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Quote of the Day #2: Singing Out One’s Pain
O Lord, God of my salvation,
…I cry out day and night before you.
Let my prayer come before you;
…incline your ear to my cry!For my soul is full of troubles,
…and my life draws near to Sheol.
I am counted among those who go down to the pit;
…I am a man who has no strength,
like one set loose among the dead,
…like the slain that lie in the grave,
like those whom you remember no more,
…for they are cut off from your hand.You have put me in the depths of the pit,
…in the regions dark and deep.
Your wrath lies heavy upon me,
…and you overwhelm me with all your waves. (Psalm 88: 1-7)
I have been to several churches in the past three decades that preferred the use of worship music over more traditional fare. I tend not to have too much trouble with it, save in a few areas. One such is its glaring absence of an ability to seriously address the pain of the soul. I guess it’s not too much of a surprise. Pain is something that nowadays we have trouble really accepting. However, in a church — a place where one should be shown how the world really works — denial of pain is just as bad if not worse than what we find in the World at large.
Worship music seems to seriously struggle there. There’s a strong streak of, “Yaaaay, Jesus!” and “Yaaaay, Lord!” there. Even songs that brush against the problem of pain tend to sound like, “Sometimes I’m sad, but yaaaaay, Jesus!” Listen, I don’t have a problem with praising the Lord, and especially not in times of pain. But read the above Psalm in whole. There’s little cheer. It’s hard to imagine an upbeat tempo to this. It is a lament. The Psalmist is at rock bottom. He starts by calling out to his Lord, and lists his pains but never does he pause to say, “Yaaaaay!”
For the decade I struggled with an inability to find my partner, to start my family, loneliness became increasingly painful. For me to go to church and be bombarded with demands to cheer isolated me. What was wrong with me that I couldn’t be happy in whatever spot I’d gotten myself into? It was almost as if I couldn’t be honest about how deep my loneliness had grown with no idea how to pull myself out. I couldn’t cheer and for that, I felt lesser.
But it isn’t so. If anything we’re shown in the scriptures that pain is real and deep. That sometimes we cry out to our Savior with nothing more than our calls for aid because the depths of despair are such that we cannot muster more than the weakest cheer at best. Shared pain is lessened. And we mustn’t be afraid to speak or even sing out in our pain.
Published in Group Writing
A prayer from Orthodox prayer books. I have found much comfort there.
Some churches still use laments and similar songs. They just tend to be fewer and farther between in this age of mega-churches preaching happy-happy.
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Good work, Mr. Douglas.
As you say, C.U., religion should be the place where we can share our pain, be supported and comforted. So often people feel they are bad or disturbed or less-than, because they seem to be the only ones who are suffering. To embrace and go through one’s pain, and know that others are there for you in that time, takes courage and commitment.
I’ve found after a life of being raised a Protestant (in a Catholic family – long story) a life of New Age anything goes, Eastern, Western, etc. going back to my roots as a Protestant, I find the most authentic service in a traditional Episcopalian or Catholic service. It’s quiet, reverent, holy, focuses on God, the sacrifice of Jesus and Communion, including singing the Psalms, and the focus is on worshiping God. The focus for that hour is off of self, and then at the end, you feel like the focus of God was you, like you were the only one in the room.