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Ask Amelia: St. Valentine and the Interns
People of Ricochet, I am back. Just in time to sort out your love lives in the two weeks we have until Valentine’s Day.
Dear Amelia: I have two darling interns — bright, beautiful, all-American girls in the young leaders program at the Heritage Foundation. They want to balance careers and start families but can’t find life partners in this city. I want to protect them from Tinder and shield them from the late night spots and a decade of dating around, wasting their time. Basically they are me 10 years ago. What advice should I give them? — (Trying to be) Helpful on the Hill
Dear Helpful,
DC is a dating wasteland for decent young ladies, which they probably know by now. Assuming they won’t leave the swamp, the most important thing you can tell them is to keep living their lives while looking for Mr. Right to come along. Grow that career, enjoy their friends, and do their own thing. They can’t put everything else on hold to wait, because they might be waiting a while.
Of course, they still do want to meet a partner and, to do that, they need to stay true to their values and themselves. I’m also assuming that they’re not “hookup” kind of girls? Regardless, don’t hook up! These ladies will waste a lot more time in relationships that are going nowhere if they compromise who they are to get the guy.
Be their dating guide if you need to be, run their dating apps for them so they can separate those guys on Tinder who are like the other 99 percent of the guys on Tinder and which guys actually have potential. Meanwhile, the interns should consider meeting a nice guy in their hometown who they can import. DC is not a city built for sweet girls to find their happily-ever-after but, if they’re willing to stick it out, it can happen! Be their Yoda; they’re lucky to have you.
Dear Amelia,
My wife has been waiting 16 years for me to paint the inside of our house. How much longer can I put this off? #AskAmHam
@WrightBrunoS
Dear Wright,
I would suggest making clear steps towards this goal before every major event (Valentine’s Day, birthdays, Christmas, anniversary) to reduce your gift budget. At some point, it will be cheaper just to hire somebody else to do it.
Dear Amelia,
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2.5 years and talk frequently about getting married and starting a family — we are even picking out an engagement ring. My question: Have I totally killed the romance and stripped myself of the “surprise” of actually getting engaged since I know it’s (eventually) going to happen? What can I do to put this on the right track?
Wanting the Magic
Dear Magic,
I have a feeling you’re not going to like this advice, but take a deep breath and a step back. He knows what kind of rings you like and you are sure he’s going to pop the question. So let him. He’s going to decide when and where and, if you want that OMG OMG this is happening! surprise moment, you’re going to have to give up control of the situation. That might even mean telling him that you want it to be a surprise so you don’t want to overplan it together. He’ll propose when the time is right and you will have your moment, then a lifetime together when you get to the marriage, and that’s really what it’s all about.
Agree? Disagree? Have something to add? Leave a comment!
Want to submit a question? Tweet using #AskAmHam or email askamelia@mail.com.
Amelia, I am a fortunate man, as I have been married to the same wonderful person for 33 years. I love your advice to the (non) painter guy. Not so sure about the mom with the two lovely daughters, though. Just guessing, but for my two cents , you are advising her in a way that sets her up as the matchmaker for her own daughters. I can only think of many ways that can go wrong and zero ways it could work out. I do like your advice to Magic, but would guess that bell has rung. She may have to wait for the honeymoon.
So why is DC a dating wasteland (for women)?
Because all the men are gay. That’s the future for women in the leftist, statist society. Too bad that all the single women voting for Democrats can’t figure this out. If you vote for Daddy, that’s the only Daddy you’re gonna get.
Dear Amelia,
Re: Question 1
Yes, the warm weather has not arrived, and, yes, the character of Heritage interns would be beyond reproach. But please don’t hesitate to put in a word for appropriate dress when faced with questions such as this. One doesn’t have to endorse a Laura Ashley revival to be generally appalled at what many Washington interns consider appropriate work (and happy hour) attire. Help to eradicate what is known here as the “Skintern” look!
HC
We lived in our home in Pennsylvania for 25 years and never painted. It was stained wood, floors walls and ceilings.
Go for another 16 years.
Welcome back Amelia!
Tinder?
I’m glad you’re back!
Re.: young women dating.
I agree with cdor that playing matchmaker is a bad idea.
Tell the young ladies to go to church. They should seek out the young mamas who are shepherding their toddlers, and ask them if there is a good Sunday School class where they could meet some real men.
isn’t a popular game in Washington nightspots to play “Intern or Hooker”?
Could also hand them this book.
Not Tonight, Mr. Right: The Best (Don’t Get) Laid Plans for Finding and Marrying the Man of Your Dreams by Kate Taylor
With the same saucy, tell-it-like-it-is appeal of He’s Just Not That Into You, sex author Kate Taylor explains reasons to keep your clothes on in laugh-out-loud detail: how Oxytocin — the Fatal Attraction hormone — can make women up to ten times more emotionally attached after sex than men; why men never expect to get lucky on the third date, or any date; that relationships are more fun, easier and longer-lasting when you keep your feet on the ground instead of hooking them round his neck. An absolutely unique plan for making sure Mr. Right is more than Mr. Right Now: The Rules for how, why, and when not to have sex, this completely original take on an age-old concept offers: an Extreme Dating Makeover, a Q&A for skeptics, tactical plans, “questions to say yes to before you say yes to him,” what to do on those third, fourth, tenth…dates when nookie isn’t in the plan, and “I told you so” success stories, ultimately helping you to figure out the perfect time to have sex.
Useful guidance, indeed: Isn’t this why dinner, dancing, long walks, watching favorite films/sports, and reading aloud to each other were invented? :-)
Its always important to remain calm during emotional discussions.