QOTD: Lawrence of Clouds Hill

 

“You wonder what I am doing? Well, so do I, in truth. Days seem to dawn, suns to shine, evenings to follow, and then I sleep. What I have done, what I am doing, what I am going to do, puzzle and bewilder me. Have you ever been a leaf and fallen from your tree in autumn and been really puzzled about it? That’s the feeling.”T.E. Lawrence, Letter, May 1935

A legendary spy and warrior, and perhaps one of the early twentieth-century’s “most interesting men” wrote these words a few short weeks after retiring from military service, just after he had refused a knighthood from the King, and only days before he died in a motorcycle accident.

Thomas Edward Lawrence (born one-hundred twenty-nine years ago today) was forty-six years old, a fact which brings home how absurdly young he was when he started his work for British intelligence (he was twenty-five, and only thirty when the First World War ended), and he’d retired to Clouds Hill, a small brick cottage in the heart of Dorset to tend his garden, the centerpiece of which was a massive, rambling rhododendron that had been gifted to him by the novelist Thomas Hardy and his wife.

Although he’s known as a recluse, and, in general, as a rather odd duck, his later Letters point to a sweet disposition, a desire to socialize, and an interesting range of acquaintance.

But after his discharge from the Royal Air Force, he was clearly at a loose end and didn’t quite know what to do with himself, writing in March: “I wander about London in a queer unrest, wondering if my mainspring will ever have a tension in it again. So, I’m not cheerful actually, but sad at losing my R.A.F. existence. It was good, and I felt useful.” And, in April this, (to Mrs. Thomas Hardy), “I feel very indisposed to do anything more; and very tired.” And, to Nancy Astor, just ten days before he died, “There is something broken in the works, as I told you: my will, I think.”

He was fond of comparing himself to a falling Autumn leaf, drifting through the air and down to the ground, puzzled and bewildered as to what was happening to it, and he did so again here:

I’m ‘out’ now, of the R.A.F. and sitting in my cottage rather puzzled to find out what has happened to me, is happening and will happen. At present the feeling is mere bewilderment. I imagine leaves must feel like this after they have fallen from their tree and until they die. Let’s hope that will not be my continuing state.

For good or for ill, it was not to be his “continuing state” for very long. Two weeks later, he was out joyriding on his beloved Brough Superior SS100 motorcycle (pictured below) in the Dorset countryside, and he swerved to avoid two boys walking along the road in the opposite direction. He pitched off his cycle onto his head, and suffered a devastating injury.

Lawrence was in a coma for six days before he died. One of his attending neurosurgeons was Hugh Cairns, who used the experience as the foundation for his research into the frequent head injuries and unnecessary deaths of motorcycle dispatch riders. The motorcycle crash helmet developed from his work, and soon became a commonplace accessory in both the military and civilian worlds.

Lawrence’s funeral, in the tiny hamlet of Moreton, was attended by Winston and Clementine Churchill, E.M Forster, Lady Astor, and several other luminaries who were close friends and correspondents. This obituary from the New York Times sheds some light on what type of man Lawrence was, and the esteem in which he was held by his friends (although for my own part, I can hardly get past the bit that tells me Lawrence was attended by the King’s physician, Sir Farquhar Buzzard. Monty Python, please call your office).

Thomas Edward Lawrence, August 16, 1888–May 19, 1935

I have to say that I have greatly enjoyed retirement, ever since it came around for me. I welcomed the unwinding of my own “mainspring,” as I was no longer on call 7x24x365, likely at any moment to be whisked away from what I was doing because of a suspected intrusion into the hospital computer system; a malfunctioning piece of equipment that was preventing life-saving patient care from occurring in a timely way; a doctor who was scratching his online, malware-laden, porn itch on my network in one of the on-call rooms, or posting patient-identifiable photos and other information on-line without permission (yes, it does happen); or some other mind-boggling technical or human calamity, perhaps with serious legal, financial, or career-limiting implications.

And I’ve never been too concerned with leaves that fall from the tree, either. I know they rot into mulch and are absorbed back into the ground (I’ve heard that there are people who actually rake them up, but I dismiss this as sheer fantasy), and I have faith that, next Spring, buds will form on the trees, and the cycle will begin anew.

