Trump’s Crime Isn’t His Love for the Kremlin…

 


…it’s his passion for KFC. I’m a total foodie, but I am not in any way a food snob. I love fast food, and I’ve been known to drive miles out of my way for just the right insta-food-bag experience. But I wouldn’t walk across the street to eat at KFC:

Corey Lewandowski and David Bossie offer a look into a Trump campaign that was defined by fits of rage, fast food, and competing forces of unconditional loyalty in their upcoming book.

In the new tell-all, titled “Let Trump Be Trump,” obtained in advance by the Washington Post, the former campaign manager and senior aide explain the “expletive-filled tirades” the then-candidate would often unleash on his staff when things didn’t go as planned. Besides his rage, his diet wasn’t the healthiest either. The men describe how Trump’s four main food groups on the campaign trail consisted of McDonald’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken, pizza, and Diet Coke. The book states president would order from McDonalds “two Big Macs, two Fillet-O-Fish, and a chocolate malted.”

UGH! Where to begin…

First–as I laid out in today’s podcast--let’s dismiss with any debate over McDonald’s food because Mickie D’s isn’t food as traditionally understood. It’s McDonald’s. It’s a flavor experience unto itself. (To hear Steve Martin’s explanation of the science behind this phenomenon, click here.) Although I do have to ask… fish sandwich? At a burger joint? Puh-LEASE.

Anyway, it’s the KFC collusion I find most distasteful. First, because it shows Trump knows one of the key truths about fast food: Fried chicken is option one.  You want a burger? Try to find a Five Guys or one of the other legit burger joints, because the quality is significantly better. But is it possible to get excellent fried chicken at a drive-thru…and of course I’m talking about Popeye’s.

Popeye’s is the best nationally-available fast food…PERIOD. A three-piece dark with red beans and rice and a biscuit (and sweet tea, of course) is as quality as you’re gonna get without getting out of your car.  Bojangle’s is decent, too, and even Church’s has its place.

But KFC?  KFC is essentially a 1970’s TV dinner without the ubiquitous “jumping pea.” It’s cafeteria food from a bad high school. It is drive-thru dreck, the “Jaws IV” of food.

Popeye’s is the best. Taco Bell is solid–particularly post-imbibing. I can put a hurtin’ on a Chick-Fil-A any day of the week (well, except Sunday). A Whopper is a fine “fake burger.” A Wendy’s double is the real deal. And I could live on DQ for a month.  Like I said, I’m no fast-food snob.

But can we really trust a man to be President of the United States who goes out of his way to eat KFC? I think it’s time for a constitutional amendment. This cannot stand.

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  1. Jim Wright Inactive
    Jim Wright
    @JimW

    Impeach.

    • #1
  2. Guruforhire Inactive
    Guruforhire
    @Guruforhire

    When KFC is good, its good, when its bad its really bad.

    **full disclosure I own stock in Bojangles which is better than Popeyes and Popeyes made me fat because in Korea the Popeyes on base delivered.

     

    That said McDonald’s is great, whenever i am having a bad day a Big Mac Combo with real coke is my goto.  The thing about McDonalds is that their food is never bad, because they spend a lot of money to make sure its never bad.  I mean a lot of money.  They hire top tier chefs to develop the recipe and process to ensure this and have a building where they even test the restaurant lay outs.

    The problem with McDonald’s is that they forgot who they are and are trying to be something they aren’t its not working for them.  They would be a better “progressive burger company” if they leveraged their international ubiquitous presence and had a monthly whats hot somewhere else in the world special.  They could save on menu development, and drive trends instead of whatever it is they are doing.

    In the order of things I like:

    1.) Big Mac

    2.) Royal Red Robin Burger

    3.) Double Whopper with cheese

    4.) Five Guys bacon cheeseburger

    5.) Hardees Frisco Burger

    • #2
  3. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Jim Wright (View Comment):
    Impeach.

    If the Colonel’s in reach, you must impeach?

    You cats are rough.

    • #3
  4. Ed G. Member
    Ed G.
    @EdG

    Guruforhire (View Comment):
    When KFC is good, its good, when its bad its really bad.

    …..

    My thoughts exactly. Trouble is, it’s good only 60% of the time. If it were closer to 80% I could live with that kind of risk factor.

    • #4
  5. Rodin Member
    Rodin
    @Rodin

    Yes, Trump’s true crime is plebeian taste. That he would put fried chicken on a gold charger is beyond the pale. The Estates General must flow into the streets and guillotine the rabble.

