Small-Town Girl Makes Good

 

O, for those lovely mornings in Connecticut! Say friend Mark, do you remember the scones and the coffee and the milk — and the saunter across the lawn to retrieve the NY Post!

O, the proud vulgarity of those headlines! The freedom of a free people!

O, for the subtle study of the hierarchies of celebrity worship — the intrigue and court-like circles of obscurity and silliness and sin! How accurate their nameless information, how true to life their tales of intrigue…

To wit, that eternal child Master Ben Affleck is chasing the ladies again, not that they’re likely to outrun him:

“A publicist close to the situation told The Post”

O, for that blessed world, enchanted world, where every situation has the publicist it deserves nearby!

“I can’t believe that a girl from nowhere New York ruined a Hollywood marriage,” said the publicist close to the situation.

The American dream yet lives while there are marriages to ruin. A girl can aspire on wings of controversy — female pride unleashed! Notice that representatives for that Mad Men actor insisted, to be clear, not only have they not dated, they’re not even friends — only acquaintances. As nice as Americans are, especially Famous Americans, sometimes you need to set things straight. It’s a price to pay, one supposes, for being a li’l homewrecker…

O, tabloids that contain our mores and recall to us our trespasses, that we may trespass more effectively — if I have one reproach to make, though the girl is called Shookus, nothing is made of that. Falling asleep on the job drunk, I suppose, is still in fashion at the tabloids, and as a drinking man myself, I condone it.

Published in Entertainment
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Members have made 17 comments.

  1. Member

    Titus Techera: “I can’t believe that a girl from nowhere New York ruined a Hollywood marriage,” said the publicist close to the situation.

    Awww… An innocent publicist, the wee lamb.

    • #1
    • July 16, 2017 at 8:48 am
    • 3 likes
  2. Thatcher

    Ah, yes, I remember the halycon days of our youth (or, at least, your youth) as we strode down that path in suburban Connecticut, eagerly grasping the Post in our hands, joyously anticipating the mirth of its front page and the wonders to be exposed on Page Six.

    Alas, here in our new southwestern abode the Post cannot be delivered, depriving us of the morning driveway trek in the blazing early-day sun. It is indeed cold comfort to find the only substitute a viewing online which, in turn, inflicts upon us the sickening realization there is no substitute for the real article in hand, no hint of suspense in the crinkling of the tabloid pages, as we turn to Page Six to learn the secrets of those lives, so well lived.

    • #2
    • July 16, 2017 at 8:50 am
    • 4 likes
  3. Member

    O, you scold. Have you no sympathy? No compassion?

    Being with famous people ain’t as easy as it looks. People do the best they can.

    • #3
    • July 16, 2017 at 9:05 am
    • 2 likes
  4. Member
    MLH

    That’s Ben Affleck? When did he get so….. so….. er ….. uummmm…. old?

    • #4
    • July 16, 2017 at 9:08 am
    • 1 like
  5. Member

    “Mad Men” actor?

    • #5
    • July 16, 2017 at 9:31 am
    • 1 like
  6. Member
    MLH

    Eustace C. Scrubb (View Comment):
    “Mad Men” actor?

    Jon Hamm? Man of the Left.

    • #6
    • July 16, 2017 at 9:53 am
    • 1 like
  7. Contributor
    Titus Techera Post author

    MLH (View Comment):

    Eustace C. Scrubb (View Comment):
    “Mad Men” actor?

    Jon Hamm? Man of the Left.

    Ham is right!

    • #7
    • July 16, 2017 at 9:59 am
    • 1 like
  8. Contributor
    Titus Techera Post author

    Larry Koler (View Comment):
    O, you scold. Have you no sympathy? No compassion?

    Being with famous people ain’t as easy as it looks. People do the best they can.

    Yeah, that’s the hilarious thing–this girl is a talent wrangler for SNL. I’ll say she is!

    • #8
    • July 16, 2017 at 10:00 am
    • 2 likes
  9. Member
    MLH

    Titus Techera (View Comment):

    MLH (View Comment):

    Eustace C. Scrubb (View Comment):
    “Mad Men” actor?

    Jon Hamm? Man of the Left.

    Ham is right!

    No. Left.

    • #9
    • July 16, 2017 at 10:07 am
    • 1 like
  10. Member

    She didn’t ruin the marriage – Ben Afleck did that – he didn’t see much value in a beautiful sweet wife and children who adored him – his former wife, and all the other formers including Jennifer Lopez, are better off.

    • #10
    • July 16, 2017 at 10:26 am
    • 2 likes
  11. Contributor
    Titus Techera Post author

    I should hope they are–I believe children are involved in some of this glitzy catastrophe, too, & they are not celebrities, immune to the slings & arrows of fortune.

    But let’s not take from these women their proudest achievement, the great equality of mistress & wife, of ‘a girl from nowhere New York’ & a millionaire Hollywood star. Democracy marches on!

    • #11
    • July 16, 2017 at 10:35 am
    • 2 likes
  12. Reagan

    Men of great intellect discuss ideas,

    Men of middling thoughts discuss events,

    Men of small minds discuss others.

    On the Main feed no less, oy vey….

    • #12
    • July 16, 2017 at 11:32 am
    • 5 likes
  13. Thatcher

    GLDIII (View Comment):
    Men of great intellect discuss ideas,

    Churchill

    Men of middling thoughts discuss events,

    Wolf Blitzer

    Men of small minds discuss others.

    ?

    On the Main feed no less, oy vey….

    • #13
    • July 16, 2017 at 12:17 pm
    • Like
  14. Contributor
    Titus Techera Post author

    That’s me!

    • #14
    • July 16, 2017 at 12:23 pm
    • 5 likes
  15. Reagan

    Titus Techera (View Comment):
    That’s me!

    At least you know your pedigree. ☺️

    • #15
    • July 16, 2017 at 12:51 pm
    • Like
  16. Contributor
    Titus Techera Post author

    Someone’s gotta stand up for the American joie de vivre!

    • #16
    • July 16, 2017 at 12:59 pm
    • 2 likes
  17. Contributor
    Titus Techera Post author

    I’ll admit that I take some pleasure in having this low-brow jokey thing atop the Main Feed of a Sunday morning–I hope lots of people wake up to Ricochet with a smile!

    • #17
    • July 16, 2017 at 1:47 pm
    • 8 likes