I’m Not the Smartest Kid in the Bunch

 

All my life I’ve known people who are lots smarter than I am. They are math geniuses, science masters, literature scholars, and every other kind of brilliant person you can imagine. I can’t help but admire this attribute.

So I realized that although I liked to write, the first time I wrote on Ricochet was very intimidating. All these extremely smart people would be reading what I’d written, picking my post apart in their own minds or haranguing me with comments. Instead, people were actually kind and curious, and it was a wonderful beginning for me. I’ve also made embarrassing mistakes in my posts: I’ve erred on some of my posts on Judaism, and people have been so helpful and forgiving. I’ve had incorrect information in an occasional post that I’m more than happy to correct if people tell me. I even recently had a spelling error in a post title! So I’m not the brightest bulb in the pack. But I can claim to have a modicum of something else, an attribute that is so very precious to me: Wisdom.

My own understanding of Wisdom is that I have reached a time in life where I can say I’ve taken much of what I’ve learned and made an effort to integrate it into an understanding of how the world works. Wisdom is an attribute that deepens and expands. It calls on my curiosity; there’s always more to learn. I like my ideas to be challenged when I’m not knowledgeable, and even when I am, I try to open to the possibility that my knowledge is incomplete. I think I read people pretty well: I rarely get into conflicts with people, especially on Ricochet, because I’ve come to believe that harsh disagreement with me is only partly due to what I’ve written.

The benefits of wisdom show up in little gems; these gems may be covered with mud or polished to a radiant luster. We don’t always know when something is wisdom, I think, because what we’ve learned finds its way to our body of wisdom all on its own; or Wisdom snatches it up to join its community. One way or another, this gift is absorbed and assimilated to become part of an enriching, deep and profound foundation.

In this chaotic world, Wisdom has taught me to be flexible, even though I love predictability; it’s taught me to build relationships even though I often prefer my own company; I’ve learned that I can overcome or work through adversity and come out stronger on the other side. I know and mostly accept that I have little control over this world, and can only do my best in each situation.

That is what Wisdom has taught me. Thank you, Wisdom.

Here’s a question for you: When you speak or act, how do you know if you are speaking from wisdom and not desire?

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  1. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    I’m here for you, Susan.

    Ricochet’s Idiot on Call.

    • #1
  2. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    You really need to get to the dentist first, @Percival! Good grief!

    • #2
  3. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Susan Quinn: When you speak or act, how do you know if you are speaking from wisdom and not desire?

    Desire is to get that pretty young thing’s attention. 😈 Such is not the course of wisdom. 😁 Wisdom is pretty near all else.


    Actually, another desire is to get all the slots filled on our schedule and sign-up sheet for this month’s Group Writing Series, the theme of which is The Course of Wisdom. Now, y’all get on over there and sign-up.

    • #3
  4. KentForrester Coolidge
    KentForrester
    @KentForrester

    The Left has its wise Latino.  We have our wise Jew.  Everything evens out in the end.

    Kent

    • #4
  5. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Arahant (View Comment):
    Wisdom is pretty near all else.

    Are you just quoting a clever saying, @arahant, or do you believe that? I don’t. 

    • #5
  6. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    The Left has its wise Latino. We have our wise Jew. Everything evens out in the end.

    Kent

    Wait a sec–who’s the wise Latino on he Left??

    • #6
  7. tigerlily Member
    tigerlily
    @tigerlily

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    The Left has its wise Latino. We have our wise Jew. Everything evens out in the end.

    Kent

    Wait a sec–who’s the wise Latino on he Left??

    I think Kent’s talking about wassername – Sotomayor – Obama’s wise Latina on the Supreme Court.

    • #7
  8. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    tigerlily (View Comment):
    I think Kent’s talking about wassername – Sotomayor – Obama’s wise Latina on the Supreme Court.

    Oh, yeah. How did I miss that? So obvious.  Thanks, @tigerlily.  ;-)

    • #8
  9. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Susan Quinn: I’ve also made embarrassing mistakes in my posts: I’ve erred on some of my posts on Judaism, and people have been so helpful and forgiving. I’ve had incorrect information in an occasional post that I’m more than happy to correct if people tell me. I even recently had a spelling error in a post title! So I’m not the brightest bulb in the pack. But I can claim to have a modicum of something else, an attribute that is so very precious to me: Wisdom.

    You’ve hit on one of the endearing things about Ricochet.  On this forum, we can present whatever we want, be they arguments about politics, or thoughts on things as esoteric as the changing seasons.  Of course we all make mistakes when it comes to facts, spelling, and grammar, and we often quiz others on why they feel about certain issues the way they do.  However, one thing always stands out—we have a bunch of smart and talented people who subscribe, and all our posts are made richer for it when members comment.

    And Susan, wisdom itself is pretty damn bright bulb . . .

    • #9
  10. PHenry Inactive
    PHenry
    @PHenry

    Susan Quinn: But I can claim to have a modicum of something else, an attribute that is so very precious to me: Wisdom.

    Wise guy, Huh?  ;) 

    Susan Quinn: When you speak or act, how do you know if you are speaking from wisdom and not desire?

