Hollywood — Legendary television producer Tom Werner announced this morning that, in light of Bill Cosby’s conviction for sexual assault, they are recasting “The Cosby Show” in an effort to salvage 197 episodes of syndicated programming. Because of advances in digital technology, they are replacing Cosby with the late crooner Bing Crosby.
“First off, it’s just an additional letter. And we’re getting an Academy Award-winning actor,” said Werner, “who looks fantastic in a sweater.”
Asked if it would seem strange to have Crosby surrounded by a wife and children of color, Werner said he saw it as an opportunity to push the concept of non-traditional casting to the next level. “Bing was very progressive when it came to race. We know he contributed to the defense of the Scottsboro Boys, and the things he did on behalf of Louis Armstrong are well documented.”
The only reporter in the room old enough to remember who Bing Crosby was asked if they had considered the unproven child abuse allegations from Bing’s late son, Gary, an impediment. “Oh heck, no. Dr. Huxtable was threatening to kill Theo every other week so we see that as a plus.”
Ricochet Entertainment contacted Phylicia Rashad who played Cosby’s wife, Claire, on what she felt about the new digital recasting. “Oh, baby, he can croon me good night any day of the week!”
In reality, it was announced today that Bill Cosby’s name and bust would be removed from the Television Academy’s Hall of Fame. “All references to Mr. Cosby were removed from the website,” a spokesperson for the Academy told Deadline. It’s no longer enough to acknowledge the faults of others, the Stalinization must begin apace and all traces of the impure and fallen must be erased from history.