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Exploratory Bite
This week, a man in Cape Cod was bitten by a shark and is in critical condition. The untrained, like myself, might be tempted to use the phrase “shark attack,” but the experts tell us it is not an attack. In fact, “It’s nothing to get alarmed about.” This was not an attack but an “exploratory bite.”
OK, I get it … sort of. If the shark had wanted to eat the man he easily could have. Here on the Cape, we’re seeing more and more what Great White Sharks are doing to seals right off the shore.
But here’s the thing, do we really care about intent? The shark that left a man in critical condition wasn’t trying to eat him, he/she was just trying to see what he tasted like and then decide whether or not to eat him. Again, nothing to be alarmed about, right?
I understand what the shark apologists are doing. They don’t want people to panic and go out and kill off these amazing creatures. Wild animals are wild. On the other hand, as seal populations grow, encounters between people and large sharks are becoming more likely and this can be very dangerous, whether the sharks intend to hurt you or not.
Anyway, I guess I just found the phrase “exploratory bite” to be amusing. I imagine similar phrases like “exploratory punch” and “exploratory gunshots.” If you bleed out from an exploratory bite you are just as dead as if you were killed in an attack, right?
Since this is a political site, let me mention the recent rise in the number people willing to try socialism in America. I do not believe they are looking to destroy the economy and individual liberty, but then an exploratory bite on our freedom should be taken just as seriously as an outright attack.
Published in General
This is embarrassing. How dumb can we Cape Codders be. “Come have fun in sun with the sharks!” We deserve to see our tourism dollars dry up.
As I understand it, the various federal and state and local agencies are trying to encourage the seal population to multiply here. Which is ridiculous. They are certainly not endangered. And the seals are driving the local fishermen nuts too. The seals eat an enormous amount of fish.
So nice going, Cape Cod Commission. Strike out two industries at the same time. Who needs money?
So it’s a shark attack, but not a shark attack? Where’s Whoopi?
Except you missed it a little: it’s not a shark attack attack.
Yeah, I thought about that, that’s why the second one’s bolded for doubleness.
20 years ago we would get excited when we saw a seal head pop up. Now there all over the place. It’s not fun anymore.
Some of us didn’t get enough sleep last night.
I wondered the same thing. I am no expert, as any Ricocheteer can attest, so I asked my nephew the lawyer this. “Absolutumus!” he exclaimed. “Without a mens rea, there is no possibility of getting a conviction.”
“When the expert said it is nothing to worry about”, my nephew explained, “he was on firm legal ground.”
“We are naturally all concerned about the risk of being killed by a criminal,” he conceded. “But statistically speaking, the actual odds of your having been attacked by a criminal are essentially zero, if you are killed by a shark’s exploratory bite.”
I feel better, but to be honest, I’m a little relieved that our landlady didn’t have a September opening this year, down’t the shore. I like to walk on the beach in the morning, and get my feet wet, especially at that time of year. You never know.
Someone was quoted: “we’re entering their world…” with respect to people swimming. I’m not sure exactly what that means. Don’t complain if you get killed by a shark because it’s the shark’s world? How, exactly? Why, exactly? The logic of that statement is more ridiculous the more you think about it. What makes it their world vs. being our world? Wouldn’t that also be a justification for people setting themselves up on a beach and then killing any sharks that come near? They swam a bit too close to our world? The logic of this animal-rights stuff gets all the more absurd as you dwell on it. Oh, well.
The only good shark is a dead shark. That’s true in nine cases out of ten, and I wouldn’t be so bold as to hazard in to the tenth.
Okay, not really. I’ve been diving with sharks many times, and they’re remarkable creatures.
But they do have great big teeth and dead little eyes.
People insist that sharks don’t want to eat people. They only do so when they get confused between legs and fins, or somesuch.
The question I always have is: how do you know what the shark was thinking?! Did they conduct an interview?
