We’re Gonna Need a Bigger Vote

 

We're Gonna Need a Bigger Vote 1

Tonight the various contenders wishing to become president of the United States will get their first real test in the Iowa caucuses. The caucus (meaning “a gathering of Caucasians”) process involves Iowans grouping together to publicly debate which candidates have spent the most money in the state.

Following these impassioned discussions (frequently peppered with expletives like “gosh durn it!” and “hold on thar!”) the Republicans cast traditional secret ballots for their candidates, while the Democrats wave their hands in the air, shout, steal supporters from other groups, and eventually come to agreement via arm wrestling.

Still, the results in Iowa are very, very important because … uh … they’re first. Not because the state is a good predictor of national results (it isn’t), and not because the state has demographics that “look like America” (it doesn’t). But still, Iowa is first for a very good reason: because they called “dibs.”

Like this post? Want to comment? Join Ricochet’s growing community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Get your first month free.

There are 22 comments.

  1. I Walton Member

    What is an evangelical and why do our talking heads know so much about them. It’s a serious question.

    • #1
    • February 1, 2016, at 5:04 AM PDT
    • Like
  2. Shawn Buell (Majestyk) Contributor

    Ethanol wins every time. Even if you lose, you can always get blitzed.

    • #2
    • February 1, 2016, at 7:00 AM PDT
    • Like
  3. Arahant Member

    I see frequent pauses in the future of this coverage.

    • #3
    • February 1, 2016, at 7:21 AM PDT
    • Like
  4. Vice-Potentate Member

    Iowa might actually be needed to get to 270 this time. If Republicans take all the Romney states and pull the big 3 swing states, Ohio, Florida, Virginia, they still need one more state. Iowa and Colorado are the two best prospects.

    • #4
    • February 1, 2016, at 7:23 AM PDT
    • Like
  5. Vice-Potentate Member

    I Walton:What is an evangelical and why do our talking heads know so much about them. It’s a serious question.

    A protestant Christian who focuses on the primacy of the Bible as revealed truth, a focus on Christ’s mercy rather than works to determine salvation, and often a radical break with a person’s past through a personal spiritual conviction, termed sometimes as born again.

    It is a favorite past time of talking heads to discuss them as a fascinating foreign species because apparently none live on the coasts.

    • #5
    • February 1, 2016, at 7:31 AM PDT
    • Like
  6. RightAngles Member

    Hahaha Stilton!

    • #6
    • February 1, 2016, at 7:39 AM PDT
    • Like
  7. RightAngles Member

    Vice-Potentate:

    I Walton:What is an evangelical and why do our talking heads know so much about them. It’s a serious question.

    A protestant Christian who focuses on the primacy of the Bible as revealed truth, a focus on Christ’s mercy rather than works to determine salvation, and often a radical break with a person’s past through a personal spiritual conviction, termed sometimes as born again.

    It is a favorite past time of talking heads to discuss them as a fascinating foreign species because apparently none live on the coasts.

    Due to Christ’s instruction to “Go ye therefore and preach the gospel,” technically all Christians are or should be evangelical. But somehow in the mouths of newspeople or Democrats (but I repeat myself), it has come to mean “white redneck semi-literate bigots whose parents are probably first cousins.”

    • #7
    • February 1, 2016, at 7:43 AM PDT
    • Like
  8. Hoyacon Member

    Excellent title!Shark

    • #8
    • February 1, 2016, at 7:59 AM PDT
    • Like
  9. Profile Photo Member

    Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

    • #9
    • February 1, 2016, at 8:09 AM PDT
    • Like
  10. MarciN Member

    Stilton Jarlsberg: The caucus (meaning “a gathering of Caucasians”) process

    I wonder how long the word caucus will survive.

    • #10
    • February 1, 2016, at 8:16 AM PDT
    • Like
  11. Grosseteste Member

    Congrats on making the Main Feed!

    • #11
    • February 1, 2016, at 8:26 AM PDT
    • Like
  12. iWe Reagan
    iWe

    Vice-Potentate:

    I Walton:What is an evangelical

    A protestant Christian who focuses on the primacy of the Bible as revealed truth, a focus on Christ’s mercy rather than works to determine salvation, and often a radical break with a person’s past through a personal spiritual conviction, termed sometimes as born again.

    I have never seen the term so clearly defined. Thank you!

    • #12
    • February 1, 2016, at 8:35 AM PDT
    • Like
  13. Casey Inactive

    Nice! I see you’ve been studying up.

