The Devil and The Donald

 

A misanthrope was pondering the primaries when the Devil dropped by to chat.

“​I’ve got a joke for you,” the Devil said. “A child asked his mother, ‘What happened to the dog food Fido wouldn’t eat?’ His mother explained, ‘Shut up and eat your meatloaf.'”

“I like it,” said the misanthrope. “Are you thinking about the Donald?”

“Of course,” said the Devil. “The Republican party has had years to study the electorate, test messages that work, figure out what people are anxious about, assemble the largest cast of contenders since the last Marvel action movie—and they somehow thought people were hungry for ¡Jeb! That man was the answer to a question nobody cared enough to ask. And then, when ¡Jeb! failed, the party thought it could put that dog food in meatloaf if it was called ‘Marco Rubio,’ who had everything a leader needs but followers. And now the GOP seems to be pinning its hopes on Ted Cruz, who cannot give a straight answer when asked about infidelity.”

“Well,” said the misanthrope. “I’ve long thought that the raison d’être of a political candidate was to transfer cash from dumb donors to political consultants, and Donald Trump is making fools of both groups. Ours is a God with a twisted sense of humor. Or was this your doing?”

“Alas, no,” said the Devil. “I’d love to take credit for it, of course. I’m a bigger ham than most, which might be why the Enemy decreed pork unclean. But I don’t rig elections. I may nudge people a bit — and goodness knows, y’all love my nudging. But the dirty work is all you humans.”

“So the Devil didn’t make anyone do it?”

“I never have,” said the Devil. “Mostly, I’m the master of distraction. When people are too focused on urgent matters, they neglect the important ones.”

“I’m confused,” said the misanthrope.

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” said the Devil.

“Aren’t ‘important’ and ‘urgent’ synonyms?”

“Not how I’m using them,” said the Devil. “The great thinker Seth Godin explained the fine distinction between them with a few examples:

Mollifying an angry customer is urgent, building systems and promises that keep customers from getting angry is important.

Killing the bugs in the kitchen is urgent, putting in weatherstripping to keep them out for the long haul is important.

“Important things are the boring but necessary things you do when the Enemy is ignoring you to dress the lilies of the field,” said the Devil. “But urgent things are what you do when I am knocking at the door with the US Marshals.”

“Interesting, but I don’t see where you’re going with this,” said the misanthrope.

“Donald Trump is an urgent problem — or solution, depending on your point of view,” said the Devil. “Republican elites have not been doing the important work of listening to their voters and developing policies that address their concerns. And their voters have latched on to Trump. To party elites, Trump is an urgent problem that arose from neglecting the important.

“Seriously, before Donald Trump forced the elites to talk about what voters actually cared about, you at Ricochet had people who thought that a candidate supporting the Export-Import Bank was a deal breaker. Does anybody still think that’s an important or even an urgent issue? The thinkers on the right, great and otherwise, were blindsided because of a failure to do the important work of understanding the voters who don’t obsessively follow politics because they have lives. Jeb Bush managed to blow over a hundred million dollars with his Super PAC, yet Trump thrived.”

“And how is Trump a solution?”

“To the American voters who feel forgotten,” said the Devil, “Trump is a solution. One that’s theirs for only three easy payments of $17.99.”

“Are you telling me that you’re a graduate of Trump University?”

“I can neither confirm nor deny that I had a hand in the organization, just as I can neither confirm nor deny that the Donald has me on speed dial,” the Devil said. “More seriously, the most important fact about the voters right now is that everybody feels insecure, and most people are significantly poorer. A majority of the country has less that $10,000 in liquid assets, which means no emergency fund: a car accident or a medical bill that insurance doesn’t cover is a crisis if not a catastrophe. The wealth of middle-class Americans peaked in 2007 and has seriously fallen off since.”

“For those of us on the right,” said the misanthrope, “we’re in a pickle. We’re skeptical that government can make things better with program after program after bleeding-red-ink program.”

