From The Secret Files Of Ricochet

 

It has recently come to light that we have had a celebrity lurker member on Ricochet since at least late 2015, just prior to the start of the Republican primaries. We did not at first know (and later could not publicly reveal) this member’s real identity at the time, but given their troublesome comment history (almost entirely redacted due to reasons both of probity and of national security) we, the moderators of Ricochet, feel it in the best interests of the site to both “out” said member, and to explain the reasons for our recent membership suspension. In the interests of full disclosure, we herein present some of this member’s comment history, (mostly) unredacted. Practically every post in which this member participated was removed (“nuked” in the local parlance) so their history is not generally searchable. The main reasons for the suspension should be apparent in the history detailed below.

Original Post: Time for Rubio to Step Up, by Skipsul, February 2, 2016

DCorleone – Rubio has great hair, I’ll give him that. But this post is bogus. #nolosers.

Skipsul – Rubio, at least, is likeable, and he’s not out there insulting the other candidates.

DCorleone – Rubio is a lightweight chocker! #USA! #MrMeltDown!

Skipsul – Give him a chance, at least. Of all of the field I think he’s got the best shot at beating Hildabeast.

DCorleone – Hah Little Marco? Can you imagine him meeting with Vladimir Putin? Putin is a strong man, he rides bears! Could you imagine Little Marco riding a bear?

Skipsul – What does riding a bear have to do with it? That was photoshopped, you know, a joke photo?.

DCorleone – I’ll tell you something, the DC Zookeepers would keep only the best bares for Trump.

Skipsul – Again, you are aware that was photoshopped?

DCorleone – I’d ride bare! I’d put a gold-plated collar and a [redacted] up the [redacted] and joust Putin!

Skipsul – Hah! I’d pay to see that.

DCorleone – Donate to my campaign and I’ll make it happen.

Skipsul – What, you’re running too? You are aware that soliciting on Rico is against the CoC?

DCorleone – Lemme tweet Bannon and see what he can wrangle. I’ll use an American Grizzely. #MAGA

[EDITOR’S NOTE] – COMMENTS CLOSED

Original Post: #NeverTrump and Good Faith, by Judge Mental, May 18, 2016

DCorleone: All you NeverEver losers need to get on the Trump Train. #MAGA

Judge Mental: This isn’t helping. I’m trying to persuade people here.

Umbra Fractus: Trump’s supporters are just as bad as he is. The idea that conservatives should be expected to vote for someone like Trump is ridiculous.

DCorleone: You’re just mad because your guy lost.  #Losers #LowEnergyLosers #LowEnergyCrybabyLosers

Judge Mental: Flagged. Seriously, tone it down.

DCorleone: You’re just another Hillary lover. Your post is a joke. #Hillarys[redacted]

Umbra Fractus: Hey [redacted], take a break… you don’t have to be an [redacted] every day of your life.

[EDITOR’S NOTE]: COMMENTS CLOSED

Original Post: Seven Haiku, by Arahant June 12, 2016

DCorleone – This is what happens when we outsource our poetry to China. #ChinaTakesAmericanJobs

Arahant – First, the Haiku is a Japanese form, not Chinese. Second, these poems were written by an American in America.

DCorleone – We should have tariffs on Japanese imports. They keep dumping their cars and manufactured goods into America. #TaxJaps

Arahant – Look, this is a conversation about poetry, not economics. Perhaps you would like to start your own conversation on the subject?

DCorleone – [Redacted] lover. [Redacted]

[Moderator’s Note: Personal attacks are unwarranted. So are racial slurs. Comments Closed]

Original Post: Apparently I Should Like Hillary Because She’s ‘From Arkansas’, by J.D. Snapp, April 24th, 2017

DCorleone: No one likes Crooked Hillary. Maybe Pocahontas but who cares about her low IQ opinion. You should have told him Hillary’s face is so disgusting, we could probably threaten Mexico with naked pics of her to get them to build the wall. Two birds, one stone. #MAGA #BuildTheWall

J.D. Snapp: I don’t think that would’ve actually helped the situation at all.

