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(Mis)understood Words
Have you ever heard a word used by someone who clearly didn’t understand it? Sometimes, it is the pronunciation (corpseman, obgynie), sometimes it’s totally the wrong word. And sometimes, the wrong word almost makes sense — those are my favorites.
One of my first examples was in the 6th grade when the teacher was explaining the circulatory system. He kept talking about the “Red Blood Corpsuckles.” I was in my wanting-to-be-a-doctor phase, was pretty sure that was not right, and did my best to correct him. (I’m still in my obnoxious-kid stage.)
My first boss in “the real world” was taking a weekly Dale Carnegie self-improvement course when I first started working for him. I could always tell what the lesson for the week was. For example, in the “get to know your coworkers” week, he took me to lunch. During “improve your vocabulary” week, he told me he was being “undulated” by paperwork. I thought the visual image was actually pretty good.
A co-worker used to talk about getting “to the crust” of the matter and sometimes, he would argue that an item was a “mute” point. In both cases, the wrong word sort of made sense.
At the same company, a line supervisor used to talk about someone coming up with a “good ideal.” I think she was the same one that one that once referred to the roots of her hair as “hair fossils.”
It is pretty common for one of our dogs to figure out what we are about to do before we even talk about it. At one of these times, my wife turned to me and said: “He must have ESPN.”
Sometimes, I worry that I am guilty of this mistake at times. I’ve always heard “it’s time to go to the mat” with respect to fighting a particular issue. That made sense to me; I was a wrestler in high hchool and “going to the mat” had a specific meaning. In the last two weeks, I’ve heard the phrase “go to the mattress” at least three times. I am no longer sure which is correct.
What about you — have you come across any of these? I’m particularly interested in the ones where the wrong word almost makes sense.
Published in Group Writing
I attend a monthly lecture where the emcee transitions from his opening announcements to the introduction of the speaker with a very clearly enunciated, “Now, without further to-do. …” every single time. It gets a giggle out of me but, after about seven years of it, his delivery is so straight and dry that I still have no idea if he is doing in on purpose or not.
My computer dictionary says it is pronounced anti-poads. Just looked it up in my OED. It agrees.
I say Joe-Lee-et, not Jolly-et. Is that correct?
I was going to go for a jzho-lee-ay…
At least I can say Lie-chester.
I worked for my father in law for many years. He owned a number of companies and was an extremely good businessman. He was very street savvy, but not particularly refined or articulate. One business he purchased and owned was a manufacturing plant in Detroit. It did work internationally, which occasionally brought clients and visitors in from near and far. The company had a long history and kept records going back decades. I was summoned to his office more than once and instructed to do research for a visiting client. “Alexander,” he would say, “we need to get this fine gentleman some historical information on a previous order. Go upstairs and search the argyles for what we have.”
Thank you, thank you. I knew it was from The Godfather but never knew the origin – and always thought I was the only one who didn’t know.
(Also didn’t know until recently that “Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.” was an ad libbed line.)
Ah, but did you that Knowledge is Power – France is Bacon?
When I was little I thought Queen’s “We Will Rock You” went:
“You got blood on your face, you big disgrace, waving your bladder all over the place”
That is disgraceful.
Houston – New York = Houseton
Houston – Texas = Houston
BTW, it took me until my Jr year in college to correctly pronounce microscopy, stumbling over it every time I tried. And I was a chem major
I collect these. Warning: Do not read if you despair for Mankind:
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I can’t stand it when people add a syllable to “mischievous” and pronounce it “mischiev-i – ous.” I mean how do you look at that word and say it that way?
You probably need to be British.
The proper pronunciation is not British! Don’t tell me you say “mischievious”
Like a-lu-min-eeeee-um.
No, but if they’re going to add an extra ‘i’ to aluminum I can’t see why they wouldn’t pronounce mischievous with four syllables.
I’m reminded of a time when I used the word subterfuge in conversation, and someone else said it was pronounced with a silent b, like subtle. Later on I happened to look it up, and it turns out I had been pronouncing it right originally.
We had a German guy in the office once, who always pronounced the ‘b’ in debt. We avoided pointing it out because it was hilarious. Try it…
Ooh, yes. Madrid, Spain = Muhdrid. Madrid, Iowa = Mahdrid.
Lima, Ohio is pronounced like the bean.
OH I thought you were saying something else. They also can’t say “Jaguar.”
Cairo, IL is pronounced “Kay-ro.”
Haha! I knew an Austrian who said “Firstable” for “First of all.” (He wrote it that way in letters to me)
People who use the word “penultimate” to mean a higher “ultimate” just annoy me. I guess they think they’re being smart.
And so many say jew-lery instead of jewel-ry. I know it’s common but it sounds ignorant to me.
So often I read someone who wants to say “voila!” but writes “viola!” Cracks me up.
And to tell one on myself – until I was in my 30’s I always read the word “misled” as “mizzled”. It meant the same thing and I always pronounced it correctly in conversation but it took a long time for the penny to drop.
It’s a star-bangled spanner, folks.
Yep.
Well, you can, but if you mean Leicester, it’s pronounced “Lester,” sort of like Worcester is “Wooster.” I live very close to Rochester, Michigan, and have some friends who jokingly pronounce it “Rooster.”
The word facsimile—I said “fas-i-meal”. I knew what a fax was! But that other word, facsimile came out of my mouth as fasimeal until my dear, newly-wed husband corrected me. 44 years later, I still shudder in shame.
And Bogota, NJ is ba-GO-ta.
When my wife was small, she thought the hymn was about
”Gladly the cross-eyed bear”
this has been great. When I wrote the OP, I thought I might get a couple of replies with examples, but my wife and I have been laughing with each batch.
And what syllable do you accent?