If Anyone Knows How to Handle Trump, It’s Hollywood

 

I wrote a guest column for Variety today. Here’s a sample:

I’m a Republican (sort of), so maybe I’m predisposed to look on the bright side of any Republican administration, even one that’s run by a Democrat. But it seems to me that if there’s any community that knows how to deal with irrational, misinformed narcissists with way too much power, it’s us.

President Donald J. Trump is the insane director you hired so you could get the actor you wanted, and you’re just waiting and hoping that the footage you’re seeing from the location can somehow, in editing, get stitched together into something usable. President Trump is the movie star you need to get the money for the project, but the movie star has decided to rewrite the script over the weekend, and the reports you’re getting back about the new pages are alarming. President Trump is the actor starring in your series who is going to make your life miserable for the next four years. President Trump is what you get when you put the talent in charge.

I mean, he’s probably going to be worse than that, but it’s not like he’s utterly outside of the Hollywood context. Petty, emotionally unstable behavior isn’t exactly unknown in the 818, 310, and 323 area codes. Score-settlers, braggarts, and braying egomaniacs are almost certainly within arm’s reach of you right at this minute. Look around you. If you’re a working professional in the entertainment industry and you don’t think you have a Donald J. Trump in your life, I’ve got bad news: You do, and you’re it.

If Hollywood wants what’s best for the nation, it’s time for them to share their unique expertise.

Published in General
Like this post? Want to comment? Join Ricochet’s community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Join Ricochet for Free.

There are 27 comments.

Become a member to join the conversation. Or sign in if you're already a member.
  1. Judge Mental Member
    Judge Mental
    @JudgeMental

    Maybe a bunch of them could get together and make a video where they all speak one at a time, repeating the same words again and again.

    I’m sure that would work.  ;-)

    • #1
  2. TKC1101 Member
    TKC1101
    @

    Wow, Rob, , interesting take.  I find it good to see you looking for similarity in someone you have shown such a dislike for.

    I kind of prefer the talent he is bringing with him. I know they do not fit the role as you envisioned it, imagine a war fighter as SecDef, or an education reformer at DoEd, or a guy who runs the worlds largest global operation as SecState.

    I know, the suits were expecting boxoffice talent but I say give them a try.

    You can always cast McCain as the traitorous villain, he has that teeth gritting thing that s works so well.

    As far as unstable behavior, I think you need to look at the McMullin voters for that.

    • #2
  3. Valiuth Member
    Valiuth
    @Valiuth

    Gone is the Golden Age of Hollywood when they would keep their crazy on the down low for the sake of appearances.

    • #3
  4. Roberto Inactive
    Roberto
    @Roberto

    An unusual take as on balance few groups can be said to have dealt with Trump’s electoral victory more poorly than the entertainment industry. The hysterics have been rather spectacular.

    • #4
  5. KC Mulville Inactive
    KC Mulville
    @KCMulville

    Sorry, Rob, but the results will be something like this….

     

     

    • #5
  6. kelsurprise Member
    kelsurprise
    @kelsurprise

    “a genuinely unhinged piece of talent” — I’m totally stealing that.

    Fun read, thanks.

    • #6
  7. Archie Campbell Member
    Archie Campbell
    @ArchieCampbell

    Roberto (View Comment):
    An unusual take as on balance few groups can be said to have dealt with Trump’s electoral victory more poorly than the entertainment industry. The hysterics have been rather spectacular.

    Wait ’til you see what he wrote about Paul Ryan.

    • #7
  8. goldwaterwoman Thatcher
    goldwaterwoman
    @goldwaterwoman

    Rob Long: President Trump is the actor starring in your series who is going to make your life miserable for the next four years. President Trump is what you get when you put the talent in charge.

    You missed it Rob. He’s not one of the undereducated actors who sit around most of the day waiting to say lines written by someone else and delivered with an emotion decided by a director who was hired by someone else. He’s the studio chairman with greenlight power.

    • #8
  9. Archie Campbell Member
    Archie Campbell
    @ArchieCampbell

    Rob Long:I wrote a guest column for Variety today. Here’s a sample:

     Score-settlers, braggarts, and braying egomaniacs are almost certainly within arm’s reach of you right at this minute.

