The Grocery Robots Are Coming!

 

It’s not that I’m lazy; I’ve merely chosen the contemplative life. One of the annoyances I most dread is peeling my fat derriere off the couch to buy a few more palettes of Funyuns and Coke Zero. Thankfully, Silicon Valley is working on a solution.

Kroger has joined the robotics company Nuro to launch a self-driving grocery delivery pilot program in Scottsdale, AZ. The service debuts today, serving the zip code around one Kroger store (known in Arizona as Fry’s Food Stores). A customer simply orders their groceries online via the Fry’s website or smartphone app and a Nuro robot drops off the food at their home. The delivery charge is $5.95.

The Phoenix area has been a hub for driverless cars, with Uber, Apple, and Google’s Waymo using the area for testing. In my hometown of Mesa, AZ, I see the cars on nearly every drive I take. The only annoyance is getting stuck behind one because they tend to be overly cautious. (I’m an impatient jerk and their sensors don’t recognize middle fingers.)

In the two years since driverless cars took to the roads, there has been one fatal accident involving an Uber vehicle hitting a pedestrian. Uber quickly shut down their foundering program. The incident was a tragedy, however, that’s a much better safety record than a similar number of human-driven cars in the same timeframe.

Here’s a promo video of Nuro’s delivery robot in action:

(Not shown: roof-mounted laser cannons to disperse Antifa mobs.)

The only downside to the grocery delivery program is that the pilot Fry’s store is 10 miles from my house, well outside of robot range. So if anyone’s going to the store later, I’d appreciate some Funyuns and Coke Zero. (Just leave them on the porch; I’ll Venmo whatever it cost.)

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  1. Judge Mental Member
    Judge Mental
    @JudgeMental

    Will they deliver at 4am?  Because that’s when I like to go.

    • #1
  2. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    The contemplative life? Right! I know people who are having groceries delivered the regular way and love it. They say even the produce picked is good! I just don’t know–I’m pretty picky about my produce. And Florida drivers are slow enough without adding driverless cars! Thanks for the post, Jon.

    • #2
  3. JosePluma Coolidge
    JosePluma
    @JosePluma

    You didn’t give your address; I won’t be able to dox help you.

    • #3
  4. Gumby Mark Coolidge
    Gumby Mark
    @GumbyMark

    I eagerly await the next step in this process – when they only deliver to you the food that they know you would have ordered if you had been as nutritionally and socially conscious as those who program the robots. 

    • #4
  5. Misthiocracy, Joke Pending Member
    Misthiocracy, Joke Pending
    @Misthiocracy

    Gumby Mark (View Comment):

    I eagerly await the next step in this process – when they only deliver to you the food that they know you would have ordered if you had been as nutritionally and socially conscious as those who program the robots.

    How would that strategy benefit the grocery store?

    • #5
  6. Gumby Mark Coolidge
    Gumby Mark
    @GumbyMark

    Misthiocracy, Joke Pending (View Comment):

    Gumby Mark (View Comment):

    I eagerly await the next step in this process – when they only deliver to you the food that they know you would have ordered if you had been as nutritionally and socially conscious as those who program the robots.

    How would that strategy benefit the grocery store?

    This happens after Elizabeth Warren’s Accountable Capitalism Act becomes law in the Kamala Harris administration. 

    • #6
  7. Jimmy Carter Member
    Jimmy Carter
    @JimmyCarter

    Not available in “food deserts.”

    White privilege, indeed.

    • #7
  8. Aaron Miller Inactive
    Aaron Miller
    @AaronMiller

    For more, here’s a conversation we had about autonomous commercial vehicles after CES. 

    • #8
  9. ToryWarWriter Coolidge
    ToryWarWriter
    @ToryWarWriter

    The grocery robots are here Mr. @exjon

    I used to work for Sobeys which in Canada is the second largest grocery chain.  Our Vaughan warehouse had robots doing much of our logistics work which used to be done by people.

     

     

    • #9
  10. John Hanson Coolidge
    John Hanson
    @JohnHanson

    Misthiocracy, Joke Pending (View Comment):

    Gumby Mark (View Comment):

    I eagerly await the next step in this process – when they only deliver to you the food that they know you would have ordered if you had been as nutritionally and socially conscious as those who program the robots.

    How would that strategy benefit the grocery store?

    Its obvious, the regulations will require you to buy whatever they have decided you need.  And they will just do a quick transfer from your bank account, and you will never have to do anything.  Just think, you can do whatever they decide you should do, without ever leaving your cage home! Yeah!

    • #10
  11. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Jon Gabriel, Ed.: The only downside to the grocery delivery program is that the pilot Fry’s store is 10 miles from my house, well outside of robot range. So if anyone’s going to the store later, I’d appreciate some Funyuns and Coke Zero. (Just leave them on the porch; I’ll Venmo whatever it cost.)

    Fry’s sells food now? (To the extent that either Funyuns or Coke Zero qualify as “food”)

    • #11
  12. Aaron Miller Inactive
    Aaron Miller
    @AaronMiller

    Percival (View Comment):

    Jon Gabriel, Ed.: The only downside to the grocery delivery program is that the pilot Fry’s store is 10 miles from my house, well outside of robot range. So if anyone’s going to the store later, I’d appreciate some Funyuns and Coke Zero. (Just leave them on the porch; I’ll Venmo whatever it cost.)

    Fry’s sells food now? (To the extent that either Funyuns or Coke Zero qualify as “food”)

    He means robot food. Funyuns and Coke Zero are slang for memory chips and graphics processors.

    Silly meatbag, Trix are for androids.

    • #12
  13. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    John Hanson (View Comment):

    Misthiocracy, Joke Pending (View Comment):

    Gumby Mark (View Comment):

    I eagerly await the next step in this process – when they only deliver to you the food that they know you would have ordered if you had been as nutritionally and socially conscious as those who program the robots.