    If you are truly wise, you know that you never know for sure! 

    Seriously, wisdom is mostly about being able to look past your instinct (desire) and see things from outside yourself.  Most everyone can be wise when evaluating other’s actions, it just gets all muddled when it involves yourself. 

    For example, when your friend calls you up and says “I met this great girl on the internet, and we have been IM’ing for a few months now and I think I love her!  I am going to ask her to marry me!”  it isn’t hard to see that there is little wisdom in that choice.  But when it is YOU who met the perfect woman on the internet, somehow, it doesn’t seem unwise at all.  After all, you love her! 

    • #10
  11. Doug Watt Member
    Doug Watt
    @DougWatt

    Wisdom is not giving a police officer the name of a friend that has a warrant for their arrest when he asks for your name.

    • #11
  12. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Stad (View Comment):
    However, one thing always stands out—we have a bunch of smart and talented people who subscribe, and all our posts are made richer for it when members comment.

     

    This is precisely why I stick around and value everyone here, @stad . It is such a treat to share with each other!

    • #12
  13. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    PHenry (View Comment):

    Susan Quinn: But I can claim to have a modicum of something else, an attribute that is so very precious to me: Wisdom.

    Wise guy, Huh? ;)

    Susan Quinn: When you speak or act, how do you know if you are speaking from wisdom and not desire?

    If you are truly wise, you know that you never know for sure!

    Seriously, wisdom is mostly about being able to look past your instinct (desire) and see things from outside yourself. Most everyone can be wise when evaluating other’s actions, it just gets all muddled when it involves yourself.

    For example, when your friend calls you up and says “I met this great girl on the internet, and we have been IM’ing for a few months now and I think I love her! I am going to ask her to marry me!” it isn’t hard to see that there is little wisdom in that choice. But when it is YOU who met the perfect woman on the internet, somehow, it doesn’t seem unwise at all. After all, you love her!

    These are great points, as usual, @phenry. I especially appreciate the highlighted sentence. Similar to knowing that you don’t know. Thanks!

    • #13
  14. livingthenonScienceFictionlife Inactive
    livingthenonScienceFictionlife
    @livingthehighlife

    Without a little bit of wisdom this redneck college dropout wouldn’t have amounted to much.  

    I still can’t write worth a darn, but fortunately that’s not a reflection of wisdom (at least that’s my opinion and I’m sticking to it).

     

    • #14
  15. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    livingthenonScienceFictionlife (View Comment):

    Without a little bit of wisdom this redneck college dropout wouldn’t have amounted to much.

    I still can’t write worth a darn, but fortunately that’s not a reflection of wisdom (at least that’s my opinion and I’m sticking to it).

    One of the wisest men I ever met was a Hispanic foreman of a group of prisoners doing road clean up duty–obviously not your model citizens. Jose was in a training class with other city employees and we had a number of small group discussions. His insights were so thoughtful. I suspect those prisoners he oversaw treated him with respect! We all have probably met people with extra degrees who are as foolish as they come, too.

    • #15
  16. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Doug Watt (View Comment):

    Wisdom is not giving a police officer the name of a friend that has a warrant for their arrest when he asks for your name.

    Duh!  ;-)

    • #16
  17. WillowSpring Member
    WillowSpring
    @WillowSpring

    I’m not sure that being the smartest kid in the bunch is an overall positive.  I was pretty good in school, but that ended up with me being in several RL (Rapid Learner – What is now Advanced Placement) courses in High School.  I was the slowest of the Rapid and had to work very hard to keep up.  When I started my career. I felt like I was probably no smarter than others, but I could work harder.  That worked out pretty well.

    Our older son was good in school, but tried out for the wrestling team where he really struggled.  He didn’t give up, though.  He also tried bicycle racing and really struggled with that.  I think both of those experiences helped him in later life.

    Our youngest son was immediately successful at everything he tried and unfortunately, never learned how to really work at a problem.  I regret that.

    • #17
  18. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    WillowSpring (View Comment):

    Our older son was good in school, but tried out for the wrestling team where he really struggled. He didn’t give up, though. He also tried bicycle racing and really struggled with that. I think both of those experiences helped him in later life.

    Our youngest son was immediately successful at everything he tried and unfortunately, never learned how to really work at a problem. I regret that.

    Profound observations here, @willowspring. Your first son (like you and like me) learned we could do any number of things if we work hard at it. And you’re right–when something comes easily, with little failure or struggle, we don’t learn how to do those things. Those are the truly invaluable lessons–the mistakes and disappointments–and we learn to keep trying.

    • #18
  19. WillowSpring Member
    WillowSpring
    @WillowSpring

    @susanquinn – you said in your last two sentences what I struggled for 3 paragraphs to get out.

    • #19
  20. Rodin Member
    Rodin
    @Rodin

    @susanquinn, your story about Jose does speak to a broader truth: people who say little rarely waste their words on the merely banal. Eyes open, ears open, mouth closed = the beginning of wisdom.

    • #20
  21. Basil Fawlty Member
    Basil Fawlty
    @BasilFawlty

    Doug Watt (View Comment):

    Wisdom is not giving a police officer the name of a friend that has a warrant for their arrest when he asks for your name.

