Cars That Start?

 

I’ve got a backyard full of people and my husband is in the living room (he calls it a man cave — anything with Barbies in it is not a man cave) watching an old episode of “Trailer Park Boys.”

I wandered in to see one of the stars of the show swearing at his car because it wouldn’t start.

“Life was richer when every time we turned the key it was a crap shoot,” I said.

I bought my first car in 1976. It was regularly where I wasn’t. Either it wouldn’t start when I wanted to leave, so I left without it; or it got me to where I wanted to be and refused to take me home, in which case I bummed a ride or called a brother.

My next car required a screwdriver to short the starter and I always carried a quart of oil. I left it for three days in a bad neighborhood after a broken clutch cable; it’s a testament to how pathetic that car was that it was still there when I came back.

My next car? It was a station wagon with 200K miles on it and I was literally the only person who could start it. I knew just how to turn the key and gas it at exactly the right second. We got towed so many times, son #1 was on speaking terms with the local tow truck driver. I abandoned it one day, eight months pregnant, a toddler in each hand, on an offramp and I never looked back.

From there we’ve progressed to more and more reliable cars. The Volvo I am driving now is so boring and reliable that it will never provide me with a story or a memory.

I’m glad that all my kids are driving cars that start on the first turn of the key. That they won’t find themselves car-less in ski-country and bumming a ride to the ski slope every day. That a kind stranger lets them use their car phone (in 1990!) to call for help. That they don’t have to find a pay phone in a bad neighborhood to call their brother when their clutch cable breaks.

There are moments when I think life is poorer for it.

But not tomorrow when that dang Volvo starts right on cue.

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  1. Doug Watt Member
    Doug Watt
    @DougWatt

    My next car required a screwdriver to short the starter, and I always carried a quart of oil. I left it for three days in a bad neighborhood after a broken clutch cable; it’s a testament to how pathetic that car was that it was still there when I came back.

    Love this essay, and by the way you were lucky that this car didn’t breakdown in your own driveway. You might have found three more just like it parked on your front lawn as you started to brew your morning coffee. :)

    • #1
  2. Kay of MT Inactive
    Kay of MT
    @KayofMT

    Ah Annefy, I so identify with you!

    • #2
  3. SpiritO'78 Inactive
    SpiritO'78
    @SpiritO78

    I was just a kid when my parents ‘inherited’ a seventies model AMC Pacer. The door latches didn’t latch, the engine was louder than a C130 at low speeds, and the windshield had a massive spiderweb crack across it. We got a few stares to say the least. I have 5 brothers and it wasn’t unusual to cram in at least 4 for a trip to the market. My youngest brother fell out once on a slow turn into a parking lot. He kept his feet moving and hung on to the swinging door until my dad realized what was happening and stopped the car.

    It never needed a jump. So reliable. Amazingly no one ever stole it.

    • #3
  4. livingthenonScienceFictionlife Inactive
    livingthenonScienceFictionlife
    @livingthehighlife

    My second car, bought when I was a senior in high school, didn’t ever have a problem starting.  

    But whether it would stay running all the way to it’s destination became more and more of a crap shoot the longer I owned it.

    • #4
  5. Hoyacon Member
    Hoyacon
    @Hoyacon

    I’ve heard that baking soda has lots and lots of uses.  I know of two: letting it sit in the refrigerator, and taking it out of the refrigerator to clean the battery terminals on the several beaters that I’ve driven that wouldn’t start because they always had gunk around the battery.

    • #5
  6. OccupantCDN Coolidge
    OccupantCDN
    @OccupantCDN

    My aunt used to carry a brick in her Volvo, (1970s vintage) she used it to spank the carburetor should the car fail to start when needed.

    My dad used to have a Dodge A100 Van, to be fair to Dodge, this thing was terrible. My dad was always tinkering with it (mostly out of necessity) my uncle had borrowed it to move one weekend… I guess he’d forgotten about the warning not to pull the steering wheel all the way to the left… that would pinch wires in the steering column and the horn would sound. My uncle stopped at a corner to let some nuns cross the street… but the horn was sounding the whole time these little old ladies where crossing the street… He was so embarrassed he brought the van right back…

    The problem with modern cars is they’re not personal, they have no personality – its impossible to anthropomorphize them into being a member of the family. They’re all bland interchangeable, expendable part of modern life, almost indistinguishable from each other. I guess thats a selling point of the ulgy Nissan Cube, Juke, or Honda Element – they’ll at least stand out in a parking lot.

