Who Wants to Help Write a Dentistry Musical?

 

I had my semi-annual dental cleaning a couple of days ago, and as I spoke with my hygienist and dentist, I thought of something the dental profession needs: Good PR. Not just good PR, but flashy good PR, and what better PR is there than a good musical? I mean look what Kiss Me, Kate! did for touring actors or Lend Me a Tenor did for opera singers or what A Chorus Line did for Broadway performers or what The Greatest Showman did for circus hucksters or La La Land did for Hollywood performers or what The Blues Brothers did for blues bands or…um…what the “Poor Judd is Dead” song did for Harvey Weinstein types in Oklahoma. (All of the sudden, I’m realizing how self-focused that this whole business is.)

Anyway, the point is, that a good musical could be great PR for dentistry. When we currently think of musicals and dentistry, what currently comes to mind? You immediately thought of Little Shop of Horrors, didn’t you? First, the dentist is only a peripheral character in that musical, and even more so in the original movie the musical is based on. Second, this character is not good PR for dentistry, not by a long shot. No, we need something much better, much more positive.

Some of the scenes I am imagining go like this:

  • A full-on Busby Berkeley-style song-and-dance number involving dental hygienists singing a song that might have words or a chorus that might include:Brush, Brush, Brush your teeth,
    And floss them every day.
    Brush, Brush, Brush your teeth,
    And wipe the plaque away…
  • In the dance number, it might involve a chorus line dressed as teeth with the hygienists pulling pristine white silk ropes between them for the “Floss” part.
  • Of course, there has to be a dramatic love song, so why not something that starts:I love…my teeth…In…my mouth
    And I want to keep them that waaaaaayyyy!
  • There could be a song or dance number highlighting some of the nifty new technologies, or perhaps a number for each. For instance, the 3-D X-Ray machine, or the 3-D printers for creating polymer or glass fillings or crowns that are made while you wait.
  • And the comedic relief character, a vampire looking for a good all-night dental clinic.

The main thing is to make the dentist’s office a less scary place for people. Instead of feeling anxiety, let’s have them go into the dentist’s office smiling and humming catchy tunes. Use your imagination. Who is in, and what have you got?

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  1. Bishop Wash Member
    Bishop Wash
    @BishopWash

    Arahant: Anyway, the point is, that a good musical could be great PR for dentistry. When we currently think of musicals and dentistry, what currently comes to mind? You immediately thought of Little Shop of Horrors, didn’t you? First, the dentist is only a peripheral character in that musical, and even more so in the original movie the musical is based on. Second, this character is not good PR for dentistry, not by a long shot. No, we need something much better, much more positive.

    I did think of Steve Martin and Bill Murray. I also thought of Seinfeld. One doesn’t want to be accused of being a rabid anti-dentite.

    • #1
  2. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Thursday is a little early to be departing controlled flight, even for you.

    • #2
  3. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    This conversation is part of our Group Writing Series under June’s theme of Now That’s Imagination! If you have some imaginative ideas to share or perhaps that you would like help with, why not pick a day and share them with us? Have a short story that wants to burst forth onto the Internet in all its pixelated glory? Pick a date! Never started a conversation on Ricochet before? This is your chance.

    Afraid of what I might come up with if I have to fill in tomorrow’s slot? Necessity is the mother of invention. You’ll come up with something. Just sign up today! (It’s true, I am not above threats.)

    • #3
  4. Clifford A. Brown Contributor
    Clifford A. Brown
    @CliffordBrown

    • #4
  5. DrewInWisconsin Member
    DrewInWisconsin
    @DrewInWisconsin

    They could just adapt some Ipana commercials for the stage:

    • #5
  6. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Percival (View Comment):

    Thursday is a little early to be departing controlled flight, even for you.

    And I really thought this up on Tuesday.

    • #6
  7. DrewInWisconsin Member
    DrewInWisconsin
    @DrewInWisconsin

    Arahant: The main thing is to make the dentist’s office a less scary place for people. Instead of feeling anxiety, let’s have them go into the dentist’s office smiling and humming catchy tunes. Use your imagination. Who is in, and what have you got?

    My dentist always sings “Crown Him With Many Crowns” when I come in for my check-ups.

    Somehow this doesn’t make me feel less anxiety.

    • #7
  8. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Also, we have ten openings still in the month. You all really should fear what I might come up with next. You can come up with something imaginative, yet saner, than the things I might come up with. Best to prevent me, really.

    • #8
  9. Patrick McClure Coolidge
    Patrick McClure
    @Patrickb63

    No one needs a dental musical.  Weirdos like you used to be carefully watched by HUAC.  Oh for the halcyon days of the 50’s.

