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Chipotle and the Cult of Secular-Kosher
Is it important to you that the coffee you drink be fair trade and shade-grown? That the grapes from which your wine is made be locally-sourced? That the food you eat contain not a whiff of genetically-engineered ingredients? Welcome to the world of secular-kosher, where Judaism’s ancient dietary code for ethical eating is discarded in favor of a New Age preoccupation with feeling good about yourself and a healthy dollop of anti-Big Ag posturing.
The embodiment of secular kosher is Chipotle, which, in 2015, would seem to be hell-bent on poisoning as many of its customers as possible: a norovirus outbreak in California over the summer and another in Boston earlier this month; several cases of salmonella poisoning in Minnesota; an outbreak of E. coli in the Pacific Northwest. All three pathogens are unrelated. States which have reported food poisoning from eating at Chipotle read like a particularly grueling NBA road trip: Illinois (1), New York (1), Ohio (3), Minnesota (2), California (3) Pennsylvania (2). Bastions of progressivism Oregon (13) and Washington (27) lead the the list. The Center for Disease Control has been working overtime keeping score. As of December 18, 2015, 53 people have been infected with the Shiga toxin-producing E. coli O26 bacteria.
Food with integrity.
Virtually all of Chipotle’s marketing reeks of moral exhibitionism. Far removed from the pedestrian aim of providing moderately healthy food which is tasty and safe, Chipotle would have you believe that “With every burrito we roll or bowl we fill, we’re working to cultivate a better world.”
The “better world” which Chipotle purports to strive for in its slogan places a premium on happy animals at the price of increased likelihood of poisoning people. When it says its meats are raised “responsibly” it’s meant to assuage the conscience of its agriculturally-illiterate customer base, not to reassure the rest of us that the Chipotle experience is as safe as, say, Burger King. But don’t take my word for it: its most recent annual report contained this gem: “We may be at higher risk for foodborn illness outbreaks than some of our competitors due to our use of fresh produce and meats rather than frozen and our reliance on employees cooking with traditional methods rather than automation.”
How’s that for a New Age slogan?
Chipotle has as much a knack for curious marketing as it does for food-born illness. Below are some pearls of wisdom Chipotle serves up fresh to its customers from such intellectual trendsetters such as Judd Apatow, Sarah Silverman and Toni Morrison.
It’s hard not to take a little pleasure in the self-induced struggles Chipotle, a company whose moral vanity represents a seamless convergence of both New Age and hippie values. According to an excellent article Henry Miller at Forbes — Chipotle: The Long Defeat Of Doing Nothing Well — the primary obstacle for Chipotle is overcoming its leap of faith that providing locally sourced, natural, and additive-free food can be scaled to work on a magnitude spanning an entire continent in which the distribution chain isn’t measured in minutes.
Until such a time that Chipotle proves it can overcome this obstacle, you’re probably safer eating at Sambo’s.
I think this is a Texas thing. Everyone has their favorite gas station tacos. Of course marinating them in tequila, etc. in your stomach never hurts.
I thought that Qdoba was only in the Phoenix area, though it appears that they have one store in Vegas. I agree that Qdoba is better than Chipotle, but it’s a long drive from Tucson . . .
Good post. Love the term “secular kosher.” Enjoyed the take down of the Chipotle moral preening.
Went to a Chipotle once. Was thoroughly unimpressed. Don’t even think it was because it was over-hyped. Just tried the chow and meh.
There is a Qdoba in my small city in MT. I am surprised there isn’t one in Tucson.
I like all purveyors of the mission style burrito, chipotle being the only real national chain.
There is a Qdoba in Raleigh, NC, and there was one in Lancaster, PA when I lived there.
Food-borne illness is a small price to pay for organic purity? That’s their mindset??
We have one right in Federal Way, WA, and they are all over Puget Sound (even west of the sound in Gig Harbor).
I will also verify that Qdoba is very good. I’ve only had a meal from Chipotle one time and thought it was not as good as Qdoba or Panchero Mexican Grill.
Well I for one will never go to stupid stupid Chipotle.
C’mon, RA, don’t beat around the bush. Tell us how you really feel.
Hee.
Everyone seems to love Chain Food. I don’t get it. Chain food is fine, but why seek it out?
I like the idea of no herbicides or pesticides, but the alternative to fertilizing with nice clean minerals and chemicals is to fertilize with manure. Why is there surprise at more frequent contamination when you fertilize with manure? Seems NATURAL to me that you would get more food born illness when you fertilize with manure or composted food waste.
Yes: because arabica beans are more flavorful than the robusta varietal, and happen to grow best in the shade of trees.
Bean snob! Very funny, Tom.
Just curious as to why all the college kids aren’t protesting at the “ish” joints as not being authentic.
BTW, awesome post.
Like Knotwise, I actually really like Chiptole’s food and their online ordering system is pretty snazzy. But the moral preening — specifically, the anti-GMO embrace and the gun stuff from last year — is deeply off-putting and I’m glad for an opportunity to quit the place for the time being.
Oh great. I just gave my son a gift card to Chipotle for Christmas. He said there’s one near his job & he grabs lunch there sometimes. I’ve never eaten there. So is ‘chipotle’ Spanish for ‘sucker’?
David, this is an excellent post!
Every time I read that Chipotle actually tastes good I have trouble taking it seriously. I’ve simply seen too many people force themselves to applaud the “right things” irrespective of reality. Which makes Chipotle’s downfall all the more savory for me. I hate moral scolds whether right or left.
I’ve tried Chipotle twice. The first time to see what people were talking about – wasn’t impressed. The second time I was outvoted on where to go for a meal break during a hospital vigil. Again, unimpressed.
On the other hand, I go to Qdoba for lunch at work every 3 weeks or so.
For a chain, I prefer Baja Fresh, though there isn’t one in Louisville, KY. Can’t stand Chipotle. Rice doesn’t belong in a burrito.
For great local Mexican, I go to Lolita’s Tacos.
Chipotle: acceptable cultural appropriation.
As a connoisseur of actual kosher food, this conversation is purely hypothetical for me.
Nevertheless, it is almost a family joke that when I shop at the grocery store, I avoid everything labeled GMO free, organic, natural, earth – loving, etc. I know that artificial is better than natural.
We bought paint recently at Duron, and I was confounded by the 11 different formulation options, until my kid pointed out that 9 of them were labeled “Eco”. That made the choice much easier!
Another example of acceptable cultural (racial?) appropriation, evidently, is black women straightening and coloring their hair to make it look like white women’s hair. How that’s different from a white girl giving herself cornrows is beyond me.
I apologize for thread-hijacking. Disregard this comment.
Irradiate 100% of our food, and all this goes away.
But that is so very scary. What if we use up all our nuclear bombs?
/sarc
I like it! (Putting my ad-man hat on) Market it to the anti-Chipotle crowd: I see a burrito joint with a Mad-Max vibe, call it something like, “Mungo’s Burritos” “Quality, Irradiated Food!” “Stow your piece, and grab some grub at Mungo’s” “It’s Meat! That’s all you need to know! Stop asking questions!” The ad copy practically writes itself!
Irradiation would make food so much safer without any negative side-effects.
I can’t wait for the party of science to take it up as their next cause.
I saw something yesterday about the removal of country of origin labeling on meats. Apparently we’ll get nothing but Chinese mad cow at Walmart now. Probably serves us right for shopping there anyway.
You may gainsay the authenticity of Chipotle’s cuisine, but who among us is not overcome by the wisdom of moral luminaries such as Toni Morrison, Sarah Silverman and Jonathan Safran Foer?
Personally, they make me sicker than any bad burrito.