Get Off of Twitter

 

Who Are These People?

Do you get that impression? You’re listening to a podcast where they’re talking about this minute’s controversy. The podcaster laboriously stakes out a position in the center. “That’s reasonable,” you think. “I disagree but I can see how he’d get to that conclusion.” Then the podcaster goes on to say “Therefore the people who worship Trump as the twelfth Imam are wrong.” Wait, what? These pundits aren’t ever arguing with me, or with someone with an intelligent, nuanced opinion. They’re always arguing with Twitter.

“Don’t read the comments”. That’s the advice that every internet columnist has received since 1995. You only get garbage from the comment section; the internet lets every crazy mask their identity, so they can say mean and awful things to you without consequence. But every columnist needs to get stories somewhere. So they hang out on Twitter, where every crazy can mask their identity and say mean and awful things to them. That makes sense.

Twitter Removes All Nuance

When Twitter debuted many people, myself included, couldn’t understand why you’d limit people to 140 characters. Despite the confusion of us fuddy-duddies, that was the format’s genius. Brevity, as they say (and who is this who says it?) is the soul of wit. If you’re forced to make your joke in that limited space you’re forced to make it punchy. That makes the place ideal for proposing games like #SitcomsBetterWithShatner or #IsActuallyAMuppet.

That punchiness makes it extremely difficult to frame a cogent argument. You can’t marshal supporting evidence, you can’t soften offense, you can’t provide any of your logic, just your conclusion. You might as well debate by waving protest signs at one another. Somehow everyone who argues with you is an idiot; shouting slogans. If you do read long-form disagreements, well, those people are more intelligent because they’re in the pundit class; they’re providing supporting evidence. Which is the effect and which is the cause?

You are what you read. If you want to be able to make intelligent arguments, you have to read intelligent arguments. If you want to grunt like a caveman, you sign up for Twitter. Good news: you’ll get better at making pithy and sharp statements. Bad news: everything else about it is bad for you.

Nothing that Happens on Twitter Matters

This is the whole #OwnTheLibs bit. You’re sharing your dank memes. Great! You’re getting views and retweets and omg IowaHawk liked your tweet! But are you accomplishing anything?

When I was in second grade the teachers (probably to get a moment’s respite) took us out to the soccer field to play Capture the Flag. After the game, she rounded us up and said:

I saw people out there going for the other team’s flag. Good! I saw people out there trying to save teammates [this was a freeze tag variant]. Also good! And I saw people sitting on the line, sticking their toes over and pulling them back saying “you can’t catch me!”. That is not good.

That rankled because I was in that third category. All that kid is doing is preventing one opposing kid from moving around. Since both teams lose an effective player nobody gains. (Being in the lower rungs of any athletic ranking ever, I was probably still providing a net benefit to the team, but it was years before I figured that out.) What’s worse: we never got to play Capture the Flag again, so I could never try the other strategies. That part still rankles.

This is a message for all the Twitter Warriors: the dragon slayers who go out there and flame people they disagree with on Twitter, you’re not getting anywhere. At most you’re distracting other people. At worst you’ll fall afoul of the dreaded Twitter Mob and lose your job. Worth it?

The Tyranny of the Alert

Hold on, before I write this I have to go check my notifications. One new comment to read. Hey, waitaminute, where did my train of thought go? Better hit refresh on those notifications to make sure I’m not missing anything. Now, where was I?

I could dress this argument up with words like neurotransmitter and acetylcholine and classical conditioning but I’d be faking it. This is practical psychology. By which I mean I made it all up, so read with caution.

You’re only ever thinking about one thing at a time. If I’m writing a post in this tab and writing code over there then I’m having to switch gears at least a little passing from one to the next. “Now what was I trying to do here?” If I’m listening to a podcast in the background too then I find I’m missing most of the conversation while I’m writing something, or reading something, or doing anything more complicated than washing dishes. You make anything else you’re doing less effective each time your mind jumps to “ooh, new notification! Let’s see if anyone is talking about me!”

Wanting to be noticed is a fundamental human desire. It covers ballpark streakers looking for their fifteen minutes of fame, obsessive A students, and just about the entire dating market. Strictly from a male perspective if a girl sees you and smiles it lights up your whole day. Notifications play into this.

