Meet an Americus Trumpus in a New Children’s Book

 

a-childs-first-book-of-trump-9781481488006_lgSome of us grew up with Where the Wild Things Are. But today’s kids get something more terrifying and nightmare-inducing when a children’s book, inspired by the Republican front runner Donald Trump, hits the shelves this summer.

No, really! It’s called A Child’s First Book of Trump by comedian Michael Ian Black and it comes out just in time for the Republican presidential convention. The parody book that’s intended for adults tries to figure out what to do when an “Americus Trumpus” enters the race for president.

As one article put it, an Americus Trumpus is:

“a curious creature, very often spotted in the wild, but confounding to our youngest citizens. A business mogul, reality TV host, and now … political candidate?”

Its sing-song rhyming would do justice to Dr. Seuss. Here is a snippet from the publisher’s website of what readers can expect:

The beasty is called an American Trump. Its skin is bright orange, its figure is plump. Its fur so complex you might get enveloped. Its hands though are, sadly, underdeveloped.

And considering the exchange from CNN’s GOP Town Hall with Anderson Cooper the other night, in which he accused Trump of acting like a five-year-old after he said he was fighting with Cruz because he “started it.” This book couldn’t be more appropriate for the 2016 election.

There are 36 comments.

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  1. Valiuth Inactive
    Valiuth
    @Valiuth

    Brilliant!

    “Its hands are underdeveloped” I love it.

    • #1
  2. Carey J. Inactive
    Carey J.
    @CareyJ

    Even a spoof should avoid Latin if it can’t get it right. Modifiers go after the noun they refer to, e.g. “Pax Britannia”, “Scipio Africanus”, “gluteus maximus”. The correct usage would be “Trumpus Americanus”.

    • #2
  3. The Cloaked Gaijin Member
    The Cloaked Gaijin
    @TheCloakedGaijin

    Looks like the Lorax with a thyroid problem.

    • #3
  4. Douglas Inactive
    Douglas
    @Douglas

    Michael Ian Black hates the Right. Ted Cruz too. Oh, and he mocked Andrew Breitbart’s death.

    But hey, he wrote a book about Trump, so by all means, send him your money.

    • #4
  5. Tom Riehl Inactive
    Tom Riehl
    @TrinityWaters

    I’ve been mulling the question of my continued support of Ricochet, and this [redacted] is not helping me or Ricochet.  Can we talk about the Catholic priest who was crucified by our Islamic betters instead?

    • #5
  6. Dorothea Inactive
    Dorothea
    @Dorothea

    Douglas:Michael Ian Black hates the Right. Ted Cruz too. Oh, and he mocked Andrew Breitbart’s death.

    But hey, he wrote a book about Trump, so by all means, send him your money.

    Re the Breitbart remarks. What a creep.

    • #6
  7. Dorothea Inactive
    Dorothea
    @Dorothea

    Tom Riehl:I’ve been mulling the question of my continued support of Ricochet, and this [redacted] is not helping me or Ricochet.  Can we talk about the Catholic priest who was crucified by our Islamic betters instead?

    That would be an interesting thread.

    • #7
  8. Dorothea Inactive
    Dorothea
    @Dorothea

    I will say something nice about Mr. Black. He’s a capitalist!

    • #8
  9. Roberto Member
    Roberto
    @Roberto

    Um, well all parents have to use their own judgement and consider carefully when deciding what is best for their progeny but my personal opinion is that something such as  The Little Red Hen is likely a better starting point for the next generation.

    • #9
  10. James Of England Moderator
    James Of England
    @JamesOfEngland

    Tom Riehl:I’ve been mulling the question of my continued support of Ricochet, and this [redacted] is not helping me or Ricochet. Can we talk about the Catholic priest who was crucified by our Islamic betters instead?

    If you want to talk about that, why not write a post and get the conversation rolling? We cannot have every post being to every member’s tastes, but there is no conspiracy here. If a member wants to write about something, they write about that thing.

    While I take your word that this doesn’t appeal to you, it does to some, so it does help Ricochet. Your post would, I hope, help you and help Ricochet. Complaining about other people having different tastes seems unlikely to accomplish either.

    • #10
  11. James Lileks Contributor
    James Lileks
    @jameslileks

    This makes me wince. See, if Cruz was the top dog, these people would be putting out books about the scary Dominionist clay-faced bogeyman who wanted children to grow up in the salt mines. It would be sold at the boutiquey gift-shop down the street from my house, where all the “humor” books flatter the progressive clientele and remind them what the proper people hold in contempt. (This store carried all the books that reinforced Bush’s chimpy idiocy.) Everyone on the right – a category that has temporarily expanded to include Trump – is a scary character, easy for parody.

