As I Lay Dying

 

When the Comtesse de Vercellis, well, passed gas while she was dying, she said, quite reasonably I think, “Good! A woman who can fart is not dead.” Then she died.

The Comtesse didn’t seem to care a whit about other people’s opinions of her. But surely she is an exception to the mass of humanity. Most people care—as they should—about the world’s opinion.

When you don’t care at all about the world’s opinion, you are a sociopath. When you care too much, you’re not enough your own man and the world is too much with you. As usual, the golden mean is the way to go.

I have a story about a man who cared too much about the world’s opinion.

The following episode is true, but I’ve changed names for reasons that will be obvious. When I taught at Middleboro State University, Professor Dubman died in front of his class. According to his students, Dubman was lecturing when his coherence began to go to pieces. Dubman wasn’t too coherent to begin with, so it took the students awhile to notice a difference.

But this time he started rambling more than usual and started to stare off into space. This went on for a minute or so. Then he collapsed, stumbling awkwardly on his way to the floor, spittle coming from his lips. His heart had stopped. A student rushed to the front and started artificial respiration. Dubman came back to life.

I talked to Dubman when he retuned to the University after a period of rehabilitation. “Kent,” he said, “you know what my last thoughts before death were? I was worrying about how foolish I looked as I began to fall apart. I landed on the floor rather awkwardly, you know.”

Afterwards, back in my office, I started thinking about what Dubman had said. Isn’t it sad that in the last moments of his life, his mind was dwelling on what people thought of him? There was a man who worried too much about the world’s opinion.

As we die, shouldn’t we be thinking of our wives, husbands, mothers? Or, even better, a great thought or two. “Life is a tale told by an idiot, full of. . . . . .Ack!”

Goethe was supposed to have cried out, “More light, more light!”

The artist and writer, Dereck Jarman, said, “I want the world to be filled with white fluffy duckies.”

W.C. Fields’ last words: “G-d damn the whole friggin’ world and everyone in it but you, Carlotta. (Carlotta was his mistress.)

Margaret Sanger: “A party! Let’s have a party!”

Steve Jobs last words were, “Oh wow! Oh wow! Oh wow!”—as if he were seeing something no one else could see. Or perhaps he was playing a final joke on us.

But no big thoughts for Professor Dubman as he was dying. He was worried about how foolish he looked.

I hope my last thoughts on this earth will not be about what others are thinking of me. So I’m planning right now that my last word will be “Marie.”

Endnote: Have you thought about what your last words will be? Your mind may be distracted, you know, so you ought to have something in mind.

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  1. KentForrester Coolidge
    KentForrester
    @KentForrester

    Fake John/Jane Galt (View Comment):

    I plan to die peacefully in my sleep after tell my wife that I love her.

    Mr. Galt, that’s a fine plan.  It would be perfect!

    Kent

    • #31
  2. Miffed White Male Member
    Miffed White Male
    @MiffedWhiteMale

    Miffed White Male (View Comment):
    At this point, my biggest fear of death is that I’m going to go suddenly without a chance to say goodbye to my wife and kids (both boys are pre-teens).

    Just last night my 11-year-old was lobbying to show me an episode of some TV show he wanted me to watch before going to bed.  My wife told him it was too late (at night), and he’d have plenty of opportunities to show it to me some other time.  The little [redacted] proceeded to point at me and very dramatically exclaim “He’s 56  – it’s not like he’s got a lot of time left!”

    That’s about as hard as I’ve seen my wife laugh in a long, long time.  I’m not sure I really appreciated it.

    • #32
  3. KentForrester Coolidge
    KentForrester
    @KentForrester

    Arahant (View Comment):

    GLDIII (View Comment):

    OMG did I clean my browser history?

    Private windows and auto-delete of history, my friend. We don’t want your wife to know about the naked midget wrestling.

    Someone else likes naked midget wrestling?  Wow, let’s start one of those special interest groups on Ricochet.

    Kent.

    • #33
  4. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Miffed White Male (View Comment):
    I’m not sure I really appreciated it.

    You will, looking back on it in twenty years. (If you should live so long. 😁)

    • #34
  5. KentForrester Coolidge
    KentForrester
    @KentForrester

    Miffed White Male (View Comment):

    Miffed White Male (View Comment):
    At this point, my biggest fear of death is that I’m going to go suddenly without a chance to say goodbye to my wife and kids (both boys are pre-teens).

