I’m With Boring

 

I’m going to say something crazy, and I apologize in advance if the subject has already been addressed on the member feed.

Here it is: I’m okay with boring.

It’s not a quality that puts me off in a politician. You may think that I’m trying to say that I support Jeb!. I don’t, but I also don’t hold it against him that he isn’t P.T. Barnum or Willie Stark.

Most years, the country rewards boring. Obama is boring. He’s stiff, pedantic, and even-keeled.

Boooooooo-ring.

Jeb!’s big brother George may have had a colorful past, but — c’mon — he was pretty boring.

You know who wasn’t boring? Yes you do. You know ding-dang well who wasn’t boring.

The Democrats are the ones who are supposed to get hung up on a candidate’s energy level. They’re always looking for the next Jack Kennedy, mainly because they’re sunk if they don’t run a sexy swashbuckler who gets the membership of the Graduate Student Association all wee-weed up.

Bernie Sanders is no Jack Kennedy, but he sure isn’t boring. Look at him from an idealistic college kid’s point of view. He’s a super-cuddly and inspiring mad scientist. Who knows what he might say next?

Hillary’s full of surprises, too. She’s a super-fun, super-exciting pioneer lady, with a really not-boring husband and loads of mega-not-boring friends that she’s just dying to put in charge of all the fun government departments that give us our freedom, make our healthcare decisions for us, and protect us from homegrown terrorists like Cliven Bundy and those pro-life maniacs who deceptively edited the Planned Parenthood videos.

Let’s not get hung up on boring, shall we?

For poor Jeb! the timing is wrong. That’s all. He shouldn’t feel bad about it. Chris Christie got the timing wrong, too. He should have run last time.

Come to think of it, the timing is wrong for everyone who runs and doesn’t win. Personally, I’d rather have a drip in the oval office than I would a carny barker.

There’s a good chance that at tonight’s debate Jeb! is going to try some last-ditch histrionics in order to shake the boring rap once and for all. His mother all but ordered him to smash the podium and moon the audience.

But I wish he wouldn’t. I wish he’d just say, “I realize I got the timing wrong this time, but I think I’d make a pretty good president some day. Call me if you need anything.”

There are 20 comments.

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  1. Front Seat Cat Member
    Front Seat Cat
    @FrontSeatCat

    It’s a shame Matthew that you practically have to be an actor, comedian etc.  to make it politics nowadays.  Who shouts the loudest or interrupts gets the most attention.  Television supposedly changed the campaign when Nixon and Kennedy were debating. Nixon looked pale, sweated, too serious – Kennedy was charming, cool under the collar and younger. Unless you are very used to that forum and practice a lot, people hold it against you.  I don’t think any of the Bushes like the attention – I think the people that work the hardest are less comfortable with the spotlight – they’re too busy actually doing things to worry about being polished.

    You can be sure this year will not be boring….and at the end of it we’ll be begging for boring.

    • #1
  2. Jon Gabriel, Ed. Admin
    Jon Gabriel, Ed.
    @jon

    “We need more of the Office Desk and less of the Show Window in politics. Let men in office substitute the midnight oil for the limelight.” ~ Calvin Coolidge

    • #2
  3. Mike Rapkoch Moderator
    Mike Rapkoch
    @MikeRapkoch

    I’m not just okay with boring. I think boring is the greatest thing in the universe. I cherish boring. Nurture boring. I’d sacrifice a virgin to boring if it weren’t illegal. So I don’t care who has the best debate performance tonight. If Gallup calls I’m telling them I think the boring guy won. I just don’t know who’s going to be the champ of boring. But vote for him!

    • #3
  4. dittoheadadt Inactive
    dittoheadadt
    @dittoheadadt

    Sounds like a lot of false dilemma logical fallacy going on.  We can have both exciting and substantive, y’know.

    I don’t think Reagan was boring.  I don’t think Giuliani was boring. Newt (circa 1994) wasn’t boring.  Lee Atwater wasn’t boring.  Jack Bauer wasn’t boring.  (Wait…he wasn’t real, right?)

    Is Netanyahu boring?

    So let’s not elevate “boring” to some desirable or exalted status.  It’s not an end unto itself, or at least it shouldn’t be.

    • #4
  5. Leigh Inactive
    Leigh
    @Leigh

    Well, I liked Walker. I’m with you.

