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I’m going to say something crazy, and I apologize in advance if the subject has already been addressed on the member feed.
Here it is: I’m okay with boring.
It’s not a quality that puts me off in a politician. You may think that I’m trying to say that I support Jeb!. I don’t, but I also don’t hold it against him that he isn’t P.T. Barnum or Willie Stark.
Most years, the country rewards boring. Obama is boring. He’s stiff, pedantic, and even-keeled.
Jeb!’s big brother George may have had a colorful past, but — c’mon — he was pretty boring.
You know who wasn’t boring? Yes you do. You know ding-dang well who wasn’t boring.
The Democrats are the ones who are supposed to get hung up on a candidate’s energy level. They’re always looking for the next Jack Kennedy, mainly because they’re sunk if they don’t run a sexy swashbuckler who gets the membership of the Graduate Student Association all wee-weed up.
Bernie Sanders is no Jack Kennedy, but he sure isn’t boring. Look at him from an idealistic college kid’s point of view. He’s a super-cuddly and inspiring mad scientist. Who knows what he might say next?
Hillary’s full of surprises, too. She’s a super-fun, super-exciting pioneer lady, with a really not-boring husband and loads of mega-not-boring friends that she’s just dying to put in charge of all the fun government departments that give us our freedom, make our healthcare decisions for us, and protect us from homegrown terrorists like Cliven Bundy and those pro-life maniacs who deceptively edited the Planned Parenthood videos.
Let’s not get hung up on boring, shall we?
For poor Jeb! the timing is wrong. That’s all. He shouldn’t feel bad about it. Chris Christie got the timing wrong, too. He should have run last time.
Come to think of it, the timing is wrong for everyone who runs and doesn’t win. Personally, I’d rather have a drip in the oval office than I would a carny barker.
There’s a good chance that at tonight’s debate Jeb! is going to try some last-ditch histrionics in order to shake the boring rap once and for all. His mother all but ordered him to smash the podium and moon the audience.
But I wish he wouldn’t. I wish he’d just say, “I realize I got the timing wrong this time, but I think I’d make a pretty good president some day. Call me if you need anything.”