Contributor Post Created with Sketch. Vive La Résistance!: A San Francisco Chronicle Columnist’s Plaintive Cry For Help

 

San Francisco Chronicle columnist Mark Morford posted a column that reads so far over the top, we had to excerpt a bit of it here to brighten your weekend:

It’s only been 100 days, but that’s a lifetime in Trump years. If disillusion is your measure, Trump is a runaway success. If moral heartache is the yardstick, we are miles high, and screaming doom. If this had all been a reality TV-show contest to see how quickly a single human could disembowel the national spirit, poison international goodwill and bring a pox upon all our houses, Trump has indeed proven to be the biggest loser.

Right now, there is, across the media spectrum, analysis, commentary, a number of outlets sort of half-heartedly attempting to take the “100 days” benchmark semi-seriously. As in, “Trump promised these 30 things in the first 100 days. How did he do?” and the like, as though he were an actual, functioning politician with actual, functioning ideas designed to improve the well-being of the nation.

He has nothing of the sort. He is just an ogre, the hell-mouth incarnate, a shockingly incompetent, weak-kneed, kindness-abhorring con man incapable of a single complex thought, a charlatan merely using the most powerful office in the land to rape the U.S. Treasury and launder mountains of cash through his own businesses. But wait, our president does “tell more untruths than any president in American history,” says Texas A&M political scientist George Edwards, editor of the scholarly journal Presidential Studies Quarterly. Does that count as an accomplishment?

It goes on from there. We invite you to read the whole thing (if you dare) and then post some calm and measured refutations in the comments. We’ll send them on to Mr. Morford along with the name of a good therapist and the recommendation that he seek medical help immediately. 

There are 64 comments.

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  1. I Walton Member

    This was in the Onion?

    • #1
    • April 29, 2017, at 12:36 PM PDT
    • 8 likes
  2. Biden Pure Demagogue Coolidge
    Biden Pure DemagogueJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    I’d like to donate to a shipping container filled with man panties for the poor fellow.

    • #2
    • April 29, 2017, at 12:36 PM PDT
    • 21 likes
  3. Boss Mongo Member

    Like sweet, sweet wine. Where’s my skull goblet?

    • #3
    • April 29, 2017, at 12:58 PM PDT
    • 12 likes
  4. Randy Webster Member

    He must have been seeing a different administration than I’ve been seeing.

    • #4
    • April 29, 2017, at 1:09 PM PDT
    • 3 likes
  5. Sweezle Member

    And here I am celebrating the “First Hundred Days” amazed that the three top reasons I voted for Trump have been accomplished. We have Neil Gorsuch on the Supreme Court. We have a huge decrease in illegal immigration. The “Wall” was never important to me, but increasing security at the border and stopping the flood of illegals was. And lastly, I wanted regulations rolled back and the economy to be boosted. We have a great start on this. Guess this proves I live in a alternate universe from Mr. Morford.

    • #5
    • April 29, 2017, at 1:23 PM PDT
    • 19 likes
  6. JcTPatriot Inactive

    Change “100 Days” to “8 Years” and change “Trump” to “Obama” and the entire column is Absolute Truth.

    I think that’s what Mark Mortified was really trying to say. Now that Barack is gone, he made this column to let out what he has been holding in for 8 years, but he didn’t want to anger his bosses, so he changed those two things. What an intelligent man!

    EDIT: Ok, so now I have read the entire column, and I am no longer laughing. This man is in serious need of psychological help before he harms himself and others. This is taking Trump Derangement Syndrome to the next level, and it is quite frightening if he really believes this. Trump is “rolling back rules protecting women”? What the heck does that mean? There has been “plenty of hate directed at the climate”? Today I was cussing the 80% humidity outside, is that what he means?

    Should he be investigated by the Secret Service for this line? “We survived a 100 days of this so far. Here’s praying we don’t have to survive 100 more.”

    • #6
    • April 29, 2017, at 1:37 PM PDT
    • 11 likes
  7. blood thirsty neocon Inactive

    His tears are delicious.

    • #7
    • April 29, 2017, at 1:40 PM PDT
    • 7 likes
  8. cdor Member
    cdorJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Unfortunately this guy is a prime candidate for the Tucker Carlson Show. It is also why I do not watch very much of that show. A waste of time reading , a waste of time listening, and a waste of Tucker’s time debating people like this whose brains are filled with mush.

    • #8
    • April 29, 2017, at 1:42 PM PDT
    • 5 likes
  9. mezzrow Member
    mezzrowJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Good God man, (slap) get hold of yourself!