    • #6
  7. Poindexter Inactive
    Poindexter
    @Poindexter

    Good stories Annefy, they brought back fond memories. Or maybe PTSD.

    My spring/summer job in high school was as a farm hand, even though I was a townie. I had advanced up the ladder (ha!) to the point where I was given a work truck to drive to and from home. The year was 1978 and the truck was about a ’75 or ’76 Ford F-100, totally bare-bones, an oh what a piece of [COC] it was, even though it was only a couple of years old at the time. It had a small straight-six, loaded up with emission controls, anemic power steering, and a primitive automatic transmission. Even when it ran as designed the truck would barely get out of its own way.

    The truck had two problems that made starting difficult: The shift interlock switch was worn out or misadjusted, meaning that to get the engine to crank at all you had to hold the shifter hard up in the “Park” position, and it also had a inoperative automatic choke (remember those?). You could crank the engine all you wanted but it would not start when cold unless you held the choke closed by hand. This made starting up in the morning a bit problematic.

    Plan A would have been to repair the shift interlock switch and the choke, but that’s not how we rolled On The Farm. To start the truck I would hook a screen-door spring onto a spoke of the steering wheel, stretch it around the shift lever, then back up to the steering wheel to hold the shifter hard up. I’d then open the hood and stand next to the driver-side mirror. While reaching into the engine compartment and holding the choke closed with my left hand, I’d reach through the open driver’s window and turn the key with my right hand. At that point the engine would usually start.

    BTW my favorite vehicle to drive -to this day- was another farm truck; a 1965 Ford F-100, step-side short-bed. Army surplus, it was still olive drab in color with the serial number “TP-32” painted on the door. TP was an absolute joy to drive. It had a 300 cu inch straight six engine, with three-in-the-tree and would absolutely get out of its own way. It was hands-down the best handling vehicle I’ve ever driven. We were Tokyo-drifting around corners on remote gravel roads long before the term was invented.

    Anyway, those were fun times. These days my cars start every time with no drama; I guess I like it that way now.

    • #7
  8. Annefy Member
    Annefy
    @Annefy

    So many of my family stories revolve around cars and breakdowns. My dad was one of the reasons why. He was a pretty handy guy, but with cars he was clueless. He didn’t learn to drive until he was in his 30s; he bought an old Chevy in Detroit, spent a week learning to drive and then left for California with my older brother. And needless to say, broke down a few times on the way.

    He always had a pair of jumper cables with him; not to be of help, because he knew well he was going to need them. And he’d hope that the guy giving him a jump would know positive vs negative and which car should be running and who should do what when.

    But what fun he had. After he retired he headed to Palm Springs to meet a friend and broke down. He hitched a ride and ended up spending three days on a ranch. When my mom talked of it she said, “I thanked God …” (my husband thought she was going to say that “he was okay”) … she finished with “I wasn’t with him”.

    I dread the day my kids are my age and they are trying to make a story of dropping their smart phone in water and having to leave it in a bag of rice all day.

    The horror!

    • #8
  9. JustmeinAZ Member
    JustmeinAZ
    @JustmeinAZ

    Great stories but I can’t look back with humor or pleasure at ANY of  the times my car broke down. I was either alone, miserable, scared or broke, none of which amuse me now.

    • #9
  10. Pony Convertible Inactive
    Pony Convertible
    @PonyConvertible

    Find me 2 millennials that know how to push start a car.  I never knew if me starter would work so I looked for a slope to park on whenever possible. Then I could push start it myself.   

    • #10
  11. She Member
    She
    @She

     One of the annoying things about “modern” cars is that you can’t figure out most of what goes wrong with them without taking them to the car hospital and having someone hook them up to a machine and run a scan.  The scan alone can cost hundreds of dollars.  Then they tell you that a fifty-cent part in the hoosagonscillometer isn’t working.  But you can’t replace the fifty-cent part, you have to replace the entire HGS.  And no, there are no user-servicable parts inside.  And that’s $3500.00 if you please.

