Garden Scene: The Don’s Advice To Michael

 

It’s late in the Don’s second term. The Don and his recently elected successor, Michael “Whitey” Pence, sit in the Don’s private garden in Mar-a-Lago on a bright, sunny day in South Florida.

The Don is older and slower now, only able to work 18 hours a day. He’s still recovering from Bob “Ferris” Mueller’s seven-year vendetta to bring down Big D on the mean streets of D.C. on behalf of the ruthless government crime families controlling the nation’s capitol.

The Don: So—Pelosi’s family will move against you first. Nancy, or maybe Maxine, will try to set up a meeting with someone you absolutely trust, guaranteeing your safety. And at the meeting, you’ll be impeached. (beat) I never drank alcohol before. Now I’m drinking a lot of wine.

Whitey: It’s good for you, Don.

The Don: I don’t know—your wife and children—are you happy with them?

Whitey: Very happy.

The Don: That’s good. I hope you don’t mind the way I…I keep going over this business with Pelosi and the other Swamp families, the Black Hand Caucus… I can’t remember them all. There were so many.

Whitey: I’ve got it, Don.

The Don: It’s an old habit. I spent my life trying not to be careless—liberals and lobbyists can be careless, but if you want to reduce the power in D.C., you… (The Don looks distracted) How’s your boy?

Whitey: He’s good, Don. He’s 37 now.

The Don: You know, I never wanted this for you. I wanted you to be an international financier and currency trader, like…, uh, the ugly guy…

Whitey: Soros.

The Don: Yeah, Soros. I keep forgetting. Anyway, I never wanted you to be mixed up with this political stuff. It’s nasty business. Did I ever tell you how the Clinton family tried to take me down? Couldn’t do it. Then they had to take a shotgun to all their cell phones and computers and bury them in a swamp near Foggy Bottom not far from where they finished off General Flynn and Georgie the Greek…what’s his…?

Whitey: Papadopoulos.

The Don: Yeah. The Greek. And then they went after the fat guy with the bad dye job…

Whitey: Manafort.

The Don: Yeah. I never trusted that guy anyway. So, Michael…

Whitey: (patting The Don on his forearm) Don’t worry, Don. I’m ready for Ferris Mueller, and if the DOJ syndicate comes at me with another dossier, whether it’s steel, or iron, whatever. You taught me…

The Don: Remember, they don’t do the omerta thing anymore. Soon as they’re caught they start singing, or flipping I think they call it…. And remember how we got rid of that tall guy, Cometti, or Comey, what they changed it to when his people came over from the old country.

Whitey: I got it, Don. Let’s get you some rest.

 

Whitey helps The Don up. They move slowly out the garden, Whitey patting The Don on his shoulder.

 

There are 14 comments.

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  1. Go Ahead Redact My Day Inactive
    Go Ahead Redact My Day
    @Pseudodionysius

    I have a new handle.

    • #1
  2. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Love it!

    • #2
  3. Go Ahead Redact My Day Inactive
    Go Ahead Redact My Day
    @Pseudodionysius

    “Go on out and get some air, fatso!”

    • #3
  4. Quake Voter Inactive
    Quake Voter
    @QuakeVoter

    “Schumer’s a pimp.  Do you think he could have outfought Jim Jordan?  But I didn’t know until this day it was Mitch Tartaruga all along.”

    • #4
  5. Columbo Member
    Columbo
    @Columbo

     

    • #5
  6. Jeff Hawkins Coolidge
    Jeff Hawkins
    @JeffHawkins

    I tend to think the Don is in need of a wartime consigliere

    • #6
  7. Columbo Member
    Columbo
    @Columbo

    Jeff Hawkins (View Comment):

    I tend to think the Don is in need of a wartime consigliere

    Rush Limbaugh (and I) want Joe diGenova

    • #7
  8. Trajan Thatcher
    Trajan
    @Trajan

    Trump to Cohen…’Mikey, don’t ever take sides against the family again….’

     

    Time to go fishing Mikey…..

     

     

     

     

     

     

    • #8
  9. Valiuth Inactive
    Valiuth
    @Valiuth

    So who was Sonny? 

    Also can you imagine this scene with Michael “Whitey” Pence. Where his wife tells him she had an abortion because she couldn’t bare the thought of having anymore of his children because he is so evil? 

     

     

    • #9
  10. Quake Voter Inactive
    Quake Voter
    @QuakeVoter

    Valiuth (View Comment):

    So who was Sonny?

    Also can you imagine this scene with Michael “Whitey” Pence. Where his wife tells him she had an abortion because she couldn’t bare the thought of having anymore of his children because he is so evil?

    Well, the Don does have a first son who is impetuous, hard on the ladies and may get massacred in the Southern District of New York.

    Who is potentially the “Michael”, an Ivy league educated war hero whose trajectory is changed by defending the Don from his mortal enemies?  Tom Cotton?

    Fredo is obvious.  The small man whose weakness and indecisiveness subjected the Corleones to the attack of the other families:  Jeff Sessions.

    • #10
  11. Quake Voter Inactive
    Quake Voter
    @QuakeVoter

    Hyman Roth is obvious too.  Hyman is brilliant and devious.  He was one of the intellectual architects.  Yet, he led the group into a disastrous foreign venture.  Now he is exiled to the margins but is still potentially lethal to the Don.

    Bill Kristol!

    • #11
  12. Basil Fawlty Member
    Basil Fawlty
    @BasilFawlty

    MichaelHenry: the ruthless government crime families controlling the nation’s capitol.

    Not broad enough.

    • #12
  13. Hypatia Inactive
    Hypatia
    @Hypatia

    Our Don demands a service of us.  Let’s not fail! 

    • #13
  14. Henry Racette Contributor
    Henry Racette
    @HenryRacette

    Damn. Not bad. Not half bad at all.

    • #14

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