Reconsidering a Border Fence

 

I’ve mentioned before that I don’t want a border wall, per se, but rather would like a border fence. I’ve advocated a physical barrier both because I consider it a humane and practical enforcement mechanism, and because I think it evinces a determination to actually secure the nation’s borders and assert our right to moderate and control immigration. A double fence has always seemed to me the more practical (and, frankly, aesthetically acceptable) choice.

I now realize that calling for a fence was a mistake, for a reason I didn’t appreciate until now.

Consider: A fence is completely ineffective against straws. Straws are skinny, and even a chicken wire barrier is inadequate to prevent their ingress.

If we are to keep California straw-free, as the law increasingly requires, we’ll need a wall.

There are 34 comments.

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  1. Jules PA Member
    Jules PA
    @JulesPA

    Well, we could build a border fence with stainless steel straws

    😁

    • #1
  2. Henry Racette Contributor
    Henry Racette
    @HenryRacette

    Jules PA (View Comment):

    Well, we could build a border fence with stainless steel straws

    😁

    You are obviously ignorant of the engineering complexities that exist at the intersection of the national security and hospitality industries.

    No offense.

    • #2
  3. Mark Camp Member
    Mark Camp
    @MarkCamp

    I feel that I should add something to this policy analysis.

    But I can’t.  Mr. Racette has put forth a case for the wall that defies rational rebuttal.  The matter is now closed.

    • #3
  4. blood thirsty neocon Inactive
    blood thirsty neocon
    @bloodthirstyneocon

    I’ve been listening to Salem radio host Hugh Hewitt for years. He’s been saying we need a “double sided fence with an access road“. It gets no attention, because it doesn’t fit on a bumper sticker. Take Trump seriously, not literally.

    • #4
  5. Fake John/Jane Galt Coolidge
    Fake John/Jane Galt
    @FakeJohnJaneGalt

    Jules PA (View Comment):

    Well, we could build a border fence with stainless steel straws

    😁

    This sounds like hate speech.

    • #5
  6. Henry Racette Contributor
    Henry Racette
    @HenryRacette

    blood thirsty neocon (View Comment):

    I’ve been listening to Salem radio host Hugh Hewitt for years. He’s been saying we need a “double sided fence with an access road“. It gets no attention, because it doesn’t fit on a bumper sticker. Take Trump seriously, not literally.

    Hugh is a thoughtful man, but he can hardly be accused of being a nimble thinker, of adapting rapidly to changing circumstances.

    Face it. He’s a dinosaur.

    Conditions have outpaced the paradigm within which Hugh Hewitt and countless so-called thought leaders have toiled and plodded. We can’t be mired in the past, endlessly fighting 2017’s wars. We simply can’t afford it. We can either bury our collective head in the sand and pretend that obsolete concerns of national identity, national integrity, national security, and our culture and shared values matter just oh so much

    …or we can start dealing with the looming reality of the tubular polypropylene menace.

    It’s our choice. And time is running out.

     

    • #6
  7. Steven Seward Member
    Steven Seward
    @StevenSeward

    Sorry, Henry, but I think this  is a straw-man argument.

    • #7
  8. Fake John/Jane Galt Coolidge
    Fake John/Jane Galt
    @FakeJohnJaneGalt

    What is amazing is that SCOTUS can find the right to abortion in the constitution.  The right to gay marriage and many more things only they can see but do not see the right to a plastic straw.

    • #8
  9. Henry Racette Contributor
    Henry Racette
    @HenryRacette

    Fake John/Jane Galt (View Comment):

    What is amazing is that SCOTUS can find the right to abortion in the constitution. The right to gay marriage and many more things only they can see but do not see the right to a plastic straw.

    The Founders drank their beverages out of bottles, glasses, and aluminum cans — like men.

    Straws are for sissies. They should be banned.

    • #9
  10. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Is this wall to seal the US border or to seal off California from the rest of the country?