    How would that strategy benefit the grocery store?

    Its obvious, the regulations will require you to buy whatever they have decided you need. And they will just do a quick transfer from your bank account, and you will never have to do anything. Just think, you can do whatever they decide you should do, without ever leaving your cage home! Yeah!

    Soylent Green Fun-size Bars™

    • #13
  14. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    Percival (View Comment):

    Jon Gabriel, Ed.: The only downside to the grocery delivery program is that the pilot Fry’s store is 10 miles from my house, well outside of robot range. So if anyone’s going to the store later, I’d appreciate some Funyuns and Coke Zero. (Just leave them on the porch; I’ll Venmo whatever it cost.)

    Fry’s sells food now? (To the extent that either Funyuns or Coke Zero qualify as “food”)

    AZ has long had Fry’s food stores – decades before Fry’s Electronics was a thing. I don’t know if they are related. 

    • #14
  15. JosePluma Coolidge
    JosePluma
    @JosePluma

    TBA (View Comment):
    Bars™

    How’d you get the superscript to work? 

    • #15
  16. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    JosePluma (View Comment):

    TBA (View Comment):
    Bars™

    How’d you get the superscript to work?

    The ™ character is innately that size within a font set rather than being scaled through HTML or other formatting. 

    • #16
  17. JosePluma Coolidge
    JosePluma
    @JosePluma

    TBA (View Comment):

    JosePluma (View Comment):

    TBA (View Comment):
    Bars™

    How’d you get the superscript to work?

    The ™ character is innately that size within a font set rather than being scaled through HTML or other formatting.

    I’m sorry, but I have no idea what you are talking about.

    • #17
  18. Skyler Coolidge
    Skyler
    @Skyler

    Who takes the driver’s test?  If a machine can drive without a license, why can’t I?  Do machines have greater rights than people?

    I do not like driverless cars.  They will be used as justification to take away our freedom.  Politicians (I’m guessing more from both parties but more from the democrats) will declare that robots are “safer” and will start only allowing robot cars to enter a city.  The central planners’ dreams of finally getting mass public transportation will finally be realized.  We will be controlled and told where we can go.  You want to go to some remote place?  Sorry, that is environmentally sensitive, no permission is allowed.  You want to go to a government protest?  Nope.  

    That is to come. But for now, I’m just offended by the effrontery of robots being allowed to drive, while I have to have a license and insurance.

    Then again, my insurance is limited to $300,000 (or whatever).  Robot programmer and the company that employs him have much deeper pockets.  I might have found a new niche for my law practice.

    • #18
  19. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    JosePluma (View Comment):

    TBA (View Comment):

    JosePluma (View Comment):

    TBA (View Comment):
    Bars™

    How’d you get the superscript to work?

    The ™ character is innately that size within a font set rather than being scaled through HTML or other formatting.

    I’m sorry, but I have no idea what you are talking about.

    Industrial Wizardry®.

    • #19
  20. JosePluma Coolidge
    JosePluma
    @JosePluma

    ® ™ © ah . I’ll just copy and paste.

    • #20
  21. Douglas Pratt Coolidge
    Douglas Pratt
    @DouglasPratt

    Jon Gabriel, Ed.:

    It’s not that I’m lazy; I’ve merely chosen the contemplative life.

    Oh, that’s good. I’m stealing it.

     

     

    • #21
  22. The Cynthonian Inactive
    The Cynthonian
    @TheCynthonian

    TBA (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Jon Gabriel, Ed.: The only downside to the grocery delivery program is that the pilot Fry’s store is 10 miles from my house, well outside of robot range. So if anyone’s going to the store later, I’d appreciate some Funyuns and Coke Zero. (Just leave them on the porch; I’ll Venmo whatever it cost.)

    Fry’s sells food now? (To the extent that either Funyuns or Coke Zero qualify as “food”)

    AZ has long had Fry’s food stores – decades before Fry’s Electronics was a thing. I don’t know if they are related.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fry%27s_Electronics   This is pretty accurate, though it says the original Fry’s Grocery was based in CA.  I lived in both states and only recall Fry’s Grocery stores in AZ.  Maybe the grocery chain was in Northern CA; I lived in Southern CA.  Short version:  sons of the Fry’s Grocery patriarch started the electronics chain.  That also explains the similarity of the logos.   Fry’s Grocery chain was eventually sold to Kroger, though it continues to operate under the Fry’s name. 

    • #22
  23. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    The Cynthonian (View Comment):

    TBA (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Jon Gabriel, Ed.: The only downside to the grocery delivery program is that the pilot Fry’s store is 10 miles from my house, well outside of robot range. So if anyone’s going to the store later, I’d appreciate some Funyuns and Coke Zero. (Just leave them on the porch; I’ll Venmo whatever it cost.)

    Fry’s sells food now? (To the extent that either Funyuns or Coke Zero qualify as “food”)

    AZ has long had Fry’s food stores – decades before Fry’s Electronics was a thing. I don’t know if they are related.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fry%27s_Electronics This is pretty accurate, though it says the original Fry’s Grocery was based in CA. I lived in both states and only recall Fry’s Grocery stores in AZ. Maybe the grocery chain was in Northern CA; I lived in Southern CA. Short version: sons of the Fry’s Grocery patriarch started the electronics chain. That also explains the similarity of the logos. Fry’s Grocery chain was eventually sold to Kroger, though it continues to operate under the Fry’s name.

    You have just explained one of Western United States’ great mysteries. Thank you. 

    • #23
  24. JimGoneWild Coolidge
    JimGoneWild
    @JimGoneWild

    Well it takes all the embarrassment out of buying Depends and self-lubing catheters. And you can stay in underwear. 

    • #24
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