“And you should be skeptical,” said the Devil. “But the important issue isn’t that your voters are receptive to big government. That’s merely urgent.”

“The late Jack Kemp famously said that ‘people don’t care what you know until they know you care.’ When he said that, he was trying to encourage Republican politicians to campaign in black neighborhoods. But today, Kemp would be observing the ridiculous trouble that GOP politicians have with their own mostly white voters. I rather liked Matt Forney’s reporting from a Kasich rally:

For what it’s worth, Kasich has a genuine appeal to risk-averse, rank-and-file GOP voters. His lengthy resume in Congress and as Ohio’s Governor, combined with his ideological pragmatism, have allowed him to solidify support among voters concerned with the other candidates’ comparative lack of political experience. And, fortunately for Kasich, his supporters are too dumb to realize that he despises them all. . . .

In person, John Kasich comes off like a goy version of Shecky Greene: constantly trying to amuse the crowd with lukewarm gags. However, his “nice guy” persona falls apart when you meet the man in meatspace. Throughout the town hall, Kasich constantly rolled his eyes and shook his head, indicating his inner bitterness at being the perennial second banana of the Presidential race. You can just tell that when the cameras aren’t rolling, he’s screaming at his staffers, demanding to know why he’s losing to a pompadoured reality TV star.

“So are you saying that we need to return to Reaganite ideals?” asked the misanthrope. “I mean, I think Irving Berlin once said that if something you tried worked, you should do it again.”

“You really are dumb,” the Devil replied. “No wonder you hate everyone. Reaganism worked because it was the right solution for the problems of inflation, insane tax rates, and the Soviet Union. No Federal Reserve Chairman will ever go back to Arthur Burns’s delightful inflation. Not even Bernie Sanders wants income tax rates to go back to the levels of Jimmy Carter. Not even Putin, my favorite living statesman, could bring back the Soviet Union.”

“Do you have any advice?” asked the misanthrope.

“Keep up hysteria,” the Devil replied. “Jeremiads feel good, even though they only convince people who already agree with you. Shrieking about end times is fun, but it isn’t the end of the Republican party, just the end of the uneasy marriage of conservatism and classical liberalism that held the party together from Robert Taft to George W. Bush.”

“Is that supposed to be comforting?”

“You do realize that I’m the Prince of Darkness, right? Okay, fine. The conservative movement has an urgent problem on its hands because it failed to do the important work of staying in touch with its voters. It’s probably too late in this election cycle to get back in touch with them. But I have a bargain I can offer.”

“A literal Devil’s bargain,” said the misanthrope.

“Your first option is stab Trump in the back, accept the blame for his loss, and see if the plurality of GOP voters who backed him ever trust you again. Of course, this assumes that the people who couldn’t stop him in the primaries can stop him in the general. If they fail and he wins anyway, then you’ve demonstrated that Republicans, like Democrats, can win the presidency without the conservative movement.”

“Yeah, I get it,” said the misanthrope. “We’re probably not skilled enough at backstabbing. What’s the second option?”

“The second option is to throw your support behind him,” said the Devil. “And hope that you’ve been lying to yourselves about how awful he is. Whatever you choose, it’s dog food all the way down.”

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  1. Patrickb63 Coolidge
    Patrickb63
    @Patrickb63

    Wonderful piece.  I will remember the urgent versus important distinction.  Not something I had thought about before, but so very obvious when explained.

    • #1
  2. Z in MT Member
    Z in MT
    @ZinMT

    If you are trying to convince minds this will hardly do it.

    • #2
  3. Blake Anderton Inactive
    Blake Anderton
    @BlakeAnderton

    Readers are advised to remember that the devil is a liar.

    I’m not so sure the important work that was missed was staying in touch with voters’ concerns. I get how that alone could have led to Sanders, but not Trump. How would have using what Trump voters want in the 2012/2014/etc platform have stopped a fracture? Wouldn’t that have just alienated the same people Trump alienates today?