Getting a like on your comment (or post, hint hint) is a positive experience, you get feedback that people have seen you and like something you’re doing. The problem here is that your modern social media markets refined, partially-hydrogenated fame. Likes can be achieved with minimal effort. You tweet something harsh and a thousand people pat you on the back. Why would you bother doing anything more difficult? This is mental diabetes.

Rumors with a Lightning Quickness

There is one legitimate benefit of Twitter: News travels fast on it. People don’t stop to proofread their tweets. If you’re trying to spread news people can almost instantaneously read, digest, and forward your news. Newspapers scoops have an inordinately short half-life. Gotta get it out there quick or someone will beat you to it.

And therein lies the problem too: When a mass shooting happens you get one story on the first day and another story afterward. Inevitably the second (true) story contradicts the first one in every detail. People rush to get the story out, they publish any rumor they hear, no time for fact-checking, there’s news in the making! If you’re tweeting out “I felt an earthquake just now” that’s fine. You probably felt it. If you’re tweeting out “This is why we need common sense gun control” that’s asinine; there’s no way you have all the details you’d need to make that statement in the twenty-three minutes since shots rang out.

These aren’t the days when it took you a month of sailing before you found out the king was dead (and long live the king!). Even so, the frenetic pace that Twitter enables costs entirely too much accuracy.

Get Off of Twitter

Count it all up. What benefits do you get from Twitter? Jackanapes shouting crude and awful things at you. The inability to have anything like meaningful discourse. The belief that everyone arguing with you is an idiot. The illusion of accomplishment. Straight psychological sugar. News so quick it’s wrong. And the precious opportunity to be a crude, idiotic, perpetually-wrong jackanape yourself.

Why are you still using that thing?

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  1. Hank Rhody, Possibly Mad Contributor
    Hank Rhody, Possibly Mad
    @HankRhody

    Joseph Stanko (View Comment):

    Hank Rhody, Possibly Mad: Why are you still using that thing?

    Well for one thing, it works a whole lot better on my mobile devices than Ricochet.

    Can’t dispute that.

    • #31
  2. Hank Rhody, Possibly Mad Contributor
    Hank Rhody, Possibly Mad
    @HankRhody

    Randy Weivoda (View Comment):

    Am I crazy or is Hank becoming one of the best writers on Ricochet?

    Thanks; I’ve been trying.

    When I was on vacation in early May I made a New Year’s resolution to write more (quality) Ricochet posts. Been doing slightly more than one a week. This is #13 by that measure. Lasted longer than most resolutions do so far.

    • #32
  3. Joseph Stanko Coolidge
    Joseph Stanko
    @JosephStanko

    Hank Rhody, Possibly Mad (View Comment):
    When I was on vacation in early May I made a New Year’s resolution

    In early May?  Was it a New Fiscal Year’s resolution?

    • #33
  4. Judge Mental Member
    Judge Mental
    @JudgeMental

    Hank Rhody, Possibly Mad: The belief that everyone arguing with you is an idiot.

    I don’t need Twitter for that.

    • #34
  5. Hank Rhody, Possibly Mad Contributor
    Hank Rhody, Possibly Mad
    @HankRhody

    Joseph Stanko (View Comment):

    Hank Rhody, Possibly Mad (View Comment):
    When I was on vacation in early May I made a New Year’s resolution

    In early May? Was it a New Fiscal Year’s resolution?

    If you have a resolution to make why put it off for the next eight months?

    • #35
  6. Aaron Miller Inactive
    Aaron Miller
    @AaronMiller

    Millions of users employ Twitter for something other than politics. Related tools like Tweetdeck make it easy to filter and sort, so one’s feed isn’t filled with trash and trolls. If your feed annoys you, then you are following the wrong users. 

    As in physical reality, don’t complain about cesspools if you go looking for them. There is plenty on Twitter beyond inanity and hate. 

    I am less bothered by the avoidable plague of willful morons than by smart writers mistaking their own cults of stalking trolls for serious mainstream arguments worth countering in lengthy articles.

    • #36
  7. genferei Member
    genferei
    @genferei

    To me, the most fascinating effect of Twitter has been on journalism.

    Obviously it has revealed journalists to be even more self-regarding, credulous and thin-skinned than we thought, as well as depthlessly ignorant.

    As noted, it has also given rise to the easiest of all possible stories to write: “Twitter storm erupts…” This, together with the lazy, poll-driven coverage of every possible issue has removed any suspicion that standard ‘journalism’ adds any value – apart from the weakest type of entertainment.

