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Just Cruising
Having returned from my first cruise, I’m going to attempt to do my favorite story justice. First of all, a pro tip: go on your first cruise with someone experienced, who knows that you should never lose your key card (for me the importance was that it’s currency at the bar) and to lock your passport in the safe. Bonus points for someone responsible who doesn’t stay up all night in the bar.
Last night, because it was our last night, I chose to wear a dress that was a little too short and heels that were a little too high. I’d been informed that my luggage would be picked up at midnight, so I casually threw a pair of jeans and a t-shirt on my bed. My good friend and seasoned traveler (and responsible adult) left the bar before midnight and said she would take care of getting our luggage ready.
She called me in a panic a bit later — the porters had been waiting for her and she’d quickly thrown everything into my suitcase (thankfully not my makeup, or what is known as $1,000 worth of the “natural look”) — but I had nothing to wear in the morning except the dress that was a little too short and the too-high heels.
So I had a choice this morning — too short dress and too high heels, or just throw on my trench coat and too high heels. So rather than do the “walk of shame” in last night’s clothes, I teetered off the boat in too-high heels and trench coat (looking like an aging, pathetic flasher), found my luggage and threw on a pair of skinny jeans (all you ladies know that one does not simply “throw on” a pair of skinny jeans) while a very nice porter waited for my wardrobe change and made suggestions about shoe choices.
So if anyone is tempted to take their first cruise, I have some friend recommendations for you. Oh … and make sure Mark Steyn and Michelle Bachmann are there.
Published in General
Did Mark Steyn perform any songs from his cat album?
He did not. But he performed My Sharia Amour with reckless abandon.
Did you happen to run into @katievs on the cruise?
I almost never wear a skirt that’s a little too short and heels that are a little too high.
Please post photos when you do.
You wouldn’t like it.
I had always planned on going on an NR cruise.
I’m now either gonna go on Steyn’s cruise or VD Hanson’s.
Hopefully both.
Shoulda worn the short dress and high heels at breakfast. You’d have everyone giving you the eye thinking, “Now that woman knows how to party all night!”
Congrats on your first cruise! My wife and I got hooked when we took our first cruise for our 20th wedding anniversary.
Although I could probably give you 10,000 tips, there’s always something new that comes up on every cruise. On our last NR cruise, I learned a valuable lesson about the shuttle from the hotel to the terminal, so I’ll pass it on.
If the shuttle is going to stop and offload at more than one ship, always get off and make sure your bags aren’t accidently dropped off. This happened to my wife. When we finally got to our boat, one of her bags was missing. I patiently waited at the correct terminal while she made the driver take her back to the first terminal we stopped at. Ten minutes later, I see her huffing towards me, bag in tow. Before I could congratulate her on finding the bag, she said, “That &^%$#%$ driver left me, so I had to walk back here!”
At least we got her bag back. Once we got on board, I thrust a glass of Chardonnay in her hand and all was good again . . .
I’m shocked, shocked, that Neutral Observer would use such language.
Hell hath no fury like a woman abandoned by her driver . . .
Here’s Mark’s wonderful tribute to my friend Milt Rosenberg.
https://www.steynonline.com/8381/the-pleasure-of-his-company
Tried it once…OMG. Never again, even on Halloween.
Pictorial evidence would be a crime against nature.
Why am I visualizing that picture of @peterrobinson……
I did! We knew to look out for each other and through happenstance I was right behind her in line to check onto the boat on the first day.
We were never dinner table mates but she and her charming husband joined my travel mate and I post dinner on a few nights.
Here’s a tip: Don’t put someone else in charge of packing your luggage. This not only works on cruises, but is also good for when you’re leaving home, and helps with staying out of Turkish prisons.
Good advice. But that would require me to act responsibly and leave the bar at a decent hour. As my husband would say #notlikely.
Please tell me you two are going on the NR cruise this December . . .
Jealous.
I think I’ve blown through my cruise budget for the year. Have you been on an NR cruise in the past? Recommend?
My wife went on her first NR cruise by herself. I think I had something big at work I had to work on, plus I was not that interested. When I found out how much fun she had, I gave myself a huge forehead smack!
Now I’ve been on the last two NR post election cruises (2014 and 2016), and I’m totally hooked. The conservative pundits, politicians, and people I’ve met (and had dinner with), the panels . . . you get to hobnob and rub elbows with folks you read, hear, and see on TV.
Then there are the autographs, the pictures, and other insane memories (the two conservative women I saw get into a hot tub together. My wife had to hold me back so I couldn’t join them).
What’s not to like about that? Oh yeah, it does cost $$$. Tell you what. If your cruise dollars are blown this year, we’ll try to smuggle you on board in our suitcases . . .
I’m pretty short … but there are the aforementioned too-big heels to contend with
I’ve spoken about this before in other posts and comments, but one of my good friends had a first wife who was 4’10”, and she always wore 5″ heels. My friend was 6’5″, and he used to laugh about the stares they got when they walked together on the beach, holding hands.
Wear your heels with pride . . .
My husband and I are similar. Me at 5’0″ and he at 6’3″. Amazingly we have almost the exact same inseam so we can walk together comfortably even on the beach.
Haha! I love it!
Well, I’ve never done that. But I do pack before leaving the cabin for dinner.
I only wear a short skirt and heels when I am a little too high.
7 post election cruises plus NR 2015 Alaska cruise. I love them and wouldn’t cruise any other way.
-Once you get on the ship you can do the rest of the cruise for free. NR provides drinks at the socials and The Vacation and Cruise Authority covers the mandatory tips applied to your bill at the end. That is part of your prepay. Of course, if you need a porter, that is extra.
-You can talk politics to your heart’s content.
-They take good care of you, have plenty of seminars, and there is plenty of opportunity to laugh.
-I prefer to drive to the port so I don’t have to worry about luggage making it or about baggage fees. We park in the garage at the terminal. We do the night before in the hotel with the rest of the cruisers. It is an additional day of fun.
On most cruises that’ll get you ostracized over the stern railing.