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On Family Men
My dad was a family man. He wasn’t necessarily the warmest of dudes when I was growing up, but he believed then and now in family. He raised his three kids to the best of his ability, and everything he did was for his family. He never cheated on his wife, never divorced (50+ years of marriage), never abused her. He whooped us kids when we needed it, but I can’t say that I was abused.
I, too, am a family man. Family comes before work, church, pleasure. The only thing I put before my kids is my wife, and the only thing I put before her is God. Most of the time anyway. I’ve been married 25 years, never cheated, never abused her or the kids. I’ve always worked to put food on the table, cleats on the feets, and gas in the car. I’m a good dad and husband. I’m a family man.
That’s why it bothers me when I read someone say they think Donald Trump is a good family man. Now, I realize I’ve already lost some of you. You are already typing your response. That’s ok. For the rest of you, let me just put aside politics and Hillary and all that and say: I’m happy with most of the accomplishments of the past 18 months. I’m absolutely glad Trump won instead of Hillary. I do not need a good family man to be President. In one sense, I wouldn’t want one. I want someone who will put his job ahead of his wife and kids. Because we need that in the White House. So, let’s put all the TDS, NeverTrump, Trumpkin, etc., aside. Let’s just talk morality.
Trump may love his kids and the wives he’s had. But he’s not a family man. Good family men don’t cheat on their kid’s mothers. They don’t go for stripper sex right after one of their children is born. We have plenty of evidence that Trump is not a moral man. So it boggles the mind that someone would say he is. Prove me wrong.
Published in General
So I agree with your post.
This is not a defense of Trump. But his wives had to have know. Like this was far more a transactional relationship between him and his wives.
No snark intended, but do people say that? Perhaps–it’s kind of a vague term, although your post does it justice.
I think this is a straw man. I don’t think even his most ardent supporters think he’s a good family man. They overlook it, partly because he wasn’t in office at the time he did these things, so they don’t see it as a betrayal of the public trust, and partly because what the people wanted this time was a non-politician. What his detractors never understand is that any of this stuff they dig up, instead of ruining him, only underscores the fact that this guy is no politician.
Having said that, I think you, Spin, are indeed a good family man.
I would ask the same question. There have been many attacks from the Democrats and from Republicans who do not support President Trump as POTUS and those attacks frequently focus on his past relationship with his family, which is to me and many of Trump’s supporters not a relevant issue to his service in the office. As a matter of fact, I don’t know that his past behaviors being criticized are still part of his life.
I have heard @hypatia do so.
Here’s what shapes my response to this issue.
I’m a close match to your father in terms you described in the OP. Fifty-two years of faithful earthly marriage, three children, and seven grandchildren. I feel good about that.
I had a decade of living before my marriage that left me in a place where my view now is that my wife and family saved my life.
a Family man, no. A good man, I think so. A man with a good heart, who fails morally. I have too. Not my proudest moments. That does not make either him or me morally repugnant, just human. One thing that does speak volumes about his values a s a family man are that fairly unanimously all his exes (is there a song by that title?) and his kids seem to be very loyal and supportive. That does say something. My Parents were married for 50+ years. My dad was much like yours. An amazing provider, a great teacher, not very affectionate, an incredible MacGyver type character. he could fix, repair, design, build, invent, create and solve anything, it seemed. I try to emulate him, but like Donald, was not successful with the marriages. I still try.
I think those that are claiming Trump’s family values are in too deep to be saved. As a general rule I like Trump – for his policies, not for what he says or his past histories.
Unlike Bill Clinton, Trump didnt need a working group on bimbo eruptions – had some strippers or bunnies come out of the wood work claiming affairs – Trump would have just shrugged it off – as would many of his followers, as these things have been known about Trump for 30 years. Add a few more names to the list, and move on.
This is why the founder’s wanted checks on power, so that an immoral man could hold the office, but would be forced to do the good acts. I hope thats what Trump is – the immoral man doing good acts.
Some would say he’s just a hound dog, but others might see him as a good family man only because they see the obvious affection he has for his children as well as grandchildren and the regard they, in turn, have for him. They don’t just take their trust funds and stay at home in their mansions as I have seen with a few of my friends’ children; they like to hang out with him. Amazing. Even his ex-wives don’t say bad things about him, and that’s really a rarity.
