Disturbing Facts That Will Change Your Mind About Brett Kavanaugh

 

Many conservatives on Ricochet are no doubt pro-Kavanaugh. But these facts will change your mind about him.

1) Conservatives claim that Kavanaugh’s accusers’ charges may be influenced by his judicial beliefs, and the accusers may have false or implanted memories. If all of these are true, then imagine the disturbing consequences: his judicial opinions could be enough to plant memories of rape within the minds of women.

2) Kavanaugh, probably sensing that old age would reduce the variety of females he could bed, chose to have a single “sex partner.” In a private ceremony, she took an oath to “obey” him. He gave her a new name and identity and now keeps his sex partner in tow at many public appearances.

3) Brett Kavanaugh claimed to be a virgin until well after high school. Yet in the same interview, he did not specifically address whether or not this meant that he engaged in any sort of relations with other species, leaving open the question of whether this occurred.

4) Kavanaugh played football in high school, a sport now known to cause CTE and drive players to madness. If confirmed, Kavanaugh may be the only supreme court justice with the same brain disease as convicted murderer and suicide victim Aaron Hernandez.

5) Georgetown Prep, Kavanaugh’s alma mater, is a Jesuit school with ties to Pope Francis. The Pope was recently accused of covering up the crimes of abusive Catholic bishops.

6) Kavanaugh has noted his coaching of local youth basketball teams. In the pros, the WNBA is the league with the lower proportion of African-Americans. Guess which gender Kavanaugh coaches? You guessed it: women.

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  1. Hugh Member
    Hugh
    @Hugh

    Ok but this is not really funny right now.

    • #1
  2. Henry Racette Member
    Henry Racette
    @HenryRacette

    I find your arguments strangely compelling — if understated.

    • #2
  3. Sisyphus Member
    Sisyphus
    @Sisyphus

    What about his carbon footprint? And his refusal to wed a man or a transsexual? Or to purchase Nike brand items in solidarity with the jobless Kaepernick? Resistance is futile.

    • #3
  4. Henry Racette Member
    Henry Racette
    @HenryRacette

    Sisyphus (View Comment):
    What about his carbon footprint? …

    All good and valid points, Sis. Also, I’ve never seen him wear a hat, much less an anatomically correct one. And that speaks volumes.

     

    • #4
  5. Egg Man Inactive
    Egg Man
    @EggMan

    Come to think of it, the fact that he references “women” so much shows that sees gender in binary terms.

    • #5
  6. PHCheese Inactive
    PHCheese
    @PHCheese

    He is just another drunken Irishman?

    • #6
  7. TRibbey Inactive
    TRibbey
    @TRibbey

    Sisyphus (View Comment):

    What about his carbon footprint? And his refusal to wed a man or a transsexual? Or to purchase Nike brand items in solidarity with the jobless Kaepernick? Resistance is futile.

    Another in a long line of civil rights heroes.

    • #7
  8. Misthiocracy, Joke Pending Member
    Misthiocracy, Joke Pending
    @Misthiocracy

    • #8
  9. Joshua Bissey Inactive
    Joshua Bissey
    @TheSockMonkey

    Thank you, Egg Man, for opening my eyes. I once was blind, but now I see.

    • #9
  10. Arthur Beare Member
    Arthur Beare
    @ArthurBeare

    Ah, no wonder the lefties are after him.  Clearly not one of them.

    • #10
  11. Rodin Member
    Rodin
    @Rodin

    But have we delved deeply enough to uncover his greatest sin? What could be “greatest” you say? Well, it is the sin that’s is too terrible to name but which would be so objectionable that even a hint of commission puts the person beyond the pale of civilized society. But without naming it how can we agree that it is the “greatest”? Precisely because it cannot, must not be named.

    • #11
  12. Cow Girl Thatcher
    Cow Girl
    @CowGirl

    I know you think people will see this as sarcastic and humorous…but, seriously, in this world?? This is a risky post @eggman!!

     

    • #12
  13. Jim Wright Inactive
    Jim Wright
    @JimW

    Life imitates parody in five…four…three…

    • #13
  14. Egg Man Inactive
    Egg Man
    @EggMan

    Cow Girl (View Comment):

    I know you think people will see this as sarcastic and humorous…but, seriously, in this world?? This is a risky post @eggman!!

     

    I really do fear that someone will pick up on that CTE line. I will both laugh and cry if DiFi asks how many hits to the head he had as a kid. 

