Just What I Need: A Mortality Poke

 

What did you expect? You’re a pale blonde who got her share of peeling sunburns when you were a stupid kid.

But nobody knew any better back then.

So what? Get over it already! It’s just a squamous cell.

But I’ve never had one before. I’ve had a basal cell carcinoma; that’s just pre-cancer. This is the real thing!

Good grief, woman. You’ll go to the skin care center on Tuesday and they’ll dig it out. No big deal.

This morning I received a phone call from the skin cancer center regarding a couple of biopsies they took two weeks ago. One is benign, but the other, on the bridge of my nose, is a squamous cell. When I had the sample taken, the doctor told me a squamous cell requires the same treatment as a basal cell; I’m not sure if that was supposed to be reassuring (it’s easy to treat) or not (we have no better way to treat it).

When the tech called me, he asked me if I knew what Mohs therapy was, and I said I didn’t. He then proceeded to read the pathology report. (That term reminds me of morgues shown on television.) After we made the appointment, I realized I didn’t know how much time to block out; that’s when he remembered to explain the process. It could take one to four hours. Four hours?! He carves out part of my nose, examines the sample, and if the edges aren’t clean, he carves out more, until a sample of my skin has clean edges. Right. So I joked half-heartedly that we could hope for 1-2 hours, right? He chuckled to encourage me. I think.

They’ve done this procedure many, many times, Susan.

Yeah, but it’s on my nose.

Do a little meditation in between their taking samples.

Samples? No, I’m hoping for just one sample.

So what is the big deal? In one way, I try to take this kind of information in stride. But not knowing is never easy for me.


One hour later . . .

Once more, sanity has returned. (I think that’s a good thing.) These kinds of skin treatments, especially in my 55+ community, are not unusual. I’ve heard good things about this center and the doctor.

What does remain, though, is the reminder that my body is decaying. Like everyone else on the face of the earth, I began to die as soon as I was born. And as I get older, the aches and pains show up more often, my memory is more flawed, everything seems to have sped up and slowed down at the same time.

But this is my life, and I’m incredibly grateful for it, squamous cells or not. I can celebrate this day of aliveness and friendships and unfolding. As the Jewish New Year approaches, I am humbled by this gift called life. Thank you Ha-Shem.

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  1. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Praying, Susan.

    • #1
  2. dajoho Member
    dajoho
    @dajoho

    I had a squamous cell carcinoma taken off the center of my back probably a decade ago (I know its not my nose) but have never had a problem since.  It was really minor from my optic. Shalom to you Miss Susan.

    What did you expect? You’re a pale blonde who got her share of peeling sunburns when you were a stupid kid.

    Incidentally I grew up in Nevada skiing and swimming in the Lake Tahoe area.  You are like five feet from the sun up there and I too am terminally white and got my share of blistering sunburns.  I was diagnosed in Hawaii and the doctor told me “you were born to be in a bog, not a tropical island.”

    • #2
  3. Quinn the Eskimo Member
    Quinn the Eskimo
    @

    Good luck.  And Happy New Year.

    • #3
  4. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Susan Quinn: I can celebrate this day of aliveness and friendships and unfolding. As the Jewish New Year approaches, I am humbled by this gift called life. Thank you Ha-Shem.

    And that is the proper focus.

    • #4
  5. PHenry Inactive
    PHenry
    @PHenry

    Thank G-d it doesn’t sound serious.

    Getting old sucks.  But the alternative is worse!

    • #5
  6. Annefy Member
    Annefy
    @Annefy

    I have a dark-skinned Italian friend who has gone through this several times. Twice on her nose that I remember, on her chest and near one eye.

    I saw her each time after the surgeries and worked hard to keep my face expressionless. I thought there was no way she would heal without scarring.

    And she did each time. She looks as fabulous as anyone our age. We live in wondrous times.

    I grew up near where you did, Susan (Redondo Beach, CA) and I am frankly shocked I still have a nose left it pealed so many times. I once had a sunburn on my face that turned purple after a day of skiing. Amazingly, I’ve had no problems.

    My friend’s doc told her that those with light eyes get skin cancer more often and the color of your skin isn’t that big of a deal. Don’t know if it’s true.

    Good luck and don’t panic when you first look in the mirror. My friend cried for hours.

    • #6
  7. Scott Wilmot Member
    Scott Wilmot
    @ScottWilmot

    I had MOHS surgery yesterday on a squamous cell mass on the back of my hand – I had a dime size chunk cut out – the doc said he got it all and it wasn’t at all painful nor is it now. Yesterday was surgery day at this dermatology center and I was one of probably 20 patients going through the same thing.

    It certainly is more traumatic having it done on your face, but the technique is sound and I pray you come through healthy and happy and without any scarring.

    • #7
  8. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    dajoho (View Comment):
    I had a squamous cell carcinoma taken off the center of my back probably a decade ago (I know its not my nose) but have never had a problem since. It was really minor from my optic. Shalom to you Miss Susan.

