Ricochet is the best place on the internet to discuss the issues of the day, either through commenting on posts or writing your own for our active and dynamic community in a fully moderated environment. In addition, the Ricochet Audio Network offers over 50 original podcasts with new episodes released every day.
Welcome, Montenegro!
Welcome, Montenegro!
One for all, and all for one!
I know I speak for every American when I say that we — each and every one of us — are prepared to defend your quaint Adriatic statelet with every bit of our blood and treasure.
I’m sure the rest of the members of NATO feel exactly the same way. (I’m almost sure, anyway. Croatia? You good? You better be. I mean, when there’s a bear in the woods, who really cares about the status of Prevlaka, right?)
Anyway, Montenegro, you can count on America. Everyone in America has thought deeply about our commitment to the 650,000 citizens of your mountainous new state. We welcome the extra security we feel in our homeland from knowing that your 1,950 active-duty military personnel — who inherited their equipment from the armed forces of the State Union of Serbia and Montenegro — have our backs. Just as we have yours.
We’ve come a long ways since we bombed you senseless 16 years ago, haven’t we? It even seems polls in your country are narrowly in favor of being our new ally, which is great. We’d hardly want your first-ever experience of being part of a massive defense bloc to happen without your consent. (Well, actually, it looks as if it was about evenly split, and maybe even against it, given the margin of error, but at least you’re not wildly opposed, right?)
I don’t know about polls in my country, but I’m sure that if asked, everyone on Ricochet would agree: An armed attack Montenegro shall be considered an attack against us, and consequently we agree that, if such an armed attack occurs, each of us, in exercise of the right of individual or collective self-defence recognised by Article 51 of the Charter of the United Nations, will assist Montenegro by taking forthwith, individually and in concert with the rest of NATO — even you, Croatia, and stop looking like no one explained this part to you — such action as it deems necessary, including the use of armed force, to restore and maintain the security of the North Atlantic area.
Montenegro: the Turks are now your allies! I bet this is a very new, strange feeling for you. Does it make you nervous? I admit it does me, and I’m not even the junior partner in this alliance. You’ve got to be wondering about this business between Erdoğan and Putin. Maybe you’re asking yourselves if now you have to make your bones by shooting down a Russian plane or something? Frankly, I don’t think you have to — and I don’t even think you should. I’m not authorized to say that officially, of course. I’m just speculating, individual citizen to individual citizen. It’s definitely not like they tell the American people anything about the important stuff, either. But I’m pretty sure Erdoğan did it without asking — he’s kind of a loose cannon that way. But you’d know all about Turkish cannons.
Anyway.
I sure hope Russia doesn’t try to destabilize you, now. Bet you hope the same. That would be just like them, though, if they tried. But you’re in NATO, now, so don’t you worry. We won’t let Russia mess with you. In fact, you can even mess with them a bit for fun — and you wouldn’t have dreamt of doing that yesterday, right? Don’t do it too much, but you can troll ’em a bit on in the Internet, like I do.
I mean, if joining NATO isn’t a pleasure, why bother?
Ricochet, you’re all willing to go to war for Montenegro, right? Of course you are. Someone so much as lobs a spitball in our buddy Montenegro’s direction, we’ll treat ’em to all three underfunded legs of our triad. Goes without saying. As Camus supposedly said about friendship — although he didn’t, really, and every proper member of NATO would know that these lines don’t even sound like Camus —
Don’t walk in front of me… I may not follow
Don’t walk behind me… I may not lead
Walk beside me… just be my ally
And it’s an ally you can even find on a map, here:
And hey, here are some more facts about our new ally:
- If you’re really pretentious, you spell it Montenegró.
- “Casino Royale” was set in the Old Town of Budva, which is in Montenegro.
- Montenegro thanked us on Twitter!
- It has great birds. It’s the only place in southern Europe with Pelicans. (They live on Skadar Lake.) There are 2,500 flamingos in Montenegro, and rising.
- Njegoshe, built on the top of a giant rock rising from a lake on the Lovcen mountain, is the highest Mausoleum in the world.
