Everyone Does Not See Racism Everyday…

 

Racism. Goodness, I am so tired of seeing this word or accusations of it. I am tired of people inflating issues to make it seem like the issues surrounding race or skin color today is akin to the racism of old. I believe that it is not.

I honestly do try to be patient and understanding to others’ feelings. Obviously, everyone is not me and, therefore, they will not see everything as I do. However, it is getting tiring to see continued news about it.

I keep wishing that people will go to sleep one day, then wake up the next and see skin color in an entirely new light. Then, we would see each other in a new light, possibly. But the realist in me knows that another issue would abound in a matter of moments because we are deeply flawed creatures and we tend to create much of the hell that we’re in.

This post was sparked by seeing a thread on Twitter dealing with a person’s view of racism. I respect this individual – Mrs. Trillia Newbell – as she has been a wonderful writer and speaker in my opinion. But when I saw her posts, I automatically had questions.

She wrote: “y’all know this racism hate isn’t a game, right?”

The questions in my mind: “Who is she speaking to really? Does she think most of her followers (who can obviously see that she is an African American woman) take “racism hate” as a game? And why would she think that?”

She wrote: “The effects of seeing racism every single day is deeply painful. It isn’t just something we talk about, it’s something we feel.”

The questions in my mind: “Does she (or others) really see it ‘every single day?’ Who sees it? What qualifies as racism to her (or them)? Does she believe that her followers (or let’s say it: Caucasian people) see it as all talk and nothing that she and other African Americans feel?”

She wrote: “Last thing: And when you truly begin to love, you won’t roll your eyes ‘here they go again’ at their pain. You will weep.”

The questions in my mind: “Who is actually rolling their eyes? Is it really that they don’t care or are they just tired of the ‘every white person is a racist’ or ‘every white person does not care about my being black’ shtick?”

I am not trying to be insensitive here or not be empathetic. But I wonder sometimes if people really don’t understand that they are overgeneralizing a bit.

Speaking for myself: I do not see racism every day and I am an African American male those works in a community of mostly Caucasian people. I am not trying to push some idea that she ought to feel as I do; I also believe that she (and others) should not try to push some idea that others ought to feel as she does.

I long for the day when we can possibly heed some of Morgan Freeman’s advice when asked how do we get rid of racism: “Stop talking about it!”

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  1. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Jerome Danner: The questions in my mind: “Does she (or others) really see it ‘every single day’? Who sees it? What qualifies as racism to her (or them)? Does she believe that her followers (or let’s say it: Caucasian people) see it as all talk and nothing that she and other African Americans feel?”

    These are great questions, Jerome. I suspect that like many of us, we look for things that confirm our beliefs or biases. It is so frustrating to know that some folks lock themselves into world views, look for confirmations of their truths, and refuse to see how much good is around them. You are blessed that way, Jerome. And your child will benefit from having a father who is willing to step back, ask questions, and reflect on his own beliefs.

    • #1
  2. Kate Braestrup Member
    Kate Braestrup
    @GrannyDude

    Jerome, I am very glad you don’t see racism every day.

    Part of that must be that there isn’t much of it (I hope, anyway) and the rest is that you have learned or decided not to assume that racism lies behind every slight, stumble and even rotten act.

    Indeed, one of the things that concerns me about my more left-leaning anti-racist friends is that they don’t recognize evil when it isn’t racist. There’s a lot of evil in the world. Some of it is—or at least claims to be—color blind. It’s still evil.

    The other concern is that of futility. I have no idea whether it is possible to become a purely non-racist human being, one who has expunged every smidge of bigotry from my neurons/heart/soul. What I am very sure of is that, even were  I to attain this very desirable state, I would never be able to prove it to anyone.

    I can’t prove that I’m not a racist (who happens to be a really good liar) any more than I can prove that I”m heterosexual, that I’m not an alcoholic,  that I love my children or that I believe in God. So I can’t prove that I don’t dislike or look down on (let alone “hate”)  my dear friend and mentor James because his skin is dark brown. James has to make a leap of faith and take me and my love at face value. If I say I love him, I do.