    • #3
  4. TG Thatcher
    TG
    @TG

    Thank you, Mike.

    • #4
  5. Tom Meyer, Ed. Member
    Tom Meyer, Ed.
    @tommeyer

    A really good piece — and I missed The Devil and Misanthrope essays. This, by the way, is entirely correct and should be shoved repeatedly in the faces of a lot of folks, self-included:

    “More seriously, the most important fact about the voters right now is that everybody feels insecure, and most people are significantly poorer…. The late Jack Kemp famously said that people don’t care what you know until they know you care. When he said that, he was trying to encourage Republican politicians to campaign in black neighborhoods. But today, Kemp would be observing the ridiculous trouble that GOP politicians have with the own mostly white voters.

    Now, Trump’s solutions to those problems are overwhelming bunk, but you’re correct that the reason he’s hit a chord is that… he actually hit a cord. And as Derb has said repeatedly, if the responsible parties ignore the populace, then they’ll likely start looking at irresponsible ones.

    • #5
  6. Tom Meyer, Ed. Member
    Tom Meyer, Ed.
    @tommeyer

    I take slight issue here:

    “Of course,” said the the Devil. “The Republican party has had years to study the electorate, test messages that work, figure out what people are anxious about, assemble the largest cast of contenders since the last Marvel action movie—and they somehow thought people were hungry for ¡Jeb!

    This presumes that the party really was about to rally behind Bush. I’ve never found that very persuasive and there were a whole lot of possibilities that were snuffed/snuffed-themselves out before Rubio and Cruz became the only alternatives.

    Bush was a well-funded fool who managed to blow-up both his own reputation and (in part) this election by running that looked like an attempted coronation from one angle and a vanity campaign from the other. But I really don’t think he was going to be president and explaining Trumpism as a rational response to his campaign is a little weird.

    • #6
  7. Tom Meyer, Ed. Member
    Tom Meyer, Ed.
    @tommeyer

    Pushing against myself a few comments back, I don’t want to let folks off too easy. Illegal immigration isn’t the problem it once was and the best thing to do for blue-color whites isn’t tariffs and “deals,” but to stop artificially overpricing their labor while through regulations and mandates, especially while turning a blind eye to Mexican immigrtion.

    The hated Kevin Williamson has offered a number of suggestions regarding reforms that will help people find and keep work, but everyone’s too busy accusing him of genocide to notice.

    • #7
  8. Jamie Lockett Member
    Jamie Lockett
    @JamieLockett

    I’m not sure I agree with the proposition that the party put forth Jeb. If anything the last 8 years of the Tea Party infused Republican Party has been a rejection of Bushism. I think Jeb put forth Jeb and he just happened to have connections to a lot of money. The party decisively rejected him.

    • #8
  9. Jamie Lockett Member
    Jamie Lockett
    @JamieLockett

    Tom Meyer, Ed.:Pushing against myself a few comments back, I don’t want to let folks off too easy. Illegal immigration isn’t the problem it once was and the best thing to do for blue-color whites isn’t tariffs and “deals,” but to stop artificially overpricing their labor while through regulations and mandates, especially while turning a blind eye to Mexican immigrtion.

    The hated Kevin Williamson has offered a number of suggestions regarding reforms that will help people find and keep work, but everyone’s too busy accusing him of genocide to notice.

    I agree with this 100%

    • #9
  10. Jamie Lockett Member
    Jamie Lockett
    @JamieLockett

    Another quibble I have with this is the idea that Republican solutions do not address the needs of white working class American’s. They may not be very good at communicating how limited government will benefit them, but that doesn’t mean their policies don’t address it. The problem is that making this case is orders of magnitude harder than either the leftist position of promising free stuff and an easy life or the Trumpian position of all you need is a strong negotiator like me to stick it to the Chinese.