    What will happen to ‘journalism’ when Twitter goes the way of usenet, AltaVista and MySpace, and the journalists wake up to the fact that no one but politicians and themselves care about ‘polls’? Hopefully, it will just dry up and blow away.

    To the extent that Twitter contributes to this happy end, it is useful.

    • #37
  8. Nick H Coolidge
    Nick H
    @NickH

    No.

    Ignore the crap. You have to do that on any platform. It requires you to do some filtering, but that’s not hard. Avoid the toxic people. Find the ones that are fun. Make connections. I have some real life friends I wouldn’t have met if not for Twitter. 

    • #38
  9. Whistle Pig, Timely Rain Member
    Whistle Pig, Timely Rain
    @

    Hank Rhody, Possibly Mad: Getting a like on your comment (or post, hint hint) is a positive experience, you get feedback that people have seen you and like something you’re doing. The problem here is that your modern social media markets refined, partially-hydrogenated fame. Likes can be achieved with minimal effort. You tweet something harsh and a thousand people pat you on the back. Why would you bother doing anything more difficult? This is mental diabetes.

    I was going to like this, but then decided I didn’t want your mental health on my conscience.

    • #39
  10. Hank Rhody, Possibly Mad Contributor
    Hank Rhody, Possibly Mad
    @HankRhody

    Whistle Pig, Timely Rain (View Comment):
    I was going to like this, but then decided I didn’t want your mental health on my conscience.

    Oh don’t worry. That ship sailed long ago.

    • #40
  11. livingthenonScienceFictionlife Inactive
    livingthenonScienceFictionlife
    @livingthehighlife

    There’s nothing wrong with Twitter, provided it’s used correctly.

    First correct use:  stay away from politics.  

    I use it for my morning newspaper.  Some local and national news, sports, a little opinion, some financial updates and mostly personal interest related tweets.  Then I keep up throughout the day to see what’s new and current.  But politics is very carefully limited because it’s boring, tedious and repetitive, not necessarily in that order.

    • #41
  12. Fake John/Jane Galt Coolidge
    Fake John/Jane Galt
    @FakeJohnJaneGalt

    Nick H (View Comment):

    No.

    Ignore the crap. You have to do that on any platform. It requires you to do some filtering, but that’s not hard. Avoid the toxic people. Find the ones that are fun. Make connections. I have some real life friends I wouldn’t have met if not for Twitter.

    All people are toxic on one level or the other.

    • #42
  13. Nanda Pajama-Tantrum Member
    Nanda Pajama-Tantrum
    @

    Fake John/Jane Galt (View Comment):

    Nick H (View Comment):

    No.

    Ignore the crap. You have to do that on any platform. It requires you to do some filtering, but that’s not hard. Avoid the toxic people. Find the ones that are fun. Make connections. I have some real life friends I wouldn’t have met if not for Twitter.

    All people are toxic on one level or the other.

    Feeling misanthropic today, FJ/JG?  Sorry to see it…

    • #43
  14. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Nanda Pajama-Tantrum (View Comment):
    Feeling misanthropic today, FJ/JG? Sorry to see it…

    Today?

    • #44
  15. Fake John/Jane Galt Coolidge
    Fake John/Jane Galt
    @FakeJohnJaneGalt

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Nanda Pajama-Tantrum (View Comment):
    Feeling misanthropic today, FJ/JG? Sorry to see it…

    Today?

    See….

    • #45
  16. Bob Armstrong Thatcher
    Bob Armstrong
    @BobArmstrong

    Hank Rhody, Probably Mad (View Comment):

    Whistle Pig, Timely Rain (View Comment):
    I was going to like this, but then decided I didn’t want your mental health on my conscience.

    Oh don’t worry. That ship sailed long ago.

    Liked to keep Hank from streaking in the stadium.

    • #46
  17. Matt Balzer Member
    Matt Balzer
    @MattBalzer

    Bob Armstrong (View Comment):

    Hank Rhody, Probably Mad (View Comment):

    Whistle Pig, Timely Rain (View Comment):
    I was going to like this, but then decided I didn’t want your mental health on my conscience.

    Oh don’t worry. That ship sailed long ago.

    Liked to keep Hank from streaking in the stadium.