    By the way—I love your avatar picture Jerome! Smooch that kid for me.

    • #2
  3. Kevin Schulte Member
    Kevin Schulte
    @KevinSchulte

    Thank you Jerome for this post. I so appreciate your spirit.

    • #3
  4. Randy Webster Inactive
    Randy Webster
    @RandyWebster

    Jerome Danner: I long for the day when we can possibly heed some of Morgan Freeman’s advice when asked how do we get rid of racism: “Stop talking about it!”

    Too many people have a vested interest in continuing it.

    Fine post, Jerome.

    • #4
  5. Judithann Campbell Member
    Judithann Campbell
    @

    Thank you, Jerome. I feel the same way about women who say that sexism is everywhere, and they experience it every day. We need to speak our own truth; thank you for doing that.

    • #5
  6. Carol Member
    Carol
    @

    Thanks for this Jerome. You have a clear head and a good heart. Little fellow must be getting big ! Hope you are getting some sleep.

    • #6
  7. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    “Wait, you’re African-American? Like, your ancestors are humans from Africa? Oh my Cod, all this time, I thought you were a Pleiedian. My Cod, there’s a human on my Twitter feed!”

    • #7
  8. Weeping Inactive
    Weeping
    @Weeping

    Jerome Danner: … we are deeply flawed creatures and we tend to create much of the hell that we’re in.

    Yes — yes we are and yes we do. Sigh.

    Jerome Danner: I long for the day when we can possibly heed some of Morgan Freeman’s advice when asked how do we get rid of racism: “Stop talking about it!”

    He is so right. I have no idea what all of Mr. Freeman’s views are so I may disagree with everything else he believes in, but I totally agree with him on this. The racial divide will never be healed until race stops being the first lens we run every situation, action, and word through. The more we focus on our differences – and that includes our skin colors – the more divided we become. I long for the day when Martin Luther King. Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech can be a reality, but that day will never come until we take Mr. Freeman’s advice to heart and start practicing it.

    • #8
  9. Weeping Inactive
    Weeping
    @Weeping

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):
    Susan Quinn

    Jerome Danner: The questions in my mind: “Does she (or others) really see it ‘every single day’? Who sees it? What qualifies as racism to her (or them)? Does she believe that her followers (or let’s say it: Caucasian people) see it as all talk and nothing that she and other African Americans feel?”

    These are great questions, Jerome. I suspect that like many of us, we look for things that confirm our beliefs or biases.

    Very true. Reminds me of the story of an old man and two families looking for a new place to live. Here’s another version of it. And another. (This story really resonates with me. I love seeing the different ways it’s been told.)

    • #9
  10. Weeping Inactive
    Weeping
    @Weeping

    Judithann Campbell (View Comment):
    Thank you, Jerome. I feel the same way about women who say that sexism is everywhere, and they experience it every day. We need to speak our own truth; thank you for doing that.

    Yes! I totally agree. I’m a woman – I can do that. :)

    Obviously some women may be in an environment where they actually do experience sexism every day. I’m not going to say those kinds of environments don’t exist anywhere at all. But to say that all women experience it? Every day? No, they don’t – not unless they’re walking around with a magnifying glass looking for it.

    • #10
  11. Ralphie Inactive
    Ralphie
    @Ralphie

    I am a woman working in a male dominated profession, and I don’t have problems with sexism.  On the contrary, I think the men treat me better than they do other males, so I benefit from being rare.

    Amen to your post.

    • #11
  12. drlorentz Member
    drlorentz
    @drlorentz

    Jerome Danner: Speaking for myself: I do not see racism every day

    I’m with Kate: I’m glad you don’t see racism every day. I hope you see racism on zero days. Some others apparently do see racism every day, or at least often. There are two possible explanations:

    1. Those others have very different experiences from yours.
    2. Those others see racism where it does not exist.

    Both of these things can be true. I don’t know which is more prevalent. I’d like to think #2 is. On second thought, I don’t really care for either alternative since #1 says something unpleasant about one group of people and #2 says something unpleasant about a different group.

