Ask Amelia’s Christmas Spectacular!

 

AskAmelia3It’s Friday, so once again it’s time for Amelia Hamilton to answer all your questions about choosy wives, Tofurkey, and naughty reindeer!

What can you make as a main course for Christmas dinner that’s vegetarian-friendly? — Confused Carnivore

My family always has roast beast for Christmas dinner, so this one took a little research. The good news is that, since there’s not a traditional vegetarian dish (just say no to Tofurkey), the sky is really the limit. If you know what kind of food the vegetarian likes, you could make that as a heavier side dish that they can load up on. Here are a few festive ideas from the BBC, Jamie Oliver, Vegetarian Times (might as well ask the experts), and Martha Stewart. Don’t stress; remember that Christmas is about being with the people you love to celebrate the birth of Jesus (and maybe make some extra potatoes, just in case).


 

What do you get for a wife who “doesn’t want anything” for Christmas?
— Giftless Hubby

Dear Hubby,

Yes she does. She wants things. You just need to figure out what. So, here’s what you do: listen.

Is there a task she hates around the house, and you could get her some kind of appliance to make it easier? Is there something old and worn out that you can replace? Is there something she just adores that you can get her as a surprise? Think of your wife as though you were describing her to somebody new — what are three things she likes? Is there something you can get her that melds two or more of them? If you have kids, how about a special picture of the family in a frame? Those moments are the things that matter. Appreciate her year-round, and find something personal for Christmas. I have spoken.


 

What’s the best Hallmark Christmas movie?
— Curious

Boy, this is tough question. As a connoisseur of Hallmark Christmas movies, I had to think long and hard and get expert opinions (I discussed it with my Dad). Here’s what we’ve decided: there is no best movie, but there is a top tier. The top tier includes: The Christmas Card, Dear Santa, and the Mrs. Miracle movies.


 

I recently came across Santa’s naughty list and your name has 4 stars next to it. This is good, right?
Rudolph

Dear Rudolph,

You know that the Naughty and Nice lists are private. You fell for it by reading the dummy list, which is booby-trapped, and now Santa knows what you’ve done. Feel free to send me gifts to apologize. I have an Amazon wish list. Spend freely.


Agree? Disagree? Have something to add? Leave a comment!
Want to submit a question? Tweet using #AskAmHam or send an e-mail to askamelia@mail.com.

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  1. BrentB67 Member
    BrentB67
    @BrentB67

    What do you get for a wife who “doesn’t want anything” for Christmas?
    — Giftless Hubby

    Giftless Hubby,

    You can’t go wrong with a new vacuum cleaner and tell her how much better the house will look after she gets on the working end of it.

    Then really knock her Christmas socks off with a treadmill. Make sure you tell her you hope it helps her lose those few extra holiday pounds she’s been putting on.

    Merry Christmas from the Terminal Bachelor Pad!

    Your Pal,

    BrentB67

    • #1
  2. Mike LaRoche Member
    Mike LaRoche
    @MikeLaRoche

    BrentB67:What do you get for a wife who “doesn’t want anything” for Christmas? — Giftless Hubby

    Giftless Hubby,

    You can’t go wrong with a new vacuum cleaner and tell her how much better the house will work after she gets on the working end of it.

    Then really knock her Christmas socks off with a treadmill. Make sure you tell her you hope it helps her lose those few extra holiday pounds she’s been putting on.

    Merry Christmas from the Terminal Bachelor Pad!

    Your Pal,

    BrentB67

    I’d give her a cheerleading outfit, too.

    • #2
  3. donald todd Member
    donald todd
    @donaldtodd

    “You can’t go wrong with a new vacuum cleaner and tell her how much better the house will work after she gets on the working end of it.”

    What a great line!

    Thank you.

    dt

    • #3
  4. BrentB67 Member
    BrentB67
    @BrentB67

    Mike LaRoche:

    BrentB67:What do you get for a wife who “doesn’t want anything” for Christmas? — Giftless Hubby

    Giftless Hubby,

    You can’t go wrong with a new vacuum cleaner and tell her how much better the house will work after she gets on the working end of it.

    Then really knock her Christmas socks off with a treadmill. Make sure you tell her you hope it helps her lose those few extra holiday pounds she’s been putting on.

    Merry Christmas from the Terminal Bachelor Pad!

    Your Pal,

    BrentB67

    I’d give her a cheerleading outfit, too.

    Save that till after the treadmill has a few miles on it. Valentines Day.

    • #4
  5. MarciN Member
    MarciN
    @MarciN

    It’s six in the morning, and I can’t think of any witty rejoinders to the three of you, but I hope someone does. Too funny. :)

    Vacuum cleaners and treadmills, . . . :)

    • #5

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