    It’s far too much like modern medicine.  And the insurance is just about as helpful, for the things that actually do go wrong.

    I have such fond memories of some of our old vehicles, too.  And of the things we did, under exigent circumstances, to get them going again.  Most of them would probably be illegal today.

    • #11
  12. She Member
    She
    @She

    Pony Convertible (View Comment):

    Find me 2 millennials that know how to push start a car. I never knew if me starter would work so I looked for a slope to park on whenever possible. Then I could push start it myself.

    Think I’ve told the story before of my night out (it was a Rico meetup for Titus, in Pittsburgh), when I gave my car to the valet service people so I wouldn’t have to go get it in the dark in the multi-level garage, After dinner, when I gave the guy the ticket so I could get it back, he sent a fellow who was hardly dry behind the ears to go get it.  I could see him on the other side of the square, get in, sit down, and sit.  And sit.  After about five minutes, he radioed for another guy to go over there and help him.

    Stick shift.

    • #12
  13. Travis McKee Inactive
    Travis McKee
    @Typewriterking

    I’ve asked people out loud if someone manufactured a car today with a crank starter, would they be interested. I get some interest. People are not generally fond of faulty starters, and would like some assurance that their cars will start on level ground.

    • #13
  14. Cow Girl Thatcher
    Cow Girl
    @CowGirl

    @annefy Such delightful memories!! We have a lot in common with old cars! My husband is a genius mechanic, and we would buy an old truck or car for a little cash, and he’d rebuild the motor. Voila–no car payments. It allowed me to be home with the kids! I got some looks, however, driving around town in some of them…

     

     

    • #14
  15. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Great essay!  I’m still figuring out all the bells and whistles on my 2018 Camry hybrid.  I’ve read the owner’s manual and multimedia system manual (I know, loss of man card offenses), and I still cannot figure out 1) how to turn the radio off, and 2) how to delete stations I don’t listen to.

    My take is if the designers don’t include touch screen buttons that say “OFF” or “DELETE”, then they have no concept of human factors engineering.  Everything else is slicker than greased whale you-know-what . . .

    • #15
  16. Matt Bartle Member
    Matt Bartle
    @MattBartle

    One of the first things I did after going from cash-poor student to person with a regular job was to buy a decent car. After years of driving cheap junkers that needed all kinds of tinkering it was wonderful to get in the car every day and have it just start!

    • #16
  17. iWe Coolidge
    iWe
    @iWe

    My favorite car memories…

    I had a 1976 cherry-red Ford F-250 pickup that, in the 1990s, I was often driving in and around Manhattan. It had a dodgy clutch – which meant that the clutch often fell out the bottom. I still remember one summer’s day, racing for a meeting in Wall Street, pulling over and crawling under the car to reconnect the clutch fittings so we could get there…

    I had a VW van with a bad slip ring connector in the steering wheel so that when we turned, it would beep. Randomly. Much embarrassment and hilarity ensued. I never managed to fix it.

    That same van broke down in strange ways…. I once had to go to a conference, but along the way spent the better part of an hour in cold rain, using coat hangars to keep the exhaust from dragging.

    I had a 1981 Volvo station wagon that had a distributor didn’t much care for moisture. Which would have been fine, except that we lived in London. I still remember coaxing it up the hill at midnight in the fog when Mrs. iWe was in labor…

    Now I kind of like cars that start and work.

    • #17
  18. iWe Coolidge
    iWe
    @iWe

    Oh! I also had a VW van where the starter kept croaking. Mrs. iWe was never very good at starting in compression, which meant that I had to do it. We always had to remember to park the vehicle in London streets, pointing downhill. And I would get behind the wheel, and she would push. Boy, did we ever attract attention! It was like I had enslaved this gorgeous lady to push my van around town.