I’d love to hear retirement stories from the Ricochetti who, like me, have passed “a certain age.” Do you enjoy it? Are you bored? What do you do? Do you have too much, or too little, to do? Can you even imagine how you ever found time to get your job done before you retired? And anything else you care to share. (If you’re not yet of that age, are you looking forward to it, and counting the days, like @Arahant’s dad? Or do you dread it?)

And, by the way, if the historians among us would like to opine on Lawrence of Arabia, his life, his adventures, and his legacy, I’d love that, too.

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  1. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    She: I can hardly get past the bit that tells me Lawrence was attended by the King’s physician, Sir Farquhar Buzzard. Monty Python, please call your office

    Sassenachs and their lack of appreciation for good Scots names. Tsk. Tsk.

    This conversation is part of Ricochet’s ongoing Quote of the Day Series. If you have interesting quotes to share or perhaps would like to share an interesting person through quotes, why not sign up right now? We still have four openings near the end of August, and when those are filled, I shall put up the September sign-up sheet.

    • #1
  2. Hang On Member
    Hang On
    @HangOn

    She: I’d love to hear retirement stories from the Ricochetti who, like me, have passed “a certain age.” Do you enjoy it? Are you bored? What do you do? Do you have too much, or too little, to do? Can you even imagine how you ever found time to get your job done before you retired? And anything else you care to share. (If you’re not yet of that age, are you looking forward to it, and counting the days, like @Arahant‘s dad? Or do you dread it?)

    I don’t ever intend to retire and can arrange things so that I don’t have to. I don’t understand the appeal of the concept.

    • #2
  3. She Member
    She
    @She

    Good for you!  And hope everything works out as you expect.

    I’m enjoying mine.

    • #3
  4. Hang On Member
    Hang On
    @HangOn

    Lawrence of Arabia was a brilliant piece of propaganda to contrast with the rather squalid reality and horror of the British western front. The squalid reality has been pretty much forgotten but Lawrence of Arabia hasn’t.

    The Hashemites of Jeddah were on the payroll of the British, the Turks and the Germans during the war. No small feat. They exploited all three brilliantly for a while and kept upping the price. But by 1917, the price had gotten too high and they had to decide which way to jump. Since the British were the ones delivering the food (and the only ones capable of delivering food) if not all the gold, the Hashemites knew which way to jump. They jumped with Lawrence. Lawrence and one of Hussein’s sons went off into the desert doing all kinds of things to disrupt the Ottoman forces to questionable effect as Allenby, whose army was doing the heavy lifting, advanced from Jerusalem to Damascus. Lawrence got there later, but thought the place should be turned over to his Arabs. Allenby wanted to keep it for the British. But Damascus and environs were turned over to the French as per prior agreement. The British, French and Russians had decided at the beginning of the war how they were to carve up the Ottoman carcass. The Russians were out of it at that point because of revolutions so got none of the carcass.

    Meanwhile another tribe in the region who had also been on the British payroll were biding their time. They were the ones who six months later would wind up ruling Arabia naming a kingdom after themselves, Saudi Arabia, causing the Hashemites to flee. But two sons did wind up on thrones – one in Amman and and another in Baghdad.

    Lawrence got tall tales of derring-do.

    • #4
  5. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Arahant (View Comment):

    She: I can hardly get past the bit that tells me Lawrence was attended by the King’s physician, Sir Farquhar Buzzard. Monty Python, please call your office

    Sassenachs and their lack of appreciation for good Scots names. Tsk. Tsk.

    Anyone surviving past the age of one-and-twenty years with a moniker like Farquhar Buzzard should be knighted then and there at his birthday party. “Congratulations, young man. Here are your spurs.”

    • #5
  6. DocJay Inactive
    DocJay
    @DocJay

    An astounding man and shining light in human history..   I’ve read he never was the same after his abuse/imprisonment.

    I’d love to retire and work for fun.  That’s not happening yet.

    • #6
  7. She Member
    She
    @She

    DocJay (View Comment):
    An astounding man and shining light in human history.. I’ve read he never was the same after his abuse/imprisonment.

    I’d love to retire and work for fun. That’s not happening yet.