    • #5
  6. Hoyacon Member
    Hoyacon
    @Hoyacon

    As long as it has a bone in it, I’m OK (although advantage Popeye’s).  I try to avoid anything that is more fried batter than actual chicken (or, in some cases, alleged “popcorn” shrimp).  Hopefully, for the Prez’s arteries, he avoids popcorn chicken.

    Chick-Fil-A is VG, but in a different category since I can’t possibly be objective about any business that annoys the left.  They are the Hobby Lobby of chicken.

     

    • #6
  7. Guruforhire Inactive
    Guruforhire
    @Guruforhire

    I thought it was the ketchup on steak well done that was the true crime against all that is right and holy?

    • #7
  8. wilber forge Inactive
    wilber forge
    @wilberforge

    Do not mind KFC from time to time, save what passes for KFC here in Mexico is awful, something lost in translation I guess.

     

    • #8
  9. Matt Balzer Member
    Matt Balzer
    @MattBalzer

    Michael Graham: Although I do have to ask… fish sandwich? At a burger joint? Puh-LEASE.

    • #9
  10. Hang On Member
    Hang On
    @HangOn

    Chicken 65 from a kadhai is the best fast food on the planet. You don’t know your fast food.

    • #10
  11. Manny Coolidge
    Manny
    @Manny

    Believe it or not, there are KFC scents for home and bath and even sunscreen.  Just Google it.  Some people can’t get enough of it.  Not me but I don’t consider this an impeachable offense, unless he scents the White House with it.  Then maybe.  ; )

    • #11
  12. Guruforhire Inactive
    Guruforhire
    @Guruforhire

    Hang On (View Comment):
    Chicken 65 from a kadhai is the best fast food on the planet. You don’t know your fast food.

    You are incorrect.  A Doner Kebab mit Kase from a Turkish street vendor in Germany is the best fast food on the planet.

    • #12
  13. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival
    • Hardee’s over Five Guys.
    • Best fried chicken in Peoria is by an Italian restaurant named Bernardi’s Pub. Best fried chicken on the planet is White Fence Farm in Joliet. If you disagree, you’re just wrong.
    • McDonalds is swill, but it is reliable swill. I had a burger in Beaver, Utah from some Mom-and-Pop joint — like to have killed me.
    • #13
  14. Guruforhire Inactive
    Guruforhire
    @Guruforhire

    Manny (View Comment):
    Believe it or not, there are KFC scents for home and bath and even sunscreen. Just Google it. Some people can’t get enough of it. Not me but I don’t consider this an impeachable offense, unless he scents the White House with it. Then maybe. ; )

    I was interviewed by the company who implement the machines that pump cinnabon smell into malls.

    • #14
  15. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Percival (View Comment):
    Best fried chicken on the planet is White Fence Farm in Joliet. If you disagree, you’re just wrong.

    He’s right, you know.

    • #15
  16. Hang On Member
    Hang On
    @HangOn

    Guruforhire (View Comment):

    You are incorrect. A Doner Kebab mit Kase from a Turkish street vendor in Germany is the best fast food on the planet.

    Mit Käse? I’m intrigued. Never had it with cheese and the ones I’ve had were in London – and it was Cypriots. Still with tahini? Tahini is even better than cheese. Shall we start a German-English war as to who has the best doner kebabs?

     

    • #16
  17. Guruforhire Inactive
    Guruforhire
    @Guruforhire

    Hang On (View Comment):

    Guruforhire (View Comment):

    You are incorrect. A Doner Kebab mit Kase from a Turkish street vendor in Germany is the best fast food on the planet.

    Mit Käse? I’m intrigued. Never had it with cheese and the ones I’ve had were in London – and it was Cypriots. Still with tahini? Tahini is even better than cheese. Shall we start a German-English war as to who has the best doner kebabs?

    German is better than both the ones I have had in London and the US.  Its so good I am not even mad about being a victim of an honest to god hate crime by being knocked out cold in an unprovoked bar clearing brawl in Germany.  Its totally worth not being able to breathe out of one nostril.

    • #17
  18. Hang On Member
    Hang On
    @HangOn

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):
    Best fried chicken on the planet is White Fence Farm in Joliet. If you disagree, you’re just wrong.

    He’s right, you know.

    You know that people who don’t like bacon (me) also don’t like fried chicken, right?