I just went shark fishing for the first time in my life. Well, okay, I spent most of the time sleeping off the Bonine in the fo’c’sle and trying really hard to ignore the smell of chum, but I did wake up in time to see a 7 foot blue shark having the hook taken out of its mouth. Also, I saw two Minke whales, a bunch of cool fish, a squid and some pelagic birds.
Oh, and the night before, the shark-fishing party ceremoniously watched JAWS.
I think I want a cannon if I go fishing for that kind of shark.
An “exploratory kiss” is likely to get you locked up.
They taste good, too!
Sharks don’t have to consume a half case of beer on the beach before they start biting, unlike lounge lizards.
The presumption is that if the shark was interested in actually eating you, it wouldn’t take a bite and then swim away. They’re sharks. They know how to rip you into bite-sized pieces and swallow if that’s what they wanted to do.
No, the thing that concerns me is that the supposed reason that sharks don’t actually like to eat people is our relatively low fat content as compared to seals and such. Okay … but how fat do you have to be before that effect goes away?
“…like a doll’s eyes…”
If intent has bearing on the animal’s likely future behavior, and what we could do about it, it would make sense to care. If there’s evidence an individual animal has turned man-eater, and now prefers to dine on human flesh, it makes sense to hunt that individual animal down. If it’s an incidental bite, it doesn’t. And as Amy said,
Just to play devil’s advocate a little more, occasionally the following phrase
is used for sensible outdoor advice. For example, in a shark’s world, seal-shaped things look like food, so don’t paddle around on a surfboard with flippers on your feet and look like a seal, if you can help it. I’ve sometimes found it easier to remember wild-animal safety tips from the viewpoint that it’s the animals’ turf, not mine.
I would agree there. If you’re not indoors or in a manicured park where all animals are domesticated and everything is controlled by humanity, well, then by definition you’ve crossed over to where the wild things at least think they’re in charge. When you go swimming in the ocean or hiking in the woods, you are “moving to the nuisance.” If you don’t want to deal with the possibility of sharks in your swimming area, go to the pool.
I’m pro-shark. The seal thing has been going on for awhile–I saw one at Coast Guard Beach a couple of years ago. The “exploratory” thing is ridiculous, but I have my doubts that this was a Great White. I hope no one gets hurt, but, really, if you’re 30 yards from shore, keep a lookout.
hehehe, we’re like Shark Tofu or Shark Granola? Those sharks are like toddlers with food they don’t like: Fat Free? Yuck.
No wonder they don’t eat us. (too often)
What are seals for, anyway? Why, dinner for sharks, of course.
But baby seals.
At the very least a bigger boat.
We once did some environmental due diligence on some real estate in rural Florida – ranch land. The lady at the ranch house where we were advised to check in before heading back was concerned at the idea of two city slickers wandering around on the back remote areas of her ranch and took care to warn us about the dangerous critters that they had on the land – gators, snakes, wild hogs, etc. She didn’t seem amused when I told her understood she was saying there were animals on the ranch that disputed our spot at the top of the food chain an insisted that we check back in when we were done, just to let her know she didn’t have to go looking for us.
This is true. The shark planned on dining, but wanted to see if his meal needed more salt . . .
So what you’re saying is that we need to kill all the seals so that the sharks go away. I can live with that.
I have been coming up here my whole life (which is a long time) and we never saw a seal in the 70’s or 80’s. We used to catch lots of flounder right from shore in Nauset harbor. The fish are gone now. Evidently seals were hunted to protect the fisheries but the government banned that back in the 70’s. It took a while but now there are thousands of seals (go to Coast Guard or Nauset Beach at low tide when they haul out on sandbar and you can really get a feel for how many there are).
I like seeing all the wildlife (walking on the beach last night I could see a whale breaching way off shore) but we need some balance. When it’s seals v sharks, I am rooting for the sharks. But let’s get those sharks some glasses or something so they can tell I’m not a seal without having to take an exploratory bite.