    I hope you get a chance to do so, soon enough.  I do, in a sense, “work for fun” at the local veterinarian’s office, where I take care of their little network and their dozen-or-so computers.  It’s like a microcosm of all the doctors’ office/EMR setups I’ve ever done (they have a little PACS, an on-line interface with a reference lab, and connections to pharmacies and suppliers).  They pay me a pittance (I mean that), and I get a discount on vet services (if you’re me, that’s more valuable than the paycheck).  I love it.  Keeps my hand in, and gets me out of the house now and then.  And they’re nice people.

    Yes, Lawrence was a lightning rod, and he certainly had his admirers and detractors.  And many people who believe that his actions, or certainly those of the British government, a century ago, caused or exacerbated the situation in the Middle East today.

    His letters, though, show a non-political side of him that I really enjoyed learning about.  And I find it hard to criticize him too harshly, given the high opinion that so many of his friends had of him.   To quote a movie character (and not one you might expect in the context of this thread), “No man is a failure who has friends.”

    Speaking of movies, @titustechera, what do you think of “Lawrence of Arabia?”

     

    • #7
  8. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    I love retirement. I like being to do what I want, when I want (considering the impact on my husband, of course). It allows me to go deeply into things I wouldn’t have been able to do when I worked: reading three books at a time (although I do get story lines confused), exercising, walking, meditating, visiting friends and writing A LOT! Oh, I’m having so much fun being able to indulge in my writing–finding topics, outlining ideas, learning through research and then crafting an essay. I never realized how much I loved to write until I had so much time to do it.

    There’s also some travel, caring for my neighbor’s dog, tending my orchids and African violets, visiting my hospice patient. It all sounds like a lot, but I’m regularly checking in with myself to see if I have the right balance. I don’t always. But I indulge things because I can, and feel enormously blessed that I am able to do so.

    • #8
  9. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    I so enjoyed reading about Lawrence, too. Quite a fascinating man!

    • #9
  10. Hang On Member
    Hang On
    @HangOn

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):
    I so enjoyed reading about Lawrence, too. Quite a fascinating man!

    She (View Comment):
    Yes, Lawrence was a lightning rod, and he certainly had his admirers and detractors. And many people who believe that his actions, or certainly those of the British government, a century ago, caused or exacerbated the situation in the Middle East today.

    May I recommend Sean McMeekin’s histories on the crackup of the Ottoman Empire. He takes it from the Turkish angle in the Ottoman Endgame, the German angle in the Berlin-Baghdad Railroad, and the Russian angle in the Russian Origins of the First World War. The trilogy isn’t focused primarily on Lawrence, but puts him in quite good context.

    • #10
  11. She Member
    She
    @She

    Hang On (View Comment):

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):
    I so enjoyed reading about Lawrence, too. Quite a fascinating man!

    She (View Comment):
    Yes, Lawrence was a lightning rod, and he certainly had his admirers and detractors. And many people who believe that his actions, or certainly those of the British government, a century ago, caused or exacerbated the situation in the Middle East today.

    May I recommend Sean McMeekin’s histories on the crackup of the Ottoman Empire. He takes it from the Turkish angle in the Ottoman Endgame, the German angle in the Berlin-Baghdad Railroad, and the Russian angle in the Russian Origins of the First World War. The trilogy isn’t focused primarily on Lawrence, but puts him in quite good context.

    Thanks for this.  I will put these on my list.

    • #11
  12. She Member
    She
    @She

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):
    I love retirement. I like being to do what I want, when I want (considering the impact on my husband, of course). It allows me to go deeply into things I wouldn’t have been able to do when I worked: reading three books at a time (although I do get story lines confused), exercising, walking, meditating, visiting friends and writing A LOT! Oh, I’m having so much fun being able to indulge in my writing–finding topics, outlining ideas, learning through research and then crafting an essay. I never realized how much I loved to write until I had so much time to do it.

    There’s also some travel, caring for my neighbor’s dog, tending my orchids and African violets, visiting my hospice patient. It all sounds like a lot, but I’m regularly checking in with myself to see if I have the right balance. I don’t always. But I indulge things because I can, and feel enormously blessed that I am able to do so.

    Thanks, Susan.  I’m having fun too, although my activities tend more in the direction of farm work.  And for relaxation, I’ve rediscovered some of the crafts I haven’t had time for in years, especially knitting.  Would love to get back into bobbin lace.  Hopefully, soon!

    PS–orchids are beautiful.  I’ve only been looking after a couple for a few months, but they are very lovely.  Any tips you have would be much appreciated.