    Thus keeping everyone else’s mental health intact.

    • #47
  18. DrewInWisconsin Member
    DrewInWisconsin
    @DrewInWisconsin

    Hank Rhody, Probably Mad: These pundits aren’t ever arguing with me, or with someone with an intelligent, nuanced opinion. They’re always arguing with Twitter.

    This is the phrase that really jumped out at me. With Twitter you don’t need to create a straw man so you can argue against a crazy premise nobody actually holds. You can actually find someone who really believes that crazy premise. Sure, probably an egg with exactly 1 follower, but you get a real person instead of that straw man you were planning to build.

    And if you’re in the media biz, you can pretend that egg’s opinion is the view held by half of America, climb up on your high horse, preach at the top of your lungs, and declare everyone with earshot to be sinners.

    News stories built on “Someone on Twitter/Facebook posted this thing” are not news stories. They’re gossip.

    • #48
  19. RightAngles Member
    RightAngles
    @RightAngles

    Henry Racette (View Comment):

    RightAngles (View Comment):
    and then there was that stupid “Je Suis Charlie” one.

    I liked the idea of solidarity with Charlie Hebdo. My problem with it was that it was too late: you can’t stand with the fallen, you can only lie down with them. And that, alas, is what the world has done.

    [ I exited Twitter in 2008, because there aren’t enough hours in the day, and it bothered me that I couldn’t ready every. Single. Tweet. ]

    Why, because you used it? It was no different from the rainbow one or the pink ribbon one. Empty gestures, lazy moral exhibitionism. Nobody was “standing with” or lying down with anyone. They were all sitting comfortably in front of a laptop, maybe drinking coffee, maybe wine, maybe smoking pot. I don’t know what they were doing. But I do know what they weren’t doing. They weren’t doing anything concrete.

    Symbolism over substance.

    • #49
  20. DrewInWisconsin Member
    DrewInWisconsin
    @DrewInWisconsin

    RightAngles (View Comment):

    Empty gestures, lazy moral exhibitionism. Nobody was “standing with” or lying down with anyone. They were all sitting comfortably in front of a laptop, maybe drinking coffee, maybe wine, maybe smoking pot. I don’t know what they were doing. But I do know what they weren’t doing. They weren’t doing anything concrete.

    Hashtag activism.

    • #50
  21. Judge Mental Member
    Judge Mental
    @JudgeMental

    DrewInWisconsin (View Comment):

    RightAngles (View Comment):

    Empty gestures, lazy moral exhibitionism. Nobody was “standing with” or lying down with anyone. They were all sitting comfortably in front of a laptop, maybe drinking coffee, maybe wine, maybe smoking pot. I don’t know what they were doing. But I do know what they weren’t doing. They weren’t doing anything concrete.

    Hashtag activism.

    Do you just mean the ones smoking pot, or do you mean everybody?

    • #51
  22. Henry Racette Member
    Henry Racette
    @HenryRacette

    RightAngles (View Comment):

    Henry Racette (View Comment):

    RightAngles (View Comment):
    and then there was that stupid “Je Suis Charlie” one.

    I liked the idea of solidarity with Charlie Hebdo. My problem with it was that it was too late: you can’t stand with the fallen, you can only lie down with them. And that, alas, is what the world has done.

    [ I exited Twitter in 2008, because there aren’t enough hours in the day, and it bothered me that I couldn’t ready every. Single. Tweet. ]

    Why, because you used it? It was no different from the rainbow one or the pink ribbon one. Empty gestures, lazy moral exhibitionism. Nobody was “standing with” or lying down with anyone. They were all sitting comfortably in front of a laptop, maybe drinking coffee, maybe wine, maybe smoking pot. I don’t know what they were doing. But I do know what they weren’t doing. They weren’t doing anything concrete.

    Symbolism over substance.

    I appreciate why you would say that. It is tiresome to see people wringing their hands following a tragedy that could have been prevented had people been paying attention sooner. I get that. I’ve been writing about Islamic supremacism for years, since long before Charlie Hebdo, and it was precisely that frustration that prompted me to write (years ago) about the difference between standing with someone in the workplace and standing for them at their funeral.

    However, there are precious few practical things that individuals can do about Islamic supremacism. One of them is to symbolically express solidarity with its victims.

