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Why I Quit College Comedy Shows
“I got married “old school” — to a woman.” It was my first college show and I didn’t want it to be my last. I had heard the war stories from my fellow comedians: preternaturally sensitive college students, indoctrinated by academic and administrative lifers who are liable to faint at the sight of a sombrero. American colleges, it seemed, comprised a continent-wide archipelago of young people with the kind of ideological fealty to authority one associates with North Koreans.
I got lucky, though, in that my college debut was at West Chester University’s Freshmen Orientation Day. Instead of being surrounded by note-taking faculty, these freshmen were seated with their parents and siblings, lending the show a relative air of fun and freedom. Everything, it seemed, has been turned upside down. Gone are the days when you monitored what you laugh at in the presence of your parents: Thanks to the fevered political climate that prevails on American campuses, the presence of parents was actually liberating.
At least, that’s what my comedy instincts told me, but I wouldn’t know for sure unless I used material like the “old school” line above. Would the joke — ahem — trigger the immediate, guttural laugh I’d learned to expect from normals? I decided to go for it. Happily, the laugh was explosive and long-drawn out, as if it were self-reinforcing. One exception was the burly African American father in the front row who was sitting between his wife and their two teenage sons. Instead of laughing, he slowly nodded in the affirmative as a beatific smile crossed his face that seemed to say “College can try to kidnap my kids’ values, but not today.” The response seemed to signal that my act was not going to be what many parents in the audience feared: a sampling of the political correctness and identity politics that their adult children would be immersed in over the next four-plus years.
The show went very well and my college agent and I were all pleased with the result. I would receive further college bookings in Vermont, Wisconsin, and Wyoming. These shows, I was delighted to learn, were fun.
What, then, went wrong with my budding career in the college market? It’s a chicken-and-egg problem. In order to do college shows one must audition at college showcases where you inevitably find the soul-crushing, comedy-killing groupthink Caitlyn Flanagan describes in her excellent article in The Atlantic “That’s Not Funny! Today’s College Students Can’t Seem To Take A Joke.” Flanagan describes what she calls the “logic problem:”
Trying to explain to these kids any of the fundamental truths of stand-up – from why it’s not a good idea to hold a comedy show in the cafeteria during lunch hour, to why jokes involving gay people aren’t necessarily homophobic – is a nonstarter, and only serves to antagonize the customers… The logic problem is also responsible for the fact that many of the comics at the convention weren’t very funny, and several of those who were funny didn’t get much work, despite garnering huge laughs and even standing ovations.
This certainly describes the lay of the land at the showcases I attended, where performer after performer aggressively avoided violating the students’ twisted conception of tolerance. The showcase audiences are comprised of small teams of students assigned to take in several days of rock bands, comics, speakers, Muslims, and variety acts on behalf of their respective student bodies. Female students vastly outnumber male students. Various degrees of gender confusion are prevalent and, seemingly, reveled in. The emotional immaturity of students is striking, as if they’d be much more comfortable donning Mickey Mouse ears than, say, a military beret. This wasn’t Soft America, but Bounty Soft America.
As the gatekeepers to the college market, the showcases provided me something I hadn’t encountered in more than two decades of doing comedy: Audiences I didn’t like.
As for my fellow artists, many took time during their eight-minute sets to establish their victim bonafides, typically with some grievance against American society or living with a syndrome. The popular comic who closed the showcase, for example, departed from the apparently mundane task of making the audience laugh to open up about overcoming what he called “social anxiety disorder,” which I took to mean shyness. Another young woman — a speaker clad in high cut-off jeans — all but compared the frequency with which she was allegedly raped on campus to stubbing one’s toe.
Not surprisingly, booking safe bets at these events is the order of the day. By “safe bets” I don’t mean artists least likely to be unfunny or uninspiring but, rather, those who are in overt lockstep with the culture of grievance and victimhood. The showcases provided me with a firsthand glimpse of postmodern academic culture that on-campus shows did not. It was a parallel university that at no point intersected with the real universe.
Any hope one has that the fevered notions that prevail on campus will one day come in contact with reality is dashed with a visit to TheDemands.org, a leftwing website which has helpfully collated the clinically insane demands of America’s college students. Imagine dealing with, as administrators at Tufts University must, the demand that at least 13 percent of Tufts undergraduates identify as black.
Having performed at only two showcases, it’s tempting to think that I’m premature in turning my back on the college market altogether. Surely I can put “different eyebrows” on my act as I do for corporate audiences, for example. But standing in front of my college agent’s booth with her other clients after both my showcases was an experience as humiliating as it was indelible. While students lined up with giddy excitement to book various spoken-word artists (poets unshackled from the oppressive need to rhyme), I was left alone to nod and smile at passersby who politely smiled back as I battled the impulse to get drunk as quickly as possible.