    • #12
  13. Titus Techera Contributor
    Titus Techera
    @TitusTechera

    Dunno’bout retirement, but I have to say a few words about T.E.Lawrence. I think the leaf cut off was more or less his natural state. A fellow doesn’t go around the world like so if he has any connections to his people; or any human being. He was the most English guy there was. Ahead of the curve inasmuch as he was as homeless in England as in the deserts of Arabia-

    • #13
  14. Clavius Thatcher
    Clavius
    @Clavius

    I’m not retired (yet) but I have a model in mind I learned from my step father.

    He was lucky enough to retire at 53 (which is in my rear view mirror by several years).  He stopped working eight hours a day and started doing his projects eight, 10, 12 hours a day.  Retirement is not “not working,” it is working at what you want to work at.

    • #14
  15. GLDIII Reagan
    GLDIII
    @GLDIII

    I have reached the point of eligibility, but I am hanging in there for a few more years. I still have a son in college for one more year, and once he is out I want to retire the mortgage. While I have an enviable job, at some point after over 40 years in the same profession, it is time.

    I have fantasy visions of becoming an “airport bum” parlaying my aircraft building skill into a being a gentleman A&P (airframe and power plant) mechanic while indulge in filling my log book with all of the flying hours I had to hold off on while raising children, and while also being at the beck and call of my employer.  Unlike many of my peers who seem to become rudderless when removed from the 9 to 5,  I have more hobbies than I have time left on earth to pursue.

    Not to mention that the Mrs III is looking forward to some travel, best to do it while we are both healthy and have the energy for bouncing from the time zone to time zone, or pulling the travel trailer to some corner of the US we have read about that needs some up close inspection.

    I hope to do better than T.E Lawrence’s brief stint with retirement, perhaps I should avoid the motorcycles. Statistically they are more dangerous than flying machines.

    • #15
  16. Nanda Panjandrum Member
    Nanda Panjandrum
    @

    A cracking good post, like a pebble in a pond; don’t know yet where it will lead…

    • #16
  17. Titus Techera Contributor
    Titus Techera
    @TitusTechera

    I’ve a high opinion of that movie. Maybe you’ll like some comments I jotted down, awhile back, to go with brief scenes, so people can see why I make so much of things.

    • #17
  18. She Member
    She
    @She

    Titus Techera (View Comment):
    Dunno’bout retirement, but I have to say a few words about T.E.Lawrence. I think the leaf cut off was more or less his natural state. A fellow doesn’t go around the world like so if he has any connections to his people; or any human being. He was the most English guy there was. Ahead of the curve inasmuch as he was as homeless in England as in the deserts of Arabia-

    Interesting.  Are you saying he was at home, and homeless, nowhere and everywhere?

    And why is this a particularly “English” trait in your opinion?

    • #18
  19. She Member
    She
    @She

    GLDIII (View Comment):
    I have reached the point of eligibility, but I am hanging in there for a few more years. I still have a son in college for one more year, and once he is out I want to retire the mortgage. While I have an enviable job, at some point after over 40 years in the same profession, it is time.

    I have fantasy visions of becoming an “airport bum” parlaying my aircraft building skill into a being a gentleman A&P (airframe and power plant) mechanic while indulge in filling my log book with all of the flying hours I had to hold off on while raising children, and while also being at the beck and call of my employer.

    I hope you get to do this!

    Unlike many of my peers who seem to become rudderless when removed from the 9 to 5,I have more hobbies than I have time left on earth to pursue.

    Me, too.

    Not to mention that the Mrs III is looking forward to some travel, best to do it while we are both healthy and have the energy for bouncing from the time zone to time zone, or pulling the travel trailer to some corner of the US we have read about that needs some up close inspection.

    Hope you can both do this.

    I hope to do better than T.E Lawrence’s brief stint with retirement, perhaps I should avoid the motorcycles. Statistically they are more dangerous than flying machines.

    Yes, I often think it’s not a question of “if,” it’s a question of “when.” Please be careful–in the air, as well.

    • #19
  20. Titus Techera Contributor
    Titus Techera
    @TitusTechera

    She (View Comment):

    Titus Techera (View Comment):
    Dunno’bout retirement, but I have to say a few words about T.E.Lawrence. I think the leaf cut off was more or less his natural state. A fellow doesn’t go around the world like so if he has any connections to his people; or any human being. He was the most English guy there was. Ahead of the curve inasmuch as he was as homeless in England as in the deserts of Arabia-

    Interesting. Are you saying he was at home, and homeless, nowhere and everywhere?

