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The Princess Goes to Bootcamp
Husband and daughter; USMC vet and USAF Airman.
I come from a patriotic family. We stand and honor our flag, recite the pledge, sing the anthem at sporting events, love July 4th and appreciate those who have served in the military. However, the “Greatest Generation” was the last military service in our own family and they have now passed on. (Well, my husband served in the infantry in the USMC, but his service was well before I met him so I did not experience that sacrifice with him). In the four generations since WW2, no one in my own family has committed to military service of any kind. Until this year.
My daughter finished high school a couple of years ago and she had the near-perfect high school experience — an honor student and magna cum laude grad, homecoming court, student council, dance line, tons of friends, etc. We jokingly referred to her as “The Princess.” As expected, she went on to college where, not as expected, she floundered … too much unstructured time, too much interest from the wrong young men, too many parties, not enough devotion to study and classes. My mostly responsible high schooler seemed to have lost her mind! After a couple of semesters, my husband and I told her she was done and welcomed her back home and to full-on adulting: Full-time job, car insurance, cell phone bill, new tires expense, etc. She seemed lost and viewed herself as a failure compared to her high school peers who were progressing through college. She and I did a mom/daughter book club and read Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules book. She got back involved in the church through a young adult group. But she continued to struggle. She confessed that she felt purposeless.
Then, out of the blue, she made an appointment with an Air Force recruiter and decided she wanted to enlist. I was shocked but supportive. My husband had enlisted in the USMC after his own failed first college attempt and was very supportive. However, the parents of my daughter’s friends were generally not supportive. This was surprising to me. As word got around, many moms spoke to me about my daughter’s enlistment in the hushed tones I imagine are normally saved for confirmed cases of Ebola. Many moms asked me if I was upset or had tried to talk her out of enlisting. (Of course, these Debbie-downers were all politely disregarded.)
The Princess left for boot camp less than 60 days after she first met with a recruiter. She has now finished boot camp (or Basic Military Training, as they call it) where her nickname was GI Barbie or just “Malibu” — a shortened version of Malibu Barbie. She is now off to Tech School. I understand that her job will be radar operations/tracking missiles in the air as part of a flight crew. She is thriving again. She has scored a “win” for herself and she will be serving all of us.
Military holidays just got a lot more personal.
Published in Military
Hat tip to “Malibu,” congratulations Airman. I’m glad she’s found a place to thrive, and congrats to you parents!
What a fabulous story. Thank you for sharing.
May the good Lord bless all our serving military and their families especially!
Great Story!
We have friends who had a rather aimless high schooler like many teenagers these days, who did some lifeguarding stints during summer, which got him to thinking about becoming a Navy Seal. With nothing better to do after high school, he joined up, and while he may not make it as a Seal, what a difference it has made in his life! Where he was once aimless and often non-responsive, now he is a confident young man who really has his head on straight, ready, willing and able to go places.
Now she can actually fly again. Wow.
I examine military recruits in Phoenix. A month or two ago, I interviewed a young man and his story might interest you and your daughter. He enlisted in the Air Force and served his enlistment as an avionics tech. When he finished, he enrolled in the U of Alaska, Fairbanks, and, when I met him, he had graduated with a BS in Electrical Engineering. He was going back in, now to OCS and planned to apply for pilot training.
Just a thought. There would be no better place to study that U of A Fairbanks. My partner in practice’s son did his college at UC, Davis and he said that was what probably got him into medical school as there was nothing else to do but study.
God bless your daughter, I have a 17 year old who is rather aimless but smart and I would love to see her go military. Had not thought of the Air Force. Good luck to Malibu.
My daughter did nothing but gush about the positive experience of boot camp when we saw her at graduation at Lackland AFB in San Antonio. The first three weeks are challenging (lots of yelling), but she found her groove, had a flight of girls that worked together and she couldn’t say enough positive about her drill instructors. (well, except for that one…) She was actually selected as a unit leader on day two and held the job until almost the end, where an improperly folded duffel bag got her fired in week 7. Her recruiter was great too. As a parent, I have no quibbles, large or small, with the USAF experience so far.
Today is Memorial Day, so I understand your friends’ concerns. What they don’t understand, however, is the need for the young to test their mettle (one of Jordan’s rules, I believe). The military is the ultimate test, isn’t it? I applaud all of the young people who take that brave step and the parents who support them.
What a lovely story and congrats to your daughter! Much continued success!
BTW I know the original model for Malibu Barbie and your daughter is well nick-named!
You tell “Malibu” way to go and that we are proud of her.
Very Cool! I wish the “Malibu” in your life joy in her legacy!
Best of luck to her! I finished basic at Lackland in May of 1971 and then got a free bus ride to Wichita Falls, Texas up in the panhandle to attend tech school at Shepperd AFB. I was selected for accounting (!) and they were giving classes around the clock. I had the midnight to 6:00 am class. That was a weird time to go to school.
Yeah! Our son is currently in the AF, but he came in via ROTC at college.
The very bright son of a friend of mine flunked out of college because he kept losing focus. He enlisted in the Navy, and thrived (he ended up as a nuclear operator). He said the military tech school had a structure that made it easier for him to stay focused.
Good girl, Malibu!
Interestingly, I know a young man with Bipolar whose psychiatrist credits his military experience (no combat deployments, significantly!) with giving him the structure and disciplined habits that help control the illness.
A contrast, perhaps, to the Ivy League schools where students are deliberately inculcated with the habits of mind (paranoia, catastrophizing, excessive focus on feelings, etc.) that foster depression and anxiety.
A salute to The Princess!
Good. She’ll cherish what she’s going to learn forever.