    That said, I think they would have a hard time with Rubio.

    • #11
  12. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    There’s nothing wrong with the comedic stylings of Michael Ian Black that adding humor wouldn’t fix.

    • #12
  13. Douglas Inactive
    Douglas
    @Douglas

    James Lileks:This makes me wince. See, if Cruz was the top dog, these people would be putting out books about the scary Dominionist clay-faced bogeyman who wanted children to grow up in the salt mines.

    This. There are no good right wingers to people like Black, only temporarily useful ones like John McCain. And after the primary, it’s right back to being the Devil.

    • #13
  14. DialMforMurder Inactive
    DialMforMurder
    @DialMforMurder

    This is not brilliant. Just weird and very sad. Don’t kids get to be spared the 24/7 political drivel their parents are enslaved to? What kind of loser writes children’s books like this?

    • #14
  15. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    DialMforMurder:This is not brilliant. Just weird and very sad. Don’t kids get to be spared the 24/7 political drivel their parents are enslaved to? What kind of loser writes children’s books like this?

    It’s not for children, DMfM. It’s for Democrats.

    Your confusion is understandable. The difference is that children have higher standards.

    • #15
  16. GirlWithAPearl Inactive
    GirlWithAPearl
    @GirlWithAPearl

    Douglas:Michael Ian Black hates the Right. Ted Cruz too. Oh, and he mocked Andrew Breitbart’s death.

    But hey, he wrote a book about Trump, so by all means, send him your money.

    The dawn of realization rises over the mountain! I hear Beethoven’s Third for some reason… Yes, Trump really is that bad, ‘specially for the womenfolk. Just bought the book. Love it love it love it. However, it’s way over the head of my family members who’ve joined the Orange Revolution. But I’ll continue to hope and pray they one day grow into it.

    Oh and by the way, it’s Breitbart.com that is doing the best (which is to say hideous) job of mocking Andrew Breitbart’s death.

    #NeverTrump

    • #16
  17. GirlWithAPearl Inactive
    GirlWithAPearl
    @GirlWithAPearl

    Oh, I see my book won’t be delivered until July 12th, a week or so before the Republican Conflagration in Cleveland… interesting timing. Might be a mistake because I think by then there won’t be much besides a few fading freckles left to assail. Still, I want one to mark the spot where Casino Donny once stood and rolled the dice with my future.

    #NeverNeverTrump

    • #17
  18. Grosseteste Thatcher
    Grosseteste
    @Grosseteste

    Mother-in-law has gotten our children “Why Mommy is a Democrat” and “Mama voted for Obama,” both children’s books, but really intended to flatter the prejudices of the parents.  They were indeed featured prominently in every bookstore in Chicago, where she’s from.

    • #18
  19. Liz Inactive
    Liz
    @Liz

    Grosseteste:Mother-in-law has gotten our children “Why Mommy is a Democrat” and “Mama voted for Obama,” both children’s books, but really intended to flatter the prejudices of the parents. They were indeed featured prominently in every bookstore in Chicago, where she’s from.

    Goodness! That must be…trying.

    • #19
  20. Dorothea Inactive
    Dorothea
    @Dorothea

    James Lileks:This makes me wince. See, if Cruz was the top dog, these people would be putting out books about the scary Dominionist clay-faced bogeyman who wanted children to grow up in the salt mines. It would be sold at the boutiquey gift-shop down the street from my house, where all the “humor” books flatter the progressive clientele and remind them what the proper people hold in contempt. (This store carried all the books that reinforced Bush’s chimpy idiocy.) Everyone on the right – a category that has temporarily expanded to include Trump – is a scary character, easy for parody.

    That said, I think they would have a hard time with Rubio.

    It’s true. There’s something “let’s teach our children to demonize public figures early” aspect. But of course, the book is really for adults, I would think. I don’t imagine even Lefty kids would sit through such a book, or that their parents would think of reading it to them.

    • #20
  21. Dorothea Inactive
    Dorothea
    @Dorothea

    Grosseteste:Mother-in-law has gotten our children “Why Mommy is a Democrat” and “Mama voted for Obama,” both children’s books, but really intended to flatter the prejudices of the parents. They were indeed featured prominently in every bookstore in Chicago, where she’s from.

    Lord have mercy, I have to take it all back. Oh dear.

    • #21
  22. Grosseteste Thatcher
    Grosseteste
    @Grosseteste

    Liz:

    Grosseteste:Mother-in-law has gotten our children “Why Mommy is a Democrat” and “Mama voted for Obama,” both children’s books, but really intended to flatter the prejudices of the parents. They were indeed featured prominently in every bookstore in Chicago, where she’s from.

    Goodness! That must be…trying.