    • #10
  11. Tom Meyer, Ed. Member
    Tom Meyer, Ed.
    @tommeyer

    Jamie Lockett: Another quibble I have with this is the idea that Republican solutions do not address the needs of white working class American’s. They may not be very good at communicating how limited government will benefit them, but that doesn’t mean their policies don’t address it. The problem is that making this case is orders of magnitude harder than either the leftist position of promising free stuff and an easy life or the Trumpian position of all you need is a strong negotiator like me to stick it to the Chinese.

    I agree, but that’s also sort of on us and the party. It’s their job, among other things to sell conservativism/Republicanism and they’ve not been as good at it as they thought.

    That said, a republic pre-supposes an educated populace willing to listen and disinclined to jump into the arms of someone who says some loud things that sound good.

    • #11
  12. Jamie Lockett Member
    Jamie Lockett
    @JamieLockett

    Tom Meyer, Ed.: That said, a republic pre-supposes an educated populace willing to listen and disinclined to jump into the arms of someone who says some loud things that sound good.

    This was perhaps the one glaring flaw in the founders vision.

    • #12
  13. Jamie Lockett Member
    Jamie Lockett
    @JamieLockett

    Tom Meyer, Ed.:

    Jamie Lockett: Another quibble I have with this is the idea that Republican solutions do not address the needs of white working class American’s. They may not be very good at communicating how limited government will benefit them, but that doesn’t mean their policies don’t address it. The problem is that making this case is orders of magnitude harder than either the leftist position of promising free stuff and an easy life or the Trumpian position of all you need is a strong negotiator like me to stick it to the Chinese.

    I agree, but that’s also sort of on us and the party. It’s their job, among other things to sell conservativism/Republicanism and they’ve not been as good at it as they thought.

    That said, a republic pre-supposes an educated populace willing to listen and disinclined to jump into the arms of someone who says some loud things that sound good.

    I don’t disagree, but did you ever notice how the kids who were elected to office in High School always promised easy solutions with no costs? That is was always a popularity contest? Why should we expect broader politics to be any different?

    • #13
  14. Mountie Coolidge
    Mountie
    @Mountie

    Regarding Jeb!, I do most of my internet browsing using my iPad. I almost snapped my iPad in half when I read this bit in the Weekly Standards article “Debreifing Mike Murphy”:

    “At a preseason dinner, Murphy gave Bush his best guess of their chances of winning — under 50 percent. “He grinned,” Murphy says, “and named an even lower number. I remember leaving the dinner with a mix of great pride in Jeb’s principled courage and with a sense of apprehension about the big headwinds we would face.” ”

    Excuse me but both the consultant AND the candidate figured it was less than 50% chance of winning. What was this campaign of his all about?

    • #14
  15. GLDIII Reagan
    GLDIII
    @GLDIII

    Jamie Lockett:

    Tom Meyer, Ed.:

    Jamie Lockett: Another quibble I have with this is the idea that Republican solutions do not address the needs of white working class American’s. They may not be very good at communicating how limited government will benefit them, but that doesn’t mean their policies don’t address it. The problem is that making this case is orders of magnitude harder than either the leftist position of promising free stuff and an easy life or the Trumpian position of all you need is a strong negotiator like me to stick it to the Chinese.

    I agree, but that’s also sort of on us and the party. It’s their job, among other things to sell conservativism/Republicanism and they’ve not been as good at it as they thought.

    That said, a republic pre-supposes an educated populace willing to listen and disinclined to jump into the arms of someone who says some loud things that sound good.

    I don’t disagree, but did you ever notice how the kids who were elected to office in High School always promised easy solutions with no costs? That is was always a popularity contest? Why should we expect broader politics to be any different?

    Maturity with age?

    It certainly shifts freeloading socialists into Burken capitalists once they move from receivees to payees.

    • #15
  16. Miffed White Male Member
    Miffed White Male
    @MiffedWhiteMale

    Jamie Lockett:

    Tom Meyer, Ed.: That said, a republic pre-supposes an educated populace willing to listen and disinclined to jump into the arms of someone who says some loud things that sound good.