    Just last night my 11-year-old was lobbying to show me an episode of some TV show he wanted me to watch before going to bed. My wife told him it was too late (at night), and he’d have plenty of opportunities to show it to me some other time. The little [redacted] proceeded to point at me and very dramatically exclaim “He’s 56 – it’s not like he’s got a lot of time left!”

    That’s about as hard as I’ve seen my wife laugh in a long, long time. I’m not sure I really appreciated it.

    Mr. Miffed, that’s a clever son you have there.  He was kidding you, wasn’t he? 

    Kent 

    • #35
  6. Judithann Campbell Member
    Judithann Campbell
    @

    Miffed White Male (View Comment):
    I was on an Amtrak trip probably 20 years ago and met a guy who had an airplane experience – one of the engines literally fell off the plane in flight. That’s why he was on Amtrak – he didn’t fly anymore.

    My husband still flies, but only if he absolutely has to, and he always has a few drinks beforehand :)

    • #36
  7. Michael Brehm Lincoln
    Michael Brehm
    @MichaelBrehm

    I always thought my last words would be along the lines of, “Oh, for crying out loud” accompanied with an eye-roll. After which, I would be obliterated by some hurtling chunk of flaming machinery.

    • #37
  8. Misthiocracy, Joke Pending Member
    Misthiocracy, Joke Pending
    @Misthiocracy

    Miffed White Male (View Comment):
    I was on an Amtrak trip probably 20 years ago and met a guy who had an airplane experience – one of the engines literally fell off the plane in flight. That’s why he was on Amtrak – he didn’t fly anymore.

    That’s really bad logic.  There’s a much greater chance of catastrophe when an engine falls off a train.

    • #38
  9. RightAngles Member
    RightAngles
    @RightAngles

    Judithann Campbell (View Comment):

    . My husband was sitting one seat down from a very attractive woman; he said that he and the woman just looked at each other, and he thought about how much he wanted to sleep with her, and how it was too bad that he never would.

    That was long before he met me :)

    Well it dang well better be.

    • #39
  10. Songwriter Inactive
    Songwriter
    @user_19450

    GLDIII (View Comment):

    OMG did I clean my browser history?

    Ladies and gentlemen – We have a winner.

    • #40
  11. Kay of MT Inactive
    Kay of MT
    @KayofMT

    Miffed White Male (View Comment):
    The little [redacted] proceeded to point at me and very dramatically exclaim “He’s 56 – it’s not like he’s got a lot of time left!”

    When Kaylett was 16, we had some difficulties communicating. She came in one night telling me she was doing her best to get along with me as she had bought a book to help her, “Understanding Your Aging Parent.”

    • #41
  12. Derek Simmons Member
    Derek Simmons
    @

    Miffed White Male (View Comment):
    now I’m crying at my desk

    #MeToo

    • #42
  13. RightAngles Member
    RightAngles
    @RightAngles

    I’ll probably be like Pancho Villa, whose last words were, “Don’t let it end this way. Tell them I said something.”

    • #43
  14. GLDIII Reagan
    GLDIII
    @GLDIII

    Songwriter (View Comment):

    GLDIII (View Comment):

    OMG did I clean my browser history?

    Ladies and gentlemen – We have a winner.

    And this was such a great post, I’m sorry for being such an irreverent cad.

    EDIT;  However I am still giggling thinking about my first thought….

    • #44
  15. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Let us cross over the river, and rest under the shade of the trees.

    — Gen. Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson

     

    • #45
  16. Kay of MT Inactive
    Kay of MT
    @KayofMT

    I was in a near death experience when another car T-boned me in an intersection. As my car was spinning around and the metal crumpling around me, my thoughts, “Oh crap, what a way to go.” I was really pissed.

    • #46
  17. thelonious Member
    thelonious
    @thelonious

    Hopefully “AVENGE MY DEATH!!” will be appropriate as a last line.

    • #47
  18. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Either this wallpaper goes or I do.

    — Oscar Wilde

    • #48
  19. Judge Mental Member
    Judge Mental
    @JudgeMental

    Arahant (View Comment):

    PHCheese (View Comment):

    So Marie is your mistress?

