I’m not a doctor but I know enough about medicine to know that a fever is not an illness in itself but a symptom of a larger underlying problem. And right now, America has a raging fever.
Most fevers are caused by infections. The political and punditry classes have diagnosed the problem as Donaldus Trumpitis, a relatively new disease some are describing as a cancer. But more likely than not, this case of the DTs is not the disease itself but just the manifestation of the fever.
Impeachment is a giant analgesic. The chemists at Founding Father Pharmaceuticals designed this medication so that the only way to administer it was rectally. And the suppository that delivers it is specifically designed to be extraordinarily large and very uncomfortable to the patient. We’re talking the Costco-Extra-Large-Double-Pack-of-Vaseline uncomfortable.
Even if the medication is successfully administered and the temperature is brought down temporarily, what happens to the infection, the real cause of the problem? It will probably spread and in the long run the fever will return, twice as bad as before and more resistant to the Constitutional medication previously forced down our … er, up our … well, you know what I mean.
Before Trump won the nomination there was a lot of talk in GOP circles that the primary process needed to be changed. Trump was looked at as the rash they picked up while sleeping with a skanky Democrat after one-too-many shots of “corn likker” before the Iowa Caucuses. They secretly admired the other party’s superdelegate system that served as a giant condom against STDs (Socialist Transmitted Diseases.) It held back the Bern for a while but they still got a Marxian tumor that’s metastasizing rapidly.
The patient continues to describe the rest of the symptoms: wealth concentrated around the actions of government, stagnation and despair in the heartland, a crushing assault on freedom of speech and intellectual diversity, and a general sense of disconnect in Washington where more and more of everyday life is controlled by a nameless, faceless, unaccountable bureaucracy.
The doctors are refusing to listen. They insist that if the fever is dealt with then life will return to the status quo that they are comfortable with, regardless of the discomfort of the patient. That, put simply, is malpractice.Published in