    This was perhaps the one glaring flaw in the founders vision.

    The founders severely restricted the vote precisely for this reason.

    • #16
  17. Miffed White Male Member
    Miffed White Male
    @MiffedWhiteMale

    Mike Hubbard: Not even Bernie Sanders wants income tax rates to go back to the levels of Jimmy Carter.

    Actually, Bernie’s talking about income tax rates going back to the levels of Eisenhower – 90%.

    Personally, if it comes down to it, I’ll vote for Bernie and wholeheartedly support his economic plan, for two reasons:

    1:  It’ll punish rich Democrats the most.

    2:  It’ll clarify and put the blame where it belongs, on the Democrats.

    • #17
  18. Mike Hubbard Inactive
    Mike Hubbard
    @MikeHubbard

    Z in MT:If you are trying to convince minds this will hardly do it.

    “The Enemy uses logic,” said the Devil.  “I simply call it as I see it.”

    Jamie Lockett:I’m not sure I agree with the proposition that the party put forth Jeb.

    “Well now,” said the Devil.  “¡Jeb! was a symbol of all that’s wrong with a party that looks like it learned nothing from Dubya’s debacle.  The party backers blew $100 million in Super PAC funds on ¡Jeb!  That money could have funded fifty house campaigns, or endowed a small college.

    “Or wouldn’t it have been nice if, say, Scott Walker had gotten some of that money, instead of running out of cash and folding before the Iowa caucuses?  I suppose the advertising vendors are good for conservatism, though.”

    Mountie: Excuse me but both the consultant AND the candidate figured it was less than 50% chance of winning. What was this campaign of his all about?

    “Vanity,” said the Devil.  “Definitely my favorite sin.”

    • #18
  19. J. Martin Rogers Member
    J. Martin Rogers
    @

    Tom Meyer, Ed.:

    I agree, but that’s also sort of on us and the party. It’s their job, among other things to sell conservativism/Republicanism and they’ve not been as good at it as they thought.

    That said, a republic pre-supposes an educated populace willing to listen and disinclined to jump into the arms of someone who says some loud things that sound good.

    I would say that the problem revolves around symbolism.  The Dems are all symbolism.  I really don’t think they care whether a law will solve a problem or not.  They care about if it appears to solve a problem.  Listen to their rhetoric, we have to act!  This is a very easy short term sell.

    R’s have now ignored or abandoned symbolism.  The practical fact that Obama would veto anything they sent up, stopped them.  It’s true he would but they lost sight of the fact that it was irrelevant if he did.  They needed to show they were actively fighting him.  Symbolism matters.  McConnell reinstituting the filibuster was short sighted and the Dems will just get rid of it as soon as they can.  It was the wrong time for a meaningless symbol, yet they whiffed on the big ones.

    • #19
  20. Kate Braestrup Member
    Kate Braestrup
    @GrannyDude

    I think we might be approaching the tipping point on Trump; before that happens, it would be a very good thing to extract as much wisdom from the Trump Phenomenon as possible.

    As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, I think the #BLM movement and the Trump movement are similar right down to the strange marriage of Twitter and belligerence, arrogance and immaturity, the obviously destructive misbehavior and the follower/enabler’s strenuous excuses for this.

    #BLM gained support because there is, indeed, much that is wrong and painful about and within black American life.

    Trump, likewise, has support because there is much that is wrong and painful about and within white/non-white/ working class/ordinary American life.

    The solution(s) to both these sets of problems—which are, at least in part,  different dimensions of the same problem (for shorthand maybe  we could call it “a swiftly-changing economy + welfare programs”)—are likely to be painful.

    But not addressing the problems has turned out to be pretty painful and the one thing one can say about Trump is that he has forced the pain to trickle uphill. If/when Trump crashes and burns (again, I predict this happening fairly soon) what will follow?

