supplying a huge number of jobs. Quite often, these jobs are done by people formerly considered unemployable.

Remember how in East Germany, before that nation crumbled away, 25 percent of all East Germans worked for the Stasi? This type of job allowed those East Germans to spend their time reporting on their neighbors and others. They could often work from home. And all the job required was the ability to patiently listen in to the neighbor’s conversation. Such were the wonders of East Germany’s electronic surveillance equipment. Later rather than sooner, the neighbor might tell a joke or two mocking some government official and then it was curtains for that neighbor.

Granted, that activity doesn’t make for a productive nation with a high standard of living, but it did offer full employment!

One other benefit is that the various matters relating to a court case are soon streamlined, making the court system much more efficient. No longer is there a need for a plaintiff to spend time acquiring reasonable evidence.

Instead, the socialist view of “evidence, shmevidence” saves the plaintiffs and the entire system lots of time and oodles of money.

As long as a person is a member of society in good standing, the claims about a guy who may have “something something, not sure of date, not sure of location” over three decades ago will be taken seriously. And if the guy can’t prove a negative, well, too bad for him.

There may be other benefits of socialism I can’t think of right now. (But there are a lot of parades and street marches, if you are into that type of thing.)

Please feel free to mention socialism’s other benefits. Here’s an East German joke:

A judge comes out of a court room in East Berlin with an assistant. The judge is laughing and laughing. The assistant says, “What’s so funny?”

The judge: “This defendant told a really funny joke today in court, when I asked him to tell the court why he was charged with sedition.”

Assistant: “So what was the joke?”

Judge: (Still laughing) “I can’t tell you the joke — If I did, I’d have to sentence myself to 20 years.”

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  1. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Keeps the population down, of everything in the territory and nearby. Provides more mutations due to nuclear spills and unregulated toxic wastes in the rivers.

    • #1
  2. Misthiocracy, Joke Pending Member
    Misthiocracy, Joke Pending
    @Misthiocracy

    You neglect to mention the low obesity rates of socialist countries.

    • #2
  3. The Reticulator Member
    The Reticulator
    @TheReticulator

    Crime prevention.  You don’t have to wait until somebody commits a crime in order to deal with it.  And you don’t have those pesky limits on powers of the police to protect the people.

    I don’t know if socialist countries have gone so far as our civil-assets forfeiture system, though.  Maybe they have. I just don’t know.  

    • #3
  4. Misthiocracy, Joke Pending Member
    Misthiocracy, Joke Pending
    @Misthiocracy

    The Reticulator (View Comment):

    Crime prevention. You don’t have to wait until somebody commits a crime in order to deal with it. And you don’t have those pesky limits on powers of the police to protect the people.

    I don’t know if socialist countries have gone so far as our civil-assets forfeiture system, though. Maybe they have. I just don’t know.

    Socialist countries don’t have civil assets.

    • #4
  5. CarolJoy Coolidge
    CarolJoy
    @CarolJoy

    Misthiocracy, Joke Pending (View Comment):

    The Reticulator (View Comment):

    Crime prevention. You don’t have to wait until somebody commits a crime in order to deal with it. And you don’t have those pesky limits on powers of the police to protect the people.

    I don’t know if socialist countries have gone so far as our civil-assets forfeiture system, though. Maybe they have. I just don’t know.

    Socialist countries don’t have civil assets.

    Heh. Heh. (except for Party leaders.)

    • #5
  6. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    The Reticulator (View Comment):
    Crime prevention. You don’t have to wait until somebody commits a crime in order to deal with it. And you don’t have those pesky limits on powers of the police to protect the people.

    Except for the crimes the police commit, although they are not labeled as crimes.

    • #6
  7. Randy Webster Inactive
    Randy Webster
    @RandyWebster

    CarolJoy: Socialism’s main benefit is supplying a huge number of jobs… Quite often, these jobs are done by people formerly considered unemployable.

    It’s a recurrence of the old Soviet joke:  They pretend to pay us; we pretend to work.

    • #7
  8. Richard Fulmer Inactive
    Richard Fulmer
    @RichardFulmer

    CarolJoy:

    No longer is there a need for a plaintiff to spend time acquiring reasonable evidence.

    Instead, the socialist view that “evidence = shm-evidence” saves the Plaintiffs and the entire system lots of time and oodles of money.

    Wait, are you talking about East German trials or Senate Supreme Court nominee hearings?

    • #8
  9. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Richard Fulmer (View Comment):

    CarolJoy:

    No longer is there a need for a plaintiff to spend time acquiring reasonable evidence.