    Yeah, there’s something about my nose. It’s not a vanity thing. I do know the needle for numbing it for the sample hurt. See, I’m such a wuss. Thanks for the encouragement. Oh, I grew up in So. Calif. Lots of sun.

    • #8
  9. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Quinn the Eskimo (View Comment):
    Good luck. And Happy New Year.

    Thanks, and l’shana tova to you, too, Quinn

    • #9
  10. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Annefy (View Comment):
    Good luck and don’t panic when you first look in the mirror. My friend cried for hours.

    The basal cell I had was also removed from my nose. The doctor gently berated me for waiting so long to go in, it went so deep. By the time she finished, I swear it looked like a hole in my head! But it also healed without a mark. Yes, these are great times. My eyes are blue–I’ll bet yours are brown. Darn!

    • #10
  11. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Scott Wilmot (View Comment):
    I had MOHS surgery yesterday on a squamous cell mass on the back of my hand – I had a dime size chunk cut out – the doc said he got it all and it wasn’t at all painful nor is it now. Yesterday was surgery day at this dermatology center and I was one of probably 20 patients going through the same thing.

    It certainly is more traumatic having it done on your face, but the technique is sound and I pray you come through healthy and happy and without any scarring.

    Your words are reassuring, Scott. Thanks.

    • #11
  12. Annefy Member
    Annefy
    @Annefy

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):

    Annefy (View Comment):
    Good luck and don’t panic when you first look in the mirror. My friend cried for hours.

    The basal cell I had was also removed from my nose. The doctor gently berated me for waiting so long to go in, it went so deep. By the time she finished, I swear it looked like a hole in my head! But it also healed without a mark. Yes, these are great times. My eyes are blue–I’ll bet yours are brown. Darn!

    Dark, dark hazel. Just like everyone in my family. My friend’s are strikingly light green. I also have never worn sunglasses; I read somewhere that your body has natural defenses against the sun and wearing sunglasses prevents those defenses from being activated.

    • #12
  13. Mike H Inactive
    Mike H
    @MikeH

    Annefy (View Comment):

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):

    Annefy (View Comment):
    Good luck and don’t panic when you first look in the mirror. My friend cried for hours.

    The basal cell I had was also removed from my nose. The doctor gently berated me for waiting so long to go in, it went so deep. By the time she finished, I swear it looked like a hole in my head! But it also healed without a mark. Yes, these are great times. My eyes are blue–I’ll bet yours are brown. Darn!

    Dark, dark hazel. Just like everyone in my family. My friend’s are strikingly light green. I also have never worn sunglasses; I read somewhere that your body has natural defenses against the sun and wearing sunglasses prevents those defenses from being activated.

    Any of your body’s defences are probably inadequate if you wish to keep everything working as long as possible. Better not to need them than rely on them.

    • #13
  14. Annefy Member
    Annefy
    @Annefy

    Mike H (View Comment):

    Annefy (View Comment):

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):

    Annefy (View Comment):
    Good luck and don’t panic when you first look in the mirror. My friend cried for hours.

    The basal cell I had was also removed from my nose. The doctor gently berated me for waiting so long to go in, it went so deep. By the time she finished, I swear it looked like a hole in my head! But it also healed without a mark. Yes, these are great times. My eyes are blue–I’ll bet yours are brown. Darn!

    Dark, dark hazel. Just like everyone in my family. My friend’s are strikingly light green. I also have never worn sunglasses; I read somewhere that your body has natural defenses against the sun and wearing sunglasses prevents those defenses from being activated.

    Any of your body’s defences are probably inadequate if you wish to keep everything working as long as possible. Better not to need them than rely on them.

    Agreed. Am vain enough to lather on the sunscreen.

    • #14
  15. MarciN Member
    MarciN
    @MarciN

    Prayers going your way. :)

     

    • #15
  16. Hang On Member
    Hang On
    @HangOn

    All the best, Susan.

    • #16
  17. Manny Coolidge
    Manny
    @Manny

    You’ll be in my prayers Susan.  I too got a bunch of bad sunburns as a kid.  My mother thought putting us out into the blazing sun was good for us.

    Have a good holiday.

    • #17
  18. Trink Coolidge
    Trink
    @Trink

    Susan Quinn:What does remain, though, is the reminder that my body is decaying. Like everyone else on the face of the earth, I began to die as soon as I was born. And as I get older, the aches and pains show up more often, my memory is more flawed, everything seems to have sped up and slowed down at the same time.

    But this is my life, and I’m incredibly grateful for it,

    It’s so big, Susan.  I’m well ahead of you in life.  And for me, the one benefit of the increasing daily reminders of my mortality is the incentive to get our material lives in order.  The trouble is – the physical effort would sure be easier with a younger body :)  And yes, practice gratitude.  It’s a good antidote to the darker ruminations.

    • #18
  19. Nanda Panjandrum Member
    Nanda Panjandrum
    @

    Prayers/Panda Hugs/Baruch Hashem, SQ!

