Ricochet Member Recommended FeedRecommended by R> Members

Prince of Darkness Public Library Storytime

 

Sacramento, CA – Local public libraries throughout California are thrilled to announce that Satan, otherwise known as the Prince of Darkness, Lord of the Underworld, Lucifer, and many other fun names, has begun to read to preschoolers and other young children to show them how to be more inclusive and accepting of alternative lifestyles. Previous storytime sessions that featured drag queens, dressed as servants or brides of Satan, met with some controversy.

As one State Department of Education official in Sacramento related, “Well, we did have a few complaints. Many parents told us that they really wanted a more authoritative figure to enlighten their children, so our department reached out to several state legislators who had already had direct contact with the Lord of the Underworld for various initiatives or for campaign support and were able to arrange a meeting. Happily, Satan was quite excited about the idea and was quick to agree. He even waived any monetary fees for his services though he did imply that other types of payments might be required. We believe the state’s general fund can cover whatever he has in mind.”

The program seems to have gone off without a hitch with the exception of one incident in Reseda when a librarian insisted on seeing Satan’s credentials to verify that he wasn’t an imposter. Unfortunately, the librarian was instantly levitated and then impaled upon a large iron pronged fork that the Prince of Darkness occasionally carries with him for show-and-tell purposes. A few eyewitnesses related that Satan then said, with discernable irritation in his resonant deep, guttural voice, “There you go. Those are my credentials.”

A memorial service for the librarian is scheduled for Wednesday of next week.

Asked for a response to the program’s announcement one enthusiastic Marin County couple stated, “We are so excited about this program. It’s important for our daughters to learn that they have options on how they can live their lives and develop the skillsets to deal with bigoted, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, or otherwise rude comments as they grow up. We think Satan can offer some much-needed help in this area. He’s clearly dealt with a lot of rude people and knows what it’s like to be ostracized.”

The program’s announcement states that children can be dropped off at their local library when Satan conducts his storytime sessions and parents need not attend. Librarians and several lesser demons from various deeper levels of Hell will be on hand to serve refreshments and help the children engage in many fun games and role-playing activities.

For more information on the program, contact your state legislator’s office.

Published in General
This post was promoted to the Main Feed by a Ricochet Editor at the recommendation of Ricochet members. Like this post? Want to comment? Join Ricochet’s growing community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Get your first month free.

There are 48 comments.

  1. 1
  2. 2
  1. Member

    I’ll be holding a seance to bring back Daniel Webster.

    • #1
    • October 18, 2017 at 12:21 pm
    • 9 likes
  2. Member

    Things are taking a turn for the worse in Britain’s school system so a story like this would not surprise me,

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/2017/04/17/teach-toddlers-transgender-issues-national-union-teachers-say/

    https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/jul/12/rise-in-trans-children-puts-british-schools-to-the-test

    This insanity over the last 8 years is like a Pandora’s Box flew open – I’m not sure it started with Obama but it sure got plenty of fuel.

    Wait a minute….I thought this was a spoof post? I just realized it’s not!!!! YIKES!

    http://www.oregonlive.com/trending/2016/10/after_school_satan_club_pushes.html

    • #2
    • October 18, 2017 at 12:52 pm
    • 3 likes
  3. Moderator

    Paging @arahant

    • #3
    • October 18, 2017 at 1:29 pm
    • 1 like
  4. Member

    Front Seat Cat (View Comment):
    Things are taking a turn for the worse in Britain’s school system so a story like this would not surprise me,

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/2017/04/17/teach-toddlers-transgender-issues-national-union-teachers-say/

    https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/jul/12/rise-in-trans-children-puts-british-schools-to-the-test

    This insanity over the last 8 years is like a Pandora’s Box flew open – I’m not sure it started with Obama but it sure got plenty of fuel.

    Wait a minute….I thought this was a spoof post? I just realized it’s not!!!! YIKES!

    http://www.oregonlive.com/trending/2016/10/after_school_satan_club_pushes.html

    Ok. Now I’m confused.

    Those are both spoofs. Right?!?

    You know you’re living in strange times when it’s hard to tell…

    • #4
    • October 18, 2017 at 1:36 pm
    • 2 likes
  5. Member

    Will he be giving guitar lessons at midnight down at the crossroads?

    • #5
    • October 18, 2017 at 1:45 pm
    • 11 likes
  6. Member

    The devil is always in the details.

    • #6
    • October 18, 2017 at 2:24 pm
    • 6 likes
  7. Member

    SkipSul (View Comment):
    Paging @arahant

    Why?

    • #7
    • October 18, 2017 at 2:44 pm
    • 1 like
  8. Member

    Hang On (View Comment):
    Will he be giving guitar lessons at midnight down at the crossroads?

