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You must’ve left before ex-Virginia governor and Clinton bagman Terry McAwful began lobbying for the execution to be held in his state because it’s just “a hop, skip, and a jump,” and still uses “Ol’ Sparky” (better than “some needle,” according to McAwful).
Are members of Mensa called Menses? And are they feckless?
I just read this to my husband, who hasn’t let me read anything to him in 50 years, and he is laughing so hard he isn’t yelling at me for reading to him.
Love it!
Your best yet. I’ll send it out to one and all.
All together now ….. I’m MichaelHenry the 8th I am …..
Bring back public executions! Then when all of “them” are gathered together, (because you know all of “them” will attend)……..give them award certificates? Right? Right?
The backhand slap was my favorite.
Yes, Rosenstein the rat gets treated the way he should. I wish Trump would fire him — even if he doesn’t slap him.
He certainly can’t take one on the chin.
I just know the females are called Womenses.
BTW, Michael, Art Buchwald had quite a career in syndication writing stuff like this, only not as funny. You may have been born too late, but we’re the better for it.
Hmm.
This goofball is up there with the bigs. Funnier than Buchwald? Yes. I may be getting carried away here but I’ll say it anyway: I remember laughing this much at Thurber, Erma Bombeck, and maybe the early Dave Barry. That sort.
And I agree with Larry K. that this is his best ever. I’m not one to laugh out loud at a sentence very often. This one, I just never stopped.
(Hope MH isn’t not reading this. If you are, I sincerely meant every single word of the word “goofball”. I deny saying anything after that, except of course this.)
You are the Master! ALL HAIL!
Algonquin’s kid?
I re-read this to my wife on my cell phone and had a hard time finishing because of the tears of laughter.
This is hysterical, Michael! Thank you for the Sunday giggle. I loved it!
Grandson of Algonquin J.
Listen, and understand. That
terminatorSpecial Counsel is out there. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.I’m feeling old.
Basil, please explain this so I don’t have to go look it up. I’m intrigued.
(And yes, you do seem old — what we call a duffer.)
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johnny_Lee_(actor)
Thanks.
Fascinating.
Excellent! Good to see you posting again. Don’t stay away so long next time. Thanks for the laughs we need more of them around here.
My favorite line.
Mine, too.
And it was such a good line that I didn’t feel like spoiling it by pointing out that the Russians’ relationship with the Cossacks is “complicated.” (That was yesterday. Today is today.)