    • #20
  21. Z in MT Member
    Z in MT
    @ZinMT

    anonymous:

    Mountie: Excuse me but both the consultant AND the candidate figured it was less than 50% chance of winning. What was this campaign of his all about?

    Uhhhh…generating consulting fees for Mike Murphy? Remember that consultants are paid for being persuasive, and the first person they have to persuade is the candidate.

    I read the same Weekly Standard piece. It was pretty good. In the piece Mike Murphy states and the author confirms that Murphy’s fee was capped at the low six figures.

    That being said, it never got into what Murphy’s theory of the race was. It did make clear that the animosity against Rubio was the campaign feeling that Rubio was being disloyal by running for president against Jeb!.

    • #21
  22. blank generation member Inactive
    blank generation member
    @blankgenerationmember

    My go to guy Mr. Bierce says –

    Politics, n.   A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of priciples.  The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

    • #22
  23. viruscop Member
    viruscop
    @Viruscop

    I always knew the Devil was a conservative.

    • #23
  24. Bob Thompson Member
    Bob Thompson
    @BobThompson

    Jamie Lockett:I’m not sure I agree with the proposition that the party put forth Jeb. If anything the last 8 years of the Tea Party infused Republican Party has been a rejection of Bushism. I think Jeb put forth Jeb and he just happened to have connections to a lot of money. The party decisively rejected him.

    But last election we saw a good example of how ‘establishment’ Republican Party elements deal with the Tea Party wing – Karl Rove and Mike Murphy types pulled out all the stops, I think with some help from Haley Barbour, to send the inimitable Thad Cochran back to the Senate and thwart the Tea Party effort for new blood. Trump got almost 50% and he and Cruz together about 85% of the primary vote in Mississippi. Could these kinds of results show how the Republican Party leaders are the cause of Trump’s rise?

    • #24
  25. Instugator Thatcher
    Instugator
    @Instugator

    Mountie:

    Excuse me but both the consultant AND the candidate figured it was less than 50% chance of winning. What was this campaign of his all about?

    Redistribution of wealth from the “donor” class to the “consultant” class.

    Mike needed a new pair of shoes.

    • #25
  26. Manny Coolidge
    Manny
    @Manny

    I liked this.  The beginning made me recall TS Eliot’s great quote, “Distracted by distraction from distraction.”  I think Trump’s strategy is pure distraction.  I’ve never seen a more ignorant, boorish, demagogic presidential candidate in my life.  He may very well be Satanic.

    I never liked Cruz, but I thought at least he has integrity.  I’m not even sure about that any more.  If I thought Kasich had a chance of winning I would switch over to him.  I may anyway.

    Politics has gotten me so down, I almost want to avoid it.  By the way, the only things that are not distractions (per the Eliot quote) are things of God and that which leads to God.

    • #26
  27. Baker Inactive
    Baker
    @Baker

    Tom Meyer, Ed.:I take slight issue here:

    “Of course,” said the the Devil. “The Republican party has had years to study the electorate, test messages that work, figure out what people are anxious about, assemble the largest cast of contenders since the last Marvel action movie—and they somehow thought people were hungry for ¡Jeb!

    This presumes that the party really was about to rally behind Bush. I’ve never found that very persuasive and there were a whole lot of possibilities that were snuffed/snuffed-themselves out before Rubio and Cruz became the only alternatives.

    Bush was a well-funded fool who managed to blow-up both his own reputation and (in part) this election by running that looked like an attempted coronation from one angle and a vanity campaign from the other. But I really don’t think he was going to be president and explaining Trumpism as a rational response to his campaign is a little weird.

    Any talk that Jeb! was ever a serious candidate is one of the times that calling the Washington/NYC media a bubble of elites is totally correct. The MSM thought he was legit because they’re often out of touch idiots. There was no way in the homeland of the aforementioned Devil character that Jeb! was ever going to catch on. Trump calling him “low-energy” and taking credit for taking him down is such a dumb causation/correlation argument.

    • #27
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