     

    This is nonsense, Long–and I’m way too smart to fall for it. So much smarter than you. As I said to Zuck (as I call Mark Zuckerberg) on our weekly sailing brunch, “Zuck,* I know my yacht is a few feet shorter than yours, and I’m not quite as rich, but I’ll tell you one thing, I can buy and sell Rob Long.” To which he replied, “don’t worry Arch-dog (Zuck likes 20-year-old frat-boy slang), being so handsome and powerful more than makes up for the fact that you have a few dollars less than I do. And also, that Long guy sounds like a real Orkut, if you catch my drift.”

    *The spell checker kept changing this to “Suck.” Heh.

     

    • #9
  10. Brian McMenomy Inactive
    Brian McMenomy
    @BrianMcMenomy

    Archie Campbell (View Comment):

    Roberto (View Comment):
    An unusual take as on balance few groups can be said to have dealt with Trump’s electoral victory more poorly than the entertainment industry. The hysterics have been rather spectacular.

    Wait ’til you see what he wrote about Paul Ryan.

    Yeah, Aaron Burr would have shot Hamilton for 1/4 of what this poor excuse for a human being said.  Only in Hollywood would such a person get millions of dollars for such fabulous “creativity”.

    • #10
  11. The Reticulator Member
    The Reticulator
    @TheReticulator

     

    deleted by The Reticulator

    • #11
  12. Valiuth Member
    Valiuth
    @Valiuth

    Roberto (View Comment):
    An unusual take as on balance few groups can be said to have dealt with Trump’s electoral victory more poorly than the entertainment industry. The hysterics have been rather spectacular.

     

    Frankly this is rather mild by comparison.

    • #12
  13. Scott Wilmot Member
    Scott Wilmot
    @ScottWilmot

    From your article:

    On the one hand, yes, it’s going to be a difficult and slightly sickening four years

    I’m guessing you are writing this in reference to how you in Hollywood will view President Trump, but for me down here in Texas, it is how I view Hollywood.

    I don’t have a clue who Brandon Victor Dixon or Chelsea Handler is, and could not care a wit what Michael Moore or Lena Dunham, think. And Van Jones is just your run of the mill evil communist. I assume I have nothing in common with any of these people (other than Lena Dunham and I are Oberlin College alumni).

    One thing that Trump and I have in common is that we are loathed by Hollywood: he lives in “Persian Fantasia” and I live in “Flyover Country”. Being loathed and ridiculed is a bond we share. It’s a badge of honor.

    Again, from your article:

    Look, we’re all Americans, and we all want the best — or, at least, to mitigate the worst — for our country.

    I find it hard to believe that Michael Moore, Lena Dunham, Van Jones and I have much in common re wanting the best for our country. I would be overjoyed if Hollywood would disappear.

    I hope I am wrong. I hope you are right.

    Good writing and good try.

    • #13
  14. SecondBite Member
    SecondBite
    @SecondBite

    I love it, but who is going to do the editing?

    • #14
  15. Mike Rapkoch Member
    Mike Rapkoch
    @MikeRapkoch

    • #15
  16. I Walton Member
    I Walton
    @IWalton

    This based on campaign tactics, tactics that worked, strangely enough, not what he’s done as President.  That hasn’t happened yet right? or have I mentioned something.  What we have other than the campaign tactics that no longer matter, are appointments.   Which of those was the equivalent of an out of control hollywood ego?   Come on, lets save our credibility for when he really acts like a progressive and screws things up.

    • #16
  17. Addiction Is A Choice Member
    Addiction Is A Choice
    @AddictionIsAChoice

    Many politicians are hesitant about appearing in public without a teleprompter (see Obama, Barack.) I’ve always thought that instead of showering Democrats with love, money, and in-kind contributions, Hollywood should teach them how to memorize a script.

    • #17
  18. Richard O'Shea Coolidge
    Richard O'Shea
    @RichardOShea

    Rob Long: I’m a Republican (sort of),

    I hate to be the one to point it out – you founded a web chat site for conservatives, do weekly podcasts with famous republicans, and have written for National Review for the last twenty or so years.  I don’t think the weak qualifier will really fool anyone……

     

    • #18
  19. Doug Watt Member
    Doug Watt
    @DougWatt

    Rob Long:I wrote a guest column for Variety today. Here’s a sample:

    I’m a Republican (sort of), so maybe I’m predisposed to look on the bright side of any Republican administration, even one that’s run by a Democrat. But it seems to me that if there’s any community that knows how to deal with irrational, misinformed narcissists with way too much power, it’s us.

