(Mis)understood Words

 

Have you ever heard a word used by someone who clearly didn’t understand it? Sometimes, it is the pronunciation (corpseman, obgynie), sometimes it’s totally the wrong word. And sometimes, the wrong word almost makes sense — those are my favorites.

One of my first examples was in the 6th grade when the teacher was explaining the circulatory system. He kept talking about the “Red Blood Corpsuckles.” I was in my wanting-to-be-a-doctor phase, was pretty sure that was not right, and did my best to correct him. (I’m still in my obnoxious-kid stage.)

My first boss in “the real world” was taking a weekly Dale Carnegie self-improvement course when I first started working for him. I could always tell what the lesson for the week was. For example, in the “get to know your coworkers” week, he took me to lunch. During “improve your vocabulary” week, he told me he was being “undulated” by paperwork. I thought the visual image was actually pretty good.

A co-worker used to talk about getting “to the crust” of the matter and sometimes, he would argue that an item was a “mute” point. In both cases, the wrong word sort of made sense.

At the same company, a line supervisor used to talk about someone coming up with a “good ideal.” I think she was the same one that one that once referred to the roots of her hair as “hair fossils.”

It is pretty common for one of our dogs to figure out what we are about to do before we even talk about it. At one of these times, my wife turned to me and said: “He must have ESPN.”

Sometimes, I worry that I am guilty of this mistake at times. I’ve always heard “it’s time to go to the mat” with respect to fighting a particular issue. That made sense to me; I was a wrestler in high hchool and “going to the mat” had a specific meaning. In the last two weeks, I’ve heard the phrase “go to the mattress” at least three times. I am no longer sure which is correct.

What about you — have you come across any of these? I’m particularly interested in the ones where the wrong word almost makes sense.

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  1. philo Member
    philo
    @philo

    I attend a monthly lecture where the emcee transitions from his opening announcements to the introduction of the speaker with a very clearly enunciated, “Now, without further to-do. …” every single time. It gets a giggle out of me but, after about seven years of it, his delivery is so straight and dry that I still have no idea if he is doing in on purpose or not.

    • #61
  2. Suspira Member
    Suspira
    @Suspira

    Midget Faded Rattlesnake (View Comment):
    Antipodes is not pronounced anti-poads.

    My computer dictionary says it is pronounced anti-poads. Just looked it up in my OED. It agrees.

    • #62
  3. Blue State Blues Member
    Blue State Blues
    @BlueStateBlues

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Leicester is another one. You can tell how much people know about the geography by the way they pronounce the names. Another is my hometown: Joliet.

    I say Joe-Lee-et, not Jolly-et.  Is that correct?

    • #63
  4. AltarGirl Member
    AltarGirl
    @CM

    Blue State Blues (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Leicester is another one. You can tell how much people know about the geography by the way they pronounce the names. Another is my hometown: Joliet.

    I say Joe-Lee-et, not Jolly-et. Is that correct?

    I was going to go for a jzho-lee-ay…

    At least I can say Lie-chester.

    • #64
  5. zandertunz Member
    zandertunz
    @zandertunz

    I worked for my father in law for many years. He owned a number of companies and was an extremely good businessman. He was very street savvy, but not particularly refined or articulate.  One business he purchased and owned was a manufacturing plant in Detroit. It did work internationally, which occasionally brought clients and visitors in from near and far.  The company had a long history and kept records going back decades. I was summoned to his office more than once and instructed to do research for a visiting client. “Alexander,” he would say, “we need to get this fine gentleman some historical information on a previous order. Go upstairs and search the argyles for what we have.” 

    • #65
  6. barbara lydick Inactive
    barbara lydick
    @barbaralydick

    Major Major Major Major (View Comment):
    “Going to the matresses” is from Mario Puzo’s The Godfather, and refers to all out gang warfare. The tactic is for a gang’s soldiers tor ent an apartment and put a number of matresses in it to establish a safe house for them to sleep in while the state of war is in effect.

    Thank you, thank you.  I knew it was from The Godfather but never knew the origin – and always thought I was the only one who didn’t know.

    (Also didn’t know until recently that “Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.” was an ad libbed line.)

    • #66
  7. TRibbey Inactive
    TRibbey
    @TRibbey

    Saint Augustine (View Comment):

    Oh, while I’m at it, when I was a kid I used to wonder about “row versus wade.”

    Ah, but did you that Knowledge is Power – France is Bacon?

    EJHill (View Comment):
    “Mondegreens,” so named by writer Sylvia Wright (1917-1981) about the misheard lyrics in a Scottish ballad. William Safire wrote a great piece about children doing that with predictable results:

    When I was little I thought Queen’s “We Will Rock You” went:

    “You got blood on your face, you big disgrace, waving your bladder all over the place”

    • #67
  8. Judge Mental Member
    Judge Mental
    @JudgeMental

    TRibbey (View Comment):

    Saint Augustine (View Comment):

    Oh, while I’m at it, when I was a kid I used to wonder about “row versus wade.”

