Contributor Post Created with Sketch. Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. Garden Scene: The Don’s Advice To Michael

 

It’s late in the Don’s second term. The Don and his recently elected successor, Michael “Whitey” Pence, sit in the Don’s private garden in Mar-a-Lago on a bright, sunny day in South Florida.

The Don is older and slower now, only able to work 18 hours a day. He’s still recovering from Bob “Ferris” Mueller’s seven-year vendetta to bring down Big D on the mean streets of D.C. on behalf of the ruthless government crime families controlling the nation’s capitol.

The Don: So—Pelosi’s family will move against you first. Nancy, or maybe Maxine, will try to set up a meeting with someone you absolutely trust, guaranteeing your safety. And at the meeting, you’ll be impeached. (beat) I never drank alcohol before. Now I’m drinking a lot of wine.

Whitey: It’s good for you, Don.

The Don: I don’t know—your wife and children—are you happy with them?

Whitey: Very happy.

The Don: That’s good. I hope you don’t mind the way I…I keep going over this business with Pelosi and the other Swamp families, the Black Hand Caucus… I can’t remember them all. There were so many.

Whitey: I’ve got it, Don.

The Don: It’s an old habit. I spent my life trying not to be careless—liberals and lobbyists can be careless, but if you want to reduce the power in D.C., you… (The Don looks distracted) How’s your boy?

Whitey: He’s good, Don. He’s 37 now.

The Don: You know, I never wanted this for you. I wanted you to be an international financier and currency trader, like…, uh, the ugly guy…

Whitey: Soros.

The Don: Yeah, Soros. I keep forgetting. Anyway, I never wanted you to be mixed up with this political stuff. It’s nasty business. Did I ever tell you how the Clinton family tried to take me down? Couldn’t do it. Then they had to take a shotgun to all their cell phones and computers and bury them in a swamp near Foggy Bottom not far from where they finished off General Flynn and Georgie the Greek…what’s his…?

Whitey: Papadopoulos.

The Don: Yeah. The Greek. And then they went after the fat guy with the bad dye job…

Whitey: Manafort.

The Don: Yeah. I never trusted that guy anyway. So, Michael…

Whitey: (patting The Don on his forearm) Don’t worry, Don. I’m ready for Ferris Mueller, and if the DOJ syndicate comes at me with another dossier, whether it’s steel, or iron, whatever. You taught me…

The Don: Remember, they don’t do the omerta thing anymore. Soon as they’re caught they start singing, or flipping I think they call it…. And remember how we got rid of that tall guy, Cometti, or Comey, what they changed it to when his people came over from the old country.

Whitey: I got it, Don. Let’s get you some rest.

 

Whitey helps The Don up. They move slowly out the garden, Whitey patting The Don on his shoulder.

 

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  1. Lockdowns are Precious Inactive
    Lockdowns are Precious Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    I have a new handle.

    • #1
    • August 21, 2018, at 1:42 PM PDT
    • 5 likes
  2. Arahant Member

    Love it!

    • #2
    • August 21, 2018, at 1:42 PM PDT
    • 1 like
  3. Lockdowns are Precious Inactive
    Lockdowns are Precious Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    “Go on out and get some air, fatso!”

    • #3
    • August 21, 2018, at 2:20 PM PDT
    • 3 likes
  4. Quake Voter Inactive

    “Schumer’s a pimp. Do you think he could have outfought Jim Jordan? But I didn’t know until this day it was Mitch Tartaruga all along.”

    • #4
    • August 21, 2018, at 7:17 PM PDT
    • 5 likes
  5. Columbo Member

    • #5
    • August 22, 2018, at 11:12 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
  6. Jeff Hawkins Coolidge

    I tend to think the Don is in need of a wartime consigliere

    • #6
    • August 22, 2018, at 11:33 AM PDT
    • 4 likes
  7. Columbo Member

    Jeff Hawkins (View Comment):

    I tend to think the Don is in need of a wartime consigliere

    Rush Limbaugh (and I) want Joe diGenova

    • #7
    • August 22, 2018, at 11:38 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
  8. Trajan Thatcher

    Trump to Cohen…’Mikey, don’t ever take sides against the family again….’

     

    Time to go fishing Mikey…..

     

     

     

     

     

     

    • #8
    • August 22, 2018, at 11:40 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
  9. Valiuth Member
    Valiuth Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    So who was Sonny? 

    Also can you imagine this scene with Michael “Whitey” Pence. Where his wife tells him she had an abortion because she couldn’t bare the thought of having anymore of his children because he is so evil? 

     

     

    • #9
    • August 22, 2018, at 1:11 PM PDT
    • 1 like
  10. Quake Voter Inactive

    Valiuth (View Comment):

    So who was Sonny?

    Also can you imagine this scene with Michael “Whitey” Pence. Where his wife tells him she had an abortion because she couldn’t bare the thought of having anymore of his children because he is so evil?

    Well, the Don does have a first son who is impetuous, hard on the ladies and may get massacred in the Southern District of New York.

    Who is potentially the “Michael”, an Ivy league educated war hero whose trajectory is changed by defending the Don from his mortal enemies? Tom Cotton?

    Fredo is obvious. The small man whose weakness and indecisiveness subjected the Corleones to the attack of the other families: Jeff Sessions.

    • #10
    • August 22, 2018, at 1:41 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  11. Quake Voter Inactive

    Hyman Roth is obvious too. Hyman is brilliant and devious. He was one of the intellectual architects. Yet, he led the group into a disastrous foreign venture. Now he is exiled to the margins but is still potentially lethal to the Don.

    Bill Kristol!

    • #11
    • August 22, 2018, at 1:52 PM PDT
    • 1 like
  12. Basil Fawlty Member
    Basil Fawlty Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    MichaelHenry: the ruthless government crime families controlling the nation’s capitol.

    Not broad enough.

    • #12
    • August 22, 2018, at 3:34 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  13. Hypatia Inactive

    Our Don demands a service of us. Let’s not fail! 

    • #13
    • August 23, 2018, at 4:37 AM PDT
    • 1 like
  14. Henry Racette Contributor

    Damn. Not bad. Not half bad at all.

    • #14
    • August 23, 2018, at 11:10 AM PDT
    • 1 like

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