    Instead, the socialist view that “evidence = shm-evidence” saves the Plaintiffs and the entire system lots of time and oodles of money.

    Wait, are you talking about East German trials or Senate Supreme Court nominee hearings?

    Same t’ing!

    • #9
  10. OccupantCDN Coolidge
    OccupantCDN
    @OccupantCDN

    The average Venezuelan has lost 24 lbs in the past year.

    Perhaps socialist political theory books should be sold in the ‘diet plan’ section of the books store.

    • #10
  11. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    OccupantCDN (View Comment):

    The average Venezuelan has lost 24 lbs in the past year.

    Perhaps socialist political theory books should be sold in the ‘diet plan’ section of the books store.

    Hmmmn, maybe I should move to Venezuela for a few years.

    • #11
  12. Gossamer Cat Coolidge
    Gossamer Cat
    @GossamerCat

    Very sad to say, but I don’t think they suffer from excess pet population.

    • #12
  13. CarolJoy Coolidge
    CarolJoy
    @CarolJoy

    Richard Fulmer (View Comment):

    CarolJoy:

    No longer is there a need for a plaintiff to spend time acquiring reasonable evidence.

    Instead, the socialist view that “evidence = shm-evidence” saves the Plaintiffs and the entire system lots of time and oodles of money.

    Wait, are you talking about East German trials or Senate Supreme Court nominee hearings?

    Are you trying to confuse me, Buster? Try it again and I’ll be using my secret Anti Fa phone line to the Stasi.

    • #13
  14. CarolJoy Coolidge
    CarolJoy
    @CarolJoy

    Richard Fulmer (View Comment):

    CarolJoy:

    No longer is there a need for a plaintiff to spend time acquiring reasonable evidence.

    Instead, the socialist view that “evidence = shm-evidence” saves the Plaintiffs and the entire system lots of time and oodles of money.

    Wait, are you talking about East German trials or Senate Supreme Court nominee hearings?

    You should know I traded in my old “Get Smart” shoe phone for my pink hat phone. All I need to do is hit the speed dial and I will be connected with the Nancy Pelosi – Anti Fa headquarters:

    • #14
  15. Instugator Thatcher
    Instugator
    @Instugator

    The joke probably was:

    Well, your honor we were sitting around the warehouse looking at the broken equipment, on the broken pallets that we are expected to load onto the broken rail car using the broken forklift.

    I look at the guys and say – “well – since they pretend to pay us, we’ll just pretend to work.”

     

    • #15
  16. Yehoshua Ben-Eliyahu Inactive
    Yehoshua Ben-Eliyahu
    @YehoshuaBenEliyahu

    Two Russians discussed who was greater, was it Stalin or President Hoover.

    “Hoover taught the Americans not to drink,” says one.

    “Yes,” replies the other, “but Stalin taught the Russians not to eat.”

    *         *          *

    Q: How do you deal with mice in the Kremlin?

    A: Put up a sign saying “collective farm”. Then half the mice will starve, and the rest will run away.

    *          *          *

    There was a long queue outside a meat shop in Poland. After an hour the manager came out and said: “The delivery of meat will be less than we thought. The Jews should go home.” An hour later he came out again: “There is even less meat than we expected. Those of you who are not party members will not get any.” Most people left. After a third hour the manager addressed the party members: “I know you are all loyal party activists so I can tell you the truth. There isn’t any meat.” As two of the activists trudged away, one said to the other: “Just as I thought another bloody Jewish conspiracy.”

    • #16
  17. RufusRJones Member
    RufusRJones
    @RufusRJones

    Make sure you see “The Death of Stalin” and “The Lives of Others.” 

    This is really dry, but it’s the best explanation I have ever seen on why socialism is stupid. 

    • #17
  18. Joe P Member
    Joe P
    @JoeP

    CarolJoy: Granted, that activity doesn’t make for a productive nation with a high standard of living, but it did offer full employment!

    The way they to do full employment is to simply declare not having a “visible means of support” illegal. Anyone without a job gets arrested and sent to a labor camp.

    This actually caused a big problem in Czechloslovakia after communism there ended, because this same law was also the only law that criminalized prostitution that the communists had, and all the communist laws were overturned automatically. The way my father described it was that there was basically porn and hookers everywhere in public until the new government could pass new laws to control that stuff.

    • #18
  19. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    RufusRJones (View Comment):
    Make sure you see “The Death of Stalin” and “The Lives of Others.” 

    I haven’t seen The Death of Stalin, but my wife and I watched our DVD of The Lives of Others.