I got one, sorta/kinda same circumstances that I’m thinking will soon walk the same path.
Yes, cattle prods and such are still allowed in the military, I believe.
Congratulations to her, and to you and your husband as well. The first thing you learn in basic training is that the DI will not be asking you for your input on the plan of the day. As you learn to sort things out remaining anonymous for all the right reasons is a good thing. You find out that you can meet the standards if you pay attention, and execute the commands. Even though your day is structured you will be reminded that mom and dad did not make the trip to basic training along with you. College is early retirement, the military demands performance, and they know you have the potential to meet their expectations.
I followed a somewhat similar path, dropping out of college, floundering for a few months and then enlisted in the army and, on a whim, volunteered for the airborne.
Basic was relatively easy, but jump school made me dig down deep and find what I was really capable of. By the time my enlistment was up, I decided going to class and studying was a heck of lot easier than jumping out of planes in the middle of the night, so I went back finished my electrical engineering degree and went on to get an MBA.
I’ve often said the military saved my life, and I’m sure it will for your daughter too.
Good for Malibu!
Good for you! My husband had a similar experience. He partied his way out of college and drifted for about a year. He then decided he needed structure and discipline in his life and decided to join the military (he says he knew he didn’t have the grit to do for himself what he knew was needed). He asked around “What is the toughest branch?” Answer told to him: Marine Corps. “What is the toughest MOS (job)?” Answer: Infantry. He completed a 4 year stint (after Desert Shield, but before Desert Storm) and when he got out, he finished a 4 year degree in 2 years with a 4.0 and went to law school. He’s now a VA certified attorney and helps tons of vets in our community. Fingers crossed that my daughter finds similar “grit” through her military service as the two of you did!
Rah, Malibu: Fair winds and clear skies: Prayers!
Welcome to the ranks of blue star parents! In Fall 2010 my son left college in his third semester to join the Air Force. In Spring 2011 we attended his graduation from Basic Military Training at Lackland AFB near San Antonio. The picture you include looks like it was taken there (I trust you also visited the Alamo and the Riverwalk after the graduation). In the event my son met the woman who became his wife during advanced training (I recently became a grandfather). They both became noncommissioned officers, both re-enlisted after completing six-year hitches, and have both attained the rank of E6 (Technical Sergeant). I see that you daughter qualified for flight duty (my son did but my daughter in law could not pass the eye test for it). Once your daughter gets her clearances she will instruct you about the euphemisms to use in the description of her specialty to members of the general public. My son told me, for example, that I am allowed to give his rank and to say that his is a “radio operator on one-thirty-fives” but no more, preferably not even the home base where he is stationed. When your daughter comes home with her first Air Medal (twenty combat missions) you will be tempted to ask whether she was ever shot at. Expect circumlocutions. What will decide the question is whether her ribbon rack includes a Air Force Expeditionary Service Ribbon with a gold border. Eligibility for the latter corresponds to receipt of hostile fire pay. As a member of the immediate family of a person serving in one of the uniformed services during a time of war you are now entitled to fly a Service Flag (or to display the corresponding window decal or wear the corresponding lapel pin). I recommend that you wear the lapel pin and be able to explain the meaning of the color scheme to people who ask what the pin signifies (red border with white field and blue star means family member currently serving, red border with blue field and white star means veteran, and red border with white field and gold star means not coming back). I have never seen anyone wearing a gold star lapel pin but one woman identified herself to me as a gold star mom after she had seen my pin and verified that I knew what it meant.
Congratulations for all of you, for such a promising resolution to the quandary. I salute your family’s bravery: your daughter’s for taking a huge step into the unknown, and yours and your husband’s for supporting her choice, despite the hazards. In your shoes I think I’d feel scared and proud in equal measure. God bless you all and keep you safe.
My eldest daughter followed pretty much the same course. She finished high school with no idea what she would do or how she would do it. She moved into an apartment and for three months she did little more than work at a grocery store and run around with a nice but equally unmotivated young man. Then, out of the blue, she called to tell us she’d joined the Navy. When we drove her to the embarking station she was quiet and we wondered if she would go though with it. The next day she hugged us, turned around, walked in to take the oath, hopped a plane to Chicago, and headed to the Great Lakes Training Center. She called my office the next day and my secretary buzzed me to say my daughter was on the line. I figured it was of my other two daughters, but it was my recruit. I answered and heard orders being shouted as she blurted out “Dad, I’m here, I love you. Gotta go” (words I’ll never forget).
She served for six years, including as a relief worker at the Pentagon after 9/11 and in Great Britain (which allowed her to visit much of Europe, a special benefit)..
She is now a mother, a wife, is a thesis away from an MA in philosophical theology, writes a weekly feature for Catholic Exchange, has been interviewed several times on Catholic radio shows, and has been asked to write a book.
I don’t mean to brag (well, a bit) but to encourage your daughter. The military instills a strong sense of duty, honor, dedication, teamwork, friendship, and grit. I was 4F when I tried to join the Marine Corps in 1975, so I am not an expert. But from my dad, to my father-in-law, to my daughter, to three nephews who served as Marines in Iraq and Afghanistan, serving ones country in the worst of times changes a person.For the better.
(I get the feeling she might need to dress down with the makeup and hair, if possible, or some of the guys might not be able to concentrate and get any work done.)
Best of luck.
Oh, go ahead – and the rest of you, too. The public should hear and read more of these stories.
I usually advise Air Force or Coast Guard for what it’s worth.
All the best to Malibu in her new career.
Oh yea and one more thing, moms (and dads) serve too!
Congratulations
And what she learns will set her up for job opportunities the rest of her life, whether she makes it a 20 year career or not.