    • #19
  20. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Trink (View Comment):
    It’s so big, Susan. I’m well ahead of you in life. And for me, the one benefit of the increasing daily reminders of my mortality is the incentive to get our material lives in order. The trouble is – the physical effort would sure be easier with a younger body :) And yes, practice gratitude. It’s a good antidote to the darker ruminations.

    Thanks, Trink. I know a number of people who are in your situation trying to clear out their personal collection of stuff in consideration of their families. And yes, we all can testify that it gets harder as time goes on. It’s a little off topic, but we spread out our hurricane preparation over three days, clearing off our lanai and other tasks. It made a huge difference in our fatigue level. And as you say, there’s always gratitude!

    • #20
  21. Mole-eye Inactive
    Mole-eye
    @Moleeye

    May the Lord grant you a very minor surgery and a speedy recovery, Susan.  Best wishes always.  Happy New Year!

    • #21
  22. Doug Kimball Thatcher
    Doug Kimball
    @DougKimball

    Moh’s surgery is a procedure where they continually evaluate the tissue removed to make sure that the margins around the cancer are clear.  It takes a while longer but pretty much ensures it won’t return.  Squamous is not entirely cosmetic, like basel; it can spread (become metatastic) though squamous skin cancers rarely do.  (I had squamous cell cancer removed from my ear.)  If Doc is reading this he can probably confirm this.  Melanoma is the one to fear.  It’s a skin cancer that can go rogue and move quickly.

    Good luck!

    • #22
  23. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Mike H (View Comment):
    Any of your body’s defences are probably inadequate if you wish to keep everything working as long as possible. Better not to need them than rely on them.

    I use ten-inches of brick and plaster wall as a sun-block.

    • #23
  24. EHerring Coolidge
    EHerring
    @EHerring

    My visits to the dermatologist have done wonders for the liquid nitrogen business.  It is such a blessing to live in such times where these things can be taken care of before they become bad.  Do what the doctor says and enjoy life.  I have a few of the solar PF shirts for when I don’t want to lather up my arms.  Hats are cool.  I have a 94 year old neighbor who still rides a three-wheel bike, drives, does yard work, and runs trash to the collection station.  We aren’t dying yet…just showing a little wear and tear.

    • #24
  25. Postmodern Hoplite Coolidge
    Postmodern Hoplite
    @PostmodernHoplite

    May the Lord bless and keep you, and hold you close always!

    Many happy returns for the New Year!

    • #25
  26. I Walton Member
    I Walton
    @IWalton

    I’ve had dozens cut off, about 8 with mohs, four of those on my nose.     The same types who do mohs do face lifts and such.   My guy was a real artist. Don’t worry, just find a good surgeon.

    • #26
  27. Western Chauvinist Member
    Western Chauvinist
    @WesternChauvinist

    Doug Kimball (View Comment):
    Melanoma is the one to fear. It’s a skin cancer that can go rogue and move quickly.

    Even melanoma isn’t always a killer. A friend was diagnosed with melanoma probably ten years ago. But, the prostate cancer will probably do what the melanoma didn’t.

    Getting old is the worst, other than the alternative.

    Best of luck, Susan! Hopefully this will be a small speed bump in the rear view mirror a few years from now and you will have learned what life is trying to teach. Something like — wear a visor when you go outside! ;-)

    • #27
  28. Kim K. Inactive
    Kim K.
    @KimK

    Our son had a squamous taken off his upper lip when he was 19! He thought it was a cold sore that wouldn’t go away and even the dermatologist who took the initial biopsy thought it was a benign granular something or other. He had Mohs (two or three cuts) and let me tell you, lips REALLY swell up. He let me change the dressing for two days because he couldn’t bear to look in the mirror. He healed up nicely but still has a tiny scar.

    To this day he is absolutely fanatical about avoiding the sun. (We live where it is sunny 360 days out of the year and summer temps are routinely in the 110 range.) He wears a hat whenever he’s outside and always long sleeves. He’ll probably have the skin of a 20-year old when he’s 60.

    • #28
  29. Franz Drumlin Inactive
    Franz Drumlin
    @FranzDrumlin

    These are the consequences of dragging our fragile bags of protoplasm through time and space. Dings and scrapes are to be expected. They are welcome signs that we have lived a full life, which includes moving about in the full light of the sun (though sunblock and hats are recommended). I had a basal cell thingy (I hate to type the word carcinoma) removed from my cheek a couple of years ago. Mohs surgery is more involved then wart removal but not by much. The dermatologist and I talked about cycling in the midwest during the procedure. Two weeks later you could barely tell anything had happened to my face. You’ll be fine.

    • #29
  30. Front Seat Cat Member
    Front Seat Cat
    @FrontSeatCat

    Mole-eye (View Comment):
    May the Lord grant you a very minor surgery and a speedy recovery, Susan. Best wishes always. Happy New Year!

    I second this wish to you Susan. Your humor and great life perspective always shines through and will see you to the other side – “This too shall pass”.  My friend’s husband had the same thing on tip of nose – he has been ok for a long time – God bless – eesshhh – I better be more careful here in FL with the sunscreen…..

    • #30
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