    The best solution is to take Morgan Freeman’s advice. Too bad a lot of people don’t seem to be interested in doing that. It seems like there’s much to gain by keeping the racism fires stoked on both sides: racists and victims.

    Dr. King yearned for the day when people “…will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” This is quoted often but heeded rarely. Instead, we are witness to the elevation of skin color to the highest level of importance. How many African Americans receive Oscars? How many are employed by Google? How many by Facebook? How many serve on the police force? In 2008, I naively hoped that Mr. Obama’s election would herald an era of diminished emphasis on race. Sadly, the opposite happened.

    Imagine how Black Lives Matter activists would react to someone who said, “There are nearly twice as many white poor as Negro, and therefore the struggle against poverty is not involved solely with color or racial discrimination but with elementary economic justice.” Dr. King could say this in 1967 but not today.

    What is the way forward out of this mess? In my darkest moments I despair that things will continue to deteriorate until something truly horrible happens – worse that what’s already happened. I’m angry that activists chanting slogans are forcing me to pay attention to race, sex, sexual orientation, and other things that don’t concern me. Individuals deserve the consideration of being taken for who they are and not for some arbitrary group they belong to. Identity politics is demeaning.

    • #12
  13. drlorentz Member
    drlorentz
    @drlorentz

    Weeping (View Comment):
    Reminds me of the story of an old man and two families looking for a new place to live. Here’s another version of it. And another. (This story really resonates with me. I love seeing the different ways it’s been told.)

    This story tells a very deep truth. It’s too bad that many turn away from this truth and only look for causes of their problems outside of themselves.

    • #13
  14. Front Seat Cat Member
    Front Seat Cat
    @FrontSeatCat

    You ask great questions and I wish you could somehow ask them of Trillia Newbell – that would be a great podcast as well as a bridge, and to hearing different opinions.

    • #14
  15. Hypatia Member
    Hypatia
    @

    It is effing stupid  to pretend any sighted person will ever not notice, , just see,  the fact that people have different colors of skin. That is not going to happen.    It is equally stupid to pretend that if the observers are white, the color is all  we see.   If that was ever true,  it stopped being true at least two generations  ago.

    • #15
  16. Instugator Thatcher
    Instugator
    @Instugator

    Jerome, thanks for this. I hope you have a great day today.

    • #16
  17. Jerome Danner Inactive
    Jerome Danner
    @JeromeDanner

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):

    Jerome Danner: The questions in my mind: “Does she (or others) really see it ‘every single day’? Who sees it? What qualifies as racism to her (or them)? Does she believe that her followers (or let’s say it: Caucasian people) see it as all talk and nothing that she and other African Americans feel?”

    These are great questions, Jerome. I suspect that like many of us, we look for things that confirm our beliefs or biases. It is so frustrating to know that some folks lock themselves into world views, look for confirmations of their truths, and refuse to see how much good is around them. You are blessed that way, Jerome. And your child will benefit from having a father who is willing to step back, ask questions, and reflect on his own beliefs.

    Thank you, Ms. Quinn!  I hope that I will be a blessing to this young boy child.

    • #17
  18. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Jerome Danner (View Comment):
    Thank you, Ms. Quinn! I hope that I will be a blessing to this young boy child.

    You began to use this photo some time ago, Jerome. May I ask how old he is now?

    • #18
  19. Jerome Danner Inactive
    Jerome Danner
    @JeromeDanner

    Kate Braestrup (View Comment):
    Jerome, I am very glad you don’t see racism every day.

    Part of that must be that there isn’t much of it (I hope, anyway) and the rest is that you have learned or decided not to assume that racism lies behind every slight, stumble and even rotten act.

