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Breaking: Obama Praises Himself
On Thursday, President Obama released an “exit memo” reviewing his eight years in office. Shockingly, he thought his presidential tenure was pretty much the best thing ever. I wrote about the brag sheet today for the New York Post:
Apparently, in 2008, America was a smoldering hellscape ravaged by bloodthirsty neocons, greedy banksters, and intolerance lurking behind every Bush. But then the clouds parted, a rainbow framed the warming sun, and the smartest, kindest, boldest leader ever rode into our imperial capital on a white gender-indeterminate unicorn.
In less than a decade, he fixed the economy, delivered health care, united Americans, granted peace to the world, and healed the planet itself. My name is Obamandias, President of Presidents; Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
You gotta hand it to the guy: He’s not encumbered with excess humility.
…For nearly 2,000 words and more than a dozen graphs, Obama presents a Potemkin America that stands astride the globe, citizens dance arm in arm, and paychecks fall from the sky. But this is a standard tactic of the progressive left — insisting that politicians can fix all ills and how horrible things were before their guiding hand.
Hopefully, the next four to eight years can reverse all the damage he has done.
Published in General
Not a chance. Like the Clintons’ dismantling of our intelligence network, we’ll have no hint of the extent of the damage for at least five decades, much like the actual scholarly studies of the Great Depressions that are only now being pursued. And the actual damage will continue for at least a century. There’s no turning back the clock.
Just for starters, 16 of the last 24 years of civil service hires were made in Democrat administrations. Clinton’s tended to be partisan. Obama’s….
DOJ is one small example.
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Good one, Ryan!
I believe he launched a pre-emptive strike to avoid the New Yorker article :
A SELECTION OF THE 30 MOST DISAPPOINTING UNDER 30
Muh feels.
That link is awesome!
He understands. We don’t.
What we don’t understand or refuse to admit is that his savaging of America has been deliberate. Yes, despite the misleading graphs, things have gone his way. The pity to him is that little of it was done through the legislature and is thus immediately correctable.
This man’s treachery is only approached by his ego.
Admiral, surely you jest. Mr Obama is certainly not eloquent. When not reading text off the teleprompter, he stutters and reverses.
And since you are dissing Mr Trump for his grammar, consider that Mr Obama’s teleprompter, or a ten year old, would have known to use “who” when referring to a sentient person, rather than “that”.
Does anyone under 50 read The New Yorker?
Not to mention “corpseman.”
I will take the mangled speech and twitter musings over Obama’s insufferable arrogance any day.
Does anyone over 50 read it either?
UK out of the Maldives.
Austrians speaking Austrian.
The Army needs more Arabic speakers in Afghanistan.
That bright red line.
ISIS is “the junior varsity.”
Did the earth stop warming and sea-levels stop rising? Just wondering.
There might be more jobs in solar, but (a) are they any use to anyone? and (b) if they can’t be outsourced, they’ll just disappear instead when they become redundant and/or uneconomic.
Also, there ain’t no marriage equality for polygamists.
I certainly won’t miss having a president who acts like a smug, snotty sixteen-year-old who just read Catcher in the Rye and suddenly thinks he knows everything about everything and never misses an opportunity to let everyone know as much at every opportunity in the most condescending, holier-than-thou way – and if anyone dares challenge him, he becomes petulant, haughty, and ridiculing to the point of downright nastiness. I also won’t miss having a president who does not realize that grace and class have almost nothing to do with proper elocution, having a well-tailored suit, or knowing a Bordeaux from a Burgundy. Good riddance to this horrible man.
No offense to smug, snotty sixteen-year-olds intended.
What about the marriage equality for incestuous couples? If a father wants to marry his own daughter – or son, or both – who are we to say their love is wrong?
(And you can’t say, “But they could have weird inbred children.” The whole Prop 8 shebang that established gay marriage rested, in part, on the fact that reproduction can’t be taken into account in deciding who can or can’t get married…)
That’s an amazingly on-point description.
No comment.
the first President, by his own admission & omission, never made a mistake, and utilized Professor Hills “think” system to perfection.
Admiral,
With all due respect to your rank, style isn’t everything. Also, only a 14-year-old could possibly believe that Obama’s Presidency was a success. Aside from grammar enthusiasts, those who wanted a job, health care, a social environment other than South Beach & The Castro, were less than impressed.
I would say that almost every world’s government is absolutely thrilled to see Obama gone. They’ll deal with the late night tweeting. The ambivalence in the face of genocide, the stabbing in the back of allies, the corrupting of American military power, were more pressing issues.
How surprising.
Regards,
Jim
Very good story – I hope DeBlasio and O pick up a copy of the Post – I especially liked the unicorn line! It may take more than 8 years to clean up the mess, and he’s still making them…..
Well would we want this all the time?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulDv-hs5unI
If Obama recognizes that he requires someone to write his thoughts for him well then kudos for such self awareness and for acting to address this blemish in the perfectly creased pant legged Lightbringer.
I mean otherwise doubts could emerge as to his greatness, we cannot have that.
The most satisfying result of Trump’s election, Ryan’s skillful juggling of the House and McConnell grip on the Senate is the rapid and comprehensive deletion of the Obama section of future history books already entitled “The Age of Obama”.
In one night, he went from the most transformational president in US History to the historical equivalent of Richie Cunningham’s older brother Chuck.
Happy Days indeed.
At least they didn’t replace Chuck with a new brother the way they did with Mike on My Three Sons.
An ironic black hole!
We are reaching the Ricochet singularity. Time will fold back in upon itself. Or become a flat circle. I forget which.
And that’s why The New York Times‘ house “conservative” David Brooks will never write a mash note to you and your crispy-creased pants, Mr. Gawron. (Pauses to lean back further for even more dramatic gaze down nose…)
I think that’s offensive: Most fourteen-year-olds would be smart enough to know Barack Obama is an outrageous failure. It usually takes at least a bachelor’s-level college education to think the Obama administration was anything resembling a success.
Fixed that for you.
Who?
Oh.
And an impressively long nose down which to gaze
I know family who live near where supporters have bought him a mansion in Hawaii. They hope he stays on the mainland. Or they will never be able to go anywhere on an island that has most of its roads on the outskirts of the island. It will be a hellhole if he moves there and they are not pleased. (and you’ll never be able to play golf on a island that most retirees moved to so that they could play golf all year)