    And why is this a particularly “English” trait in your opinion?

    First people to modernize!

    • #20
  21. JamieIrons123 Inactive
    JamieIrons123
    @JamieIrons123

    I really enjoyed your account of L.o.A’s. last days. It very much sounds to me (from what you write) as though he were suffering from something very much like a major depression.

     

    I am a semi-retired psychiatrist. In my retirement I occupy myself with writing (poetry;my work has been praised by John Ashbery and Robert Hass), and I teach mathematics up through calculus and linear algebra to high school and junior college students (I do this for free, so that my little group of tutors can have some scholarship students).

    I often tell people that, at my advanced age, I’ve finally figured out what I want to do when I grow up!

     

    Jamie

    • #21
  22. Chuckles Coolidge
    Chuckles
    @Chuckles

    What do I do post-retirement??

    Retired at 64 (I think) now in 70th year.  Busier now than before I retired.  Doing what?  Good question!  But it sure keeps me busy!

    I remember that I visit Ricochet, mow the yard, weedeat (I hate that task so it doesn’t happen too often), visit Ricochet, clear hiking trails, read, visit Ricochet, take a shower every few weeks, spend a morning at the barber every other week, shave once or twice a week – there’s a few other things but I forget.  Oh, yes – I visit Ricochet.

     

     

     

    • #22
  23. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    JamieIrons123 (View Comment):
    (poetry;my work has been praised by John Ashbery and Robert Hass)

    Ricochet needs more poetry.

    • #23
  24. GLDIII Reagan
    GLDIII
    @GLDIII

    Arahant (View Comment):

    JamieIrons123 (View Comment):
    (poetry;my work has been praised by John Ashbery and Robert Hass)

    Ricochet needs more poetry.

    Nope more lessons in Thermodynamics, it’s how the universe operates ?

    • #24
  25. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    GLDIII (View Comment):
    Nope more lessons in Thermodynamics, it’s how the universe operates ?

    Which I would expect you to say, since you can’t handle poetry.

    • #25
  26. Instugator Thatcher
    Instugator
    @Instugator

    She: “I wander about London in a queer unrest, wondering if my mainspring will ever have a tension in it again. So, I’m not cheerful actually, but sad at losing my R.A.F. existence. It was good, and I felt useful.” And, in April this, (to Mrs. Thomas Hardy), “I feel very indisposed to do anything more; and very tired.” And, to Nancy Astor, just ten days before he died, “There is something broken in the works, as I told you: my will, I think.”

    I know exactly how he feels. It is why I volunteered to deploy to the fight against ISIS – despite having retired from active duty almost over 9 years ago. (I am a USAF civilian now).

    • #26
  27. GLDIII Reagan
    GLDIII
    @GLDIII

    Arahant (View Comment):

    GLDIII (View Comment):
    Nope more lessons in Thermodynamics, it’s how the universe operates ?

    Which I would expect you to say, since you can’t handle poetry.

    No argument from me, how do you handle Thermodynamics?  ?

    • #27
  28. Trink Coolidge
    Trink
    @Trink

    She: He was fond of comparing himself to a falling Autumn leaf, drifting through the air and down to the ground, puzzled and bewildered as to what was happening to it . .

    Autumn Leaves

     

    Not playful, nor baleful,

    only searching frosted ground,

    brailing forward, pausing softly,

    briefly shifting, moving towards,

    destinations far from treetops,

    destinations far from home,

    resting finally among the others

    whose traveling days are done.

     

     

    • #28
  29. J.D. Snapp Coolidge
    J.D. Snapp
    @JulieSnapp

    Arahant (View Comment):

    GLDIII (View Comment):
    Nope more lessons in Thermodynamics, it’s how the universe operates ?

    Which I would expect you to say, since you can’t handle poetry.

    I gotta say. I’m leaning on GLD’s side in this.

    • #29
  30. Hang On Member
    Hang On
    @HangOn

    GLDIII (View Comment):
    No argument from me, how do you handle Thermodynamics? ?

    The way all of us do – increasing entropy.

    • #30
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