Luddite Terrorist Strikes Dijon

 

As I impatiently await for the UPS guy to deliver my shiny new iPhone 7 Plus, a horrifying video landed in my news feed.

9to5Mac has the scoop:

French media has posted multiple videos of a man in an Apple Store in Dijon, France, smashing tens of thousands of dollars worth of iPhones and Macs. He removed display products from their stands, placed them flat on the tables and then smashed them with a heavy steel ball used for the popular French game of Boules.

Most of the products he smashed were iPhones, but he also smashed at least one MacBook and multiple iMacs, according to iPhonote. The videos were tweeted by @quentin_IOS.

The man can be heard shouting about his consumer rights. Some reports say that he claims Apple refused to honor the EU requirement to provide warranty cover for two years after purchase.

Luckily, no one was hurt during the technophobic tantrum and mall security staff stopped the French stereotype before he could destroy all the precious Apple devices. Considering how many smartphones he smashed, the iPhone I’ll receive this afternoon just shot up in value.

There are 32 comments.

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  1. Suspira Member
    Suspira
    @Suspira

    So everybody in that store just calmly watched him do that? Incroyable.

    • #1
  2. Chris Campion Coolidge
    Chris Campion
    @ChrisCampion

    The French are known to be extremely tough in attacking things that don’t fight back.  That’s his Maginot Line, the iPhone, and he’ll be damned if he’ll take it anymore.

    Merde.

    • #2
  3. ParisParamus Member
    ParisParamus
    @ParisParamus

    Typically French for this to go on and on with no one intervening. I would have tackled the guy.

    • #3
  4. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    I thought I was hearing gunshots at first; scared the daylights out of me. And for people to stand there and watch–I’m no iPhone fan, but that is truly weird. They probably feared they’d be shot if they tried to stop him. I’ll stick with my Android, thank you very much!

    • #4
  5. Basil Fawlty Member
    Basil Fawlty
    @BasilFawlty

    In Dijon.  And no one could mustard a response!

    • #5
  6. Eric Hines Inactive
    Eric Hines
    @EricHines

    Onliest thing apples are good for is making cider and pies.  Or maybe cider pies.

    Eric Hines

    • #6
  7. Eric Hines Inactive
    Eric Hines
    @EricHines

    ParisParamus:Typically French for this to go on and on with no one intervening. I would have tackled the guy.

    Those watching Kitty Genovese weren’t all French.

    Eric Hines

    • #7
  8. Phil Turmel Coolidge
    Phil Turmel
    @PhilTurmel

    Hmmm.  I don’t think I could serve on a jury for this case if it was held here.  I despise Apple, and buy none of their products.  Just a little biased.

    • #8
  9. Mike Rapkoch Moderator
    Mike Rapkoch
    @MikeRapkoch

    He destroyed smart phones? He’s my hero.

    • #9
  10. ParisParamus Member
    ParisParamus
    @ParisParamus

    https://www.yahoo.com/movies/new-documentary-the-witness-debunks-the-myths-of-163914096.html

    Eric Hines:

    ParisParamus:Typically French for this to go on and on with no one intervening. I would have tackled the guy.

    Those watching Kitty Genovese weren’t all French.

    Eric Hines

    • #10
  11. Eric Hines Inactive
    Eric Hines
    @EricHines

    ParisParamus:

    https://www.yahoo.com/movies/new-documentary-the-witness-debunks-the-myths-of-163914096.html

    Eric Hines:

    ParisParamus:Typically French for this to go on and on with no one intervening. I would have tackled the guy.

    Those watching Kitty Genovese weren’t all French.

    Eric Hines

    Yeah, I’ve seen that, too.  It’s repetition doesn’t make it accurate.

    Eric Hines

    • #11
  12. ParisParamus Member
    ParisParamus
    @ParisParamus

    Sorry, I wolf have approached and tackled this girly man jerk.

    • #12
  13. Claire Berlinski, Ed. Editor
    Claire Berlinski, Ed.
    @Claire

    Wow. I’m in Paris and this is the first I’ve seen this news. It is amazing that no one thought to stop him, and even the security guard didn’t seem especially exercised! I wonder if what he did was so strange that it didn’t trigger people’s “This is a criminal!” buttons? Is it possible they thought it was some kind of performance art? It doesn’t look as if people are looking on in fear and horror, does it? They look curious and bewildered.

    If you understand him, it’s even weirder. He’s very polite, and just like everyone in France, he can’t resist giving everyone an educational lecture. “Ladies and gentlemen, [unclear] the Law of Consumer Rights, yes?” Then it looks as if someone there gave him a thumbs-up or said, “Yes,” and he points to them, gives them a thumbs up, and says, “Thank you both.” So I’m guessing the people there were thinking, “This is some kind of publicity stunt.”

    He continues: “Apple is a company that violates the Law of Consumer Rights. They refused to refund me in depth according to the Law of Consumer Rights. I have warned: I said, ‘Refund me,’ and they said no. Do you know what happens then? [smash] … Voilà, that’s what happens.”

    He’s only rude when someone on the other side of the room yells at him and he replies, “Shut your face.” I think maybe that’s when it dawns on people there that it isn’t supposed to be happening? He’s so calm, and he looks so typical of people who’d be in an Apple store, that I reckon people thought, “They’re rolling out some inventive new Apple product or feature.” I can’t explain it otherwise.

    Oh, my … I just found the video of what happened after. This gets better …

    This guy would have been pulverized faster than those iPhones if he pulled that stunt in Paris. No wonder people here laugh at the provinces. I guess that’s where we get the word “provincial.”

