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Quote of the Day: Old Love Letters
Dear Jon,
The great love I have hitherto expressed to you
Is false, and I find my indifference toward you
increases daily. The more I hear from you, the more
you appear in my eyes an object of contempt.
I feel myself in every way disposed and determined,
to hate you. Believe me, I never had any intention
to give you my hand. Our last conversation has
left a tedious insipidity, it has by no means
given me a most exalted idea of your character
Your temper makes me extremely unhappy
and if you and I were united, I would experience nothing but
the hatred of my parents added to the everlasting dis-
pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
to bestow, but I do not desire you to imagine it
at your disposal. I could not give it to anyone more
inconsistent and capricious than yourself, or less
capable to do honor to my choice and family.
Yes – I hope that you will be persuaded that
I speak sincerely and you will do me a favor
to avoid me. I shall excuse your taking the trouble
to answer this. Your letters are always full of
impertinence, and you have not a shadow of
wit and good sense. Adieu, adieu, believe me
so adverse to you that it is impossible for me ever
to be your humble and affectionate servant.
P.S. I’ve changed my mind. Please begin again and read every other line.
I found the above “letter” among my mother’s belongings after her passing. I have no idea how old the letter is, or if it was ever once a common practice to write letters conveying two, contrary, messages — just for the fun of it. I don’t think the letter was actually ever written to a particular person, but I suppose it could have been. Nonetheless, a curious letter, and fun to read.
Whatever it’s history, it is a novel way of saying: I’m just not sure.
That’s amazing! Very novel!
I think that this is terrible
and just a horrible as it can be,
that I have to reveal to you that
you have completely wasted my time, and
if I ever read something else like this from you
I think you’d be silly to think
I would ask you to marry me.
Or maybe I am confused and I meant for you to read every other sentence.
:) Pretty good.
What a treasure the letter is. I would frame it and put it up on a wall some place where it would inspire a laugh. :)
Love it!
There is a highly sadistic poetic form known as the Faceted Diamond that is three poems in one. If you like puzzles of this sort, that is a good one.
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I’m still laughing, well done! Thanks.
Good idea. It always makes me smile when I come across it while looking for something else.
How fun!
Ha! I saw something like that coming! Well done.
Excellent.
Good stuff!
That is quite a unique “Dear Jon” letter. Delightful!
I’ve never heard of such a thing! What a masterpiece! And it was great fun to read it the second time. Thanks for sharing it with us, TT.
Just shows what people could do with their time before the internet.
Spectacular!
Now the bar is set even higher on the Quote of the Day so that next month I will have to find something especially interesting!!
Wonderful!
I read it trying to remember which Jane Austen book it was from.
I got one worse than that once without the PS.
However many years ago, this was all the rage. Now? Cat memes. Thanks for posting this.