    No. But he’ll be losing his fiddle made of gold to Johnny.

    • #8
    • October 18, 2017 at 2:59 pm
    • 11 likes
  9. Member

    Your tax dollars at work.

    • #9
    • October 18, 2017 at 3:44 pm
    • 4 likes
  10. Member

    Dr. Bastiat (View Comment):

    Front Seat Cat (View Comment):
    Things are taking a turn for the worse in Britain’s school system so a story like this would not surprise me,

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/2017/04/17/teach-toddlers-transgender-issues-national-union-teachers-say/

    https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/jul/12/rise-in-trans-children-puts-british-schools-to-the-test

    This insanity over the last 8 years is like a Pandora’s Box flew open – I’m not sure it started with Obama but it sure got plenty of fuel.

    Wait a minute….I thought this was a spoof post? I just realized it’s not!!!! YIKES!

    http://www.oregonlive.com/trending/2016/10/after_school_satan_club_pushes.html

    Ok. Now I’m confused.

    Those are both spoofs. Right?!?

    You know you’re living in strange times when it’s hard to tell…

    Your last line made me laugh and I needed a laugh today! And no, both are true……strange times….

    • #10
    • October 18, 2017 at 4:41 pm
    • 2 likes
  11. Member

    Kozak (View Comment):
    Your tax dollars at work.

    I heard about this on the radio and could not believe it was true either – I am continuously shocked at how people are pushing the envelope – now children are the victims of it

    • #11
    • October 18, 2017 at 4:44 pm
    • 5 likes
  12. Member

    Front Seat Cat (View Comment):
    now children are the victims of it

    Get ’em young. Train ’em “right.”

    • #12
    • October 18, 2017 at 4:46 pm
    • 3 likes
  13. Member

    You can checkout any time you like, but you can never leave.

    Welcome to the Library California.

    • #13
    • October 18, 2017 at 5:13 pm
    • 18 likes
  14. Member

    One of my favorite videos: Charlie Daniels at the Grand Ole Opry.

    • #14
    • October 18, 2017 at 6:10 pm
    • 2 likes
  15. Member

    Maybe 25 years ago NPR had a story about a school in Alaska that was engaging in sun worship. No, not the California kind. In this case the teacher had the kids praying to the sun on the occasion of the summer solstice. They didn’t call it praying, but that’s what they were doing.

    • #15
    • October 18, 2017 at 7:05 pm
    • 2 likes
  16. Member

    The Reticulator (View Comment):
    Maybe 25 years ago NPR had a story about a school in Alaska that was engaging in sun worship. No, not the California kind. In this case the teacher had the kids praying to the sun on the occasion of the summer solstice. They didn’t call it praying, but that’s what they were doing.

    Of course, that was before the left learned about science.

    • #16
    • October 18, 2017 at 7:06 pm
    • 3 likes
  17. Thatcher

    Ambrose Bierce helped to compile Lucifer’s dictionary, right? Will the Father of Lies be reading from it, perchance? (Eeeeekkkkk! by the way.)

    • #17
    • October 18, 2017 at 9:29 pm
    • 2 likes
  18. Member
    Brian Watt Post author

    Dr. Bastiat (View Comment):

    Front Seat Cat (View Comment):
    Things are taking a turn for the worse in Britain’s school system so a story like this would not surprise me,

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/2017/04/17/teach-toddlers-transgender-issues-national-union-teachers-say/

    https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/jul/12/rise-in-trans-children-puts-british-schools-to-the-test

    This insanity over the last 8 years is like a Pandora’s Box flew open – I’m not sure it started with Obama but it sure got plenty of fuel.

    Wait a minute….I thought this was a spoof post? I just realized it’s not!!!! YIKES!

    http://www.oregonlive.com/trending/2016/10/after_school_satan_club_pushes.html

    Ok. Now I’m confused.

    Those are both spoofs. Right?!?

    You know you’re living in strange times when it’s hard to tell…

    Oh, I’m just getting started…Boston Library Has Anti-Catholic Drag Queens Read to Children for Pride Month

    • #18
    • October 19, 2017 at 12:47 am
    • 2 likes
  19. Member
    Brian Watt Post author

    The drag queen public library story hour for children phenomenon appears to be at least two to three years old and now occurs in public libraries in every metropolitan area in the United States and Canada. A Google search using the words “drag queen public library” yielded 980,000 separate results.

    It seems plainly obvious that this is an orchestrated movement by those more strident activists on the Left to indoctrinate children as young as pre-schoolers, generally unconcerned about sexual matters, to accept transgenderism as a viable lifestyle or life path. Transgenderism was once diagnosed as a mental illness and many in the psychiatric and psychology community still consider it so because it still exhibits a disturbingly much higher rate of suicide than the heterosexual population.