    Indeed, one of the things that concerns me about my more left-leaning anti-racist friends is that they don’t recognize evil when it isn’t racist. There’s a lot of evil in the world. Some of it is—or at least claims to be—color blind. It’s still evil.

    The other concern is that of futility. I have no idea whether it is possible to become a purely non-racist human being, one who has expunged every smidge of bigotry from my neurons/heart/soul. What I am very sure of is that, even were I to attain this very desirable state, I would never be able to prove it to anyone.

    I can’t prove that I’m not a racist (who happens to be a really good liar) any more than I can prove that I”m heterosexual, that I’m not an alcoholic, that I love my children or that I believe in God. So I can’t prove that I don’t dislike or look down on (let alone “hate”) my dear friend and mentor James because his skin is dark brown. James has to make a leap of faith and take me and my love at face value. If I say I love him, I do.

    By the way—I love your avatar picture Jerome! Smooch that kid for me.

    Very good points!  I am glad as well that I don’t see racism that were similar to the times of my parents as children and my grandparents early lives.  I have seen prejudice all over the place, even in myself.  Of course, it takes real work to not allow my own prejudices to become deep-seeded and cause me to live in fear or hatred of some specific group of others.

    I do hope that I show myself to be more loving than anything else.  Of course, I am not perfect in this endeavor, but I believe that it is vitally important to live this way since I believe in one – Jesus – who tried to show love.

    Oh yeah, I will kiss the kid for you!  A number of times.  ;)

    • #19
  20. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Jerome Danner (View Comment):
    Of course, it takes real work to not allow my own prejudices to become deep-seeded and cause me to live in fear or hatred of some specific group of others.

    Amen.

    • #20
  21. Johnny Dubya Inactive
    Johnny Dubya
    @JohnnyDubya

    Regarding Ta-Nehisi Coates’s book Between The World And Me and the author’s “toxic worldview,” Rich Lowry wrote:

    Given how large race hatred looms in the world of Coates, I was surprised to find that the worst thing that evidently happened to him directly at the hands of a white person is recounted beginning on page 93 of the 152-page book. Coates took his son to a movie theater on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, and when they were leaving and got off the crowded elevator, a white woman pushed his kid and said, “Come on!” Coates interprets the incident as essentially the telescoping of hundreds of years of racism down to this woman invoking her “right over the body of my son.” Yeah, maybe. It’s also possible that the woman was a jerk (there are at least a couple of them on the Upper West Side) and would have pushed anyone’s kid.

    When the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.  And when you see everything through the lens of race, every slight looks like racism.

    Jerome, I’m glad that you don’t see racism every day, but surely you have seen it.  I’m curious to know the most egregious case you’ve been subjected to (though I understand if you don’t want to discuss it).

    The only possible example of everyday racism I can think of, that I have seen, is the tendency for seats to be empty next to African-Americans on the majority-white commuter train I ride.  I prefer to think that it is not racism (and I do believe that strong word is overused, often in cases where another – such as discrimination, racialism, or tribalism – should be used).  When I see one of these empty seats, I tend to take it.  I say this not to virtue-signal or pat myself on the back – it just makes me sad to see it and think that the person may be thinking the seat next to him is vacant for a detestable reason.

    Having lived or worked in NYC for most of my life, I am hard-pressed to think of any other examples of everyday racism or any bad racial incidents that I have seen personally.  (Of course, there have been high-profile incidents since I have been a New Yorker – the Crown Heights riot comes to mind.)  I guess New Yorkers of all colors tend to think of themselves as a tribe unto themselves – Gothamites, I suppose.

    • #21
  22. Nick Baldock Inactive
    Nick Baldock
    @NickBaldock

    Depressing, isn’t it? And this attitude – surely not deliberately? – poisons all human relationships. (Although the Devil is fiendishly clever).

    One of my dearest friends has added STAND UP TO RACISM to his Facebook profile pic. I love him, but what is this supposed to achieve? Will anybody he knows read that and think “gee, I didn’t know Bob was anti-racist”?