I have never heard anyone describe Trump as a good family man; I have heard people say that the way his kids have turned out speaks well of him, ie, in spite of his failings, he must be doing something right, to have such well adjusted kids.
Trump seems to be a terrible husband but a good father. This is possible: I have seen it in my own life. I was blessed with a father who was both a wonderful husband and a wonderful father, but a man who was very close to our family when I was growing up could be fairly described as a terrible husband-at least to his first wife, he was wonderful to his second wife- and a great father; he had many children and a couple of step children, they all turned out golden and they all adore him. My parents have always been very conservative, but they raised me to respect and honor this man, and I do: he has since passed, but was a wonderful influence in my life. I love him and miss him very much. My father has always indisputably been a good family man, but if I had ever criticized this man, my Dad would have slapped me.
Life is complicated.
This statement was made on Ricochet fairly recently, and is the primary reason for this post:
“I think he is, as well, a great person. He’s a good family man, a paterfamilias, a successful businessman, maybe a bit oversexed, but America used to love that.”
I certainly do not mean to say all supporters believe this, or even most. But one certainly does.
Awe, thanks!
I must ask what has Trump done since he has been in office that would make one say he is not a good family man?
My view of marriage is of the Christian variety. If what you are saying is true, then I might also have something to say about his wives, from a moral perspective.
Sometimes the wife of a philanderer won’t speak against him because it would hurt her children.
A father’s first duty is to love his children’s mother, in my opinion. He may dote over his kids and grandkids, but one’s inability to “keep it in his pants” detracts from one’s status as a “good family man.”
I wasn’t referring to that. I was referring to the notion that Trump’s marriages were purely transactional. Which, by the way, is Mitchell’s point, not mine.
And the the great majority of people in this world agree with you.
Especially if the wife or ex-wife signed an NDA and/or was paid off.
No. He didn’t need a whole team. He had one guy who took care of that. A sleazy lawyer who couldn’t get work doing anything else.
Risking once again that idiotic charge with a silly word (and yes, I know, I have used this before) but, whatever Mr. Trump is, at least he is not this:
I can’t say whether he’s a good family man or not. As others have noted, his kids appear to be well-adjusted, productive citizens, and his past wives speak well of him. There’s no way for the general public to know what his family dynamic is, at least without someone talking.
What I’m prepared to concede is that he may have changed. Three years ago, I would have said there’s no way a man with his history as a Democrat could govern as a conservative. But he has, and by some people’s accounting, more conservatively than Reagan.
That’s enough for me.
I’m starting to wonder, when I see the illegitimacy rate going up and up and up…
Have all his marriages been transnational? Or do we just have some typo gremlins afoot? ;-)
A good man? Based on… what?
We’re talking about a man who cheats on wives and cheats business partners. A man who lies constantly and has no regard for the truth. A man who had an affair with a porn Star while his wife was at home with his newborn son.
No. Not a good man.
A good man at least tries to do good. When he fails, he learns from it and tries not to do it again.
That is the opposite of Donald Trump. He does whatever he can get away with and then pays people off or sues them if they don’t appreciate it.
No. Not a good man. Not a good heart.
Clinton hid his affairs, hence the need to destroy the reputations of his accusers (which Hillary was a party to). With a few exceptions – Stormy Daniels and the Playboy bunny – Trump seems to have been very public with his affairs. This must have been rather humiliating for the wife at the time, but I think it has had the effect that people are sort of used to his behavior and accept it more easily.
One might argue that at least Clinton knew it was wrong.
I wouldn’t, though. Clinton was a lifelong politician during a time when his indiscretions should have taken him down. Trump was a business man who didn’t have to win millions of votes until after his indiscretions were (mostly) public knowledge.
I concede the point on politics. I maintain my view: good family men don’t cheat on their kid’s mothers.
I entirely agree that Trump certainly wasn’t a good family man as recently as shortly after Barron’s birth. In the present, I just don’t think we bystanders have enough information to say.
I agree. I have seen no recent evidence of this in Trump’s case.