    • #18
  19. Hang On Member
    Hang On
    @HangOn

    Guruforhire (View Comment):
    German is better than both the ones I have had in London and the US. Its so good I am not even mad about being a victim of an honest to god hate crime by being knocked out cold in an unprovoked bar clearing brawl in Germany. Its totally worth not being able to breathe out of one nostril.

    I’d never be able to provide such a recommendation for doner kebab, so I yield. Actually, I prefer falafel to doner kebab I must admit.

    • #19
  20. RyanFalcone Member
    RyanFalcone
    @RyanFalcone

    I got food poisoning at a KFC in college. I didn’t go back for over ten years. Some friends brought some over for a get-together a few years ago and I had totally forgotten how great it is! I especially love their gravy! I had Bojangles for the first time this past summer and have been in mourning that there aren’t any near me.

    As far as fast food burgers, I have friends like some of you on this board who go nuts over one vs the others. I just laugh at it all. They all taste OK to me but they aren’t anything great. I had a buddy tell me for ten years that 5-Guys was the greatest. One finally opened here a few years ago and he dragged us all to it. I half expected to have an orgasm while eating the thing from all the hype. In the end, it was good but nothing special.

    • #20
  21. Ed G. Member
    Ed G.
    @EdG

    Percival (View Comment):

    • …… Best fried chicken on the planet is White Fence Farm in Joliet. If you disagree, you’re just wrong.
    • ….

    Amen amen! The branch on 39th and Harlem is good too.

    Brown’s Chicken get’s a prize in the best supporting side category for their fried mushrooms.

    • #21
  22. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Guruforhire (View Comment):

    Hang On (View Comment):
    Chicken 65 from a kadhai is the best fast food on the planet. You don’t know your fast food.

    You are incorrect. A Doner Kebab mit Kase from a Turkish street vendor in Germany is the best fast food on the planet.

    The EU is giving serious consideration to outlawing doner kebab, because not enough people hate Brussels yet, I guess.

    Doner kebab mit kase? My square-headed cousins would put cheese on ice cream if there wasn’t anybody there to stop them.

    • #22
  23. Michael Graham Member
    Michael Graham
    @MichaelGraham

    Jim Wright (View Comment):
    Impeach.

    +1!

    • #23
  24. Michael Graham Member
    Michael Graham
    @MichaelGraham

    Guruforhire (View Comment):
    I thought it was the ketchup on steak well done that was the true crime against all that is right and holy?

    That’s NEXT week’s podcast. Don’t rush me, boy….

    • #24
  25. Hang On Member
    Hang On
    @HangOn

    RyanFalcone (View Comment):
    They all taste OK to me but they aren’t anything great. I had a buddy tell me for ten years that 5-Guys was the greatest. One finally opened here a few years ago and he dragged us all to it. I half expected to have an orgasm while eating the thing from all the hype. In the end, it was good but nothing special.

    5-Guys burgers aren’t much and they have the world’s worst fries. Between the fries and the stink of rancid peanuts, not a fan.

    • #25
  26. Ed G. Member
    Ed G.
    @EdG

    RyanFalcone (View Comment):
    I got food poisoning at a KFC in college. I didn’t go back for over ten years. Some friends brought some over for a get-together a few years ago and I had totally forgotten how great it is! I especially love their gravy!

    …..

    I had similar experience with Popeyes some six years ago. Over Christmas vacation, it was so bad I passed out and was taken to the emergency room. But I rallied eventually, thankfully – got to get my red beans and rice!

    • #26
  27. Hang On Member
    Hang On
    @HangOn

    Percival (View Comment):
    My square-headed cousins would put cheese on ice cream if there wasn’t anybody there to stop them.

    They should go to a good Filipino place. It’s a regular desert. I guess they didn’t get the memo to be stopped.

    • #27
  28. Front Seat Cat Member
    Front Seat Cat
    @FrontSeatCat

    Well then it has to be just more fake news because he would never order a chocolate shake – everyone knows he’s a vanilla shake fanatic.

    • #28
  29. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Hang On (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):
    Best fried chicken on the planet is White Fence Farm in Joliet. If you disagree, you’re just wrong.

    He’s right, you know.

    You know that people who don’t like bacon (me) also don’t like fried chicken, right?

    And you’re admitting to both openly on the Internet?

    • #29
  30. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Ed G. (View Comment):
    Brown’s Chicken get’s a prize in the best supporting side category for their fried mushrooms.

    Oh, man. The times I burned my mouth because I couldn’t wait to pop one of those.

    • #30
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