    Perception of racism is an insuperable difficulty. If somebody claims that she sees racism every day and I maintain she doesn’t, where is the impartial judge?

    In other circumstances, one who is prone to imagined slights is  one of those people who are not only best avoided but are a real psychic drain on those around them.

    In today’s Daily Telegraph (UK) Sports Section, there is a monumentally stupid article about Colin Kaepernick and the racism of White America. I can’t link to it because my iPad won’t co-operate, but I implore the Ricochetti to seek it out and let me know your perspective.

    How well I remember that time in the Starbucks on 39th & 8th, when a black Columbia-educated Goldman Sachs employee inveighed against the racism of America after an old white sidewalk-mutterer moved to another table.

    Depressing, isn’t it?

    • #22
  23. Weeping Inactive
    Weeping
    @Weeping

    Johnny Dubya (View Comment):
    The only possible example of everyday racism I can think of, that I have seen, is the tendency for seats to be empty next to African-Americans on the majority-white commuter train I ride.

    What people should keep in mind when they see something like that – and I’m sure you do keep it in mind – is that someone might have left that empty seat just before he/she got on the train. Or the African-American who’s sitting alone might have chosen that seat because he/she either wanted to be alone or, in some cases, didn’t want to sit next to a white person. Unfortunately, though, it seems like many people are willing to see those kinds of situations as definite proof that racism runs unabashedly rampant through society today – hammer and nails, as you said.

    • #23
  24. Jerome Danner Inactive
    Jerome Danner
    @JeromeDanner

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):

    Jerome Danner (View Comment):
    Thank you, Ms. Quinn! I hope that I will be a blessing to this young boy child.

    You began to use this photo some time ago, Jerome. May I ask how old he is now?

    He is pushing 11 months old now, madam!

    • #24
  25. Old Bathos Member
    Old Bathos
    @OldBathos

    As a kid I drank from the ‘Whites only’ water fountain in the strip mall a few blocks from our house back in the 1950s.  I saw MLK speak in D.C. And George Wallace in Durham. When I was a teenager, my mother used to cry sometimes not just because Dad was away for weeks at a time but because as a southerner she feared her DOJ Civil Rights Division lawyer husband was going to get shot for going so deep into rural Tennessee and Mississippi to do interviews and gather witnesses.

    Anybody who thinks that America today is more racist is an ignorant ass.

    White libs need to find “racism” both an excuse to tear down society and to provide the narcissistic thrill that moral preening provides for badly formed people.

    And way too many blacks need “racism” to deflect from the horrific failures to build communities worthy of those who did so much to make opportunity real.  To see black kids in prestige colleges majoring in grievance “Studies” where they learn parrot the kind of Marxist palaver that rich white kids enjoy and then graduate with only the ability to shine for white liberals, to perform Grievance and Dependency shtick… Makes me sick.

    • #25
  26. Nick Baldock Inactive
    Nick Baldock
    @NickBaldock

    Weeping (View Comment):

    Johnny Dubya (View Comment):
    The only possible example of everyday racism I can think of, that I have seen, is the tendency for seats to be empty next to African-Americans on the majority-white commuter train I ride.

    What people should keep in mind when they see something like that – and I’m sure you do keep it in mind – is that someone might have left that empty seat just before he/she got on the train. Or the African-American who’s sitting alone might have chosen that seat because he/she either wanted to be alone or, in some cases, didn’t want to sit next to a white person. Unfortunately, though, it seems like many people are willing to see those kinds of situations as definite proof that racism runs unabashedly rampant through society today – hammer and nails, as you said.

    This is the sort of thing I meant by ‘poisoning human relationships.’ Instead of ‘oh, there’s a spare seat’, the sequence of thoughts goes something like:

    ‘Oh, there’s a spare seat. Wait, it’s next to a black guy. If I sit there, will he think I’m being aggressive, or maybe patronising? Will all the other white people think I’m virtue-signalling? If I have to ask him to move, will that look racist? If I leave the train first, will that look racist? Do I make eye contact or not? Should I say anything, and if so what? You know what, it’s too much trouble. I’ll stand.’