IndescribableHorror: That is beyond inappropriate.

DCorleone: When someone challenges you, you gotta fight back. Be tough. That’s what Donald Trump does. He’s a strong guy, powerful guy. He leads by example. #TrumpStrong #MakeAmericaToughAgain

DCorleone: @Horrar, Are you on your period, right now? #women

IndescribableHorror: No, I’m not on “my period”. I’m a man. People like you make me glad I never voted for Trump.

DCorleone: Oh, I get it now. You’re a Hillary lover! What a pathetic joke. Your a weak, waist of a “man”. #Sad #HesWithHer

J.D. Snapp: I think you might be taking things a little too far. It’s completely unnecessary to trash other people on our side. I voted for Trump, but you’re making me uncomfortable about being a Trump supporter.

DCorleone: [Redacted] #LowEnergy #Sad

[Moderator’s Note: Personal attacks are unwarranted. So are racial slurs. Comments Closed]

These are just a few sample of the sometimes erratic and frankly strange exchanges we had with this member. What follows are the two final exchanges that finally got this member booted. First was when this member found the PIT back in June.

DCorleone: Long time member here, just found this place. Who in heck are you guys?

Arahant: Welcome! Did you ever get that book of Haiku I sent you?

DCorleone: Had a staffer read it for me. The Koreans can keep their poetry. No threat to us.

UmbraFractus: You calmed down any since the election? I remember having a few tangles with you.

DCorleone: America is grate again.

JudgeMental: Grating, more like.

DCorleone: I’m helping build the wall. #MAGA

Skipsul: Dude, we try to keep some of the politics out of here. This is the after-hours bar.

DCorleone: I don’t drink. Just diet Coke for me. Who’s the chick here with lashes?

CatIII: Um, I’m a guy actually, the photo is of Amy Winehouse.

DCorleone: I’ll send you a rainbow flag. You in the military? ‘Cause if you are you might want another job.

Arahant: Anyone see that latest post suggesting Bannon is up for Treason charges? I think I should start collecting conspiracy theories again.

JDSnapp: You could write haikus about them.

DCoreleone: Well if Bannon had gotten me that bare I asked for I wouldn’t be offering to trade him to Putin for Dontez. These cheap Hillary dossiyays are so yesterday. Like Hillary could possibly [redacted at length] with a [redacted] and [redacted].

Skipsul: What, are you some sort of Whitehouse insider?

DCorleone: You look like the man in charge here. How are you in front of a micophone? Spicy is pulling his leash.

Skipsul: Are you who i think you are?

Arahant: Think we should tell the brass? I mean, should we make Skip tell the brass?

Skipsul: gee, thanks.

DCorleone: What are you folks? [redacted]

[end of exchange, I notified the editors of my suspicions at this point]

After consultation with the editors, this member’s account was suspended. What follows is the final exchange via email, this time between Blue Yeti and the now ex-member.

7/20/2017

Dear DCorleone,

Your Ricochet account has been permanently closed.  Due to multiple violations of the Code of Conduct, over which you were repeatedly warned, we are not refunding the balance of your subscription fee.

When you joined Ricochet, you agreed to abide by the Code of Conduct. In the last 18 months you have:

1. Repeatedly insulted other members,

2. Repeatedly used racial slurs and profanities,

3.  Repeatedly posted conspiracy theories, and

4.  Repeatedly attempted to directly solicit political donations.

Your membership will not be re-instated, nor are we returning the ball cap or the bumper stickers.  If you have any questions, please let me know.

Blue Yeti

CEO

===

Yeti?  You got big feet or something?  I paid my dues here and I am outraiged at my treatment!  Scaramucci will have some words you and your associates.

– DCorleone

==

We know who you are and we do not take kindly to threats.  One word of this and I call in an old favor with Mueller.

– Yeti

==

I’m not letting you have the last word.

– DCorleone

==

Yes, you are.

– Yeti

cue twilight zone music….

Published in Humor
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There are 45 comments.

