Having returned from my first cruise, I’m going to attempt to do my favorite story justice. First of all, a pro tip: go on your first cruise with someone experienced, who knows that you should never lose your key card (for me the importance was that it’s currency at the bar) and to lock your passport in the safe. Bonus points for someone responsible who doesn’t stay up all night in the bar.
Last night, because it was our last night, I chose to wear a dress that was a little too short and heels that were a little too high. I’d been informed that my luggage would be picked up at midnight, so I casually threw a pair of jeans and a t-shirt on my bed. My good friend and seasoned traveler (and responsible adult) left the bar before midnight and said she would take care of getting our luggage ready.
She called me in a panic a bit later — the porters had been waiting for her and she’d quickly thrown everything into my suitcase (thankfully not my makeup, or what is known as $1,000 worth of the “natural look”) — but I had nothing to wear in the morning except the dress that was a little too short and the too-high heels.
So I had a choice this morning — too short dress and too high heels, or just throw on my trench coat and too high heels. So rather than do the “walk of shame” in last night’s clothes, I teetered off the boat in too-high heels and trench coat (looking like an aging, pathetic flasher), found my luggage and threw on a pair of skinny jeans (all you ladies know that one does not simply “throw on” a pair of skinny jeans) while a very nice porter waited for my wardrobe change and made suggestions about shoe choices.
So if anyone is tempted to take their first cruise, I have some friend recommendations for you. Oh … and make sure Mark Steyn and Michelle Bachmann are there.