    • #18
  19. WillowSpring Member
    WillowSpring
    @WillowSpring

    My first car was a Fiat (Fix it again Tony) 600.  I bought it for $300 from tips from my paper route.  Unfortunately, I was only 15, so for 4 months, I practiced in the driveway which was only about 40′ long and had a steep hill.  I could get to 4th by the time I had to brake.  I also practiced turning it around in my parents 2 car garage.  I started learning with that car by taking things off to see what was underneath.  I learned the hard way when, after an hour or so underneath removing the Oil pan with a pair of pliers (my father’s idea of a full toolkit was that it had a Phillips screwdriver) and figured out why it was called an OIL pan.

    When I traded the Fiat in (on a Austin Healey Sprite), the salesman had to help me jump start it.  I only got $25 trade in, but I did keep the shop manual that I bought the month before for $15.

    The Sprite was fun, but had a habit of breaking axles at unfortunate times.  Eventually, I got competition axles that fixed that, but during that time, my father had two comments when I was planning on driving anywhere.  It was either “you car has been too unreliable lately” or “your car is due to break down”.  He did come get me more than once.

    My next car was a Triumph TR-3.  The transmission had a broken tooth and eventually, couldn’t go in reverse.  Going on dates with my now wife, I had to negotiate with the parking lot attendant for a spot that I didn’t need to reverse to get out of.   I learned how to take the transmission out fairly quickly.  That was handy, since I had to figure out what part I needed, put it together so I could go get the part, bring it home and repeat the cycle.

    After that, the cars – 67 Mustang, Firebird, VW beetle (when I got married)  – got successively more boring.  The only interesting exception was a Suzuki Samurai.  That was great for teaching teenagers to use a stick shift.  Just go to a big open field, put it in 4 wheel low and let them go.

    After that, it has been very boring Volvos and Land Rovers (well, except for the BMW Z4 – that is kind of fun).  I have no pretense that I could do anything anymore other than add air to the tires or oil and water.

    lots of memories

    • #19
  20. Full Size Tabby Member
    Full Size Tabby
    @FullSizeTabby

    Members of the local MG car club tell me (I talk to them at car shows) that by driving an MG they still get to develop such stories.

    • #20
  21. Blue State Blues Member
    Blue State Blues
    @BlueStateBlues

    She (View Comment):

    Pony Convertible (View Comment):

    Find me 2 millennials that know how to push start a car. I never knew if me starter would work so I looked for a slope to park on whenever possible. Then I could push start it myself.

    Think I’ve told the story before of my night out (it was a Rico meetup for Titus, in Pittsburgh), when I gave my car to the valet service people so I wouldn’t have to go get it in the dark in the multi-level garage, After dinner, when I gave the guy the ticket so I could get it back, he sent a fellow who was hardly dry behind the ears to go get it. I could see him on the other side of the square, get in, sit down, and sit. And sit. After about five minutes, he radioed for another guy to go over there and help him.

    Stick shift.

    She (View Comment):

    Pony Convertible (View Comment):

    Find me 2 millennials that know how to push start a car. I never knew if me starter would work so I looked for a slope to park on whenever possible. Then I could push start it myself.

    Think I’ve told the story before of my night out (it was a Rico meetup for Titus, in Pittsburgh), when I gave my car to the valet service people so I wouldn’t have to go get it in the dark in the multi-level garage, After dinner, when I gave the guy the ticket so I could get it back, he sent a fellow who was hardly dry behind the ears to go get it. I could see him on the other side of the square, get in, sit down, and sit. And sit. After about five minutes, he radioed for another guy to go over there and help him.

    Stick shift.

    It’s called a “millennial theft prevention device.” 

    I’ve had a similar experience.  The fellow knew how to drive a stick shift, but he couldn’t figure out how to get it into reverse so he ended up driving it around the block.

    • #21
  22. Full Size Tabby Member
    Full Size Tabby
    @FullSizeTabby

    Blue State Blues (View Comment):

    . . . 

    She (View Comment):

    Pony Convertible (View Comment):

    Find me 2 millennials that know how to push start a car. I never knew if me starter would work so I looked for a slope to park on whenever possible. Then I could push start it myself.