    • #10
  11. E. Kent Golding Member
    E. Kent Golding
    @EKentGolding

    Henry Racette (View Comment):

    Fake John/Jane Galt (View Comment):

    What is amazing is that SCOTUS can find the right to abortion in the constitution. The right to gay marriage and many more things only they can see but do not see the right to a plastic straw.

    The Founders drank their beverages out of bottles, glasses, and aluminum cans — like men.

    Straws are for sissies. They should be banned.

    Beer through a straw is an interesting experience.  It helps to have had a few before you try it.   Otherwise, better judgement kicks in.

    • #11
  12. E. Kent Golding Member
    E. Kent Golding
    @EKentGolding

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Is this wall to seal the US border or to seal off California from the rest of the country?

    Why not both?      We could also include one way turnstiles to Mexico and Canada.

    • #12
  13. OkieSailor Member
    OkieSailor
    @OkieSailor

    You can have my straw when you pry it from my cold dead hand …,.,. Wait! I don’t use straws!!??  Now what do I do??

    I may not agree with your use of straws but I will defend to my last breath your right to suck liquids into your mouth through wierd tubular pieces of plastic ;)

    • #13
  14. I Walton Member
    I Walton
    @IWalton

    Believe it or not, I thought you were talking about paja, or hierba baja, from Mejico and figured seeds could blow over a wall just as easily as through a fence.  But you may be on to something, we could stick( I wanted to say plant but that continues the confusion)  kilo’s of plastic straws when we stop these people and maybe get folks to finally pay attention to dangerous contraband. 

    • #14
  15. Miffed White Male Member
    Miffed White Male
    @MiffedWhiteMale

    E. Kent Golding (View Comment):

     

    Beer through a straw is an interesting experience. It helps to have had a few before you try it. Otherwise, better judgement kicks in.

    I’ve heard that – any explanation as to why?

     

    • #15
  16. She Reagan
    She
    @She

    Miffed White Male (View Comment):

    E. Kent Golding (View Comment):

     

    Beer through a straw is an interesting experience. It helps to have had a few before you try it. Otherwise, better judgement kicks in.

    I’ve heard that – any explanation as to why?

    This was discussed on another “straw man” thread the other day.  The theory behind drinking anything alcoholic through a straw (I was told by a friend) is that the less oxygenation that takes place, the stronger the brew.  So if you drink it straight out of the bottle (less so with a glass) with a straw you get the most alcoholic effect because it absorbs less oxygen from the air.  I have no idea what this means in real terms.  Or what happens if you were to drink, say, barrel-proof single malt scotch through a straw. (Perish the thought.  If you try that, you deserve whatever effect it has on you.)

    • #16
  17. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Ya got me! Well done!  ;-)

    • #17
  18. Jon1979 Lincoln
    Jon1979
    @Jon1979

    Well you did have this story from South Texas a few days ago…

    Alligators seen swimming in the Rio Grande

    …which would seem to be a natural deterrent to river crossings in the Eagle Pass to Brownsville zone. Doubt the gators would enjoy the river up near El Paso very much.

    • #18
  19. Henry Racette Contributor
    Henry Racette
    @HenryRacette

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Is this wall to seal the US border or to seal off California from the rest of the country?

    As long as you continue to think in terms of yesterday’s problems, you’ll continue to miss the entire point. (And when I say “yesterday’s,” I mean, literally, “yesterday’s.”)

    Such trivial divisions as U.S. vs. Them, and such quaint and dated notions as “borders” and “flags” and, frankly, “nations”: we don’t have time for any of it. The small blue marble we so casually rape and pillage every single day is dying — dying! — because our self-indulgent and narcissistic dining population just can’t be bothered to drink like adults, and instead insists on imbibing from a virtual sippy cup.

    Because, even with the entire biosphere hanging in the balance, lifting a glass another three inches is apparently just asking too much.

    We’re careering toward extinction. And, honestly, we deserve it.

    • #19
  20. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Henry Racette (View Comment):
    We’re careening toward extinction.

