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“First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.” — Epictetus
This strikes me as a sentence desperately in need of parsing. Use the example of losing 25 pounds. The resolution makers ‘successfully worked toward their goal‘. What does that mean? They tried for a week and then gave up? Whereas the non resolution makers were required to achieve their goal to be counted. Sounds like apples and oranges.
I think resolutions timed around these annual dates are the equivalent of wanking.
Jon’s tips for taking small bites of things, having very specific goals and milestones along the way (so you feel some satisfaction of achievement) is the only way to make real change. Most change that needs to happen can’t be done in one big bite of the enchilada. The best things worth doing, or having, take some work, every day. Job, relationships, exercise, you name it. There’s no shortcuts and you can’t really take time off from it. It should become part of your life.
But you can’t do it all at once. I had a brain injury in 2002 that put me in a wheelchair. Ran my first half marathon in 2007. I’ve run 38 of them since 2007, logging something like 4,200 miles in 10 years.
It was a long, slow walk (literally) from a wheelchair, to standing unassisted, to walking with a walker, then a cane, then walking hands-free, then actually running again for the first time (chaotically down a hallway at rehab, but it was running). None of that came all at once.
Little bites of work. One at a time. Consistently done.
That’s the only way permanent change happens. The rest is wanking.
You want to join us for a 90-Day Challenge, Jon?
http://ricochet.com/481859/it-begins-again/
That would have been a good subject for an article. In the event, the article, and all the comments so far, and all the comments to come will be on the opposing doctrine:
“First say to yourself what you have to do, then wonder why you have failed.”
No need to wonder. Just read the quote from Epictetus.
WOW. Thank you so much for sharing your experience, @chriscampion. I’m embarrassed to admit I’ve been whining recently about the exercise adaptations I make for nagging plantar fasciitis. Will think of you as I work around any limitations and make progress one small step at a time next year. Hope to meet you at an NC meetup some time!
I, like The Other Diane, am truly impressed with you determination and ultimate success. Yours is a story that inspires others. Thank you for sharing. And Happy New Year!
I resolved to quit smoking on New Year’s Day in 2005. I did. I quit and haven’t smoked a single cigarette since. So I have huge, superstitious reverence for the power of New Year’s resolutions.
I can’t quite recall making or keeping another one, though. Oh, yes: The year after that, I vowed to run a marathon, but I managed to injure myself so badly by February that it didn’t happen. (I did run one, subsequently, but I worked up to it in a more sensible way.)
I believe in New Year’s resolutions. I reckon I’d still be smoking were it not for their magical power.
It wasn’t magic that made the smoking stop. It was Claire.
If they have one – I’ll try to be there.
C
New Year’s Resolution: set one small goal on January 1 and follow it through.
Actually, my goal is one project per week. It can be anything – organize tupperware cupboard, clean pantry, sew a dress, or recaulk the bathroom. The goal is basically accomplish a weekly goal.
For fitness/weight loss, it’s go to the gym 3x this week and no soda. For the week. I’ll have 52 new year’s resolutions this year.
On a funny note, this year is the perfectionist’s dream year. January 1 is on Monday!
I started something several years ago that has worked well. I have two long skinny pads side by side.
On the right pad is long term. IE get all prices updated on website, scan the boxes of pictures I inherited from my mom, work on taxes.
On the left is specific tasks related to the long term goals, IE update blade prices, get through one box of pictures, upload pics to the cloud. I add things like clean out closet, pay bills etc.
Using this system I have managed to get through several seemingly insurmountable projects, settling my mother’s estate, building a new website, completely emptying our two car garage and converting it into an apartment.
I have found it helpful to remind myself to pay bills, but also to keep long term projects front and center to keep nibbling away at them
I still forget to make dinner though. My husband is convinced I’m the only person who thinks the world might end before 6:00, so why bother ?
We expect people to fail when they make New Year’s Resolutions. More so when they are born of booze and hope or hangovers and regret.
I recommend not making a “New Year’s Resolution” but instead making a resolution somewhere around the turn of the year in sober private reflection.
“It wasn’t magic that made the smoking stop. It was Claire.”
Yes, but when Claire (or anyone) believes in magic, it helps.
Not smoking while in France requires serious mojo.