    For Left-leaning parents, the drag queen story hours provide an opportunity to bolster their own efforts to indoctrinate their children apart from some of the post-modernist/neo-Marxist curricula that their children are immersed in in the public school system.

    Conservative commentators elsewhere have noted that attempting to offer public library story hours that promote American exceptionalism, a positive perspective on the American Idea or the country’s founding would clearly be rejected by many state and local authorities who administer these programs. Consider this taxation without representation. And you thought we had taken care of that.

    For decades now Americans (and Canadians) have permitted the Left to indoctrinate their children about the false utopian visions of socialism, the apparent evils of capitalism, white privilege and more and allowed those intent on dismantling and destroying the values of western civilization to take over the education system from K-12 through college. As Jordan Peterson has said on numerous occasions, if you have the opportunity to send your children to a private school, do so…and…that the Humanities in universities have been thoroughly corrupted.

    But for the activists on the Left – whether they’re school teachers and administrators, bureaucrats in local or state government, business owners, or billionaires fueling the BLM, Antifa, or numerous activist groups, that’s not enough. It’s never enough. Preschoolers need to be carefully taught and thoroughly brought into the fold and drag queens, satanists, and Marxists are standing by to help with the effort.

    • #19
    • October 19, 2017 at 1:53 am
    • 7 likes
  20. Member

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Front Seat Cat (View Comment):
    now children are the victims of it

    Get ’em young. Train ’em “right.”

     Give me a child until he is seven and I will give you the man”

    Jesuit motto

    • #20
    • October 19, 2017 at 5:43 am
    • 1 like
  21. Member

    Jules PA (View Comment):
    You can checkout any time you like, but you can never leave.

    Welcome to the Library California.

    A real life Twilight Zone episode…….

    • #21
    • October 19, 2017 at 7:13 am
    • 3 likes
  22. Coolidge

    It is amazing but a LOT of Librarians are on the far left. I looked at the books in the children’s section of my local library during september and there were a bunch of books on gay pride, and gay rights displayed in front because September is Pride month. Just like they would display Halloween books for October. It’s crazy. This is pure indoctrination. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that someone thought it was a good idea to have a drag queen story hour for little kids, and that parents actually bring their kids to it regularly. Usually, I try to see the other side to try to understand their argument (even if it’s wrong, I just want to understand their thinking) but this is baffling. The only thing I can think of, it is just to normalize this stuff, which is pure indoctrination. There is no other reasonable reason, it is purely nefarious.

    • #22
    • October 19, 2017 at 7:27 am
    • 5 likes
  23. Member

    Brian Watt (View Comment):
    The drag queen public library story hour for children phenomenon appears to be at least two to three years old and now occurs in public libraries in every metropolitan area in the United States and Canada. A Google search using the words “drag queen public library” yielded 980,000 separate results.

    It seems plainly obvious that this is an orchestrated movement by those more strident activists on the Left to indoctrinate children as young as pre-schoolers, generally unconcerned about sexual matters, to accept transgenderism as a viable lifestyle or life path. Transgenderism was once diagnosed as a mental illness and many in the psychiatric and psychology community still consider it so because it still exhibits a disturbingly much higher rate of suicide than the heterosexual population.

    For Left-leaning parents, the drag queen story hours provide an opportunity to bolster their own efforts to indoctrinate their children apart from some of the post-modernist/neo-Marxist curricula that their children are immersed in in the public school system.

    Conservative commentators elsewhere have noted that attempting to offer public library story hours that promote American exceptionalism, a positive perspective on the American Idea or the country’s founding would clearly be rejected by many state and local authorities who administer these programs. Consider this taxation without representation. And you thought we had taken care of that.

    For decades now Americans (and Canadians) have permitted the Left to indoctrinate their children about the false utopian visions of socialism, the apparent evils of capitalism, white privilege and more and allowed those intent on dismantling and destroying the values of western civilization to take over the education system from K-12 through college. As Jordan Peterson has said on numerous occasions, if you have the opportunity to send your children to a private school, do so…and…that the Humanities in universities have been thoroughly corrupted.

    But for the activists on the Left – whether they’re school teachers and administrators, bureaucrats in local or state government, business owners, or billionaires fueling the BLM, Antifa, or numerous activist groups, that’s not enough. It’s never enough. Preschoolers need to be carefully taught and thoroughly brought into the fold and drag queens, satanists, and Marxists are standing by to help with the effort.

    Truly shocking – no wonder we have such a tough job trying to restore some semblance of the Judeo-Christian values that our country was founded on – to think that story time for me at the Carnegie library on Sat. with my best friend was Dr. Seuss and Grimm’s by a normally dressed young woman with no agenda, then off to the candy store…now are those stories politically-incorrect?