    Think I’ve told the story before of my night out (it was a Rico meetup for Titus, in Pittsburgh), when I gave my car to the valet service people so I wouldn’t have to go get it in the dark in the multi-level garage, After dinner, when I gave the guy the ticket so I could get it back, he sent a fellow who was hardly dry behind the ears to go get it. I could see him on the other side of the square, get in, sit down, and sit. And sit. After about five minutes, he radioed for another guy to go over there and help him.

    Stick shift.

    It’s called a “millennial theft prevention device.”

    I’ve had a similar experience. The fellow knew how to drive a stick shift, but he couldn’t figure out how to get it into reverse so he ended up driving it around the block.

    Depending on the era, I wouldn’t be too hard on the guy who couldn’t get the stick shift into reverse. In the 1970’s different car manufacturers put reverse in different places in the shift pattern, and had different ways of overcoming lock-out mechanisms to get it into reverse. Some required pushing down on the gearshift. Others required pulling up either the gearshift itself or on a lever just below the gearshift knob. Sometimes reverse was on the left, next to either 1st or 2nd, but other cars had reverse out to the right near the highest gears. I remember helping a lot of people who knew how to drive a “3 pedal” car, but could not figure out how to get into reverse on an unfamiliar car. 

    • #22
  23. Tex929rr Coolidge
    Tex929rr
    @Tex929rr

    Personality is highly overrated in motor vehicles.  (This is from someone who used to own an Alfa Romeo.)  My wife still has a Volkswagen Thing, which she occasionally takes out to get a reminder of the bad old days (the dogs do love it, though).

    These sorts of memories are fun to revisit in the same way that when I am with my motorcycling buddies we often talk about the trips where we got caught in torrential rains or snow.  Vivid memories of coping, but I sure don’t go looking to create more of them.

    Faulting a vehicle for insufficient personality is like faulting a partner for being too good looking.

    • #23
  24. Blue State Blues Member
    Blue State Blues
    @BlueStateBlues

    Full Size Tabby (View Comment):

    Blue State Blues (View Comment):

    . . .

    She (View Comment):

    Pony Convertible (View Comment):

    Find me 2 millennials that know how to push start a car. I never knew if me starter would work so I looked for a slope to park on whenever possible. Then I could push start it myself.

    Think I’ve told the story before of my night out (it was a Rico meetup for Titus, in Pittsburgh), when I gave my car to the valet service people so I wouldn’t have to go get it in the dark in the multi-level garage, After dinner, when I gave the guy the ticket so I could get it back, he sent a fellow who was hardly dry behind the ears to go get it. I could see him on the other side of the square, get in, sit down, and sit. And sit. After about five minutes, he radioed for another guy to go over there and help him.

    Stick shift.

    It’s called a “millennial theft prevention device.”

    I’ve had a similar experience. The fellow knew how to drive a stick shift, but he couldn’t figure out how to get it into reverse so he ended up driving it around the block.

    Depending on the era, I wouldn’t be too hard on the guy who couldn’t get the stick shift into reverse. In the 1970’s different car manufacturers put reverse in different places in the shift pattern, and had different ways of overcoming lock-out mechanisms to get it into reverse. Some required pushing down on the gearshift. Others required pulling up either the gearshift itself or on a lever just below the gearshift knob. Sometimes reverse was on the left, next to either 1st or 2nd, but other cars had reverse out to the right near the highest gears. I remember helping a lot of people who knew how to drive a “3 pedal” car, but could not figure out how to get into reverse on an unfamiliar car.

    There’s a collar on the stick below the knob that has to be pulled up.  If you don’t you will keep going into sixth.  I didn’t blame him for not knowing that, but it was funny nonetheless.

    • #24
  25. Phil Turmel Inactive
    Phil Turmel
    @PhilTurmel

    She (View Comment):

    One of the annoying things about “modern” cars is that you can’t figure out most of what goes wrong with them without taking them to the car hospital and having someone hook them up to a machine and run a scan. The scan alone can cost hundreds of dollars. Then they tell you that a fifty-cent part in the hoosagonscillometer isn’t working. But you can’t replace the fifty-cent part, you have to replace the entire HGS. And no, there are no user-servicable parts inside. And that’s $3500.00 if you please.