    It can be.  Thankfully, my wife has much less than her share of liberal smugness–it’s hoarded by her aunt, who has the smugness of ten in-laws plus two.  She’s great, but I’m glad we rarely see her.

    • #22
  23. Grosseteste Thatcher
    Grosseteste
    @Grosseteste

    Dorothea:

    Grosseteste:Mother-in-law has gotten our children “Why Mommy is a Democrat” and “Mama voted for Obama,” both children’s books, but really intended to flatter the prejudices of the parents. They were indeed featured prominently in every bookstore in Chicago, where she’s from.

    Lord have mercy, I have to take it all back. Oh dear.

    They’re not very good books, and though they have been read to our daughter out of a perfunctory acknowledgement of the gift, it’s not something the kid or the parent is eager to read again after exposure.  There’s a level of liberal true believer who thinks it’s great to pick up one of these propaganda books as a lark, but who can still get embarrassed when actually sitting down to read the clumsily written and painfully earnest religious tract to an actual child relation in your charge.  It’s immediately obvious that there’s a thousand better things in the house to read.

    Of course the aforementioned aunt might seek them out to read nightly if she stayed here…

    • #23
  24. Grosseteste Thatcher
    Grosseteste
    @Grosseteste


    James Lileks
    : See, if Cruz was the top dog, these people would be putting out books about the scary Dominionist clay-faced bogeyman

    Never thought about it before, but Cruz could totally be a shapeshifter.  A good one like Odo, though.

    • #24
  25. Dorothea Inactive
    Dorothea
    @Dorothea

    Grosseteste:

    Dorothea:

    Grosseteste:Mother-in-law has gotten our children “Why Mommy is a Democrat” and “Mama voted for Obama,” both children’s books, but really intended to flatter the prejudices of the parents. They were indeed featured prominently in every bookstore in Chicago, where she’s from.

    Lord have mercy, I have to take it all back. Oh dear.

    They’re not very good books, and though they have been read to our daughter out of a perfunctory acknowledgement of the gift, it’s not something the kid or the parent is eager to read again after exposure. There’s a level of liberal true believer who thinks it’s great to pick up one of these propaganda books as a lark, but who can still get embarrassed when actually sitting down to read the clumsily written and painfully earnest religious tract to an actual child relation in your charge. It’s immediately obvious that there’s a thousand better things in the house to read.

    Of course the aforementioned aunt might seek them out to read nightly if she stayed here…

    OK, thank goodness. That’s why I meant “even kids in Lefty household” don’t want to sit through that stuff.

    Kids in general have better taste.

    • #25
  26. Bob Laing Member
    Bob Laing
    @

    Neat. Should I hold my breathe until Michael Ian Black puts out a children’s book about Hillary?

    I offer Where the Servers Are as a potential title.

    • #26
  27. Johnny Dubya Inactive
    Johnny Dubya
    @JohnnyDubya

    Tom Riehl:I’ve been mulling the question of my continued support of Ricochet, and this [redacted] is not helping me or Ricochet. Can we talk about the Catholic priest who was crucified by our Islamic betters instead?

    I’m all for conversation about serious topics.  But I think the occasional lightheartedness will bring more members to Ricochet than the number lost because the posts are not continually grim.

    • #27
  28. Front Seat Cat Member
    Front Seat Cat
    @FrontSeatCat

    The excerpts are actually pretty funny :-)

    • #28
  29. Dorothea Inactive
    Dorothea
    @Dorothea

    Johnny Dubya:

    Tom Riehl:I’ve been mulling the question of my continued support of Ricochet, and this [redacted] is not helping me or Ricochet. Can we talk about the Catholic priest who was crucified by our Islamic betters instead?

    I’m all for conversation about serious topics. But I think the occasional lightheartedness will bring more members to Ricochet than the number lost because the posts are not continually grim.

    Well said.

    • #29
  30. Kozak Member
    Kozak
    @Kozak

    James Lileks:This makes me wince. See, if Cruz was the top dog, these people would be putting out books about the scary Dominionist clay-faced bogeyman who wanted children to grow up in the salt mines. It would be sold at the boutiquey gift-shop down the street from my house, where all the “humor” books flatter the progressive clientele and remind them what the proper people hold in contempt. (This store carried all the books that reinforced Bush’s chimpy idiocy.) Everyone on the right – a category that has temporarily expanded to include Trump – is a scary character, easy for parody.

    That said, I think they would have a hard time with Rubio.

    The GOP could nominate a combination of George Washington, Martin Luther King and Lou Gehrig and the Left And their lap dog media would have no problem smearing / mocking him. ( old white male slave owner, Uncle Tom plagerizer,  cripple  )……

    But by all means let’s chuckle because… Trump!

    • #30

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