    • #9
    • April 29, 2017, at 1:44 PM PDT
    • 7 likes
  10. jonb60173 Member

    and yet this guy probably adored Obama for such things as a fantastic crease in his pants, tolerating us (for whatever reason) and doing his best to make the US of A more fair

    • #10
    • April 29, 2017, at 1:55 PM PDT
    • 5 likes
  11. Sash Member

    Well it is San Francisco, hardly a place of sanity.

    I actually have noticed a slow calming of the liberal hysteria, at least on the right.

    I think Trump is doing fine. Better than I expected him to do, against much worse propaganda than I’ve ever seen. So, whatever. Still giving him the benefit of the doubt, and until the media does the same I can’t see how finding fault does any good at all.

    This kind of thing just makes them look very weak indeed. And it’s going to be a very very long next few years for them. I think they will have a worse decade than we had under Obama, because we at least still had our religion. For them politics is their religion. And it’s being torn asunder and proven silly daily.

    • #11
    • April 29, 2017, at 1:59 PM PDT
    • 10 likes
  12. DocJay Inactive

    I’m compiling an eat list of pansy men in case of the zombie apocalypse. I am soooo going slow roast his psoas muscles with a soy lime baste. The crazy liberal male eunuchs taste the best, so I’m told at least.

    • #12
    • April 29, 2017, at 2:01 PM PDT
    • 12 likes
  13. Randy Webster Member

    DocJay (View Comment):
    I’m compiling an eat list of pansy men in case of the zombie apocalypse. I am soooo going slow roast his psoas muscles with a soy lime baste. The crazy liberal male eunuchs taste the best, so I’m told at least.

    Your list isn’t going to do you any good. If there is a zombie apocalypse, do you think there will be cross country transportation? Or do you think they’ll come to Vegas to be easy meat for the DocJay killing machine?

    • #13
    • April 29, 2017, at 2:05 PM PDT
    • 3 likes
  14. DocJay Inactive

    Randy Webster (View Comment):

    DocJay (View Comment):
    I’m compiling an eat list of pansy men in case of the zombie apocalypse. I am soooo going slow roast his psoas muscles with a soy lime baste. The crazy liberal male eunuchs taste the best, so I’m told at least.

    Your list isn’t going to do you any good. If there is a zombie apocalypse, do you think there will be cross country transportation? Or do you think they’ll come to Vegas to be easy meat for the DocJay killing machine?

    I can’t divulge the full extent of my plans but I have a Dodge Sportswagon with a hog rendering device in the back. Shhhh. It’s only 3 hours to SF for me, albeit the highway will be jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive.

    I just read the whole wretched article. That man’s sad life is his own punishment. I crossed him off the eat list.

    • #14
    • April 29, 2017, at 2:11 PM PDT
    • 9 likes
  15. Roberto, Crusty Old Timer LLC Member
    Roberto, Crusty Old Timer LLCJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Ricochet Editors’ Desk: He has nothing of the sort. He is just an ogre, the hell-mouth incarnate

    Dollars to donuts the person in question gathered this from an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, amusing series at times, other than that I have nothing. I do not respond to hysterical, brainless dolts.

    If I spent my time doing that I would have no time for anything else.

    • #15
    • April 29, 2017, at 2:17 PM PDT
    • Like
  16. Randy Webster Member

    DocJay (View Comment):

    Randy Webster (View Comment):

    DocJay (View Comment):
    I’m compiling an eat list of pansy men in case of the zombie apocalypse. I am soooo going slow roast his psoas muscles with a soy lime baste. The crazy liberal male eunuchs taste the best, so I’m told at least.

    Your list isn’t going to do you any good. If there is a zombie apocalypse, do you think there will be cross country transportation? Or do you think they’ll come to Vegas to be easy meat for the DocJay killing machine?

    I can’t divulge the full extent of my plans but I have a Dodge Sportswagon with a hog rendering device in the back. Shhhh. It’s only 3 hours to SF for me, albeit the highway will be jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive.

    I just read the whole wretched article. That man’s sad life is his own punishment. I crossed him off the eat list.

    Are you planning on being a zombie, or an anti-zombie? There are some liberals who wouldn’t yield much nourishment to zombies.

    • #16
    • April 29, 2017, at 2:18 PM PDT
    • 4 likes
  17. DocJay Inactive

    Randy Webster (View Comment):

    DocJay (View Comment):

    Randy Webster (View Comment):

    DocJay (View Comment):
    I’m compiling an eat list of pansy men in case of the zombie apocalypse. I am soooo going slow roast his psoas muscles with a soy lime baste. The crazy liberal male eunuchs taste the best, so I’m told at least.