    • #14
  15. OldPhil Coolidge
    OldPhil
    @OldPhil

    Henry Racette (View Comment):

    Sisyphus (View Comment):
    What about his carbon footprint? …

    All good and valid points, Sis. Also, I’ve never seen him wear a hat, much less an anatomically correct one. And that speaks volumes.

     

    He’s got too much doggone hair to wear a hat. Damn Hirsute-American.

    • #15
  16. Basil Fawlty Member
    Basil Fawlty
    @BasilFawlty

    Cow Girl (View Comment):

    I know you think people will see this as sarcastic and humorous…but, seriously, in this world?? This is a risky post @eggman!!

     

    Egging on Democrats is risky? Nah.

    • #16
  17. Cato Rand Inactive
    Cato Rand
    @CatoRand

    Hugh (View Comment):

    Ok but this is not really funny right now.

    Um, yes, it is.  Well done @eggman.

    • #17
  18. Gossamer Cat Coolidge
    Gossamer Cat
    @GossamerCat

    All of this would go away if he would just identify as a woman.  Then, as I understand the rules, s/he would have to be believed.  

    • #18
  19. Quake Voter Inactive
    Quake Voter
    @QuakeVoter

    Been reading The Guardian I see.

    • #19
  20. Hoyacon Member
    Hoyacon
    @Hoyacon

    I will guarantee you that, at some point, Kavanaugh has sung this:

    If that’s not reason enough to keep him off SCOTUS . . .

    I’m also guessing that at some point, he’s owned a two-seater sports car and worn a rep tie with a J. Press blazer.  The horror!

    • #20
  21. Henry Racette Member
    Henry Racette
    @HenryRacette

    Okay, kidding aside, I think we can all agree that there are some big holes in Kavanaugh’s personal history, and that we deserve to have some federal light shone on that. I’m concerned about some serious gaps in the record, and I’m sure I’m not alone.

    I’m talking about the K-8 years, of course. Why the silence? What is he hiding?

    We have a right to know.

    • #21
  22. Sisyphus Member
    Sisyphus
    @Sisyphus

    Was there astroturf lining the bed of his pickup truck? How can we judge without the pertinent facts!!!

    • #22
  23. Bijou Member
    Bijou
    @Bijou

    Yes, yes, yes to all the above. What new revelations are coming? Maybe he was on the grassy knoll in Dallas.

    • #23
  24. James Gawron Inactive
    James Gawron
    @JamesGawron

    Egg Man (View Comment):

    Cow Girl (View Comment):

    I know you think people will see this as sarcastic and humorous…but, seriously, in this world?? This is a risky post @eggman!!

    I really do fear that someone will pick up on that CTE line. I will both laugh and cry if DiFi asks how many hits to the head he had as a kid.

    Egg,

    You have forgotten the most damning evidence of them all. Brett Kavanaugh is a Homo Sapien Sapiens. Many murderers, thieves, and rapists have been Homo Sapien Sapiens. You see the pattern.

    Let that be a lesson to you.

    Regards,

    Jim

    • #24
  25. Misthiocracy, Joke Pending Member
    Misthiocracy, Joke Pending
    @Misthiocracy

    Henry Racette (View Comment):

    Okay, kidding aside, I think we can all agree that there are some big holes in Kavanaugh’s personal history, and that we deserve to have some federal light shone on that. I’m concerned about some serious gaps in the record, and I’m sure I’m not alone.

    I’m talking about the K-8 years, of course. Why the silence? What is he hiding?

    We have a right to know.

    The real reason Julian Assange is a virtual prisoner in Ecuador’s London embassy is that he has documentation proving Kavanaugh’s childhood addiction to non-toxic white glue.  Elmer’s is a hell of a drug.

    • #25
  26. Henry Racette Member
    Henry Racette
    @HenryRacette

    Misthiocracy, Joke Pending (View Comment):

    Henry Racette (View Comment):

    Okay, kidding aside, I think we can all agree that there are some big holes in Kavanaugh’s personal history, and that we deserve to have some federal light shone on that. I’m concerned about some serious gaps in the record, and I’m sure I’m not alone.

    I’m talking about the K-8 years, of course. Why the silence? What is he hiding?

    We have a right to know.

    The real reason Julian Assange is a virtual prisoner in Ecuador’s London embassy is that he has documentation proving Kavanaugh’s childhood addiction to non-toxic white glue. Elmer’s is a hell of a drug.

    It’s the sticky water-soluble gateway to a nightmare of adhesive dependency.

    • #26
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