    • #23
    • October 19, 2017 at 7:30 am
    • 1 like
  24. Member

    Mate De (View Comment):
    It is amazing but a LOT of Librarians are on the far left. I looked at the books in the children’s section of my local library during september and there were a bunch of books on gay pride, and gay rights displayed in front because September is Pride month. Just like they would display Halloween books for October. It’s crazy. This is pure indoctrination. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that someone thought it was a good idea to have a drag queen story hour for little kids, and that parents actually bring their kids to it regularly. Usually, I try to see the other side to try to understand their argument (even if it’s wrong, I just want to understand their thinking) but this is baffling. The only thing I can think of, it is just to normalize this stuff, which is pure indoctrination. There is no other reasonable reason, it is purely nefarious.

    I had no idea – I’m going to look into this – wow!! I hope this story makes it to the Main Feed – it’s scarier than any Halloween horror flick –

    • #24
    • October 19, 2017 at 7:32 am
    • 3 likes
  25. Member
    Brian Watt Post author

    Front Seat Cat (View Comment):

    Brian Watt (View Comment):
    The drag queen public library story hour for children phenomenon appears to be at least two to three years old and now occurs in public libraries in every metropolitan area in the United States and Canada. A Google search using the words “drag queen public library” yielded 980,000 separate results.

    It seems plainly obvious that this is an orchestrated movement by those more strident activists on the Left to indoctrinate children as young as pre-schoolers, generally unconcerned about sexual matters, to accept transgenderism as a viable lifestyle or life path. Transgenderism was once diagnosed as a mental illness and many in the psychiatric and psychology community still consider it so because it still exhibits a disturbingly much higher rate of suicide than the heterosexual population.

    For Left-leaning parents, the drag queen story hours provide an opportunity to bolster their own efforts to indoctrinate their children apart from some of the post-modernist/neo-Marxist curricula that their children are immersed in in the public school system.

    Conservative commentators elsewhere have noted that attempting to offer public library story hours that promote American exceptionalism, a positive perspective on the American Idea or the country’s founding would clearly be rejected by many state and local authorities who administer these programs. Consider this taxation without representation. And you thought we had taken care of that.

    For decades now Americans (and Canadians) have permitted the Left to indoctrinate their children about the false utopian visions of socialism, the apparent evils of capitalism, white privilege and more and allowed those intent on dismantling and destroying the values of western civilization to take over the education system from K-12 through college. As Jordan Peterson has said on numerous occasions, if you have the opportunity to send your children to a private school, do so…and…that the Humanities in universities have been thoroughly corrupted.

    But for the activists on the Left – whether they’re school teachers and administrators, bureaucrats in local or state government, business owners, or billionaires fueling the BLM, Antifa, or numerous activist groups, that’s not enough. It’s never enough. Preschoolers need to be carefully taught and thoroughly brought into the fold and drag queens, satanists, and Marxists are standing by to help with the effort.

    Truly shocking – no wonder we have such a tough job trying to restore some semblance of the Judeo-Christian values that our country was founded on – to think that story time for me at the Carnegie library on Sat. with my best friend was Dr. Seuss and Grimm’s by a normally dressed young woman with no agenda, then off to the candy store…now are those stories politically-incorrect?

    The late (politically liberal) Dr. Seuss (Theodore Geisel) was recently called out by Social Justice Warriors as a racist for his depictions of Chinese in traditional Chinese attire.

    • #25
    • October 19, 2017 at 7:47 am
    • 7 likes
  26. Thatcher

    Wait, why do people care if clowns read to children?

    • #26
    • October 19, 2017 at 7:18 pm
    • Like
  27. Member

    This is so, so sick. It would be considered child abuse in a healthier society.

    • #27
    • October 19, 2017 at 7:24 pm
    • 3 likes
  28. Member

    Mike H (View Comment):
    Wait, why do people care if clowns read to children?

    What do you suppose they’re reading?

    • #28
    • October 19, 2017 at 7:31 pm
    • Like
  29. Thatcher

    Randy Webster (View Comment):

    Mike H (View Comment):
    Wait, why do people care if clowns read to children?

    What do you suppose they’re reading?

    The way people are reacting I’d expect it to be: “How to be a liberal transgender atheist against your reactionary parent’s wishes.”

    • #29
    • October 19, 2017 at 9:36 pm
    • 1 like
  30. Member

    Mike H (View Comment):
    Wait, why do people care if clowns read to children?

    I thought it was because he was being offensive to Demon-Americans.

    • #30
    • October 19, 2017 at 9:39 pm
    • 3 likes
  1. 1
  2. 2