    Ah, but did you that Knowledge is Power – France is Bacon?

    EJHill (View Comment):
    “Mondegreens,” so named by writer Sylvia Wright (1917-1981) about the misheard lyrics in a Scottish ballad. William Safire wrote a great piece about children doing that with predictable results:

    When I was little I thought Queen’s “We Will Rock You” went:

    “You got blood on your face, you big disgrace, waving your bladder all over the place”

    That is disgraceful.

    • #68
  9. barbara lydick Inactive
    barbara lydick
    @barbaralydick

    Arahant (View Comment):
    Leicester is another one. You can tell how much people know about the geography by the way they pronounce the names. Another is my hometown: Joliet.

    Houston – New York = Houseton

    Houston – Texas = Houston

    BTW, it took me until my Jr year in college to correctly pronounce microscopy, stumbling  over it every time I tried.  And I was a chem major

    • #69
  10. RightAngles Member
    RightAngles
    @RightAngles

    I collect these.  Warning: Do not read if you despair for Mankind:

    ………………………………………………….

    ……………………………………………

    …………………………………………..

    • #70
  11. RightAngles Member
    RightAngles
    @RightAngles

    I can’t stand it when people add a syllable to “mischievous”  and pronounce it “mischiev-i – ous.” I mean how do you look at that word and say it that way?

    • #71
  12. Matt Balzer Member
    Matt Balzer
    @MattBalzer

    RightAngles (View Comment):

    I can’t stand it when people add a syllable to “mischievous” and pronounce it “mischiev-i – ous.” I mean how do you look at that word and say it that way?

    You probably need to be British.

    • #72
  13. RightAngles Member
    RightAngles
    @RightAngles

    Matt Balzer (View Comment):

    RightAngles (View Comment):

    I can’t stand it when people add a syllable to “mischievous” and pronounce it “mischiev-i – ous.” I mean how do you look at that word and say it that way?

    You probably need to be British.

    The proper pronunciation is not British!  Don’t tell me you say “mischievious”

    • #73
  14. Judge Mental Member
    Judge Mental
    @JudgeMental

    Matt Balzer (View Comment):

    RightAngles (View Comment):

    I can’t stand it when people add a syllable to “mischievous” and pronounce it “mischiev-i – ous.” I mean how do you look at that word and say it that way?

    You probably need to be British.

    Like a-lu-min-eeeee-um.

    • #74
  15. Matt Balzer Member
    Matt Balzer
    @MattBalzer

    RightAngles (View Comment):

    Matt Balzer (View Comment):

    RightAngles (View Comment):

    I can’t stand it when people add a syllable to “mischievous” and pronounce it “mischiev-i – ous.” I mean how do you look at that word and say it that way?

    You probably need to be British.

    The proper pronunciation is not British! Don’t tell me you say “mischievious”

    No, but if they’re going to add an extra ‘i’ to aluminum I can’t see why they wouldn’t pronounce mischievous with four syllables.

    I’m reminded of a time when I used the word subterfuge in conversation, and someone else said it was pronounced with a silent b, like subtle. Later on I happened to look it up, and it turns out I had been pronouncing it right originally.

    • #75
  16. Judge Mental Member
    Judge Mental
    @JudgeMental

    Matt Balzer (View Comment):

    RightAngles (View Comment):

    Matt Balzer (View Comment):

    RightAngles (View Comment):

    I can’t stand it when people add a syllable to “mischievous” and pronounce it “mischiev-i – ous.” I mean how do you look at that word and say it that way?

    You probably need to be British.

    The proper pronunciation is not British! Don’t tell me you say “mischievious”

    No, but if they’re going to add an extra ‘i’ to aluminum I can’t see why they wouldn’t pronounce mischievous with four syllables.

    I’m reminded of a time when I used the word subterfuge in conversation, and someone else said it was pronounced with a silent b, like subtle. Later on I happened to look it up, and it turns out I had been pronouncing it right originally.

    We had a German guy in the office once, who always pronounced the ‘b’ in debt.  We avoided pointing it out because it was hilarious.  Try it…

    • #76
  17. TRibbey Inactive
    TRibbey
    @TRibbey

    barbara lydick (View Comment):

    Houston – New York = Houseton

    Houston – Texas = Houston

    Ooh, yes. Madrid, Spain = Muhdrid. Madrid, Iowa = Mahdrid.

    • #77
  18. Judge Mental Member
    Judge Mental
    @JudgeMental

    TRibbey (View Comment):

    barbara lydick (View Comment):

    Houston – New York = Houseton

    Houston – Texas = Houston

    Ooh, yes. Madrid, Spain = Muhdrid. Madrid, Iowa = Mahdrid.

    Lima, Ohio is pronounced like the bean.