    • #52
  23. Phil Turmel Inactive
    Phil Turmel
    @PhilTurmel

    Henry Racette (View Comment):
    However, there are precious few practical things that individuals can do about Islamic supremacism. One of them is to symbolically express solidarity with its victims.

    Another is to highlight their allies when they try to excuse or hide their connections.

    • #53
  24. Guruforhire Inactive
    Guruforhire
    @Guruforhire

    DrewInWisconsin (View Comment):

    RightAngles (View Comment):

    Empty gestures, lazy moral exhibitionism. Nobody was “standing with” or lying down with anyone. They were all sitting comfortably in front of a laptop, maybe drinking coffee, maybe wine, maybe smoking pot. I don’t know what they were doing. But I do know what they weren’t doing. They weren’t doing anything concrete.

    Hashtag activism.

    Are you saying you need a hashtag?

    • #54
  25. Joseph Stanko Coolidge
    Joseph Stanko
    @JosephStanko

    #EndHashtagActivism

    • #55
  26. Hank Rhody, Probably Mad Contributor
    Hank Rhody, Probably Mad
    @HankRhody

    Matt Balzer (View Comment):

    Bob Armstrong (View Comment):

    Hank Rhody, Probably Mad (View Comment):

    Whistle Pig, Timely Rain (View Comment):
    I was going to like this, but then decided I didn’t want your mental health on my conscience.

    Oh don’t worry. That ship sailed long ago.

    Liked to keep Hank from streaking in the stadium.

    Thus keeping everyone else’s mental health intact.

    Thankfully that ship has yet to set sail.

    • #56
  27. Randy Weivoda Moderator
    Randy Weivoda
    @RandyWeivoda

    Hank Rhody, Probably Mad (View Comment):

    Matt Balzer (View Comment):

    Bob Armstrong (View Comment):

    Hank Rhody, Probably Mad (View Comment):

    Whistle Pig, Timely Rain (View Comment):
    I was going to like this, but then decided I didn’t want your mental health on my conscience.

    Oh don’t worry. That ship sailed long ago.

    Liked to keep Hank from streaking in the stadium.

    Thus keeping everyone else’s mental health intact.

    Thankfully that ship has yet to set sail.

    There’s always GermanFest tomorrow night.

    • #57
  28. Hank Rhody, Probably Mad Contributor
    Hank Rhody, Probably Mad
    @HankRhody

    Randy Weivoda (View Comment):

    Hank Rhody, Probably Mad (View Comment):

    Matt Balzer (View Comment):

    Bob Armstrong (View Comment):

    Hank Rhody, Probably Mad (View Comment):

    Whistle Pig, Timely Rain (View Comment):
    I was going to like this, but then decided I didn’t want your mental health on my conscience.

    Oh don’t worry. That ship sailed long ago.

    Liked to keep Hank from streaking in the stadium.

    Thus keeping everyone else’s mental health intact.

    Thankfully that ship has yet to set sail.

    There’s always GermanFest tomorrow night.

    Doesn’t technically take place in a stadium.

    • #58
  29. Hank Rhody, Probably Mad Contributor
    Hank Rhody, Probably Mad
    @HankRhody

    Nick H (View Comment):
    I have some real life friends I wouldn’t have met if not for Twitter. 

    I’ve found internet friendships to be largely ephemeral. Might just be me. I think I’m going to slide this in with Arahant in “I’m not going to generalize your experience”.

    livingthenonScienceFictionlife (View Comment):
    I use it for my morning newspaper. Some local and national news, sports, a little opinion, some financial updates and mostly personal interest related tweets. Then I keep up throughout the day to see what’s new and current. But politics is very carefully limited because it’s boring, tedious and repetitive, not necessarily in that order.

    I’m fairly certain that following the news instantaneously is bad for your mental health too. On the other hand, you do have to keep up to date. Same with personal interest related tweets. Most people I’d actually follow on Twitter (were I on it to begin with) would be minor celebrities in the worlds of my hobbies. The issue here is understanding what information is useful and what is mere celebrity worship.

    Of course, your time is yours to do what you wish with it.

    • #59
  30. Henry Racette Member
    Henry Racette
    @HenryRacette

    Hank Rhody, Probably Mad (View Comment):
    I’m fairly certain that following the news instantaneously is bad for your mental health too.

    Damn straight. Wish I’d said that.

    • #60
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