    The East German surveillance state by the Stasi is as chilling as it can get.  TLOO is a must watch . . .

    • #19
  20. Gumby Mark Coolidge
    Gumby Mark
    @GumbyMark

    A clarification – I don’t think 25% of East Germans worked as paid employees for the Stasi.  The informants were those who for personal advantage, to prove their loyalty to the state, and/or were blackmailed by the state provided information on those they worked with, lived with, and/or were friends with.

    • #20
  21. Hang On Member
    Hang On
    @HangOn

    Stad (View Comment):
     

    A clarification – I don’t think 25% of East Germans worked as paid employees for the Stasi. The informants were those who for personal advantage, to prove their loyalty to the state, and/or were blackmailed by the state provided information on those they worked with, lived with, and/or were friends with.

    There’s a new series (I can’t remember if it’s Netflix or Prime – just checked, it’s Amazon) called “Der gleiche Himmel” (the same sky) that is even better. It’s about two families who turn out to be related on each side of the wall. The Stasi guy comes to the West looking to set up a romance with a British/Swedish woman in intelligence. She has a stroke early on and the Stasi guy’s handler kills her in the hospital. Then the Stasi guy switches to a friend of hers in an American/German family. I think it is going to turn out to be his twin sister as could only happen in a twisted spy thriller. There’s lots more going on than that though – tunnelers, DDR athletes, inner workings of Stasi both domestic and against the west. The first season is out and hopefully more will follow.

    • #21
  22. Hang On Member
    Hang On
    @HangOn

    You forgot the main benefit of all – hairy female athletes. Amazing what drug therapy will do.

    • #22
  23. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Gumby Mark (View Comment):

    A clarification – I don’t think 25% of East Germans worked as paid employees for the Stasi. The informants were those who for personal advantage, to prove their loyalty to the state, and/or were blackmailed by the state provided information on those they worked with, lived with, and/or were friends with.

    I think CarolJoy’s number was picked out of the air for satire.

    • #23
  24. CarolJoy Coolidge
    CarolJoy
    @CarolJoy

    The Reticulator (View Comment):

    Crime prevention. You don’t have to wait until somebody commits a crime in order to deal with it. And you don’t have those pesky limits on powers of the police to protect the people.

    I don’t know if socialist countries have gone so far as our civil-assets forfeiture system, though. Maybe they have. I just don’t know.

    Didn’t Sessions or someone else in Trump Admin stop the assets forfeiture situation? Or else take steps to see that it will be stopped some time in the next couple of years?

    • #24
  25. Randy Webster Inactive
    Randy Webster
    @RandyWebster

    CarolJoy (View Comment):
    Didn’t Sessions or someone else in Trump Admin stop the assets forfeiture situation? Or else take steps to see that it will be stopped some time in the next couple of years?

    You’ve got it backwards.  Sessions likes asset forfeiture, if it was Sessions you were referring to.

    • #25
  26. CarolJoy Coolidge
    CarolJoy
    @CarolJoy

    Stad (View Comment):

    Gumby Mark (View Comment):

    A clarification – I don’t think 25% of East Germans worked as paid employees for the Stasi. The informants were those who for personal advantage, to prove their loyalty to the state, and/or were blackmailed by the state provided information on those they worked with, lived with, and/or were friends with.

    I think CarolJoy’s number was picked out of the air for satire.

    Surely you joke. My writing is in keeping with that very serious vein of thought that  my dad instilled in me.

    And remember it was Dad who once said “When the going gets tough, the tough turn on the TV!”

    • #26
  27. Hang On Member
    Hang On
    @HangOn

    An East German fun film is “Goodbye Lenin”. Culture shock when the wall falls.

    • #27
  28. Instugator Thatcher
    Instugator
    @Instugator

    Hang On (View Comment):

    You forgot the main benefit of all – hairy female athletes. Amazing what drug therapy will do.

    They just identified as female. Progressive before Pro(re)gressivism.

    • #28
  29. CarolJoy Coolidge
    CarolJoy
    @CarolJoy

    Instugator (View Comment):

    Hang On (View Comment):

    You forgot the main benefit of all – hairy female athletes. Amazing what drug therapy will do.

    They just identified as female. Progressive before Pro(re)gressivism.

    @hang on

    I have always liked those hairy female athletes. They  make us California girls look that much more appealing.

     

    • #29
  30. Randy Webster Inactive
    Randy Webster
    @RandyWebster

    CarolJoy (View Comment):
    I have always liked those hairy female athletes. They make us California girls look that much more appealing.

    You don’t need the help:

    • #30
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