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  1. skipsul Inactive
    skipsul
    @skipsul

    Special thanks to @arahant, @jdsnapp, @judgemental for contributing, and to @umbrafractus for volunteering to be a good sport.

    • #1
  2. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    skipsul (View Comment):
    @jdsnapp

    Or maybe @juliesnapp?

    • #2
  3. Brian Wolf Inactive
    Brian Wolf
    @BrianWolf

    Wonderfully funny.  It is a strangely amusing thought thinking about what Trump would make of Ricochet!  Thanks Skipsul.

    • #3
  4. Yudansha Member
    Yudansha
    @Yudansha

    Is this post for real?  This reads more like satire than reality.

    • #4
  5. skipsul Inactive
    skipsul
    @skipsul

    Oh, it’s definitely spoofing.

    • #5
  6. Matt Balzer Member
    Matt Balzer
    @MattBalzer

    skipsul (View Comment):

    Oh, it’s definitely spoofing.

    Like I don’t have the Twilight Zone music permanently cued.

    • #6
  7. skipsul Inactive
    skipsul
    @skipsul

    Matt Balzer (View Comment):

    skipsul (View Comment):

    Oh, it’s definitely spoofing.

    Like I don’t have the Twilight Zone music permanently cued.

    That’s just your normal tintinitis.

    • #7
  8. Yudansha Member
    Yudansha
    @Yudansha

    Phew!  I was hoping he wasn’t that off his rocker.

    • #8
  9. skipsul Inactive
    skipsul
    @skipsul

    Yudansha (View Comment):
    Phew! I was hoping he wasn’t that off his rocker.

    No, normally Yeti is much calmer.

    • #9
  10. Matt Balzer Member
    Matt Balzer
    @MattBalzer

    skipsul (View Comment):

    Matt Balzer (View Comment):

    skipsul (View Comment):

    Oh, it’s definitely spoofing.

    Like I don’t have the Twilight Zone music permanently cued.

    That’s just your normal tintinitis.

    If there’s one thing I regret, it’s not having a personal soundtrack everywhere I go.

    • #10
  11. skipsul Inactive
    skipsul
    @skipsul

    Matt Balzer (View Comment):

    skipsul (View Comment):

    Matt Balzer (View Comment):

    skipsul (View Comment):

    Oh, it’s definitely spoofing.

    Like I don’t have the Twilight Zone music permanently cued.

    That’s just your normal tintinitis.

    If there’s one thing I regret, it’s not having a personal soundtrack everywhere I go.

    • #11
  12. Yudansha Member
    Yudansha
    @Yudansha

    Matt Balzer (View Comment):

    skipsul (View Comment):

    Matt Balzer (View Comment):

    skipsul (View Comment):

    Oh, it’s definitely spoofing.

    Like I don’t have the Twilight Zone music permanently cued.

    That’s just your normal tintinitis.

    If there’s one thing I regret, it’s not having a personal soundtrack everywhere I go.

    Then you should run for president.  He has a soundtrack.  Or perhaps for Queen of England; she has one, too.

    • #12
  13. Matt Balzer Member
    Matt Balzer
    @MattBalzer

    Yudansha (View Comment):

    Matt Balzer (View Comment):

    skipsul (View Comment):

    Matt Balzer (View Comment):

    skipsul (View Comment):

    Oh, it’s definitely spoofing.

    Like I don’t have the Twilight Zone music permanently cued.

    That’s just your normal tintinitis.

    If there’s one thing I regret, it’s not having a personal soundtrack everywhere I go.

    Then you should run for president. He has a soundtrack. Or perhaps for Queen of England; she has one, too.

    That’s entrance music. Also good, but not the same. I’m talking rimshots, slide whistles, sad trombones, canned laughter, the Benny Hill chase music, the Monty Python dramatic chord, that sort of thing.

    • #13
  14. Johnnie Alum 13 Inactive
    Johnnie Alum 13
    @JohnnieAlum13

    I lost it at the #TaxJaps line. Laughed far too hard at that.