    • #9
  10. Joe Pas Inactive
    Joe Pas
    @JoePas

    • #10
  11. The Reticulator Member
    The Reticulator
    @TheReticulator

    Patrick McClure (View Comment):

    No one needs a dental musical. Weirdos like you used to be carefully watched by HUAC. Oh for the halcyon days of the 50’s.

    Later when I’m at my computer I’ll post a link to the dentists’ song and dance routine in the Russian film,  Election Day. 

    • #11
  12. Misthiocracy, Joke Pending Member
    Misthiocracy, Joke Pending
    @Misthiocracy

    Dang, I wanted to post the video from Little Shop Of Horrors.

    • #12
  13. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Patrick McClure (View Comment):

    No one needs a dental musical. Weirdos like you used to be carefully watched by HUAC. Oh for the halcyon days of the 50’s.

    This going to be a great thread. The best thread.

    • #13
  14. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Arahant: Anyway, the point is, that a good musical could be great PR for dentistry.

    It’s clear the gas had not worn off when you posted this . . .

    • #14
  15. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Misthiocracy, Joke Pending (View Comment):

    Dang, I wanted to post the video from Little Shop Of Horrors.

    You could always post from Roger Corman’s film.

    • #15
  16. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Stad (View Comment):
    It’s clear the gas had not worn off when you posted this . . .

    It was just X-rays and a cleaning, no gas involved. Now, here’s the really fun part. Because of allergic reactions, I don’t trust anesthetics. My mother has nearly died twice at dentists’ offices because of her allergies. So, I have had two cavities filled in the past without anesthetics.

    • #16
  17. Mark Camp Member
    Mark Camp
    @MarkCamp

    Arahant (View Comment):
    Also, we have ten openings still in the month.

    Ten openings?  We really need some fillings.

    • #17
  18. Matt Balzer Member
    Matt Balzer
    @MattBalzer

    Arahant: The main thing is to make the dentist’s office a less scary place for people.

    I don’t see how this is expected to help with that goal.

    • #18
  19. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Matt Balzer (View Comment):

    Arahant: The main thing is to make the dentist’s office a less scary place for people.

    I don’t see how this is expected to help with that goal.

    We can but try.

    • #19
  20. Columbo Member
    Columbo
    @Columbo

    That reminds me of a song by a ‘dentist’ ….

     

    • #20
  21. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    @user_19450, @kelsurprise? Want to get in on the fun?

    • #21
  22. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Columbo (View Comment):
    That reminds me of a song by a ‘dentist’ ….

    Of course, there is always this song about “Painless” the dentist from MASH:

    • #22
  23. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):
    It’s clear the gas had not worn off when you posted this . . .

    So, I have had two cavities filled in the past without anesthetics.

    I guess you’ll be a stunt double in Marathon Man 2 . . .

    • #23
  24. Misthiocracy, Joke Pending Member
    Misthiocracy, Joke Pending
    @Misthiocracy

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Misthiocracy, Joke Pending (View Comment):

    Dang, I wanted to post the video from Little Shop Of Horrors.

    You could always post from Roger Corman’s film.

    Not enough musical numbers.

    • #24
  25. GLDIII Reagan
    GLDIII
    @GLDIII

    Think Herbie!

    Dentist check, Musical check, Sappy endearing children’s touchstone flashback, check, check, and check.

    Your all set Arahant.

    • #25
  26. Hang On Member
    Hang On
    @HangOn

    My favorite dentist movie is the W.C. Fields short The Dentist. It was banned. If you watch it, you might understand why.

    One of the songs would have to be drills at different pitches.

    • #26
  27. Hang On Member
    Hang On
    @HangOn

    And while it’s not entire movie, a Pink Panther scene is my second favorite dentist scene.

    And there’s Alan Arkin playing Shelley Kornpett in the In Laws. He was funny.

    • #27
  28. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Hang On (View Comment):

    And while it’s not entire movie, a Pink Panther scene is my second favorite dentist scene.

    And that is just what dentists don’t need.

    • #28
  29. Hang On Member
    Hang On
    @HangOn

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Hang On (View Comment):

    And while it’s not entire movie, a Pink Panther scene is my second favorite dentist scene.

    And that is just what dentists don’t need.

    Yeah, but it’s still funny.

    • #29
  30. Michael Brehm Coolidge
    Michael Brehm
    @MichaelBrehm

    What’s there not to like about the dentist from Little Shop of Horrors? He loves his momma, and he seems fun to be around.

    • #30

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