    • #5
  6. Randy Webster Member
    Randy Webster
    @RandyWebster

    Mike Rapkoch:I’m not just okay with boring. I think boring is the greatest thing in the universe. I cherish boring. Nurture boring. I’d sacrifice a virgin to boring if it weren’t illegal. So I don’t care who has the best debate performance tonight. If Gallup calls I’m telling them I think the boring guy won. I just don’t know who’s going to be the champ of boring. But vote for him!

    Dunbar would agree.

    • #6
  7. Casey Inactive
    Casey
    @Casey

    William F Buckley often said to be boring was the greatest sin.

    • #7
  8. Randy Webster Member
    Randy Webster
    @RandyWebster

    Casey:William F Buckley often said to be boring was the greatest sin.

    Dunbar would say it’s the greatest blessing.

    • #8
  9. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    TL; DR? Or should I be saying, “Boring, but did read?”

    • #9
  10. Mike LaRoche Inactive
    Mike LaRoche
    @MikeLaRoche

    It is best that a president not be boring, repetitive, and tense.

    • #10
  11. Beatrice Campbell Inactive
    Beatrice Campbell
    @BeatriceCampbell

    Casey:William F Buckley often said to be boring was the greatest sin.

    It was easy for WFB to be an interesting quirkster; he was loaded and had eight talented sisters and brothers and a socialite wife to back  him up every step of the way. Anyone married to Pat with Priscilla as both a big sis and managing editor came into this world with two unfair advantages!

    I’ve spoken about this before but Jeb Bush’s gubernatorial reign changed the fiscal dynamics of the state of Florida. He’s quiet and unassuming but he worked very hard to resolve many serious state issues. I’d love to see him back in Tallahassee again after Rick Scott returns to the private sector.

    Edit as an aside to Ursula: Surely wish you’d find a minute to write a word or two for the site. I mean, I had to deal with Jeter’s retirement by myself, girl.

    • #11
  12. James Gawron Thatcher
    James Gawron
    @JamesGawron

    Matt,

    If boring could get you elected I’d be fine with it. Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be an option.

    Regards,

    Jim

    • #12
  13. MJBubba Inactive
    MJBubba
    @MJBubba

    Dullsville is where it’s at, brother.

    • #13
  14. Matthew Hennessey Contributor
    Matthew Hennessey
    @MatthewHennessey

    Beatrice Campbell:Edit as an aside to Ursula: Surely wish you’d find a minute to write a word or two for the site. I mean, I had to deal with Jeter’s retirement by myself, girl.

    I’ll pass that along. ;)

    • #14
  15. Matthew Hennessey Contributor
    Matthew Hennessey
    @MatthewHennessey

    Boring came out looking pretty good last night I thought.

    • #15
  16. David Carroll Thatcher
    David Carroll
    @DavidCarroll

    Boring can be an advantage in other parts of life. In court, I tell my clients to wear their most boring suit (if the have one), both men and women. When you go for a job interview, be sure to dress in your most boring, unless you ar interviewing for a position in the fashion industry.

    • #16
  17. Z in MT Member
    Z in MT
    @ZinMT

    Bush’s problem isn’t that he is boring. It is that his last name is Bush. It was clear from the get go that the GOP establishment were going to try their best to shove him down our throats. Even the best chocolate cake doesn’t taste good when its being shoved down your throat.  I am glad that the Republican primary voters seem to be rejecting being force fed a candidate.

    Scott Walker’s problem was that he was boring.

    • #17
  18. BD Member
    BD
    @

    This strikes me as another “get out of Rubio’s way” plea from the NRO/Ricochet cabal.

    • #18
  19. Layla Inactive
    Layla
    @Layla

    Inasmuch as I believe there is a spectrum between boring and carnival barker, I’m with you: give me the candidate who leans toward boring every time. But I do think that if the culture matters to us at all–and I think it should–then our candidate has to have a measure of charisma so that eyes stay open long enough to listen to conservative ideas presented in a winsome way. I don’t see this as an either/or: you’re a buffoon or you’re boring. Is it unreasonable to ask that our nominee be studious, serious, and sober–and lively, interesting, and interested? I don’t think so.

    • #19
  20. Henry Castaigne Member
    Henry Castaigne
    @HenryCastaigne

    I apologize for not being able to find the exact quote but Bobby Jindal was once asked what kind of governor he wanted to be and he responded with something along the lines of,

    “Louisiana politicians are known for being charismatic and corrupt. I want to be a productive and boring governor. I think Louisiana needs that, a normal governor.”

    I’ve always liked that line.

    • #20

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