    Oh, one more thing — he’s right about the Law of Consumer Rights, and it’s really changed France for the better. It used to be a huge hassle to get a refund on an unsatisfactory or defective product here. The law fixed that.

    • #13
  14. Claire Berlinski, Ed. Editor
    Claire Berlinski, Ed.
    @Claire

    There are a few more videos floating around — it looks as if not only did people watch this calmly, they just kept shopping!

    Now the French media’s having fun by describing him as “a radicalized hipster.”

    • #14
  15. Fake John/Jane Galt Coolidge
    Fake John/Jane Galt
    @FakeJohnJaneGalt

    I am trying to figure out why people are saying they would have stopped him?  How?  Why?  Do you have the authority to legally stop a person or use force?  The moment you touch a person in a manner they don’t like you have assaulted them leaving yourself open to criminal and civil litigation.  Why would you want to do that?  Seems like too much of a risk for a bunch of iPhones that are not yours, owned by a company that will not help you.

    • #15
  16. JimGoneWild Coolidge
    JimGoneWild
    @JimGoneWild

    I thought the title was Jon’s opening line for a Grey Poupon joke. No? Sacre’ bleu!

    • #16
  17. Heather Champion Member
    Heather Champion
    @HeatherChampion

    He should contact Hillary, see if she needs extra staffers.

    • #17
  18. Heather Champion Member
    Heather Champion
    @HeatherChampion

    Claire Berlinski, Ed.:There are a few more videos floating around — it looks as if not only did people watch this calmly, they just kept shopping!

    Now the French media’s having fun by describing him as “a radicalized hipster.”

    “Radicalized hipster” made me burst our laughing!

    • #18
  19. Fred Houstan Member
    Fred Houstan
    @FredHoustan

    Except that he’s not a Luddite. He’s a snowflake consumer, and thinks that his privilege is license for his madness and destruction of property.

    He’s quite like a Sanders supporter.

    • #19
  20. dukenaltum Coolidge
    dukenaltum
    @dukenaltum

    I think Apple should ask for his extradition to Cupertino where a Jury of Apple fanboys will pass summary judgement on him and sentence him to stand outside the Apple Store for the next thirty year in a line for new Apple products but never reach the front of the line and never be allowed to buy any Apple product.

    p.s. I am pretty sure they would never be so merciful and cast him into an iPad wave soldering machine in China for integration into the hive.

    • #20
  21. Fake John/Jane Galt Coolidge
    Fake John/Jane Galt
    @FakeJohnJaneGalt

    Heather Champion:He should contact Hillary, see if she needs extra staffers.

    Well that will get him immunity from prosecution anyway.

    • #21
  22. Robert McReynolds Inactive
    Robert McReynolds
    @RobertMcReynolds

    Suspira:So everybody in that store just calmly watched him do that? Incroyable.

    They are French, what do you expect?

    • #22
  23. Robert McReynolds Inactive
    Robert McReynolds
    @RobertMcReynolds

    See the radical private property rights person inside me wanted to tackle him and bash his face in with that stupid metal ball of his, but then I would be villain and he the hero once the media got into gear. Anyone looking for signs of Western Civ death? I say this is good evidence because no one gave a damn that some prissy little snot wad was violating private property rights over some brain dead assumption that “Apple owed” him.

    • #23
  24. Gleeful Warrior Inactive
    Gleeful Warrior
    @GleefulWarrior

    So…where are the men in Dijon, France?

    • #24
  25. Dustoff Inactive
    Dustoff
    @Dustoff

    Mesdames et Messieurs, comment puet-on dire petite “P-ick” en francais?

    • #25
  26. Umbra Fractus Inactive
    Umbra Fractus
    @UmbraFractus

    Dustoff:Mesdames et Messieurs, comment puet-on dire petite “P-ick” en francais?

    Je ne sais pas, mais, “cul”* est un bon mot.

    *Prononcé “tchou” en la Louisianne. Je ne sais pas la raison.

    (If anybody actually understands this, I apologize for any mistakes. I haven’t spoken French in years, and even then I just learned it in high school.)

    • #26
  27. James Gawron Thatcher
    James Gawron
    @JamesGawron

    Jon,

    I’m surprised nobody took the heavy steel ball away from him and hit him in the head with it. Just a thought.

    Regards,

    Jim

    • #27
  28. EB Thatcher
    EB
    @EB

    Eric Hines: Yeah, I’ve seen that, too. It’s repetition doesn’t make it accurate.

    And, of course, it doesn’t convince people who want the Genovese story to be true.

    • #28
  29. Fake John/Jane Galt Coolidge
    Fake John/Jane Galt
    @FakeJohnJaneGalt

    James Gawron:Jon,

    I’m surprised nobody took the heavy steel ball away from him and hit him in the head with it. Just a thought.

    Regards,

    Jim

    Sounds like a good way to get locked up for assault and battery.  And why do it?  You think the Apple corporation would thank you for saving their products?  I suspect they would condemn your actions and ban you from their stores for life.

    • #29
  30. James Gawron Thatcher
    James Gawron
    @JamesGawron

    Fake John/Jane Galt:

    James Gawron:Jon,

    I’m surprised nobody took the heavy steel ball away from him and hit him in the head with it. Just a thought.

    Regards,

    Jim

    Sounds like a good way to get locked up for assault and battery. And why do it? You think the Apple corporation would thank you for saving their products? I suspect they would condemn your actions and ban you from their stores for life.

    No, no. I didn’t say hit him with the battery (it might explode). Hit him with the heavy steel ball. As for being excluded from their stores, I have no intention of paying $700 for a phone or $1500 for a laptop so I am self-excluding anyway. Who cares about Apple, I just think he’s an as#.

    Regards,

    Jim

    • #30

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