    GRACIE_ALLEN_HOW_TO_BECOME_PRESIDENT_book

    • #13
    • February 1, 2016, at 8:42 AM PDT
    • Like
  14. I Walton Member

    Vice-Potentate:

    I Walton:What is an evangelical and why do our talking heads know so much about them. It’s a serious question.

    A protestant Christian who focuses on the primacy of the Bible as revealed truth, a focus on Christ’s mercy rather than works to determine salvation, and often a radical break with a person’s past through a personal spiritual conviction, termed sometimes as born again.

    It is a favorite past time of talking heads to discuss them as a fascinating foreign species because apparently none live on the coasts.

    Thanks, that’s very clear. So is the radical break and born again conversion how such Christians can overlook Trump’s pro abortion, pro late term abortion, pro Planned Parenthood, pro Clinton positions? That would be profoundly gullible but still wouldn’t explain the progressive positions Trump still holds.

    • #14
    • February 1, 2016, at 9:02 AM PDT
    • Like
  15. Vice-Potentate Member

    I Walton:

    Vice-Potentate:

    I Walton:What is an evangelical and why do our talking heads know so much about them. It’s a serious question.

    A protestant Christian who focuses on the primacy of the Bible as revealed truth, a focus on Christ’s mercy rather than works to determine salvation, and often a radical break with a person’s past through a personal spiritual conviction, termed sometimes as born again.

    It is a favorite past time of talking heads to discuss them as a fascinating foreign species because apparently none live on the coasts.

    Thanks, that’s very clear. So is the radical break and born again conversion how such Christians can overlook Trump’s pro abortion, pro late term abortion, pro Planned Parenthood, pro Clinton positions? That would be profoundly gullible but still wouldn’t explain the progressive positions Trump still holds.

    I think it helped GWB sweep his past troubles under the rug because evangelicals could see he was one of them. I don’t think the same applies to Trump, and I don’t think evangelicals will break disproportionately for him. Some evangelicals will vote for Trump for the same reasons as everybody else who is voting for Trump.

    • #15
    • February 1, 2016, at 10:25 AM PDT
    • Like
  16. FightinInPhilly Thatcher

    Good post. I again renew my request to The Editors for a headline of the year award, and forthwith nominate Mr. Jarlsberg’s.

    • #16
    • February 1, 2016, at 11:49 AM PDT
    • Like
  17. Hammer, The Member

    Hoyacon:

    Excellent title!Shark

    ohhhh…. now I get it.

    • #17
    • February 1, 2016, at 12:34 PM PDT
    • Like
  18. Arahant Member

    Ryan M: ohhhh…. now I get it.

    Did you feel an urgent need to explain the joke now that you’ve gotten it?

    • #18
    • February 1, 2016, at 12:38 PM PDT
    • Like
  19. Shawn Buell (Majestyk) Contributor

    Arahant:

    Ryan M: ohhhh…. now I get it.

    Did you feel an urgent need to explain the joke now that you’ve gotten it?

    Ryan M: official Rick O’Shea joke explainer.

    • #19
    • February 1, 2016, at 1:00 PM PDT
    • Like
  20. RightAngles Member

    Majestyk:

    Ryan M: official Rick O’Shea joke explainer.

    When I was little, I had a crush on Hipshot Percussion.

    • #20
    • February 1, 2016, at 1:24 PM PDT
    • Like
  21. Brian McMenomy Inactive

    RightAngles:

    Vice-Potentate:

    I Walton:What is an evangelical and why do our talking heads know so much about them. It’s a serious question.

    A protestant Christian who focuses on the primacy of the Bible as revealed truth, a focus on Christ’s mercy rather than works to determine salvation, and often a radical break with a person’s past through a personal spiritual conviction, termed sometimes as born again.

    It is a favorite past time of talking heads to discuss them as a fascinating foreign species because apparently none live on the coasts.

    Due to Christ’s instruction to “Go ye therefore and preach the gospel,” technically all Christians are or should be evangelical. But somehow in the mouths of newspeople or Democrats (but I repeat myself), it has come to mean “white redneck semi-literate bigots whose parents are probably first cousins.”

    Well said, which explains why (most) talking heads know exactly nothing about evangelical Christians. To quote President Bartlet, you get extra credit for being funny and right at the same time.”

    • #21
    • February 1, 2016, at 1:55 PM PDT
    • Like
  22. La Tapada Member

    Thanks! I needed a little light-heartedness.

    • #22
    • February 1, 2016, at 2:26 PM PDT
    • Like