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Canadian Mall Introduces New Hipster Santa
No. No. No, no, no.
Yorkdale Mall in Toronto has put a twist on the traditional mall Santa by offering guests the opportunity to take a selfie with Fashion Santa.
Paul Mason, a model with 30 years of experience, is part of a holiday charity campaign for the mall that donates a dollar to the Sick Kids Foundation for every selfie with Fashion Santa that guests post to social media using the hashtag #YorkdaleFashionSanta.
Along with taking photos with guests, Mason poses for promotional photos for the mall and provides fashion tips.
Fashion Santa provides a more “adult” experience than the traditional Santa, who is also present at the mall, wearing fashionable suits and foregoing certain traditions.
Since Hipster Santa needs to create cool new traditions, I thought I’d help him out with a starter list:
- Keeps his naughty and nice lists in grid-lined Moleskines, updating them with a Blackwing pencil.
- His sleigh uses bio-fuel, but he opts for light rail where available.
- Rented a loft in a gritty neighborhood just east of the North Pole. Six months later, launched a Stop Gentrification Now not-for-profit.
- Swapped egg nog for fair-trade kombucha.
- Vapes from an e-pipe.
- Mrs. Claus is a gender-fluid yoga instructor. Prefers to be called Mx. Claus.
- Pays elves a living wage.
- Opened an Etsy shop to sell his small-batch beard oil.
- Adopts all reindeers through Namaste Caribou Rescue.
- Hemp stockings.
Add your Hipster Santa traditions in the comments.
Update: Uh-oh. A friend on Twitter informed that Portland also has a Hipster Santa.
Published in General, Humor
Man bun?
7. How come he doesn’t have to become an equal-opportunity employer?!?!
9. He still gets to enslave reindeer?!?!
It reads like the movie tagline for a low budget smut flick.
Naughty children get clean coal in their stockings.
Yeah, right.
Firstly, Hipster Santa doesn’t use the n-word.
Secondly, trans-behavioral children are referred to a certified life coach to explore their differentness in a safe space.
Gluten free cookies and soy milk. Living wages for the elves. Marriage is gauche, so Mrs. Claus is now just shacking up when she’s not on the poetry slam circuit. And no reindeer will be harmed while making deliveries. On the plus side, Santa’s new rail-thin profile allows him to navigate any chimney you can throw at him.
Where’s the glitter in his beard? As if the hipster Hamburglar weren’t bad enough.
Forget Miranda — this Santa will read you your Obergefell rights for your fashion faux pas!!
♫Oh, Canada.♫
I don’t blame the USA for the idiocy that comes out of California (or Portland, or New York City, or Massachusetts).
Please don’t blame Canada for the idiocy that comes out of Toronto.
:-)
Can I just blame Toronto?
Santa in Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”-era multi-zippered leather jacket (as depicted above) is pretty bad, but just doesn’t say “Fashion” like the other images of Yorkdale Mall’s Santa imposter:
Christmas: You’re doing it wrong!
And yes, yes, I know that the traditional image of the Jolly Red Elf was largely a construct of Coca-Cola, so how is this different?
IT JUST IS!
#getoffmylawn
Here’s a picture of Portland’s Hipster Santa with the man-bun and the cardigan.
Closer to the mark, I’d say. But authentically Portland.
Toronto. Figures.
Please do! It’s what we do.
;-)
That photo looks more like Hipster Socrates to me.
Woah. Woah. Woah.
I will not allow the belittling of India Pale Ale!
Bad enough that Coffee People was sold to the Keurig gang…now this!
Can Hipster Krampus be far behind?
Here’s my idea of hipster St. Nick.
Oh wow, that’s really repugnant to me. I want an old fashion, jolly ol’ elf Santa that is huggable and child friendly. Not some pedophile-looking guy.
Doesn’t that guy in the graphic look like a pedophile?
Drew, do you have a part-time holiday job you haven’t told us about?
Wait, is that Mark Steyn? Is this hipster Santa singing Sinatra-like Christmas songs? That would prove the case beyond the shadow of a hockey stick.
Wow! I’ve just had this sudden, fantastic idea!
Oh dear. What have I done?
Could be worse:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tb82z0sW4bU