    I had to go to Yale to learn to think like that.

    • #26
  27. Weeping Inactive
    Weeping
    @Weeping

    Nick Baldock (View Comment):

    Weeping (View Comment):

    Johnny Dubya (View Comment):
    The only possible example of everyday racism I can think of, that I have seen, is the tendency for seats to be empty next to African-Americans on the majority-white commuter train I ride.

    What people should keep in mind when they see something like that – and I’m sure you do keep it in mind – is that someone might have left that empty seat just before he/she got on the train. Or the African-American who’s sitting alone might have chosen that seat because he/she either wanted to be alone or, in some cases, didn’t want to sit next to a white person. Unfortunately, though, it seems like many people are willing to see those kinds of situations as definite proof that racism runs unabashedly rampant through society today – hammer and nails, as you said.

    This is the sort of thing I meant by ‘poisoning human relationships.’ Instead of ‘oh, there’s a spare seat’, the sequence of thoughts goes something like:

    ‘Oh, there’s a spare seat. Wait, it’s next to a black guy. If I sit there, will he think I’m being aggressive, or maybe patronising? Will all the other white people think I’m virtue-signalling? If I have to ask him to move, will that look racist? If I leave the train first, will that look racist? Do I make eye contact or not? Should I say anything, and if so what? You know what, it’s too much trouble. I’ll stand.’

    I had to go to Yale to learn to think like that.

    I don’t think you have to necessarily have gone to someplace Yale to think like that. I find myself tortured by that kind of thinking whenever I spend too much time steeped in talking/reading about racial issues and controversies. Those are the times when I think, “What will this person-of-color think if I say or do this innocent-in-my-view thing?” And that’s why I think Mr. Freeman’s advice is excellent. It’s not that I think racism and other racial issues shouldn’t be talked about at all. It’s that I think it shouldn’t be the default assumption for everything.

    • #27
  28. Mole-eye Inactive
    Mole-eye
    @Moleeye

    @oldbathos you wrote an excellent comment!  And the Morgan Freeman quote is priceless.  Thanks for sharing it @jeromedanner!

    • #28
  29. Jerome Danner Inactive
    Jerome Danner
    @JeromeDanner

    drlorentz (View Comment):

    Weeping (View Comment):
    Reminds me of the story of an old man and two families looking for a new place to live. Here’s another version of it. And another. (This story really resonates with me. I love seeing the different ways it’s been told.)

    This story tells a very deep truth. It’s too bad that many turn away from this truth and only look for causes of their problems outside of themselves.

    Thank you for the story!

    • #29
  30. Tedley Member
    Tedley
    @Tedley

    I spent my childhood with limited exposure to different races.  My parents always sought out the safest place they could afford for my sister and me to grow up.  We ended up spending part of our childhoods in Livonia, Michigan, a suburb of Detroit, which was, in the late 70s and early 80s, the whitest city in America of over 100,000 people.  Yet, after I went on active duty in the Navy, I worked with thousands of people of numerous races, and this of course included African Americans.  Those interactions happened during a span of over 20 years in a variety of work environments, on ships and at overseas shore duty stations around the world.  Sometimes I was the superior officer, sometimes the subordinate, and sometimes a counterpart working in the same or a supporting organization.  We all had our jobs to do, and race was never a consideration–it was about getting the job done safely and defending the country.

    I cannot say whether anyone thought I said or did anything racist during my career.  I know I had my share of knucklehead moments.  I can only hope that they would do like me and try to be forgiving.  I may not be a practicing Christian, but this simplest of acts seems to be so important.  Unfortunately, so many of the radicals at the extremes of both sides of the protests (progressives and white supremacists) appear unwilling to forgive.  I worry where this could lead.

    By the way, like @susanquinn, I love the picture of you with your son.  I hope you succeed in raising him to be a man like yourself.

    • #30
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