    • #78
  19. RightAngles Member
    RightAngles
    @RightAngles

    Matt Balzer (View Comment):

    RightAngles (View Comment):

    Matt Balzer (View Comment):

    RightAngles (View Comment):

    I can’t stand it when people add a syllable to “mischievous” and pronounce it “mischiev-i – ous.” I mean how do you look at that word and say it that way?

    You probably need to be British.

    The proper pronunciation is not British! Don’t tell me you say “mischievious”

    No, but if they’re going to add an extra ‘i’ to aluminum I can’t see why they wouldn’t pronounce mischievous with four syllables.

    I’m reminded of a time when I used the word subterfuge in conversation, and someone else said it was pronounced with a silent b, like subtle. Later on I happened to look it up, and it turns out I had been pronouncing it right originally.

    OH I thought you were saying something else. They also can’t say “Jaguar.”

    • #79
  20. RightAngles Member
    RightAngles
    @RightAngles

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    TRibbey (View Comment):

    barbara lydick (View Comment):

    Houston – New York = Houseton

    Houston – Texas = Houston

    Ooh, yes. Madrid, Spain = Muhdrid. Madrid, Iowa = Mahdrid.

    Lima, Ohio is pronounced like the bean.

    Cairo, IL is pronounced “Kay-ro.”

    • #80
  21. RightAngles Member
    RightAngles
    @RightAngles

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    Matt Balzer (View Comment):

    RightAngles (View Comment):

    Matt Balzer (View Comment):

    RightAngles (View Comment):

    I can’t stand it when people add a syllable to “mischievous” and pronounce it “mischiev-i – ous.” I mean how do you look at that word and say it that way?

    You probably need to be British.

    The proper pronunciation is not British! Don’t tell me you say “mischievious”

    No, but if they’re going to add an extra ‘i’ to aluminum I can’t see why they wouldn’t pronounce mischievous with four syllables.

    I’m reminded of a time when I used the word subterfuge in conversation, and someone else said it was pronounced with a silent b, like subtle. Later on I happened to look it up, and it turns out I had been pronouncing it right originally.

    We had a German guy in the office once, who always pronounced the ‘b’ in debt. We avoided pointing it out because it was hilarious. Try it…

    Haha! I knew an Austrian who said “Firstable” for “First of all.” (He wrote it that way in letters to me)

    • #81
  22. RightAngles Member
    RightAngles
    @RightAngles

    • #82
  23. JustmeinAZ Member
    JustmeinAZ
    @JustmeinAZ

    People who use the word “penultimate” to mean a higher “ultimate” just annoy me. I guess they think they’re being smart.

    And so many say jew-lery instead of jewel-ry. I know it’s common but it sounds ignorant to me.

    So often I read someone who wants to say “voila!” but writes “viola!” Cracks me up.

    And to tell one on myself – until I was in my 30’s I always read the word “misled” as “mizzled”.  It meant the same thing and I always pronounced it correctly in conversation but it took a long time for the penny to drop.

    • #83
  24. Saint Augustine Member
    Saint Augustine
    @SaintAugustine

    Saint Augustine (View Comment):

    Ya’ll know what this terrible Microsoft Paint work is, right?

    I don’t know how often its name has actually been said on July 4, but I sure like the sound of it.

    It’s a star-bangled spanner, folks.

    • #84
  25. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Blue State Blues (View Comment):
    I say Joe-Lee-et, not Jolly-et. Is that correct?

    Yep.

    • #85
  26. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    AltarGirl (View Comment):
    At least I can say Lie-chester.

    Well, you can, but if you mean Leicester, it’s pronounced “Lester,” sort of like Worcester is “Wooster.” I live very close to Rochester, Michigan, and have some friends who jokingly pronounce it “Rooster.”

    • #86
  27. Cow Girl Thatcher
    Cow Girl
    @CowGirl

    The word facsimile—I said “fas-i-meal”.   I knew what a fax was! But that other word, facsimile came out of my mouth as fasimeal until my dear, newly-wed husband corrected me. 44 years later, I still shudder in shame.

    • #87
  28. Paul Erickson Inactive
    Paul Erickson
    @PaulErickson

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    TRibbey (View Comment):

    barbara lydick (View Comment):

    Houston – New York = Houseton

    Houston – Texas = Houston

    Ooh, yes. Madrid, Spain = Muhdrid. Madrid, Iowa = Mahdrid.

    Lima, Ohio is pronounced like the bean.

    And Bogota, NJ is ba-GO-ta.

    • #88
  29. WillowSpring Member
    WillowSpring
    @WillowSpring

    When my wife was small, she thought the hymn was about

    ”Gladly the cross-eyed bear”

    this has been great.  When I wrote the OP, I thought I might get a couple of replies with examples, but my wife and I have been laughing with each batch.

    • #89
  30. Bob Thompson Member
    Bob Thompson
    @BobThompson

    RightAngles (View Comment):

    I can’t stand it when people add a syllable to “mischievous” and pronounce it “mischiev-i – ous.” I mean how do you look at that word and say it that way?

    And what syllable do you accent? 

    • #90
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