    Depends on what your warrant is for.

    • #21
  22. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Basil Fawlty (View Comment):

    Doug Watt (View Comment):

    Wisdom is not giving a police officer the name of a friend that has a warrant for their arrest when he asks for your name.

    Depends on what your warrant is for.

    It is the friend who has the warrant.

    • #22
  23. Basil Fawlty Member
    Basil Fawlty
    @BasilFawlty

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):

    Basil Fawlty (View Comment):

    Doug Watt (View Comment):

    Wisdom is not giving a police officer the name of a friend that has a warrant for their arrest when he asks for your name.

    Depends on what your warrant is for.

    It is the friend who has the warrant.

    Had I been wise, I would have italicized “your”.

    • #23
  24. Rodin Member
    Rodin
    @Rodin

    Basil Fawlty (View Comment):

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):

    Basil Fawlty (View Comment):

    Doug Watt (View Comment):

    Wisdom is not giving a police officer the name of a friend that has a warrant for their arrest when he asks for your name.

    Depends on what your warrant is for.

    It is the friend who has the warrant.

    Had I been wise, I would have italicized “your”.

    Now I think we are getting into the distinction between “wise” and “smart” as well as “foolish” and “stupid”.

    • #24
  25. Basil Fawlty Member
    Basil Fawlty
    @BasilFawlty

    Rodin (View Comment):

    Basil Fawlty (View Comment):

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):

    Basil Fawlty (View Comment):

    Doug Watt (View Comment):

    Wisdom is not giving a police officer the name of a friend that has a warrant for their arrest when he asks for your name.

    Depends on what your warrant is for.

    It is the friend who has the warrant.

    Had I been wise, I would have italicized “your”.

    Now I think we are getting into the distinction between “wise” and “smart” as well as “foolish” and “stupid”.

    Such distinctions are best left for lexicographers to construe.

    • #25
  26. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Basil Fawlty (View Comment):
    Such distinctions are best left for lexicographers to construe.

    Or misconstrue, which is more fun in the long run, isn’t it?

    • #26
  27. B. Hugh Mann Inactive
    B. Hugh Mann
    @BHughMann

    Wisdom has room for you and it draws you in, like intellectual hospitality.  

    Wisdom does not draw attention to itself, as a tool like a camera, it will focus to reveal more about the other.  

    Sometimes wisdom is to remain silent and let others think you a fool, rather than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.  

    Seeing wisdom growing in one’s grown children is one of the sweetest rewards in life.  

    • #27
  28. Terry Mott Member
    Terry Mott
    @TerryMott

    I first starting harping on wisdom back in the Clinton administration*, when I was still young enough for it not to seem self-serving ;).

    Why are our presidential candidates never judged on how wise they are?

    I suspect it’s due to our culture’s obsession with youth, together with the “progressive” conceit that you don’t need wisdom — if you’re smart enough, you can manage the entire country’s economy from an office suite in D.C., or so they believe.

    * I can’t express how glad I am to not have to qualify “Clinton administration” the way we have to for the Bushes.

    • #28
  29. Terry Mott Member
    Terry Mott
    @TerryMott

    WillowSpring (View Comment):

    I’m not sure that being the smartest kid in the bunch is an overall positive. I was pretty good in school, but that ended up with me being in several RL (Rapid Learner – What is now Advanced Placement) courses in High School. I was the slowest of the Rapid and had to work very hard to keep up. When I started my career. I felt like I was probably no smarter than others, but I could work harder. That worked out pretty well.

    Our older son was good in school, but tried out for the wrestling team where he really struggled. He didn’t give up, though. He also tried bicycle racing and really struggled with that. I think both of those experiences helped him in later life.

    Our youngest son was immediately successful at everything he tried and unfortunately, never learned how to really work at a problem. I regret that.

    Years ago, I knew a young man (high schooler) who was smart as a whip, but tended to be lazy.  He would coast through the school year, then ace the tests and get A’s and B’s without really trying.  He later seemed to struggle in college and I don’t believe ever achieved a bachelors degree.

    My daughter is now taking AP classes when she can, mostly because she wants to avoid being in the core classes with the “slackers” (as she calls them) where there are more bullying b**ches than in the AP program.  She’s a math geek (like her dad), but struggles with the liberal arts because her mind tends to be more abstract and less linguistic.  Yet, she refuses to back off the AP classes in Geography, History, etc..  I can’t tell you how many late nights & weekends she’s spent studying or finishing projects that many of her classmates probably spend 1/4 as much time to complete.

    It’s been stressful and frustrating at times, but I keep thinking that she’s learning to succeed at things that aren’t easy for her, compared to the young man mentioned above, who avoided AP courses because he wanted to coast.  I think she’ll be better for it, in the end.

    • #29
  30. Henry Castaigne Member
    Henry Castaigne
    @HenryCastaigne

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    The Left has its wise Latino. We have our wise Jew. Everything evens out in the end.

    Kent

    It was a wise Latina. Not a Latino. Though possibly Spanish is transphobic.

    • #30
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