    • #14
  15. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Johnnie Alum 13 (View Comment):
    I lost it at the #TaxJaps line. Laughed far too hard at that.

    Merci beaucoup, Monsieur.

    • #15
  16. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    skipsul:Judge Mental: Flagged. Seriously, tone it down.

    DCorleone: You’re just another Hillary lover. Your post is a joke. #Hillarys[redacted]

    Umbra Fractus: Hey [redacted], take a break… you don’t have to be an [redacted] every day of your life.

    That’s the best part.

    • #16
  17. Judge Mental Member
    Judge Mental
    @JudgeMental

    I’d forgotten all about this.  Fun stuff.

    • #17
  18. Judge Mental Member
    Judge Mental
    @JudgeMental

    Percival (View Comment):

    skipsul:Judge Mental: Flagged. Seriously, tone it down.

    DCorleone: You’re just another Hillary lover. Your post is a joke. #Hillarys[redacted]

    Umbra Fractus: Hey [redacted], take a break… you don’t have to be an [redacted] every day of your life.

    That’s the best part.

    Thanks, but he redacted my favorite tag.

    • #18
  19. She Member
    She
    @She

    Moderator Note:

    "Redacting yourself" contravenes the Code of Conduct. Knock it off.

    This is  [redacted] [redacted]!

    Sheesh.  I had to redact myself.

    • #19
  20. She Member
    She
    @She

    That explains it.  Here’s the first paragraph of a weird PM I received recently.

    Yo, She!

    What the hell kind of name is that? Way I figure, you’re probably a guy too, just like that dude in the SWAMP with the eyelashes. Whats with you people anyway? #MAGA #DrainTheSWAMP

    I can’t put the rest of it in a public comment.  In his defense, though, the man seems very fond of cats.

    • #20
  21. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    She (View Comment):
    In his defense, though, the man seems very fond of cats.

    Now, exactly how did he state that? :twisted:

    • #21
  22. She Member
    She
    @She

    Arahant (View Comment):

    She (View Comment):
    In his defense, though, the man seems very fond of cats.

    Now, exactly how did he state that? ?

    [Redacted]

    • #22
  23. Titus Techera Contributor
    Titus Techera
    @TitusTechera

    Sure, but Arahant kinda had it coming!

    • #23
  24. Columbo Inactive
    Columbo
    @Columbo

    Arahant (View Comment):
    Arahant – First, the Haiku is a Japanese form, not Chinese. Second, these poems were written by an American in America.

    My personal favorite line ….

     

    • #24
  25. Umbra Fractus Inactive
    Umbra Fractus
    @UmbraFractus

    This explains so much.

    • #25
  26. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Umbra Fractus (View Comment):
    This explains so much.

    And you two had gotten to be such good friends.

    • #26
  27. Front Seat Cat Member
    Front Seat Cat
    @FrontSeatCat

    We don’t need no stinkin’ spoof – real life in the White House lately is stomach churning enough! I wish they’d stop giving Saturday Night Lives more skits!  Speaking of lurking celebrity guests, a name popped up when I was copying someone into a comment. Hint: the person has been thrown off college campuses (unfairly) and has lovely hair…..

    • #27
  28. skipsul Inactive
    skipsul
    @skipsul

    Titus Techera (View Comment):
    Sure, but Arahant kinda had it coming!

    Well, at least we know the backstory of why he was “gone” during Lent.  Apparently he was under house arrest for suspicion of using haiku code to pass nuclear secrets to the Norks.

    • #28
  29. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    skipsul (View Comment):

    Titus Techera (View Comment):
    Sure, but Arahant kinda had it coming!

    Well, at least we know the backstory of why he was “gone” during Lent. Apparently he was under house arrest for suspicion of using haiku code to pass nuclear secrets to the Norks.

    It was so silly. I would have used sijo for that.

    • #29
  30. DrewInWisconsin Member
    DrewInWisconsin
    @DrewInWisconsin

    She (View Comment):
    In his defense, though, the man seems very fond of cats.

    I’ve heard that one before.

    Didn’t help.

    • #30
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