    I mean, he’s probably going to be worse than that, but it’s not like he’s utterly outside of the Hollywood context. Petty, emotionally unstable behavior isn’t exactly unknown in the 818, 310, and 323 area codes. Score-settlers, braggarts, and braying egomaniacs are almost certainly within arm’s reach of you right at this minute. Look around you. If you’re a working professional in the entertainment industry and you don’t think you have a Donald J. Trump in your life, I’ve got bad news: You do, and you’re it.

    If Hollywood wants what’s best for the nation, it’s time for them to share their unique expertise.

    Rob I can’t stop laughing. By the way you were much kinder to Hollywood than Joseph Wambaugh was in his book The Glitter Dome.

     

    • #19
  20. Eb Snider Member
    Eb Snider
    @EbSnider

    Amusing piece. Sounds like you Mr. Rob Long should be Trump’s chief of staff then based on your Hollywood personnel handling expertise. Also, so if Trump is a Hollywood Republican (sort of) and Ronald Reagan was certainly a strong Cali Republican… why is it that in a scene with such scarce right of center people produce more US Presidents than the always political active and visible left wingers?

    • #20
  21. Baker Inactive
    Baker
    @Baker

    Brian McMenomy (View Comment):

    Archie Campbell (View Comment):

    Roberto (View Comment):
    An unusual take as on balance few groups can be said to have dealt with Trump’s electoral victory more poorly than the entertainment industry. The hysterics have been rather spectacular.

    Wait ’til you see what he wrote about Paul Ryan.

    Yeah, Aaron Burr would have shot Hamilton for 1/4 of what this poor excuse for a human being said. Only in Hollywood would such a person get millions of dollars for such fabulous “creativity”.

    Uhh…I think you missed something here. Also, dude founded the site you paid money to comment on so he can’t be that poor an excuse for a human being.

    • #21
  22. Grey Lady Inactive
    Grey Lady
    @AimeeJones

    So how is this being received by its intended audience?

    • #22
  23. Ralphie Inactive
    Ralphie
    @Ralphie

    My sister works in a predominately female profession.  After a particularily crabby day at work with co worker sniping, she asked “where do these women come from?”, and I told her they are us. We are those women. And there is truth in that.  They say long nosed dogs don’t have good eyesight because they use their noses a lot. Some of us are like long nosed dogs without the ability to use the long nose usefully.

    • #23
  24. Archie Campbell Member
    Archie Campbell
    @ArchieCampbell

    Baker (View Comment):

    Brian McMenomy (View Comment):

    Archie Campbell (View Comment):

    Roberto (View Comment):
    An unusual take as on balance few groups can be said to have dealt with Trump’s electoral victory more poorly than the entertainment industry. The hysterics have been rather spectacular.

    Wait ’til you see what he wrote about Paul Ryan.

    Yeah, Aaron Burr would have shot Hamilton for 1/4 of what this poor excuse for a human being said. Only in Hollywood would such a person get millions of dollars for such fabulous “creativity”.

    Uhh…I think you missed something here. Also, dude founded the site you paid money to comment on so he can’t be that poor an excuse for a human being.

    The original Tweet got deleted in my response. We’re both talking about Joss Whedon here, not Rob.

    • #24
  25. Roberto Inactive
    Roberto
    @Roberto

    Valiuth (View Comment):

    Roberto (View Comment):
    An unusual take as on balance few groups can be said to have dealt with Trump’s electoral victory more poorly than the entertainment industry. The hysterics have been rather spectacular.

    Frankly this is rather mild by comparison.

    The bulk of them would also rather thoroughly violate the CoC.

    • #25
  26. Baker Inactive
    Baker
    @Baker

    Archie Campbell (View Comment):
    The original Tweet got deleted in my response. We’re both talking about Joss Whedon here, not Rob.

    Ha. Okay I get it now. That makes much more sense.

    For what it’s worth, Whedon did co-write Toy Story, which is amazing, everything else from him is pretty meh (or just plain bad).

    • #26
  27. Archie Campbell Member
    Archie Campbell
    @ArchieCampbell

    Baker (View Comment):
    For what it’s worth, Whedon did co-write Toy Story, which is amazing, everything else from him is pretty meh (or just plain bad).

    I like a lot of Whedon’s work: Roseanne, Firefly, Buffy, The Cabin In the Woods, the first Avengers movie, etc., but he is a surprisingly intemperate Twitterer, which surprised me a little initially. But with showbiz types I always make the default assumption that they are bed-wetting and degenerate Stalinists, so then if they say anything that’s even centrist I’m pleasantly surprised.

    • #27
Become a member to join the conversation. Or sign in if you're already a member.