    Either that or his sled.

    Okay, you stepped on my last line:

    “It’s a sled?  Are you kidding?”

    • #49
  20. KentForrester Coolidge
    KentForrester
    @KentForrester

    Kay of MT (View Comment):

    Miffed White Male (View Comment):
    The little [redacted] proceeded to point at me and very dramatically exclaim “He’s 56 – it’s not like he’s got a lot of time left!”

    When Kaylett was 16, we had some difficulties communicating. She came in one night telling me she was doing her best to get along with me as she had bought a book to help her, “Understanding Your Aging Parent.”

    Kay, hi!  I wish my daughter had been that wise and understanding.  Instead, she sulked.  Four years of dark clothing and sulking.  By the way, she finally pulled out of it and became a funeral director, which was a perfect job for her.  Now she’s cheerful and talky. 

    Sometimes you just have to wait them out.

    Kent

    • #50
  21. MarciN Member
    MarciN
    @MarciN

    When one of my kids was going through her first communion training, I was in the evening class for the parents. The nun who was teaching the class was explaining the act of contrition, which is a prayer seeking God’s forgiveness. She said, “It’s very important to say this prayer every night before you go to sleep. You might not have time before you die to say this. You know the story about the knight charging down the muddy road? He comes to a bridge that starts to break apart under his horse’s feet. Guess what his last thought was?” :-)

    • #51
  22. Misthiocracy, Joke Pending Member
    Misthiocracy, Joke Pending
    @Misthiocracy

    Key West Cemetary, 701 Pauline Street, Key West, FL 33040

    • #52
  23. RightAngles Member
    RightAngles
    @RightAngles

    • #53
  24. MarciN Member
    MarciN
    @MarciN

    Percival (View Comment):

    Either this wallpaper goes or I do.

    — Oscar Wilde

    That’s really funny. 

    There’s a famous book out there somewhere (The Snows of Kilimanjaro?) in which an entire chapter is about the main character’s dying, and after a while, he says something to the effect of, “Even dying is boring after a while.” I don’t remember where I saw it, but it comes back to me all the time. That would be awful. 

    • #54
  25. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    It was prophesied that the last words of one of our evaluation pilots were going to be “What does this button do?”

    • #55
  26. KentForrester Coolidge
    KentForrester
    @KentForrester

    Percival (View Comment):

    Let us cross over the river, and rest under the shade of the trees.

    — Gen. Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson

    Perceval, now there is a romantic and soft view of death.  And from a soldier!  I once wrote introductory chapters for a book called “American War Poetry” (which fell though at the last minute).  War poetry became almost entirely anti-war poetry starting with the First World War.  And descriptions of death became increasingly realistic and grotesque. One of my favorites is “The Death of the Ball Turret Gunner.”  

    Kent

    • #56
  27. Doug Kimball Thatcher
    Doug Kimball
    @DougKimball

    “I got this.”

    or

    “It looks like whisky.”

    • #57
  28. KentForrester Coolidge
    KentForrester
    @KentForrester

    Percival (View Comment):

    Either this wallpaper goes or I do.

    — Oscar Wilde

    Perceval, I’ve always liked that line.  Perfect Wilde!

    Kent

    • #58
  29. Kay of MT Inactive
    Kay of MT
    @KayofMT

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    Kay, hi! I wish my daughter had been that wise and understanding. Instead, she sulked. Four years of dark clothing and sulking. By the way, she finally pulled out of it and became a funeral director, which was a perfect job for her. Now she’s cheerful and talky. 

    Sometimes you just have to wait them out.

    Kent

    I wasn’t quite thrilled as I wasn’t yet 40. She still treats me as if I’m in my dotage. And, I’m still waiting.

    • #59
  30. RightAngles Member
    RightAngles
    @RightAngles

    Kay of MT (View Comment):

    Miffed White Male (View Comment):
    The little [redacted] proceeded to point at me and very dramatically exclaim “He’s 56 – it’s not like he’s got a lot of time left!”

    When Kaylett was 16, we had some difficulties communicating. She came in one night telling me she was doing her best to get along with me as she had bought a book to help her, “Understanding Your Aging Parent.”

    Hahaha! My daughter called me from college a couple of months ago and said we should talk about what kind of “home” I’d like to be put in.

    • #60
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