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Conclave of the Deep State, January 5, 2018
Barack Obama, President of the Deep State and Still President in Our Hearts.
Undisclosed location (Ok, it was a party room at Chuck E. Cheese.)
Transcript from secret recording device hidden in Barack Obama’s giant teeth:
Welp, The Russians thing blew up in our faces. The “Racist!” thing is kaput since black unemployment is down. The “he has no idea what he’s doing” thing doesn’t look too good since the Dow Jones Industrial Average has set 71 new records at the closing bell in 2017 alone. This one really fries me since every time I opened my mouth, the market took a dive. And worst of all, illegal border crossings are down. If we don’t act soon, there go millions of Democrat votes right down the drain and back into that [expletive]-hole Mexico. Ideas? Anyone?
Yes, Speaker … I mean ex-Speaker Pelosi? Ah, yes, I see where you’re going with this. Mental and/or physical impairment leading to removal from office as per the 25th Amendment. Okay, Lindsay Graham — where is he? Ah, there you are, Senator. Please go over that 25th Amendment thing with a fine-toothed comb and get the word out to our friends in the media …. what’s that? They’re all right here in the room? Ok, great. Oh hey, Anderson Cooper! And great to see you, Scott Pelley and Andrea Mitchell! Way to help the Resistance! Right on!
Back to Ms. Pelosi’s excellent idea. Andrea, you’re in charge of the White House press corps. My right-hand man, Jeff Flake, will be giving you the list of questions that you’ll feed to them for the press conference. Jeff, be sure to have one of them ask if he has dentures. And, let’s see now, George Will? Where are you, buddy? Ah, there you are. I want you to find a pile of psychiatrists and psychologists who are on the Right Side of History to go on every news show and pronounce Trump mentally unstable and unfit for office, and who cares if they’ve never even been in the same room with him.
Maxine Waters, your assignment is to shut up and stay away from cameras until I say otherwise.
Will someone please get Joe out of the bouncy-ball cage and get him in here. And ignore that pounding on the door. It’s Hillary and Debbie Wasserman Schultz trying to get in. I don’t know how they found out about this meeting, but whoever blabbed is getting one week of Michelle’s school lunches as a penalty.
Ok, good meeting, everyone. The bar is open! Now get out there and Make a Difference! Keep the faith, baby. Joe, get over here and put that ball down.