- Some people thought the Russians had already bought Montenegro. Fools! They had no idea what NATO can buy when it goes on a spending spree.
- Even though Montenegro sounds Spanish, be not afeared. They’ve got nothing to do with Mexico. The name comes from what I believe is now a dead Italian-Venetian language. The official language is Montenegrin, an Ijekavian variant of the Shtokavian dialect of Serbo-Croatian, with the neo-shtokavian Eastern-Herzegovinian sub-dialect spoken in the northwest, and the old shtokavian Zeta subdialect spoken in the rest. You’ll get the hang of it quickly: Just remember that the Zeta dialect has a voiceless alveolo-palatal fricative, a voiced alveolo-palatal fricative, and a voiced alveolar affricate, and that both subdialects are characterized by highly specific accents, hyper-ijekavisms, and hyper-iotations. (This could sound intimidating until you realize it’s just like all the Montenegrin vernaculars.) Anyway, in the 2011 census, 42.88% of Montenegrin citizens claimed they spoke Serbian.
- King Nicholas said, “Who isn’t loyal to Montenegrinism, he won’t be accepted by God and people.” So we’re good there, right? (He also said, “Under Murad I the Serbian Tsardom was destroyed, under Murad V it has to rise again. This is my wish and wish of all of us as well as the wish of almighty God.” So we’ll just have to pick and choose our King Nicholasisms with care, now that Montenegro’s in NATO.)
- Upon its independence, Montenegro grabbed the .ME domain name. (Macau already had MO, and Mongolia had MN.) But Montenegro so loved the world, that they gave their only begotten domain name — by operating and marketing it as a gTLD instead of a ccTLD — that whosoever protecteth Montenegro in NATO should not be forced to hack them, or create seriously awkward URL’s like NATOm.e, but have an everlasting ability to create narcissistic domain names that end in .ME.
- According to Wikipedia,
Montenegrins’ long-standing history of fighting for independence is invariably linked with strong traditions of folk epic poetry. A prominent feature of Montenegrin culture is the gusle, a one-stringed instrument played by a story-teller who sings or recites stories of heroes and battles in decasyllabic verse.
- Here’s some traditional Montenegrin music:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OItrwl14ok
And in case you’re still not sure what you just signed up to fight and die for, here’s a video to help you get used to the idea:
So welcome, Montenegro! All for one and one for all! And don’t be spooked by all the mean things Putin’s saying about you today:
Russia has threatened that Montenegro’s NATO accession would result in “retaliatory actions” after the Balkan state was invited to join the U.S.-led military alliance in its first enlargement since 2009, the RBC news portal reported Wednesday.
The decision, described by NATO Secretary General Jens Stoltenberg as “historic,” would see the organization expand further into Eastern Europe, with 12 states which were formerly part of the Eastern bloc having joined already.
“The continued eastward expansion of NATO and NATO’s military infrastructure cannot but result in retaliatory actions … from the Russian side, in terms of ensuring security and supporting the parity of interests,” Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov said, RBC reported.
They’re just bluffing. What are they going to do, test NATO’s commitment in some sneaky Russian way at a time when the alliance has never been stronger? Pshaw.
Ricochet, join me in giving a big Ricochet welcome to our newest ally, Montenegro! I’m sure you’re all sick to death of the non-stop national debate about whether it’s wise to commit ourselves to the defense of Montenegro under these circumstances; and I know our politicians have been burning up the campaign trail with their arguments for and against this enlargement, so it’s understandable that you’ve had enough with the Montenegro-frenzy.
But now’s the time to say: We decided this together, as a democracy. And we’re in it to win.
With Montenegro by our side. Huzzah!
Published in General
Why is NATO still expanding?
Nero Wolfe is going to have 2 beers.
I’m ready! I watched the “Facts About” video and found out that Montenegró is the most “biologically diverse” country in Europe. Who wouldn’t go ALL IN! for a country that has “diversity” in its list of facts?
Incredibly long memories.
