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5 Positive Thoughts for Celebrities and Snowflakes Grieving about President Trump
We’ve seen it for months now: Fragile celebrities and “special snowflakes” simply incapable of dealing with the election of Donald Trump. Michael Moore has called for a disruption of the inauguration, while disturbed attendees of Berkeley and (insert your local campus here) sign up on Facebook to derail activities on January 20. Rosie O’Donnell has called for martial law until Trump answers the charges against him, even though there are no charges against him. D through Q-list celebrities begged the Electoral College not to do their job.
It’s been, to turn a Trump phrase, Sad!
The most recent exemplar of EEI — Elitist Election Incapacitation — is a video of actual celebrities singing “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gainor. Though it’s a less violent move than Robert DeNiro wanting to punch Trump in the face, it still smacks of sadness. When asked why they made the video, W magazine said, “[It’s] the antidote for a still-grieving Hollywood, many members of which were outspoken Hillary Clinton supporters over the past year,”
Yes. Still grieving.
My mother taught me to care about my fellow man, right up to the moment you realize they are bat-crap crazy. Then, my mother always said, “Forget about those freaks and have a beer.”
So, before cracking open a world-famous WeeMac, Hinchtown Hammerdown, or a Gumball Head, here are some comforting thoughts that might help the angered, bereaved, sorrowful, and otherwise Sad! Let this be a beacon in your time of need.
1. Kim Jung Un Gets His Wardrobe Back
There’s nothing worse than a copycat, and nothing in Hollywood causes more strife then when two celebrities wear the same outfit. So, how great is it that North Korean dictator and Haband catalog hair model Kim Jung Un now doesn’t have to be embarrassed when he’s destroying the lives of his people? No more Hillary means he gets his closet back. No longer will he have to check People Magazine online to make sure his pantsuit-of-the-day won’t be sabotaged by the great empire of the Devil!
It’s pretty great for KJU. For the citizens of North Korea, it’s still just hell.
2. You Only Have to Worship One False God
Can you imagine if you had to worship both Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama? Honestly, how would you have time for that!? You’d have to rank your favorite — the first black president or the first woman president. If you even tried, you’d be a racist and a sexist in the same breath!
Thank goodness the people of Wisconsin, Indiana, Michigan, Ohio, and Pennsylvania saved you from that horror. Now you only have to worship Barack … and climate change … and diversity of everything but thought.
3. You Know Where Russia Is on a Map
Four years ago, when Mitt Romney mentioned Russia as America’s biggest geopolitical threat, you laughed. President Obama scoffed, “The 1980s are now calling to ask for their foreign policy back because the Cold War’s been over for 20 years.” And then you forgot all about Russia.
But now, you know they exist! You know their slang (see: kompromat). You know that Russian President Vladimir Putin is more than just a bare-chested judo warrior with a penchant for murdering former agents with polonium-210. To think if Hillary had been elected, Russia would be nothing more than a cold vodka manufacturer with a big, meanie leader who controls one-fifth of the US uranium reserves. Heck, if Hillary had been elected, maybe they’d own more!
4. There’s Always 2018
The beauty of America? There’s always another election on the horizon. And, in the Senate, of the 33 seats that are up for re-election, 25 of them are Democrats (or caucus with Democrats.) When you consider the huge losses under President Obama for Democrats across the country over the last eight years, you realize that come November 2018, Republicans could hold over 60 Senate seats!
That’s comforting.
5. At Least a Criminal Didn’t Get Elected
This will help in a huge way. You backed a criminal for President. Sure, Trump says nasty, horrible, terrible, hilarious things. Shame on him! But Hillary Clinton used a foundation as a slush fund. (And, now that she has no power, she is no longer able to sell access to that power. And, since she can’t sell access to herself or Bill for opportunities with the US government, she’s closing up shop.)
She illegally kept a server in her bathroom to circumvent government oversight. And, though you call Trump a liar all the time, let’s not overlook that Hillary did everything with her emails that she told all of America that she didn’t do.
She also lied about what caused the events that killed Ambassador Stephens, Tyrone Woods, Glen Dougherty, and Sean Smith. Hint: It wasn’t a video!
You’ve got admit, America dodged a bullet there. That should make you feel better. Right?
So, stay positive, angry rich people and bitter college students and their professors. As a not-so-great man once said, “Yes You Can!” A bit of advice? It would help if you’d stop calling fellow Americans racists. And bigots. And sexists. Oh, and stop saying you’re grieving. You sound silly. And Sad!
(NOTE: It really is understandable to be upset about an election result. It can be crushing when your candidate doesn’t win. I’ve been there. And this post isn’t for those people who got waylaid by the election results. It’s for those who are screaming and yelling because they don’t know how to re-group and try again. It’s for those who start riots, call for martial law, lie and scream the president is illegitimate. Those things deserve derision and mocking. They’re shameful acts from people who choose to place their ideology before their humanity. I have no patience for those who want chaos over the smooth transition of power. And, regardless of your politics, you shouldn’t either.)
Reposted from WIBC.com.
Published in Politics
The more pepper spray the better.
Indeed. I’m getting all misty-eyed.
Gets to me every time.
Sure, but then you go and write this and the beer comes out my nose – what then?
(Always really enjoy your posts!)
Thank you, Tony, for offering this consolation to those inconsolable ones with the thinnest skins on the planet. Maybe for the Californians it’s the plastic surgery? I don’t have as glib an excuse for the collegiates and their profs. I genuinely want to empathize with them – considering my own very distressed feelings with past elections over the years. And to some degree, I do empathize and feel sorry for them (a reaction I suspect they may, ironically, resent). But, there are so many past quotes from their own voices echoing in my head, that I have a hard time silencing things like, “it’s time to put on your big boy pants”, and “shake it off” and other pithy recommendations (or ridicules) from the enlightened entertainers and gloating politicians that I just give up. Like my teenagers when they didn’t get their way while growing up, I feel ready to simply offer my genuinely empathetic words, and just keep moving forward, definitely hoping they will figure out that while I do care very much for them, their endless protests are not going to change the outcome. My teenagers matured and grew by the experience into responsible reasonable adults. I just hope the snowflakes and fragile celebrities can do the same.
That’s a great one.
Here’s another good one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIhees_AKcI
A fie upon Katz and his calls for moderation, only direct action from the revolutionary vanguard will suffice! Let a thousand temper tantrums bloom!
Mao just had 100 flowers. Amateur!
After the 2008 election the watchword was, “We won.” After the 2016 election the watchword is, “You lost.”
A distinction without a difference.
Then, there’s this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25HN1kZtRIw
Never understood why people care about what entertainers think about politics. How many of these fools backed (Oliver Stone, Danny Glover, Sean Penn, Michael Moore ….) Hugo Chavez’s workers paradise of Venezuela, The Soviet Union (The Hollywood 10) and Cuba.
Given the crap that the place turns out year after, I don’t understand why people care what they think about movies, let alone politics.
Well said @tonykatz. It is difficult, however, not to feel some hurt that these people consider me/us and our values to be of no value. Only their feelings are countable/meaningful. We suffered 8 years of diminishment. No longer.
When you live the privileged lives these ‘celebrities’ live ‘NO’ just isn’t told to them so how can anyone expect them to react differently?
“Only ‘common’ people have to live and suffer, the rest of us are always in the golden bubble of wonderfulness… because we are, well, wonderful!” (every stompy foot celebrity… x10 for Rosie O’Donnell)