    FTFY.

    • #20
  21. EJHill Podcaster
    EJHill
    @EJHill

    The question left unasked is “Is this the last straw?”

    • #21
  22. Mark Camp Member
    Mark Camp
    @MarkCamp

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Henry Racette (View Comment):
    We’re careenring toward extinction.

    FTFY.

    I hesitate to hijack a thread of such urgency.  One Mississippi, Two Mississippi.  OK.

    Grammarphobia.com reminds us that

    ‘Historically, to “careen” means to tilt or tip over and to “career” means to rush, perhaps recklessly. This is a distinction that every copy editor in the United States knows by rote, but also one that nobody BUT a copy editor ‘ and Henry Racette ‘ever observes.’

    I edited that a little for accuracy.

    • #22
  23. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Mark Camp (View Comment):
    Grammarphobia.com reminds us that

    Yeah, but we’re talking about trash, here.

    • #23
  24. Henry Racette Contributor
    Henry Racette
    @HenryRacette

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Henry Racette (View Comment):
    We’re careening toward extinction.

    FTFY.

    No, careering is what I meant. There’s nothing slipshod or random about our plunge toward disaster: we’re on the fast track.

    Because straws, dammit!

    • #24
  25. Hang On Member
    Hang On
    @HangOn

    Why not just a big, long pile of mashed potatoes? Straws won’t get through. It’s organic. Continual employment for cooks. And straws and mashed potatoes just go together – ask any 3rd grader in a cafeteria.

    • #25
  26. Matt Bartle Member
    Matt Bartle
    @MattBartle

    blood thirsty neocon (View Comment):
    double sided fence

    Maybe what we need is a one-sided fence!  A Mobius fence. Then, no matter how hard they tried, “migrants” would find themselves forever on the same side they started on.

    • #26
  27. Henry Racette Contributor
    Henry Racette
    @HenryRacette

    Matt Bartle (View Comment):

    blood thirsty neocon (View Comment):
    double sided fence

    Maybe what we need is a one-sided fence! A Mobius fence. Then, no matter how hard they tried, “migrants” would find themselves forever on the same side they started on.

    Matt, Matt, Matt….

    This is actually brilliant. Let’s see if we can get a grant to develop this.

    • #27
  28. Mark Camp Member
    Mark Camp
    @MarkCamp

    Hang On (View Comment):

    Why not just a big, long pile of mashed potatoes? Straws won’t get through. It’s organic. Continual employment for cooks. And straws and mashed potatoes just go together – ask any 3rd grader in a cafeteria.

    “Toddler with Heart Condition Separated from Parents by Trump’s Mashed Potatoes, Turns in Desperation to Fentanyl”.

    No, this heart-breaking imagery would create a public outcry the moment the NYT published the Fact-Checked story.

    • #28
  29. Henry Racette Contributor
    Henry Racette
    @HenryRacette

    Mark Camp (View Comment):

    Hang On (View Comment):

    Why not just a big, long pile of mashed potatoes? Straws won’t get through. It’s organic. Continual employment for cooks. And straws and mashed potatoes just go together – ask any 3rd grader in a cafeteria.

    “Toddler with Heart Condition Separated from Parents by Trump’s Mashed Potatoes, Turns in Desperation to Fentanyl”.

    No, this heart-breaking imagery would create a public outcry the moment the NYT published the Fact-Checked story.

    Yes, the grim headlines practically write themselves. No, tubers are right out. Leafy greens might sell: no one can in good faith object to leafy greens.

    But lettuce be serious here.

    • #29
  30. Valiuth Inactive
    Valiuth
    @Valiuth

    Fool! Straws are natures most versatile drinking implements, well known for their ability to dig long and intricate tunnel. Your wall will not stop them. The Baja Blue and Red striped straw has been known to create tunnel network over 40km long. While its Bent Neck cousin is even capable of achieving short distance flight through fast rotation. 

    • #30

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