About twenty-two years ago, I was at a dinner party where the Balkans conflict was briefly brought up. A women made a comment in a world-is-a-crazy-place tone of voice, “I can’t even tell who is who in this fight, everyone looks the same.” My best friends mother (whom I love dearly) responded as her eyes narrowed, “I can”. It sent a lasting chill through me. I came to realize that when people where being thrown from a particular bridge in a, seemingly unremarkable village, it was not random. It was done in a historical context. There are ledgers kept and nothing is “written-off”. Even if I don’t get it, I know it exists.
On the other hand. Incredibly loyal and generous. The phrase no better friend comes to mind, along with the corollary.
I went to Montenegro for my honeymoon. I was not impressed.
Didn’t Owen Wilson get shot down over a golf course there?
Recall that “Little Montenegro” awarded Jay Gatsby a commendation medal for his service in WWI. Good for them!! :-)
But how was Montenegro?
Best summary I’ve ever read of the ex-Yugoslavs:
“The people fighting all speak the same language, have the same look and dress, eat the same foods, drink the same things. The differences are mainly religious, and the combatants consist of Bosnians that don’t go to Sunni Mosque, Croatians that don’t go to Catholic church, and Serbians that don’t go to Orthodox cathedral.”
Claire,
You put too much effort into your sarcasam.
Dr. Berlinski,
Damn it Claire, you can’t judge by size!
There isn’t any more profitable undertaking than to declare war on the United States and be defeated.
Let that be a lesson to you, Dr. Berlinski!
Regards,
Jim
I wonder who in NATO grew a set of gonads to pull this one off? Talk about a nice strategic move. Passive – aggressive to the max. I suspect this has less to do with Montenegro than a shot across Putin’s bow to let him know if he wants to start gobbling countries up again, NATO can play that game too. I bet the Obama Administration is besides itself on this one.
There is something surreal about watching this type of bureaucracy at work. So in all the years since 2009 when this was initially proposed did no one ask, “Perhaps the situation has changed, does Montenegro ascension still make sense?”
Did no one ask, “Is this the appropriate time? Relations with Russia have changed markedly since this was first proposed.”
No nothing of that nature, the bureaucracy simply rolls on completely detached from all external events.
FJG: I see it this way too. It is a strategic move in the big chess game. I like to see NATO be aggressive against its enemy, Russia. NATO has stood against Russia since it was founded. That is why it exists.
I find it amazing that the same person calling on us to be more reasonable about what to expect with Turkey with realpolitk, now has this massive sarcastic post on a realpolotik move by NATO.
Ah, yes, with Fritz and Archie by his side.
Best detective in fiction. Ever.
It wouldn’t be that far-fetched but for….
The principle of national sovereignty is better protected when assaults are nipped in the bud–in a Montenegro (sorry, I’m egotistical, but I draw the line at pretension) rather than a Poland, or a France, for instance.
In better times, with more coherent foreign and defense policies, this move would be an important signal to Russia.
Oh, well….
I’m down with any excuse to kill [CoC] Russians.
Eric Hines
They weren’t already? Huh.
Well, happy belated membership in NATO, Montenegro. Welcome to the right side of the Iron Curtain, and not a moment too soon. The world is a dangerous place, and those of us who don’t want to be overcome by the forces of darkness and barbarism (why does it always come from the Eastern Steppes?) have to band together to get out of that Old World.
I realize that 1,950 soldiers might not sound like a big contribution, but when we need those near two thousand, we’ll appreciate them. I also understand you’re feeling a bit nervous about our commitment to you. Well, it’s probably deserved. The thing is, though, the current President won’t be there forever, and while the American people are a petulant, pampered, guileless, foolish, reckless, unserious… you know, I think you get the point. For all our failures, though, you should also know that there are still enough of us that our promises seriously that, though we may have to drag our benighted brethren kicking and screaming into the fight -if it comes to it, we will get there with our screaming eagles.
Oh, and the Turks. Well, you know the Turks and their sense of honor -and we can tell you that, though they can be tough to work with, they are good fighters, as they demonstrated in Korea. We just have to keep them pointed the right way.
Welcome to the New World, Montenegro.