Sour grapes? Absolutely. My experience doing college shows afforded me wonderful experiences and great memories. The flights, the rental cars, the sometimes less-than-ideal show settings didn’t bother me. I loved chatting with the locals at greasy spoons in small towns like Powell, Wyoming. The gorgeous posters created by the enthusiastic students to promote the shows adorn the walls of my home. The fantastic smell of old theaters made of heavy stone reminded me why I got into this business in the first place.
But, so long as the National Association of Campus Activities (NACA) continues to primarily serve the ideological rather than the entertainment needs of its clients, I’ll have to build on my success in other markets.
Published in Culture, Education, Entertainment
Great post, David. Always fun, even when you’re being serious.
David, thank you for the belly laughs at the end of a tough day. Those college snowflakes don’t know what they’re missing.
Seen David perform more than a few times, and even once brought my youngest son to a family friendly venue.
There are always one or two confused young adult audience members who don’t quite understand Dave’s sometimes politically incorrect humor. The looks on their face is delicious. Similar to the Winona Ryder meme currently floating around.
All I can say is if Dave is in proximity to your town, make a date and go. Twice.
Are you with me on the “Deeble for Contributor” campaign, DS? Would love to see/hear you guys again!
I prefer “Founder”.
Thanks, Dave!
Thanks, Dave! It’s always a great joy to see you in the audience – or anywhere else, buddy.
Thanks, Dave. It’s always a pleasure to see you – in the audience or anywhere else.
You’re welcome, George, and glad to hear I was able to provide some needed relief. That’s the best compliment I receive – when people remind me that laughter isn’t always a luxury but a necessity.
Thank you, Ryan, and happy to hear it.
Oops, sorry, shouldn’t have aimed as low as a mere “Contributor”, but everyone’s gotta start somewhere, right?
Good luck finding any: in California now I’m resorting to trips to Home Depot.
Dave, here in “To The Right of Nowhere”, I can hook you up big time…Gotcha covered.
What a great way to start my morning. Thanks David, you are a genius.
You’re lucky you don’t have to wait for them to tell you what species they are…
I understand that Seinfeld refuses to do college gigs because the audiences are so PC. So, you are in good company, David.
Dave I am glad you are getting more love around hear. Since I read you first or second post here I think you are a brilliant comedic writer and don’t understand why all your post don’t go to the man feed. Seriously Rob Long is a fool for not hiring you as a writer on his show. You consistently put out funny stuff, most good comedians are so hit and miss only the greats are consistent.
What cruise line do you work on? Assuming you are not on vacation…
I identify as Founder, Chairman of the Board, President, and Chief Executive Officer.
You know, I really am coming around to the view that we should give some deference to preferred names and titles. The “His Majesty” guy was onto something. I think I’d prefer my pronoun to be “Awesomeness.” The possessive form will be “Awestruck’s.”
@ David Deeble: Is Jon Stewart funny? I always notice that Seth Meyers and Jon Stewart seemed more about being on correct side more than they were about being funny. SNL is getting to be that way too. That kills comedy because you get the audience to like you without being funny. It’s hard to imagine anything more stultifying to comedy.
What’s more, there are even some podcasts I can’t listen to anymore because the P.C. narrative strangles both the art of logic of the medium.
I noticed that at the end of the Obama years and the beginning of the BLM movement, that it wasn’t enough to be passively leftist. You had to actively confirm you tribal allegiance all the time.
That’s funny, one of the methods I used to learn to juggle was with scarfs. It’s practically identical.
That article by Caitlyn Flanagan is extremely good by the way. Ricochet worthy.
Sounds like something out of The Fountainhead. Did Ellsworth Toohey organize NACA?
I tried this once after watching one of Dave’s videos, and it’s harder than I thought it would be (and I can juggle the regular way).
It’s easy to grab the bags as they float down, but not easy to let go of them cleanly. I found they got tangled or caught on my hand, or maybe it was just static electricity, but I would wind up just trying to shake them off and it ruined the rhythm of the process.
Dave is the master!
Richard – I have a cruise agent who represents me on virtually all lines. In practice I do a lot of Princess, Celebrity and Royal Caribbean as well as some luxury lines (Oceania, Regent, etc).
If you mean I have a genius for putting things off, compliment accepted! Thanks, Scott.
I find that juggling the three bags is also a great way to find out if you’re sober enough to drive.
It’s a fantastic article and the artwork in the column is worthy of the writing.