    Your list isn’t going to do you any good. If there is a zombie apocalypse, do you think there will be cross country transportation? Or do you think they’ll come to Vegas to be easy meat for the DocJay killing machine?

    I can’t divulge the full extent of my plans but I have a Dodge Sportswagon with a hog rendering device in the back. Shhhh. It’s only 3 hours to SF for me, albeit the highway will be jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive.

    I just read the whole wretched article. That man’s sad life is his own punishment. I crossed him off the eat list.

    Are you planning on being a zombie, or an anti-zombie? There are some liberals who wouldn’t yield much nourishment to zombies.

    I’m going for Gollum mode.

    • #17
    • April 29, 2017, at 2:28 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  18. Gumby Mark (R-Meth Lab of Demo… Thatcher

    Mark Morford? I thought I recognized the name. Here he is in 2008:

    Many spiritually advanced people I know (not coweringly religious, mind you, but deeply spiritual) identify Obama as a Lightworker, that rare kind of attuned being who has the ability to lead us not merely to new foreign policies or health care plans or whatnot, but who can actually help usher in a new way of being on the planet, of relating and connecting and engaging with this bizarre earthly experiment. These kinds of people actually help us evolve. They are philosophers and peacemakers of a very high order, and they speak not just to reason or emotion, but to the soul.

    The unusual thing is, true Lightworkers almost never appear on such a brutal, spiritually demeaning stage as national politics. This is why Obama is so rare.

    • #18
    • April 29, 2017, at 2:46 PM PDT
    • 13 likes
  19. Henry Castaigne Member

    As I have written before, it is this nonsense that will get Trump elected in 2020.

    • #19
    • April 29, 2017, at 2:46 PM PDT
    • 4 likes
  20. JustmeinAZ Member

    Gumby Mark (View Comment):
    Mark Morford? I thought I recognized the name. Here he is in 2008:

    Many spiritually advanced people I know (not coweringly religious, mind you, but deeply spiritual) identify Obama as a Lightworker, that rare kind of attuned being who has the ability to lead us not merely to new foreign policies or health care plans or whatnot, but who can actually help usher in a new way of being on the planet, of relating and connecting and engaging with this bizarre earthly experiment. These kinds of people actually help us evolve. They are philosophers and peacemakers of a very high order, and they speak not just to reason or emotion, but to the soul.

    The unusual thing is, true Lightworkers almost never appear on such a brutal, spiritually demeaning stage as national politics. This is why Obama is so rare.

    Barf! Are people like this for real?

    • #20
    • April 29, 2017, at 2:48 PM PDT
    • 7 likes
  21. Boss Mongo Member

    DocJay (View Comment):
    I’m compiling an eat list of pansy men in case of the zombie apocalypse. I am soooo going slow roast his psoas muscles with a soy lime baste. The crazy liberal male eunuchs taste the best, so I’m told at least.

    Don’t forget the fava beans–oh, and have a nice chianti on hand.

    • #21
    • April 29, 2017, at 4:23 PM PDT
    • 4 likes
  22. JcTPatriot Inactive

    Gumby Mark (View Comment):
    Mark Morford? I thought I recognized the name. Here he is in 2008:

    Many spiritually advanced people I know (not coweringly religious, mind you, but deeply spiritual) identify Obama as a Lightworker, that rare kind of attuned being who has the ability to lead us not merely to new foreign policies or health care plans or whatnot, but who can actually help usher in a new way of being on the planet, of relating and connecting and engaging with this bizarre earthly experiment. These kinds of people actually help us evolve. They are philosophers and peacemakers of a very high order, and they speak not just to reason or emotion, but to the soul.

    The unusual thing is, true Lightworkers almost never appear on such a brutal, spiritually demeaning stage as national politics. This is why Obama is so rare.

    Wow. That sounds like a Stuart Smalley gag on SNL.

    • #22
    • April 29, 2017, at 4:25 PM PDT
    • 7 likes
  23. Joseph Stanko Coolidge
    Joseph StankoJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    The first lady? Nonexistent. A bizarrely detached, sadly complicit (via total inaction and lack of speaking out) non-entity padding around the Trump’s New York penthouse in diamond-crusted heels that cost taxpayers millions per month to protect.

    So… let me get this straight. Trump is a bad President, because his wife is a bad First Lady, because she is “complicit” due to a “lack of speaking out.”

    He expects Melania to move to Washington in order to, what, organize the “Resistance” to her own husband from within the walls of the White House? Seriously?

    Someone actually pays this guy to write this stuff?