I agree, I am not sure where Claire is going with the sarcasm on this one. This was a strategic chess move in the game of empires on the world stage. It is as subtle as a slap in the face for the Russian Bear. A move that I did not suspect by NATO with an Obama in charge US. I bet that Putin was also taken by surprise. I am curious who pushed this to happen now? Somewhere in the game is a player with some serious gravitas.
While reading this I suddenly remembered that I still am missing some of my Tintin books, including Le Sceptre d’Ottokar. I may have loaned them to someone. It wasn’t you, was it?
How you get to weigh a sixth of a ton. Just sayin’
What’s the argument here? Under the pile of snark, I’m not sure what the point is. That NATO is a collection of small states backed almost entirely by the US? That’s not exactly news.
I know Montenegro is no titan, striding the geopolitical landscape like Luxembourg. But given the historical affinity between the south slavs and Russia, I think this is a coup.
Because as a strategic move it appears to be a foolish one.
It raises the stakes yet gains us absolutely nothing. Serbia is right next door giving the Russians a natural proxy if they wish to stir up trouble. How much would it take to restart the chaos of the 1990s in the Balkans?
That’s how I feel about Turkey. I definitely get it. And it pains me so much more than I’ll ever properly be able to express that my country got mixed up with the AKP and the Gülenists — people who definitely don’t all look the same to me, or to any Turk who once believed that the United States was full of sincere people who believed in liberal democracy.
I’d like to think it was an honest mistake. No one in Turkey does, but I’m not Turkish.
Was John Kerry asleep?
I suspect that the late Samuel Huntington would disapprove, or at least be weary. This messes with the cultural/civilizational alignment of the region. The precise reading of Montenegro is sketchy, but they may be more in tune with the Orthodox / Eastern psyche of Russia, notwithstanding the tyrant at the head of Russia. How long term can this be? Anyway, as unhappy Putin may be, perhaps Turkey isn’t pleased, either. Perhaps Turkey is the actual target for tempering?
Oh, well now that is an argument. I don’t agree with it, but it is an actual argument.
I would say that now NATO is involved, Russia is less likely to stir up trouble. I think if Turkey was not in NATO, there would already be more trouble.
I said in another thread, Turkey is an enemy of America because they did not stand with us when I thought they should have. But, Turkey is far more on our side than Russia ever has been or ever will be. They are as much an enemy as China.
Bryan,
How can one tell?
Regards,
Jim
I’m sure that’s what it is, and have no idea whether the Administration is pleased or displeased by it. I’m dismayed (if it isn’t obvious) that the decision was made with so few of the formalities of democracy. We may really be called upon to defend Montenegro. From what I’ve seen lately — and I’m perhaps judging too much by the mood on Ricochet — the moment such a thing happens, most Americans react by saying, “Why? What’s that country to us?” It doesn’t seem NATO enlargement — which will indeed be perceived as a provocative act — should be such an elite decision. I wasn’t consulted. (I’d have voted “yes,” but I’d have meant it, too.) I haven’t done anything like a rigorous study of this, but it doesn’t seem that a decision this significant received much debate in the US. It adds to my growing sense that we — we the people, the demos — aren’t being properly consulted in matters of war and peace, which are really the most important ones we can make.
I have a feeling something like that, too. I wouldn’t say that “the bureaucracy simply rolls on completely detached from all external events,” but I feel increasingly that these massively important decisions are being made by an elite that doesn’t much feel we need to know about them, or understand them. And that while we get distracted by the issue du jour — 10,000 Syrian refugees, for example — this happens, almost unnoticed, and somehow we end up treaty-bound to Montenegro, which almost defines “a quarrel in a far away country between people of whom we know nothing.” I mean, seriously: We were bombing them 16 years ago. And now we’re willing to embrace them in NATO? I am willing — it makes sense to me, strategically, in light of Putin’s behavior — but I think it will be a very hard sell, when push comes to shove, and it very well might.
I’m not sure that it’s foolish, inherently, but not sure we’re truly willing to defend Montenegro, in which case, it is foolish — and could destroy whatever remains of NATO credibility. I wonder if the people who are charging on ahead with this project have considered that Americans don’t want this responsibility and won’t accept it.
I think quite a bit — they are exhausted — but I think Russia is willing to go quite far to create mischief.