    I suggest you spend ~$20 bucks the next time your engine light comes on.  This and this.  The Torque app will even pop you over to a website with details and suggestions for the codes that pop up.

    It’s far too much like modern medicine.

    You say that like it’s a bad thing.  I’m up for modern life spans.

    • #25
  26. BastiatJunior Member
    BastiatJunior
    @BastiatJunior

    Great post @Annefy !

    Brings back memories.

    Like so many of our generation.  Been there.  Did that.  Don’t want the t-shirt.

    • #26
  27. Miffed White Male Member
    Miffed White Male
    @MiffedWhiteMale

    Annefy: I’m glad that all my kids are driving cars that start on the first turn of the key.

    Twice in the last week I’ve had to drive new cars belonging to relatives.

    What’s the perceived advantage of the “start” button versus having a key?  And this whole RF keyfob nonsense.  Last night I had to drop off my brothers minivan at the airport for him, couldn’t lock the “key” in the car (even though he was carrying a spare), so now he has to make a special trip out to my house to get it back.

    I don’t like it.

     

    • #27
  28. BastiatJunior Member
    BastiatJunior
    @BastiatJunior

    Blue State Blues (View Comment):

    It’s called a “millennial theft prevention device.” 

    I’ve had a similar experience. The fellow knew how to drive a stick shift, but he couldn’t figure out how to get it into reverse so he ended up driving it around the block.

    I would like to teach my daughters how to drive a manual transmission, but they are very hard to find these days.  (Cars with manual transmissions, that is; not my daughters.)

    • #28
  29. OccupantCDN Coolidge
    OccupantCDN
    @OccupantCDN

    Tex929rr (View Comment):

    Personality is highly overrated in motor vehicles. (This is from someone who used to own an Alfa Romeo.) My wife still has a Volkswagen Thing, which she occasionally takes out to get a reminder of the bad old days (the dogs do love it, though).

    These sorts of memories are fun to revisit in the same way that when I am with my motorcycling buddies we often talk about the trips where we got caught in torrential rains or snow. Vivid memories of coping, but I sure don’t go looking to create more of them.

    Faulting a vehicle for insufficient personality is like faulting a partner for being too good looking.

    Personality doesnt necessarily come from unreliability.  It could just have quirky features or unusual instrumentation layouts.With more and more of a car’s features being computer controlled, unexpected companies like, Garmen, Toshiba or Blackberry, will have more control over the car’s features and user interfaces than the actual manufacture of the car.

    I have never owned an Alfa Romeo – I have only maybe seen 1 or 2 of them ever, but I know of their reputation. I once owned an ironically named Reliant K Car. It would not start below -10 without the block heater being plugged in for at least 20 minutes. (quite a problem in Canada) The transmission was also sticky, when changing lanes I could floor it, the engine would rev to the top of its range, sometimes for a full minute before changing gears… Meanwhile I can see the truck approaching in my rear view – it was like it was possessed attempting to kill me by on rushing traffic. I dont miss this personality at all.

    A VW Thing would at least be reliable. Its folding windscreen and large soft top would make it impractical for places where it snows, and gets cold. 

    • #29
  30. Matt Bartle Member
    Matt Bartle
    @MattBartle

    Miffed White Male (View Comment):

    Annefy: I’m glad that all my kids are driving cars that start on the first turn of the key.

    Twice in the last week I’ve had to drive new cars belonging to relatives.

    What’s the perceived advantage of the “start” button versus having a key? And this whole RF keyfob nonsense. Last night I had to drop off my brothers minivan at the airport for him, couldn’t lock the “key” in the car (even though he was carrying a spare), so now he has to make a special trip out to my house to get it back.

    I don’t like it.

     

    The first time I rented a car with that RF keyfob it had me baffled when I tried to lock the car. Especially because it was new to me, I wanted to lock it and then pull on the door handle to make sure it was really locked. But with the keyfob that close to the car, it wouldn’t lock! It figured I wanted to get in so it stayed unlocked – I guess it’s nice when you do want to get in and you find it unlocks itself when you walk up to it.

    When I figured out what was happening, I handed the fob to my wife who walked a distance away and then I could have the satisfaction of testing that the doors were locked.

     

    • #30
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