    • #23
    • April 29, 2017, at 5:00 PM PDT
    • 7 likes
  24. Gumby Mark (R-Meth Lab of Demo… Thatcher

    JustmeinAZ (View Comment):

    Gumby Mark (View Comment):
    Mark Morford? I thought I recognized the name. Here he is in 2008:

    Many spiritually advanced people I know (not coweringly religious, mind you, but deeply spiritual) identify Obama as a Lightworker, that rare kind of attuned being who has the ability to lead us not merely to new foreign policies or health care plans or whatnot, but who can actually help usher in a new way of being on the planet, of relating and connecting and engaging with this bizarre earthly experiment. These kinds of people actually help us evolve. They are philosophers and peacemakers of a very high order, and they speak not just to reason or emotion, but to the soul.

    The unusual thing is, true Lightworkers almost never appear on such a brutal, spiritually demeaning stage as national politics. This is why Obama is so rare.

    Barf! Are people like this for real?

    You are obviously not spiritually advanced.

    • #24
    • April 29, 2017, at 5:29 PM PDT
    • 5 likes
  25. Joseph Stanko Coolidge
    Joseph StankoJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Gumby Mark (View Comment):

    Barf! Are people like this for real?

    You are obviously not spiritually advanced.

    Even worse, you might be “coweringly religious.”

    • #25
    • April 29, 2017, at 5:40 PM PDT
    • 10 likes
  26. Front Seat Cat Member

    Renegotiating Obamacare, the care that no working person can afford and have run premiums and insurance companies out of orbit.

    Getting an honest, Constitution-respecting judge appointed to the Supreme Court.

    Taking a second look at NAFTA and gaining the interest of Canada and Mexico to re-tool for all benefit.

    Reviewing the disastrous Iran “deal”.

    Cutting money to Planned Parenthood.

    Cutting money for non-essentials such as PBS and the arts, which can continue via private contributors, since we need to bring down a multi-trillion dollar deficit.

    Giving control of schools back to states, teachers and parents.

    Showing the Israeli president respect, support and hope.

    Enticing major American corporations to invest in America, bring back off-shore jobs, money and investment.

    Undoing unnecessary and burdensome over-regulation that is hindering business and productivity.

    Giving support and funding to our military, and veterans.

    Standing up to red lines and calling thugs onto the carpet, like Syria gassing innocent women and children, while lying about it.

    Leaving Russia to wonder what the hell is going on…..

    Presenting a tax plan that will un-complicate the lives of all tax payers, and bring more investment.

    Undoing the stupid, mandatory multi-gender bathroom bill. I think everyone found a safe place to relieve themselves when needed up until then.

    Deporting illegal immigrants who have over-stayed their visas, sometimes for 20 years or more, deported criminals, and made those that wish to come here, work here, or live here respect the means to do so currently on the books.

    Wait – it’s only been a little over 3 months, so that’s just for starters.

    • #26
    • April 29, 2017, at 6:06 PM PDT
    • 8 likes
  27. Joseph Stanko Coolidge
    Joseph StankoJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Front Seat Cat (View Comment):
    Getting an honest, Constitution-respecting judge appointed to the Supreme Court.

    Not according to Morford:

    Trump did not appoint a Supreme Court justice.

    He even emphasized not, so I guess it must not have happened…

    • #27
    • April 29, 2017, at 6:20 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  28. The Reticulator Member

    I signed in and left a comment: “If you like your plan, you can keep your plan.”

    • #28
    • April 29, 2017, at 7:06 PM PDT
    • 1 like
  29. Dave of Barsham Member

    • #29
    • April 29, 2017, at 7:19 PM PDT
    • 12 likes
  30. Bishop Wash Member

    Gumby Mark (View Comment):
    Mark Morford? I thought I recognized the name. Here he is in 2008:

    Many spiritually advanced people I know (not coweringly religious, mind you, but deeply spiritual) identify Obama as a Lightworker, that rare kind of attuned being who has the ability to lead us not merely to new foreign policies or health care plans or whatnot, but who can actually help usher in a new way of being on the planet, of relating and connecting and engaging with this bizarre earthly experiment. These kinds of people actually help us evolve. They are philosophers and peacemakers of a very high order, and they speak not just to reason or emotion, but to the soul.

    The unusual thing is, true Lightworkers almost never appear on such a brutal, spiritually demeaning stage as national politics. This is why Obama is so rare.

    So he’s the one who started the Lightworker business with Obama. I remember people goofing on the Left calling him that but forgot where it started.

    • #30
    • April 29, 2017, at 7:58 PM PDT
    • 3 likes

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